


Its Loveliness Increases

by the_secret_wordsmith



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, BAMF Minerva McGonagall, Epic Friendship, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), POV Alternating, POV Multiple, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Is Slow, Women Being Awesome, as in lots happens first, jily, these pairings are eventual, wizards aren't racist but muggles are, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 89,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25822624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_secret_wordsmith/pseuds/the_secret_wordsmith
Summary: "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." – KEATSSirius Black is wild and passionate. Remus Lupin is kind and wily. James Potter has so much love to give that he really might burst, and Peter Pettigrew is just so grateful to be included.Their friendship is powerful and beautiful, a joy forever; and Hogwarts better prepare itself: pranks and mischief are afoot with the young and brilliant marauders around.MARAUDERS' ERA EPIC[Posted up to March 1973 at the moment (so their second year)][Planned to eventually be AU from 1980/81]
Relationships: Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 158
Kudos: 150





	1. 1st September 1971: SIRIUS

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is on a break at the moment but it goes up to March 1973, full of pranks and mischief and the beginnings of James Potter's quidditch obsession. x

_A thing of beauty is a joy forever:_

_Its loveliness increases; it will never_

_Pass into nothingness; but still will keep_

_A bower quiet for us, and a sleep_

_Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing._

**-Keats**

***

**1 st of September 1971**

_SIRIUS._

“You ready, Sirius?”

He looked up at his older cousins, one on each side, and beamed. “Yeah.”

Andy laughed and Cissy gripped him tighter as the three of them sped towards the barrier. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could hear his mother shouting something from behind them. Regulus was still trapped, clinging to her hand and unable to escape her tight grip like Sirius had when he'd given her the slip, running ahead to catch up with his cousins.

The wall got closer. He forced himself not to blink and then -

\- and then they were through, their surroundings transforming, steam clearing, train shining, owls hooting.

“Welcome to Platform Nine and Three Quarters, Sirius,” Cissy whispered in his ear. He looked up at her and she smiled. Andy snorted at his open mouth and nudged him forwards.

“Better run before Auntie Walburga gets you,” she said, “Though you'll be well shot of her once you're at school. Just like we were well shot of our lot when we started, eh Cissy?”

“Andy,” her younger sister chided, “Stop stirring!”

But the blonde Black was smiling despite herself, no doubt just as pleased as her cousin and sister to be heading away from the smothering force of their family and back to school. Andy was looking away, no doubt having completely missed what her sister had just said, and then let out a half groan.

“I don't believe this,” she muttered, turning to her sister in horror, “They made Malfoy head boy!”

“What.”

“Is he that slimy git who always gives you two detentions?” Sirius asked, excited. He was really looking forward to annoying the stuck-up Slytherin prefect whom his cousins moaned about all the time.

“You bet he is,” Andy said with a sigh. The three Blacks watched as the tall blond boy went striding past them, barely even looking at them as he made his way to the train.

“You'd think with you being a prefect last year that he'd back off,” Cissy muttered and then her sister beamed and nudged her.

“Well now that we both are, perhaps we can really get on his nerves, eh?”

“Sirius Orion Black!”

The voice was harsh and familiar. Sirius sighed, his heart sinking as he turned to face his mother. She looked furious: even the house elves, pushing the two laden trolleys of trunks after her, looked scared.

“Mother,” Sirius said, keeping his head down.

“Running off like that is no way for a Black to behave,” she hissed, grabbing him by the arm, “I have half a mind to turn around and take you back home right now.”

Sirius blinked, horrified, “No mother, please. I'm sorry. I was just excited. I wanted to see the platform and the train and everything.”

“It was my fault, auntie,” Andy said quickly, “I pushed him into running with Cissy and I... I wanted to see his face when he saw all this.” She gestured around the platform and Walburga gave her a look.

“Hm, well.”

“Aunt Walburga,” Cissy said, hurriedly, “Would it be alright if I took Sirius to find a seat on the train? I'm sure I could introduce him to all the right sorts, seeing as I'm a prefect now.”

Sirius bit his lip, staring hopefully at his mother. Narcissa always had a way with both his parents and her own too: she always knew just what they wanted to hear and had somehow managed to hide her more unruly nature in a way that both he and Andy could never do. It must be something to do with being the youngest: Regulus had a similar sneakiness too.

Walburga huffed, “Very well Narcissa.” Sirius beamed and his mother's eyes narrowed. “But keep an eye on him, alright.”

“Of course I will,” Cissy said then took a trolley from one of the house elves and grabbed Sirius by the arm. “Come on.”

And they were off, meandering their way across the platform. Sirius looked back to see Andy following after them, the other trolley in front of her, and somehow she had managed to wrangle Regulus free as well. His younger brother looked nothing short of relieved to be away from their mother's fierce grasp as Andy leant down to whisper something to him.

“I don't know how you two do that,” Sirius said in awe. Cissy shrugged.

“Walburga would never try anything with us,” she said, “Our mother actually cares about us enough that she'd really put her foot down if...”

She trailed off, seeming to realise what she'd just said. Her pale face went even paler and she looked down at Sirius, aghast: “Not that...”

“No,” he shrugged, uncomfortable, “It's fair enough. I don't think my she-wolf mother knows how to care anyway. Too inbred for it.”

Cissy laughed then grimaced, looking around quickly for a distraction as Andy and Regulus caught up to them.

“I want to go with you,” Sirius's brother whined. “It's not fair. It's just going to be me left, all on my own.”

“Don't worry Regulus,” Andy said, her eyes glinting mischievously, “You'll have Bella at least.”

Regulus glowered at her and Cissy shoved her sister. “Don't be cruel Andy. Especially as Bella won't even be around much now that she's an _engaged lady_.”

She said the last two words with a silly high-pitched voice and all the Black cousins burst out laughing, even Regulus, smiling despite himself.

“Don't worry Reg,” Sirius said to his brother quietly as the older girls started heaving their trunks onto the train, “You'll be with us next year.”

“I suppose,” he replied mournfully.

“You first years too?”

They jumped at the jovial voice, turning around to see a round-faced boy with watery blue eyes and a mop of blond hair staring at them, wide-eyed.

“Er, I am,” Sirius replied, unsure.

“Oh good,” the boy said, positively vibrating with relief, “I'm Peter by the way, Peter Pettigrew. I already have a friend who's starting this year too, but I have no idea where he's got to so...” He trailed off and laughed nervously at the unamused stares of the Black brothers. “What's your name then?” He asked.

“Sirius,” Sirius said, “Sirius Black.”

Peter's eyes widened and he looked from one brother to the other. “Oh, wow. Black. Oh...” He trailed off and Sirius bit back a smirk. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. In the end it was Regulus who spoke next.

“And I'm Regulus Black,” he said primly, “But it doesn't matter what our surname is, does it Sirius? We're just the same as you only we'll both undoubtedly be better at magic. You are pure-blood too, though, aren't you?”

Peter's bright red flush was answer enough. Sirius didn't know what to say but was saved from talking by the reappearance of his cousins.

“Hello there,” Andy said kindly to Peter, “First year too?”

“Uh... yeah,” Peter said, slowly looking away from Regulus, “Excuse me.” And he hurried off.

Andy sniffed, “Weird.”

“I don't think he was pure-blood,” Regulus said in a hushed whisper, as though it were a terrible secret. Cissy folded her arms with a half-glance to her sister. Andy drew herself up to her full height and glowered down at Regulus.

“And what does that matter?”

Regulus frowned, “You know it does, Andy.” He turned back to Sirius, “Right Sirius?”

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck, distinctly uncomfortable, torn between his little brother and his much cooler older cousins.

“Uh... I don't really think it does actually, Reg.” He chanced a look at his brother. Regulus had gone very pale.

“Well don't let mum hear you say that.”

“Like I'm that stupid.”

“You say that but that didn't stop you from putting all the family portraits upside down for April Fools, and you remember what mum did to you because of that!”

“Boys, boys,” Andy said, holding up her hands and biting back a smirk, but Cissy was looking genuinely concerned.

“What did she do to you, Sirius?”

Sirius scuffed his shoes, refusing to meet her gaze. When he did eventually look up he chose instead to look past his cousin's wide worried eyes, further down the platform where he could see Peter Pettigrew talking conspiratorially to a bespectacled boy with messy black hair. As Sirius watched they both turned to stare directly at him. The bespectacled boy wrinkled his nose in disgust then pulled Pettigrew onto the train and out of sight.

Sirius flushed.

“Oi, earth to planet Sirius.”

He blinked and turned his attention back to his cousins, who were both now staring at him in concern. Then Andy let out a sigh.

“Never mind about your mum, eh Sirius,” she said with a look to her sister, “You'll be well shot of her soon.”

“Well I won't,” Regulus said, huffing. Andy ruffled his hair, and Cissy smiled, the worry disappearing from her face.

“Well you're smarter than your brother, Reggie,” she said, poking him, “You know how to stay on Walburga's good side, like me. We two are definitely the cleverer Black siblings, eh?”

“Oi!”

Andy shoved her sister. Sirius gave a forced laugh, his mind still obsessing over Pettigrew and that messy haired boy who'd given him such a disgusted look. It didn't sit right, somehow. It had been Regulus and not him, after all, who'd started spouting their parents pure-blooded nonsense, though even Sirius had to admit he'd quite liked the way Peter had looked at him after hearing his name: Black, like he was royalty or something.

The second he thought that, he shuddered. No way. Sirius was not going to be like that. No way.

“Cold or something?” Andy asked him and he shrugged. Then she noticed something above his head.

“Watch out, the wicked witch of the west is coming!”

“What's that a reference too?” Cissy asked, “It's not some muggle thing is it?”

Andy shrugged, ignoring her sister and Cissy rolled her eyes, “You spend way too much time with that Hufflepuff boy.”

“Shove off,” Andy hissed but they both stopped as said wicked witch of the west appeared, Sirius's father, uncle and aunt in her wake.

“Come here, Regulus,” Walburga said imperiously and he did. Sirius gave his brother a pitying look.

“We're all set up on the train, Aunt Walburga,” Cissy said before joining Andy in hugging their mother goodbye.

Druella Black nee Rosier was a much softer woman then Sirius's own mother, and he felt that familiar stab of jealous longing as he watched his cousins get lovingly kissed goodbye by their mother.

She might be just as bigoted as the rest of the Black family, and her husband Cygnus was eerily similar to his older sister, Walburga; but at least Druella knew how to show love. Andy and Cissy, and Bella too, had always known what it was to be loved by their mother. Sirius looked away.

His father, Orion Black, held out his hand and Sirius took it. “Don't let us down, Sirius. Remember who you are: the first son and heir of the noble House of Black.”

“Toujours Pur,” Walburga added with a curt nod.

And that was the only parental show of affection he got.

He was about to follow his older cousins up onto the train when Regulus let out a cry, escaping their mother's firm grasp to pull Sirius into a hug. Sirius smiled and squeezed his brother tightly before their mother pulled him away. She gave Regulus a short cuff on the back of the head but it didn't stop the tears.

“See you, Reg,” Sirius said, and turned away.

“Stop that weeping, Regulus,” he heard their father say stiffly, “You're not a little girl. Chin up.”

And then they were gone, the door of the train clicking shut behind him as he trailed after his older cousins in search of an empty compartment.

***

“And unfortunately, this is where we leave you,” Andy said, leaning against the compartment door barely five minute later as Cissy pulled him into a hug.

“Wha – why?”

Sirius looked from the brunette to the blonde then back again, confused and in truth slightly scared. Not that he would ever admit to the latter: but he was starting a new school and he wasn't used to being on his own, not when he had always had Regulus to look out for. But he swallowed all of that and tilted his chin up as Cissy answered.

“We're both prefects, Sirius,” she told him gently, “We have to go to the prefects' meeting.”

“It's terribly boring, if that helps,” Andy added, “Though no doubt Cissy will be enthralled by Malfoy's droning. Simple things please simple minds and all that.”

“Hey,” Cissy said, and poked her. “You're just worried cos you know I'm going to be a much better prefect than you are.”

Andy rolled her eyes, “Yeah, sure. That's it.” She looked back at Sirius, sitting on his own by the window. “You'll be alright on your own for a bit then Sirius?”

Sirius nodded. “You bet.”

“Hopefully we'll be back for lunch then,” Cissy said and ruffled his hair, much to his chagrin.

“Cool.”

And then they were gone, leaving Sirius all on his own. He turned his attention to the window as the train started to pick up speed, rattling away through the northern London boroughs. Soon they'd be out of the city and heading north, north and away to Hogwarts.

His stomach lurched in excitement and that quickly intensified when there came a tentative knock on the compartment door.

He looked over as it slid open, revealing a skinny and distinctly sickly looking boy on the other side. The boy had green eyes, light brown hair and a silvery scar on the right side of his neck. He looked almost as nervous as Sirius felt.

“Hello,” he said in a quiet voice, “Is it alright if I sit here?”

Sirius nodded, somehow struggling to find his voice. The boy stepped in, carefully sliding the door shut behind him and sat down opposite Sirius. There was a long silence then Sirius cleared his throat.

“I'm Sirius,” he said, forcing a confident smile. He wasn't going to be making the same mistake of telling his surname again though. “This your first year too?”

The boy nodded, “Yeah.” Then he stuck out his hand. “My name's Remus: Remus Lupin.”

Sirius took his hand. “Nice to meet you, Remus.”

Remus smiled and Sirius beamed back, a weight lifting off his shoulders. Things were going to be just fine after all. He could tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> <3 <3 <3


	2. 1st September 1971: REMUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you @Pololilo who bookmarked after just one chapter! That was very cool of you so this chapter is dedicated to you, as well as to embarrassing older cousins everywhere. :P

**1 st of September 1971**

_REMUS._

His mother had been crying on the platform, though not in the shaking, uncontrollable sense. It had just been tears, streaming from her eyes as she hugged Remus then smiled at him, clearly very proud and happy. He was really _really_ going to miss his mum.

He'd miss dad too of course, but his mum, muggle as she was, had no claim on Hogwarts like his father did. There'd be nothing to remind him of her there, nothing at all: just him and the book of muggle poetry she had given to him as a going away gift.

“So do you know what house you'll be in?”

Remus looked back at the grey-eyed boy opposite him: Sirius, he had said his name was. He was about the same height as Remus, with long black hair falling to just above his shoulders and although it looked somewhat messy, it somehow looked good like that.

Remus shrugged in answer to his question.

“I dunno. My dad was in Gryffindor. I hadn't really thought about it much.” He scratched his arm. “You?”

Sirius, who had been sitting quite straight and formal up until that moment, slouched down, his whole body relaxing in a huff.

“Slytherin probably, like everyone else in my family.”

“Oh.”

Remus didn't know what to say to that. He felt a little disappointed: he'd been hoping that maybe Sirius would be in the same house as him, that he'd have a friend so as not to be alone. His mother had been fretting that he'd struggle with making friends, not that she'd ever said so to his face, but he'd overheard his parents worried conversations when they thought he wasn't listening, and he didn't want to let her down.

“Well maybe I'll be Slytherin too,” he said, giving Sirius a small smile.

Sirius rested his head against the train window, his stiff composure all but forgotten as he examined Remus. “I hope not,” he said, “You seem too nice for Slytherin.”

Remus frowned: what did he mean by that? Before he could ask him, not that he ever actually would of course but still, the door to the compartment slid open and in came two boys. Sirius jumped up, alarmed at the sight of them. Remus looked between the three of them: there seemed to be some sort of recognition there, but not in a good way. He frowned.

One of the boys was short and plump with blond hair and nervous looking eyes. The other was slightly taller, with messy black hair, rich brown skin, and a nose like a slide with glasses that seemed intent on using it as such.

The boy pushed his glasses back up, folded his arms and glowered at Sirius.

“You're first year too then?”

Remus glanced between the messy haired boy and Sirius, worried by the boy's aggressive tone.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, staring back defiantly, “Problem?”

“Depends,” the messy haired boy replied, “Are you some sort of pure-blood obsessed tosser?”

Sirius tossed his long hair over one shoulder and got to his feet. He took a step towards the messy haired boy, straightening up to his full height, though he was still a good inch shorter than the other.

Remus and the plump boy exchanged a nervous look. There was another moment of silence. Then Sirius answered.

“No. I'm not.”

Remus felt a jolt of relief: he didn't know what he'd do if Sirius was a pure-blood obsessed tosser. Remus loved his mother very dearly and though Sirius seemed nice, he knew he couldn't put up with someone who would look down on Hope Lupin because she was a muggle. Still, the other boy didn't seem convinced so Remus decided to intervene before an unnecessary fight broke out.

“So, are you both first years too?” He asked. They all looked at him, even Sirius, and Remus felt himself flush a little. “I'm new too.” He got to his feet, tactically standing between Sirius and the newcomers as he extended a hand to greet them. “My name's Remus Lupin.”

“James Potter,” said the messy haired boy, taking his hand though maintaining a suspicious eye on Sirius. He gestured to the plump boy next to him. “This is Peter Pettigrew.”

“Hi,” Remus said, offering his hand again. Peter took it and smiled warmly, no doubt just as relieved as Remus was that a fight seemed to be moving out of the realm of possibilities. “Want to sit with us?”

“Sure,” Peter said, and happily plopped himself down opposite Remus in the spot where Sirius had just been sat.

Sirius glanced away from James and looked momentarily a little put out that Peter had taken his spot but after another awkward moment of hesitation he sat down next to Remus and pushed his hair almost lazily behind his ear.

“It was my brother who said what he did to Peter,” he said softly and gave the boy an apologetic smile, “Sorry 'bout him. Our parents are a bit...”

“So you _are_ a black then,” James said slowly but Remus could see that he was hardly intent on fighting now. Instead he looked confused. Remus didn't understand his question though: Sirius wasn't black. His complexion was incredibly pale in fact, like Remus's or Peter's.

What James said didn't make sense at all, especially as he had a rich brown complexion himself. And anyway, Remus had always thought that wizards weren't half as racist as muggles: they were bigoted in other ways of course, with all that pure-blood nonsense, but hardly intent on imposing a hierarchy based on skin colour, of all things.

“Yeah I am,” Sirius said with a grimace then he held out his hand for James: “Sirius Black.”

Oh, that made more sense, Remus thought: Black was his surname. He frowned: that name did ring a bell for Remus. Perhaps his dad had mentioned the Blacks before.

“I don't exactly get on with my parents,” Sirius added. James sat down opposite him, next to Peter who was by the window. He tilted his head to one side.

“My dad's told me a lot about your family,” James said, “Or well... I've overheard him talking to my mum.”

“Yeah,” Sirius sighed then rubbed the back of his neck, “I've heard about the Potters too.”

“All bad I hope,” James said with a smile. Sirius laughed.

“Bad to my parents means good, in my opinion.”

And just like that, the tension between the two black-haired boys was gone. Remus exchanged another look with Peter, who seemed just as relieved, and they both smiled.

“Any idea what house you'll be in?” Sirius asked, his leg bouncing in excitement.

“Gryffindor!” James said with gusto and certainty, “Like my dad and his dad before him. What about you?” His attention wasn't primarily on Sirius anymore as he glanced over to Remus.

Remus thought about how uncomfortable Sirius had been with this question earlier so hastily answered instead.

“Well my dad was Gryffindor too,” he said, “So maybe Gryffindor for me too.” He gave a half glance to the boy sitting next to him. Sirius's leg was no longer bouncing up and down, “Though it hardly matters.”

James scoffed, “Sure it does. We'll be sharing classes and common rooms and dormitories and quidditch teams and house points and tables and everything with our house!”

Sirius looked quite miserable now, Remus noticed, and his heart went out to the boy. Fortunately Peter changed the subject, his eyes glazing over somewhat.

“My sister told me that the start of year feast is to die for.”

James snorted, “Trust you to think of your stomach, Pete.” He looked back to Sirius, “I hear your whole family was in Slytherin.”

Remus could've whacked him, despite the fact he'd only just met all three of the boys in the compartment. But come on: surely James could see how much this was upsetting Sirius.

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, morosely, and James belatedly hurried to correct his mistake.

“I wouldn't worry about it though,” he said, “Just cos your family were in Slytherin doesn't mean you will be too.”

“Why? Is there something wrong with Slytherin?” This was a new voice, coming from the door. The four boys all jumped and looked over to see two older girls standing there, one dark haired and one blond, both very pretty and with prefect pins attached to their robes. And both of them wore Slytherin ties.

“Er...” James trailed off, wrong-footed, but Sirius smiled.

“These are my cousins, Andromeda and Narcissa.”

“Ugh, don't,” the girl with dark hair said, “I can't believe mother gave me that name. And she says she loves us.” The girl collapsed into the seat next to Sirius then looked round, “You lot can call me Andy.”

The other girl, blonde-haired, was still standing in the doorway, a wry smile on her face though she looked a bit unsure as she turned to Sirius.

“You've never held our house against us before, Sirius.” She tucked a blonde lock behind her ear, “And just because your mother is a tyrant, doesn't mean all us Black women are the same.”

Sirius flushed bright red, much to Remus's amusement, and muttered something about not saying anything of the sort. Andromeda Black contemplated Sirius for a moment before looking around at the three other boys in the compartment. Then a mischievous smirk appeared on her face and she pulled her young cousin into a tight embrace.

“Oh, poor ickle Sirius,” she cooed, “He loves us so so much. Don't you, puppykins. Where would you be without your beloved big cousins Andy and Cissy, eh?”

Sirius let out an embarrassed yelp and slipped free. He stood, glowering down at his now cackling cousin. James was blinking, wide-eyed, and Peter was hiding a smirk. Remus raised his eyebrows as Sirius looked around at him causing the black-haired boy to blush bright red.

“Right,” he said, turning on the older Slytherin prefects in a huff, “That's enough. You two can go away and annoy some other poor sod.”

Andromeda clasped her hand to her chest in mock-hurt. “You wound me cousin.”

“Come on, Andy,” her sister said, smiling despite herself, “He doesn't need us anymore. It didn't take long.”

“Ah, they grow up so quickly,” Andromeda said, getting to her feet. She darted forward and pinched Sirius's cheek before cackling again and haring out of the compartment to avoid his retaliation. Narcissa hesitated before going after her sister.

“We're always here if you need us, Sirius,” she said, “Evil Slytherins though we are.”

And with that, the two Black sisters were gone.

Sirius slammed the compartment door firmly and turned back round, a defiant expression on his face as he stared the other three boys down. Remus quickly looked away, as did Peter, but James wasn't so easily cowed.

“Well they seem nice,” he said, voice the picture of innocence. Remus snorted despite himself and soon all three of them were laughing whilst Sirius stood there, fists clenched firmly at his sides.

Eventually though, he relented, no doubt seeing the good-natured side of their laughter. He sighed and slumped back down in his seat next to Remus.

“And they're the better part of my family,” he said. No doubt it was meant to be funny, but the comment cut their laughter short, turning the atmosphere promptly from light to serious. Peter rubbed at his nose and Remus didn't quite know where to look.

“I'm sorry about that, mate,” James said eventually, “And for assuming you were... like that.”

Sirius shrugged, “Nah, don't worry about it. I would assume it too if I were you.

“Andy seems like good fun though,” James went on, “Very pretty too,” he added as an afterthought. Then he yelped as Sirius pinged a hairband at him.

“That's my cousin, you oik!”

And just like that, the tension was gone. Remus smiled and laughed along with the rest of them, feeling lucky beyond belief. These boys seemed really nice and were actually interested in the things Remus had to say too. He'd never expected to make friends so soon. He couldn't wait to write home and tell his mother about them all. She'd be so happy.

And more than anything, he really hoped they'd be sorted into the same house. It didn't matter which house: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or even Slytherin; just so long as they were all together. That was all that mattered to Remus.

***

That evening they stood nervously before the strange singing hat on the stool.

Of the four of them, Sirius was the first to be sorted. When the stern looking teacher called McGonagall called his name, he looked terrified and defiant all at once, turning briefly to Remus who gave him a smile. This was it.

Sirius smiled back, then turned to head up to the stool. Remus watched and waited, his heart thudding in his mouth. He honestly didn't know what outcome he wanted and glanced over to the Slytherin table to see the two Black sisters watching eagerly.

It was a long time. The seconds trickled by, then the minutes. Then -

“GRYFFINDOR!”

Remus's heart jumped and he watched as Sirius opened his grey eyes, wide and shocked, and got unsteadily to his feet. Remus clapped along with the Gryffindors and suddenly, for the first time since receiving his Hogwarts letter, it really _really_ mattered to him what house he was put in.

A girl with red hair who went before him was put in Gryffindor and he felt a surge of envy as he watched her hurry to a seat, her face bright red and a hint of regret on her face. Why would anyone regret being sorted into Gryffindor, Remus wondered. Then he noticed her gaze on a hook-nosed boy next to him who looked deeply put out by her sorting.

Ah, right.

People wanted to be sorted with their friends of course. That was certainly what Remus wanted more than anything right now. He looked back over to Sirius who was smiling at him and tried to ignore Peter's uncomfortable shifting next to him. His dad had been a Gryffindor so surely, _surely,_ that meant that he would be too. Right?

“Lupin, Remus.”

He jumped as Professor McGonagall called his name. He'd hardly been paying attention: he'd been so caught up in his own thoughts and worries. Swallowing nervously, and with a half-glance over to Sirius at the Gryffindor table, Remus walked up the steps to the stool.

He sat down and the hat was lowered onto his head, slipping down over his eyes. He clenched the side of the stool and thought with all his being: _Gryffindor Gryffindor Gryffindor._

A voice laughed in his head. “Are you sure? I was considering Ravenclaw, with a bright mind like that, and you are certainly loyal enough for Hufflepuff.”

_Gryffindor Gryffindor Gryffindor._

“Well,” the voice chuckled, “Like father like son. It's hard to deny such conviction, so if you're sure, better be -

“GRYFFINDOR!”

This last was shouted out to the whole hall and Remus almost fell off the stool in relief, only just remembering to take the hat off before he was hurrying over to Sirius Black at the Gryffindor table, his heart thudding in his chest. The black-haired boy pulled him into the seat next to him. Both boys were laughing.

“Two down,” Sirius whispered, “Just two to go!”

Remus smiled and turned with Sirius to watch the rest of their year get sorted.

Both Peter and James ended up in Gryffindor with them, as did three other girls. The hook-nosed boy ended up in Slytherin and Remus noticed the red-haired girl's chin wobble a little at that, but when she saw him looking she instantly swallowed and tilted her chin up defiantly. Remus hurriedly looked away, turning back to the conversation his three new friends were now engaged in.

“I just can't believe they don't let first years have broomsticks,” James was saying as Sirius nodded along empathetically, “I mean - I almost tried smuggling mine in but mum stopped me.” He sighed dramatically, “I'm gonna miss flying.”

“Yeah, my cousin Andy plays for Slytherin,” Sirius said, “And we played a lot over the summer. Or at least, when mum let me.”

“What position is she?” James asked, almost getting to his feet to stare across the hall to the Slytherin table. Remus smirked: someone had a crush. This seemed to be on Sirius's mind too as he was frowning at James, arms crossed.

“She's a sixth year, Potter,” he said sternly, “And not going to be into you.”

James went red, “I wasn't... I didn't...”

“And also, I thought you hated Slytherin,” Sirius added, eyebrows raised. James blustered.

“Well that's before I actually met a Slytherin. She's too cool. Maybe they sorted her wrong.”

Sirius groaned and exchanged a despairing look with Remus. “Can you believe this? My cousin, Remus: he's crushing on my cousin!”

Remus chuckled. Perhaps Sirius was concerned with it, but right now, with how Remus was feeling, he didn't think anything could worry him ever again.

But then he happened to glance up at the enchanted ceiling and a cloud shifted in the sky above, revealing the silvery glow of the burgeoning moon. He swallowed, all joy draining from him: the full moon was this Saturday. His first away from home.

He glanced back up at the ceiling then down again, scowling firmly at his plate.

“Something the matter?” Peter asked him and he shook his head, briefly looking up to see both Sirius and James staring at him in concern. He tried to force a smile.

“Just a bit homesick.”

Peter and James seemed to buy his excuse well enough, but Sirius was still giving him a strange look so he hastily set to work on dishing out a large a pile of roasted potatoes that had appeared on the table before him.

Opposite him, Peter let out a happy sigh as he too dug into the feast before them.

When Remus risked looking up from his plate it was with a jolt of relief that he saw Sirius wasn't looking at him anymore. He took a steadying breath and tried running through some of the excuses his father had taught him for when people asked about where he went every month.

Fortunately, his first full moon was on a weekend, a Saturday night. If he was careful he could probably avoid his disappearance being noticed completely. After all, nobody could possibly want to do anything in the middle of the night on their first weekend at Hogwarts, surely?

_Surely?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I'm having so much fun writing this - it's a real joy to finally be embarking on a long fic about some of my favourite characters and I hope you're enjoying it so far. 
> 
> To be updated on Saturday morning (though that might be Saturday evening for some, depending on time zones etc).
> 
> Comments and kudos would be awesome <3


	3. September 1971: JAMES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James POV now! Also, I decided to update a day early just cos. And thanks to the new bookmark @adventurous_potato. It's very exciting to have people following the story. :D

**September 1971**

_JAMES._

Hogwarts was amazing. That was completely undeniable, not that James could imagine anyone trying to deny such a thing. Well, maybe that prissy Lily Evans might try: but only because she had spent their first days moping because she wasn't in the same house as her slimy friend in Slytherin.

Not that all Slytherins were bad, James thought hurriedly, and his mind flickered to Andromeda Black, Sirius's cool older cousin. She was too old for him. Of course she was: too old and too pretty and too cool.

But a guy could dream, right? Not right now though. He couldn't right now.

He held up his hand and the two boys behind him slammed into his back as he peered around the corner.

“Ouch, James!” Sirius hissed from behind his shoulder, “You can't just stop like that!”

“Shh,” James hissed back, and listened again. He looked down the corridor, straining his ears in the darkness. He was certain he'd heard something.

“Oi, Sirius,” said Peter from further back, “You keep pulling the cloak off me, you tosser.”

“Please,” James said, turning on his friends beneath the cloak in frustration, “Bloody well shut up. We're invisible but that doesn't mean we can't be heard!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius grumbled, clearly still upset that Remus had completely ignored them from behind his red curtains as they'd been excitedly preparing to head out. James had only just revealed the cloak to them earlier that day, it being a Saturday and their first day free from lessons and all, so all of them had naturally been very excited.

All apart from Remus that was, who had looked a bit ill at their plans to be perfectly honest, and then he'd clearly been too deeply asleep to be woken up even by Sirius's whining. So they'd left him, heading out to explore the castle, just the three of them.

Peter's stomach grumbled loudly and James and Sirius turned on him, both hushing. He threw up his hands.

“I can't help it,” he hissed and James shook his head before turning back to what was once an empty corridor.

It wasn't empty now though.

“Bugger,” James swore as he stared down into the glowing eyes of Mrs Norris. The cat miaowed up at him and then there came the sound of footsteps along the corridor.

“What is it, my sweet?”

James turned to Sirius whose eyes were wide with horror. “Filch,” he hissed. James raised his finger to his mouth, giving his two friends a stern look. They were under his dad's cloak. As long as they were very _very_ quiet, then everything would be alright.

James looked back down at Mrs Norris who was staring right up at him, seemingly into his very soul. He swallowed nervously. Filch had already told them off the other day when they'd accidentally trailed mud across the Entrance Hall's freshly mopped floor. They didn't want to get told of by him again. And apparently being out of bounds in the middle of the night was some sort of serious crime or something. James wrinkled his nose: didn't really make sense to him. They weren't hurting anyone were they? It was harmless curiosity, that's all.

Filch suddenly appeared before him and he breathed in quickly: the Hogwarts caretaker really was an ugly prat, wasn't he?

“What do you see, Mrs Norris?” The man rasped and his cat hissed, her eyes still firmly fixed on James under the cloak.

Peter's stomach rumbled loudly and James closed his eyes, trying to restrain himself from throttling the boy.

“I know you're there,” Filch called, “I can sense you.”

James backed away in horror, and his feet pressed against something soft on the floor. Sirius hissed in his ear and shoved him forwards. Whoops – that must've been his feet. Peter's stomach rumbled again and the boy swore quietly.

Then there was a great crash from behind him and James turned around to see the last remnants of a suit of armour fall to the ground next to Sirius. Sirius, who was looking very sheepish.

“Oops,” he said.

“RUN!”

And without sparing a moment to look back at Filch and his cat, James, Peter and Sirius were sprinting away down the corridor, the cloak flapping around them, revealing their feet as they hurried away.

“Students out of bed!” Filch cried from behind them, “I'll have your guts for this! I'll hang you up in the dungeons from your toenails. I'll - ”

But James didn't catch anymore of Filch's threats as the three of them sprinted up a flight of stairs and hid down another corridor.

Eventually they came to a stop and paused, listening to the ominous silence for any hint that Filch was still after them. It was very quiet. Then James turned to Sirius, punching him on the arm.

“You idiot, why'd you knock over that suit of armour?!”

“I didn't do it on purpose,” Sirius cried, “I was tired. I needed somewhere to lean.”

James glowered at his friend (his _best_ friend a small voice suggested in the back of his mind) but before he could say anything, Peter burst out laughing. James and Sirius both turned to the smaller boy in surprise.

“What?” James cried, indignant, “What is it?”

“Have you ever,” Peter chortled, “I mean: who speaks to their cat like that? _What is it, my sweet?_ ”

He mimicked Filch's voice and Sirius snorted. Then all three of them were laughing, the adrenaline that was pulsing through them no doubt making the thing seem even more hilarious than it actually was, but it was nice. James wiped a tear from his eye and looked at the two boys beside him who were both still laughing.

He'd known Peter since they were small, and Sirius was, well: Sirius. They'd only met three days ago but James felt like he'd known him his entire life. James smiled and Sirius raised a perfect eyebrow at him.

“Alright mate?”

“Yeah,” James said sheepishly, “Yeah. Let's get back. We have so much to tell Remus.”

But when they returned to their dormitory, Remus's curtains were still closed and though Sirius tried absolutely everything including singing, _loudly_ , to get him out, the curtains stayed firmly shut and Remus made no appearance.

“No matter,” James said to a morose Sirius, “We'll tell him tomorrow. He probably needs his sleep. I swear he looked ill today anyway. Might be coming down with something.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, “S'ppose so.” But he didn't sound convinced.

***

James woke late on Sunday morning, his open bed curtains allowing the morning light to gently wake him. Over on the bed next to him, Sirius was flung across his duvet, his feet somehow having ended up on his pillow. James snorted and looked across the room to Peter who was tucked in nice and tight under his duvet.

Then James glanced to Remus's bed. The curtains were still tightly drawn and he had to wonder at that. Of course James, Sirius and Peter were sleeping in: they'd been up all night, but why was Remus still, to all appearances, soundly asleep.

James sat up and felt across for his glasses, shoving them on and blinking as the world turned from blurry to clear. He ruffled his hair, grimacing slightly at the messy state it was no doubt in, before scrambling out of bed and heading over to the door to the loo.

After a nice long time in the bathroom, James came out to see that Peter was awake.

“Morning,” he said cheerily and the blond boy waved blearily back.

“I'm knackered,” he said in a sleepy voice, before looking over to the other beds and frowning, “Is Remus still sleeping then?”

James shrugged. “Must be. I told you he didn't look too well. Coming down to breakfast? I doubt Sirius will be up anytime soon.”

He snorted and looked fondly at his friend, still sprawled out in the same position as earlier. Sirius was not a morning person. Nor were James or Peter, particularly, but Sirius especially was just very bad in the mornings. Remus was usually the first of them up: dressed and ready for the day way before the others for the past few mornings.

James glanced over to his firmly drawn curtains. He hoped the boy was alright. Maybe he should check on him. He was just about to slowly draw back Remus's curtains though, when Peter yawned loudly.

“Alright, I'm dressed,” he said, “Let's go eat.”

James put his hand down and turned away from Remus's bed. “'Kay, let's go.”

The two boys left the dorm and headed down into the Gryffindor common room. It was quiet, what with it being a Sunday morning and all, but there were still a couple of people dotted about. James noticed Lily Evans, easily recognisable with her red hair and freckled white face, sitting with a black girl with tightly coiled hair. James couldn't remember her name but knew that she was another first year like them.

“Morning Mary,” Peter said chirpily, lifting a hand self-consciously to rub his neck. James stared at his friend in slight bewilderment as the black girl lifted her head and gave him a smile. Lily turned around, following her friend's gaze and her face visibly fell at the sight of James. Rude.

“Alright Evans,” he said, ruffling his hair, “How's that snivelly friend of yours.”

She huffed, “His name's Severus, and he's none of your business, Potter.”

Distantly, James felt Peter sigh beside him and the girl, Mary, rolled her eyes. “Come on, Lils,” she said, “I bet Marlene and Dorcas will be up now.”

Lily followed her friend up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. James shrugged his shoulder and headed on out, Peter trailing behind him.

“I don't get why you go out of your way to annoy her so much,” the smaller boy said as they headed down to breakfast.

“ _Me_ annoy _her_ ,” James asked, incredulous, “Did you see the look she gave me?”

“Ugh, whatever,” Peter said, waving his hand as though to wash away the potential argument, “I'm too tired for this.”

“Hmph,” James said, practically giving the word vowels with his annoyance, but he didn't push it further.

They were sitting at the Gryffindor table for a good long while before Sirius finally appeared, tussled hair looking undeniably good, a thing that might annoy James if he didn't get on so well with the other boy. Despite his natural put-together appearance, Sirius was frowning, looking distinctly unhappy.

“Oh, I wouldn't worry, Sirius,” James said as he plopped down into a seat next to them, “Filch didn't see our faces. We're well in the clear.”

Sirius scowled at him, “That's not what's upsetting me.”

James was taken aback. “Oh.”

“It's Remus.”

“Is he still asleep?” Peter asked askance, as though he himself hadn't almost overslept every day this week, and would have too were it not for James literally heaving him out of his four-poster.

“No,” Sirius said, “I pulled back the curtains to wake him but his bed was empty. You guys didn't see him get up this morning, did you?”

James shrugged, “Nah, but maybe he just got up early, you know him.”

“Well you'd think he'd wake us,” Sirius said grumpily and James rolled his eyes. Seriously, Sirius.

“We're not his keepers, Black,” he said, pouring his friend a glass of pumpkin juice. “He's a bookish sort, probably went to the library or something.”

Hm,” Sirius said, clearly unconvinced.

The three of them finished up their breakfast and, because Sirius insisted, they went back up to Gryffindor Tower, even though it was a sunny day and perfect for outdoors exploration. But Sirius was adamant that they find Remus first.

Back in the common room, James and Peter settled down on the sofa whilst Sirius went back up to their dormitory in search of one Mr Remus Lupin, who was still missing, presumed A Nerd by James. Of course Remus must have popped to the library or something. Sirius was just being overly fussy.

Five minutes later, Sirius reappeared from their dorm, looking very worried and grumpy. James rolled his eyes.

“Can we go outside now?” He asked, looking longingly out the window. They hadn't really explored the grounds yet and it was such a nice day.

Sirius shook his head, “What if he comes back and we're not here?”

“He'd probably die.” James said seriously, “But that's a risk I, for one, am willing to take.”

Peter snorted and James was pleased to see Sirius's lip quirk too.

“Maybe he got up early, saw us three were all dead to the world and decided to do some exploring himself,” Peter suggested.

Sirius shrugged and muttered something under his breath.

“What was that?” James asked, amused despite himself.

“I said I suppose,” Sirius said loudly.

“Suppose what?”

The three of them spun round to see Remus Lupin, in the flesh, smiling down at them all. James winced despite himself: his earlier theory of Remus being sick came swooping back to him at the sight of the deep dark rings round the other boy's eyes.

“Where've you been?” Sirius demanded and Remus flushed, scratching absently at his sleeve.

“Oh, just about,” he said evasively.

Before Sirius could say anything more, James hurriedly spoke over him, “Well, Mr Just-About, now that you're here, Mr Worry-Pants here can settle down, and we can all go outside and enjoy the day. How's that?”

He gave Sirius a pointed glare and the boy rolled his eyes before nodding, “Alright then James.”

Peter groaned, “But it's so comfy here.”

“Nope,” James said jumping to his feet and heaving Peter up as well, “We're going outside, Pettigrew, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.”

***

Outside in the sunshine, James felt bloody brilliant. Then Sirius had to get all annoying of course.

“Where do you reckon he was though, James?”

Sighing, James turned to Sirius who was walking along beside him as they wandered out towards the quidditch pitch. He was biting his lip, staring ahead to where Remus and Peter were walking and talking, the latter barely holding back his grumbles.

James shrugged, “Dunno. Don't see why it's so important though.”

“But I...” Sirius trailed off, frowning deeply.

James sighed. Clearly something was bothering Sirius, and if he didn't ask, then the boy would be huffing and puffing about it for the rest of the day.

“What is it, Sirius?”

“I don't think his bed was slept in.”

James blinked, “You what?”

Sirius turned to him, a strange look on his face, “I pulled back his curtains and his bed was all neatly made.”

James couldn't help himself: he burst out laughing, so loud that Remus looked back at them, eyebrows raised in suspicion. Sirius let out an indignant huff.

“What's so funny?!”

“Just because making your own bed would never enter your pretty princess little head, Black, doesn't mean Remus wouldn't.”

Sirius scowled at him, “It wasn't just made though, _Potter_. It was _un_ -slept in!”

“Sure,” James said, barely containing his laughter, “And how can you tell the difference?”

“I just could!”

James snorted, “Leave it, Sirius. You're being a bit obsessive.”

“Am not.”

“Are too!”

“Am _not_!”

This continued for awhile until Remus called back to ask what they were arguing about. That promptly shut Sirius up which James considered a win for everyone, and certainly meant that he had won that particular argument.

They spent the rest of the day nosing about the grounds, and even met Hagrid, the bloody enormous grounds keeper, before heading back for dinner as it got dark.

When they went up to bed, James watched, torn between amusement and exasperation, as Sirius kept a close eye on Remus as the other boy got ready and settled for bed. He was reading a book, curtains open whilst Peter and James talked quietly, when Sirius broke the relative peace of the dorm.

“So why'd you sleep with your curtains closed last night?” Sirius asked bluntly. James could hit him.

“Bloody hell Sirius,” he said, “Leave off won't you.”

Remus had gone red and was staring fixedly at his book. Sirius wasn't having it though as he went striding across the room to sit on the end of Remus's bed. “Well?”

“Push off Black,” Remus said tightly. “Can't a guy have some privacy?”

“But your curtains are open now,” Sirius insisted.

“Well if you get off my bloody bed then I can close them, can't I?” Remus replied and matched Sirius's sullen stare quite admirably in James's opinion.

Sirius slowly got to his feet then extended his arm, finger wagging almost comically. “I'm watching you.”

Remus sat up and reached for his curtains, “No. You're not,” he said and slammed them shut, right in Sirius's flabbergasted face. James snorted and even Peter giggled nervously.

“Well,” James said as Sirius glowered at the red curtains blocking Remus from sight, “That bloody told you, didn't it.”

“Oh push off Potter,” Sirius said and scrambled over to his bed, drawing his own curtains shut tightly. Peter giggled nervously again and James sighed.

“Just what we need, eh, Pete,” he said, ambling back over to his bed, “Drama in the bloody dorm.”

Peter sighed, “Well, I suppose that's something to distract me from how abysmal I am at magic.”

James frowned, “Don't be silly, Pete. You're great.” What was his friend on about? They'd barely had two days of lessons and he was already putting himself down. Typical Peter. Between Sirius and Remus's drama and Pettigrew being such a downer, James wasn't sure how to hold the first year Gryffindor boys together, but he bloody well would. They were going to have to put up with each other for seven years and they had to get on.

James flung himself out on his bed and stared up at his bed hangings, briefly tempted to follow in Sirius and Remus's footsteps and draw his own curtains shut. He decided against it: two drawn bed curtains was more than enough for one night.

And besides, they were all going to be the best of friends: James just knew it. Peter was loyal, Remus was kind, and Sirius was bloody awesome. He couldn't wish for three better mates to spend his Hogwarts years with.

Yes, James thought sleepily, this drama would pass and they'd all be having a great time soon enough. Perhaps they could even embark on some sort of prank or something. That'd be fun.

His last thoughts, before sleep took him, were of plans for whole school chaos and anarchy; and he had some very pleasant and inspiring dreams that night.

Hogwarts watch out: here come James Potter and friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. To be updated next week, similar time, either Friday or Saturday. 
> 
> First Year will be, in total, about twelve chapters long before they start Second Year, and it'll be mainly pranks and good times though there will be a bit of angst to keep us on our toes! 
> 
> Please comment and kudos to let me know what you think. And I'll see you next update :)


	4. October - November 1971: PETER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Pettigrew: a controversial figure. Here's my take on the great betrayer at eleven years old :P

**October - November 1971**

_PETER._

James was kind to say otherwise, Peter decided, and he was very lucky to have him as a mate; but there was no way in hell that Peter Pettigrew was as bright or skilled a wizard as his three best friends. There was just no way.

And, Peter thought a little sadly, that was fine by him. James and Sirius were loud and bright and brilliant. They seemed to shine: just being in their presence was enough for Peter to feel better. Remus was hard-working and quiet but equally as brilliant; in a very understated way, Peter realised, but still brilliant.

Remus was also the one who Peter would ask for help in class or with homework because although James would often take the time to help if asked, more often than not he would get distracted by Sirius. Peter didn't blame him really: Sirius was distracting.

It's just that, well, Peter _had_ been James's friend first, his _best_ friend. And now he'd have to be a total idiot to see that Sirius had replaced him in that position. But it was fine. Totally fine. Better than fine even, because now that Sirius was James's best friend, it meant that Peter was Sirius's friend too.

And being friends with Sirius Black was like being friends with David Bowie or something. Black oozed attention, he oozed charisma; that certain something that made even the older years interested in him.

Sirius Black was just incredibly cool.

Take now.

The four of them were sitting in the Great Hall on the morning of Halloween just having breakfast. Remus was reading, like always, whilst James and Sirius talked animatedly about their planned prank for this evening.

That was another thing Peter loved about his mates: yes, they were all exceptional and brilliant and everything, but they weren't swots. They broke the rules. Like, a lot. And pranks were a hugely important part of that. Itching powder, hair dye, and stink-bombs so far had been used to great effect on a range of students and staff alike. (Peter was never going to get over Andromeda Black - beautiful, cool Andromeda Black - with bright bubblegum pink hair!)

Anyway: Sirius wasn't doing anything abnormal or attention grabbing right now. He was just having breakfast with his mates. But the looks he was getting! Peter was certain he must use hypnotism, or he would if it weren't for the fact that he, Peter, was just as taken in by Sirius's charisma as everyone else. Well, everyone bar Remus, who seemed mildly fond of Sirius and nothing more.

Not like Emmeline Vance, who was _head girl_ for crying out loud, and yet was still watching Sirius Black, an immature first year, out of the corner of her eye with an endeared smile on her pretty freckled face.

That was what Sirius Black did. He endeared himself to you, even when he was being a bloody tosser, like when he called Peter fatty for having third helpings at dinner. James had hit him and Remus had given him one of those looks, and it had hurt Peter pretty bad but he couldn't hate him for it.

If anyone else had said something like that he'd probably hit them, or at least ignore them for the rest of the week, but with Sirius it was different. It was like he lived by a different set of rules to everyone else, and far from abhorring him for it, you went along with it, playing by his rules just for a smile, or a wink or or... well, just anything really.

“Alright Petey boy,” Sirius said, looking up from his heated conversation with James over which stink-bombs to use tonight and giving him a roguish wink. Peter shook his head and let out a sigh.

“Emmeline Vance is another one hypnotised by you now, Black.” He said and Sirius laughed, turning his head to look across the hall to the Ravenclaw table. He winked at the head girl who, instead of looking affronted or appalled by such a cocky gesture from a first year of all people, threw back her head and laughed. She laughed!

“How did you do that?!” Peter cried. Sirius laughed and James smiled with him.

“Black family charm Pete,” James suggested and that cut Sirius's laugh off. He glowered at his best friend but James simply held his hand up, “Not like that, mate, I just mean, y-know – like Andy has it too.”

Sirius considered this for a moment then looked across the table to Remus. “What d'you think Remus?” 

“What?” Remus blinked up at him, his mind clearly still buried in the pages of the book he was reading. Peter squinted at the title and almost gagged: typical Remus. He was reading a book of Muggle poetry, of all things.

“Do you think I have a magical hypnotic charm?”

Remus frowned. “What.”

“Peter thinks I hypnotise people to like me.”

“Well, it _would_ explain why we're friends with you.” Remus said slowly, looking deeply thoughtful about the question.

“Oi!”

Remus snorted, then turned to Peter with a kind smile, “Charm is only superficial Pete. I wouldn't worry about it. There are more important things anyway.”

“Well bugger the important things,” Peter said as another person started smiling at Sirius, “I want what he's got and nothing else.”

All four of them started laughing, and Peter noticed, not uncomfortably, that now even more people were looking their way, wry smiles on their faces. But, Peter thought, that was alright – more than alright even, because if people were looking at Sirius and smiling that meant they were more likely to look at Peter and smile.

And that, Peter thought happily: that was everything.

***

Ten hours later, though, and no one was smiling at them now. Sirius should have listened to James, Peter decided, or at least James should have put his foot down. But that was another thing with their friendship: James seemed to have a determined weak spot when it came to Sirius and what he wanted.

But if they'd gone with James's chosen brand of stink-bombs they would not be in this mess. Sirius had insisted on getting more stink-bombs at a cheaper price rather then fewer better quality ones, like James had suggested.

And now Halloween had become a strangely sticky affair.

Sirius cleared his throat. Everyone was staring stonily at him as he stood there, swinging his arms awkwardly atop the Gryffindor table. James looked like he might burst from glee but Remus looked horrified.

The nasty pus that was still somehow oozing out of the cheap stink-bombs they'd scattered about the Great Hall started to turn from green to brown, and then the smell came in. Finally. Finally the blasted things were doing what they were supposed to do.

Sirius, who even Remus had been unable to persuade from doing a speech before the stink-bombs went off, was still standing where he'd been when he'd warned the entire school student body and all staff that “something smelly this way comes”. Pus from a particularly virulent exploded stink-bomb oozed off his nose.

Then James, clearly unable to contain himself much longer, burst into great shaking sobs of laughter. Peter felt his own mouth twitch. No no no. Everyone would hate him if he started to laugh now. But James's laugh had always been a particularly infectious thing, especially for Peter.

He gave in, snorting hysterically and then Remus was laughing and Sirius too and _that_ led to sporadic laughs throughout the hall until suddenly, _suddenly_ , everyone was laughing.

Halloween feast ruined and covered in stinky pus and yet still the Sirius Black charm won out and everyone was endeared, everyone forgave him. Peter was blown away by the guy, even as he tried to breathe through his unstoppable laughter.

Bloody Sirius Black.

***

A few weeks after the Halloween debacle and Peter was trying to get some work done with Remus but his mind kept getting stuck.

Her name was Mary MacDonald and she was kind and sweet and beautiful. But there was one problem: she was friends with Lily Evans.

And Lily Evans was not kind nor sweet nor beautiful. Lily Evans was universally abhorred by the Gryffindor first year boys. Well, almost universally abhorred. Remus actually got on with her quite well and they'd often study together in the library when he wasn't with the gang, the squad, the lads.

Peter twitched his nose and put his quill down on the table in front of him. They really needed a cool name, he decided, and looked around the Gryffindor common room, as though the room itself would offer up a suggestion, until his gaze landed back on Mary MacDonald.

And then he was back to square one. Round and round his mind went and always back to Mary MacDonald. He sighed. He just wanted to hang out with her really: hang out and share his sweets with her and make her laugh. He sighed and Remus looked up from his Transfiguration homework with a frown.

“You ok Pete?” He asked, voice full of concern. Peter blushed and nodded, returning his gaze to his own work. It was coming up to the Christmas holidays and though Peter was really looking forward to going home, it also meant that a lot of their more in-depth homework deadlines were coming up.

He had so many essays to write that he felt he might cry, and not to mention all the practical work: he _still_ couldn't get his levitation charm to work. And he was certain he was now the only person in the entire school who couldn't do it. It just wasn't fair. Charms was certainly not his strong suit. In fact he wasn't sure he had a strong suit. But he supposed he _was_ good at making people laugh.

He bet he could make Mary MacDonald laugh if he could only summon up the courage to talk to her. All they did was exchange smiles and even that was becoming harder with James's and Lily's hatred becoming even more intense. It was all that boy Snape's fault really. Stupid Slytherin prick. Lily was friends with him for some absurd reason and of course Peter's _gang_ hated that slimy git so it was all a big Thing.

And James was usually so good at avoiding personal drama, unlike Sirius, but when it came to Snape and Lily he just lost it: a little like how sometimes Remus would get annoyed with Sirius (he was literally the only person who ever got genuinely annoyed with Sirius and also the only person who Remus would really get annoyed with was Sirius) and he'd really lose it.

Peter sighed: sometimes he thought he was the only rational one in their group. Remus looked up again, gave Peter a look then glanced across the common room to where Mary sat.

“Just go talk to her Pete,” he said, turning back to him, “James and Sirius aren't here. I won't tell if you don't.”

Peter glowered at him. “I can't just... you don't know...” Finding himself speechless, Peter turned his gaze stubbornly back to his parchment. Remus put his own quill down.

“She likes you Peter. I know because she told me.”

“What?” Peter looked up at Remus, barely daring to hope. Then he frowned, “You've been talking to Mary and you didn't tell me.”

Remus groaned. “I get enough stick from Sirius and James for hanging out with Lily. Please don't lecture me. I can talk to who I want, Peter, and so can you. Go talk to her.”

“It's not that easy,” Peter hissed but Remus was already turning away from him and beckoning Mary over.

“Oi MacDonald,” he called, “Come and study with us.”

The girl looked up in surprise then nodded shyly, pushing back her afro from her face and getting to her feet. Peter felt his heart speed up as she approached. Oh he could kill Remus. What was he supposed to do now?

“Hey,” Mary said, sitting down next to him.

“Hi.”

“Oh no, would you look at the time,” Remus said looking down at his bare wrist “I've gotta go. See you around, Mary.” He looked at Peter, eyebrows raised, “Petey.”

“Oh, bye then Remus,” Mary said and giggled nervously. Oh her laugh was so cute. Peter felt himself blush: he could kill Remus, he really could. What should he do now? What now?!

He reached into his bag and pulled out a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. “Would you like a sweet?” He asked her, trying not to let his voice shake. She fluttered her eyelashes and nodded.

“Thanks Peter.”

“You're welcome.”

She smiled, her button nose crinkling adorably as she did.

Merlin's pants did Peter love Remus bloody Lupin.

***

“Fraternising with the enemy.”

“Oh bloody hell, Black, will you leave him alone.”

“No,” Sirius retorted, standing with his hands on his hip, as he loomed over Peter's bed, glowering down at him. “This is unacceptable behaviour. We don't like the girls.”

“You might not like girls, Sirius, but I do.” The words were out of his mouth before he could take them back. Peter never really spoke out against Sirius: everyone knew that Sirius could dish it out all well and good, but was terrible at taking it himself. Said Black's scowl deepened. Peter sat up, feeling weirdly defiant.

“I like Mary,” he said, angrily.

“You tell him, Pete,” Remus said from his bed, where he was half paying attention to their argument and half reading a book. Bloody nerd.

“This isn't about you, Peter,” Sirius said, “This goes beyond superficial attraction. It's deeper than that. This is an enmity of the ages.”

“You've only known Lily and Severus since September,” Remus mused, “It's hardly an enmity of the ages, Sirius.”

“Will you butt out Lupin,” Sirius snapped and turned back to Peter, arms folded, “James is not going to be happy.”

Peter scowled. Sirius was right of course, and Peter hated upsetting James, even more perhaps than upsetting Sirius. But he liked Mary MacDonald. And there was nothing they could bloody do about it.

THWUMP.

The pillow landed splat on the back of Sirius's head and his eyes widened in horror as he spun round to glower at Remus. Peter snorted despite himself. Good old Remus.

“Woah woah,” James cried as he entered the dorm room, “Infighting in the ranks.”

“Oh bloody hell,” Remus groaned, “Now there's two of them.”

“I know James,” Sirius said, shaking his head, “And there's worse yet.” Peter rolled his eyes but couldn't help but feel a little nervous: there was no way Sirius would keep this from James.

“What?”

“Peter is sleeping with the enemy.”

Peter blushed at that. That was certainly _not_ how he would put it. They were only eleven after all!

“What!?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, coming over to James and clapping him on the back sadly, “'Fraid so. He's been turned by the enemy: Mary MacDonald has taken him from us and turned him into a traitor in the ranks.”

James paused, looking from Sirius's sad expression to Remus, who looked incredibly done with everything, then over to Peter. Peter bit his lip, feeling painfully on edge. What now?

Then James threw back his head and burst out laughing, much to Sirius's obvious annoyance.

“Oi, Potter, this is serious!”

“No, that's you.”

“Oh, ha ha, very funny.”

“Look this is great,” James said beaming and Peter felt the beginnings of relief. “Don't you see. We have someone on the inside now. We can properly prank the girls if they think they have both Remus _and_ Peter!”

Peter fell back against his pillow with a slump: so much for relief. It looked like he would have to choose between his friends and his... Mary. Why did he always have to choose between his friends and what he wanted? Why?!

“I am _not_ getting involved in this,” Remus said defiantly. Peter sighed. Remus always said that about their pranks, and then he'd end up not only joining in, but also becoming the real mastermind behind the things, making them actually work rather than well... not. (Peter's mind jumped to the Halloween stink-bombs which had determinedly _not_ had the aid of one Remus Lupin).

Peter sat up and almost sighed again at the creeping expectant grins appearing on both James's and Sirius's faces. Bloody idiots.

“Alright then,” he said with a huff, “I'll help.”

One day, he thought with bitterness, he was going to have an impossible choice like this again and he'd not choose his friends.

He scrambled out of bed as James and Sirius started their plots, Remus staring pointedly at his book as the last of his restraint so clearly fell away. He'd be joining them within ten minutes, Peter estimated, as he sat down with his black-haired friends on the floor and got comfy.

True, one day Peter might not choose his friends but – and he thought this with an unusual spark of Gryffindor foolhardiness – it was not this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that last sentence was heavily inspired by Aragorn's speech in Return of the King – fight me Peter Jackson!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, gang – it was strangely satisfying to write for the least loved Marauder and give him a bit more than cowardly traitor vibes. Also, Mary MacDonald is an angel and writing Peter crushing on her was a joy.
> 
> And yes, Remus is the ultimate wing-man. Peter is lucky to have him, as is everyone cos Remus Lupin is just the BEST FRIEND EVER. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has subscribed (I've only just figured out what subscriptions are on ao3 so my bad) and kudos'd and commented and bookmarked and read. This is so much fun. Please comment/ kudos to let me know thoughts, and subscribe if you're not already! x
> 
> UPDATING TOMORROW as that was the day I said last week - and its a juicy Sirius chapter :P


	5. December 1971: SIRIUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOUBLE UPDATE this week – I was sneaky and updated yesterday with a Peter POV chapter that is chronologically before this one. So heads up for that if you haven't read it yet!
> 
> CW: Sirius drops the f-bomb. I'm pretty sure this is the first time a character uses it and of course it had to be Sirius bloomin' Black!!

**December 1971**

_SIRIUS._

Sirius Black was no fool. He knew that something was up with Remus. There were three distinct instances since they'd started school that did not add up about his new friend, and now here they were again, faced with yet another.

Strange instance number one had been that first night when they had sneaked out and Remus had not been with them. James had thought he was being ridiculous thinking that something was up with Remus over it.

And since then, there was the time in early October when he apparently went home to see his mother because she was sick but then Sirius had seen him writing a long letter to her literally right after and the wide beam on Remus's face just did not add up with having a mother so sick that he had to actually _go home_ to see her. James had told him to stop being ridiculous when Sirius had mentioned it to him.

Then in November, Remus was sick himself. This instance was less strange: people, especially students in the close confines of a boarding school often got sick, especially in the colder months of the year. But it was weird how Remus suddenly became so ill that he had to go to the hospital wing and then got suddenly so much better that he could just leave. Also, Madam Pomfrey hadn't let Sirius in when he'd come to see Remus. James had just rolled his eyes when Sirius commented on this and said that was just what Pomfrey was like.

But Sirius knew something was up with Remus. And the weirdness tonight just proved it.

They were _supposed_ to be pranking the girls.

It had all started when Sirius discovered Peter's terrible betrayal: his fraternisation with one Mary MacDonald. James had quickly seen the advantage in the liaison and so the four of them had quickly gone into prank planning mode and, with Remus masterminding the whole thing, Sirius had been absolutely certain that nothing could go wrong. It was undoubtedly going to be the best prank ever.

But then Remus Lupin had bailed at the last minute with no reason, no explanation, no _nothing_.

For sure, he had tried to persuade them to do it on another night, to postpone it till the weekend; but the other three had been just too excited and really none of them could see what Remus's big deal was with the timing.

None of them thought he would actually bail. The prank was his baby, his big idea, his beautiful scheme of powerful mischief. But when they'd headed up to the dorm to fetch him, he was nowhere to be found.

Sirius flung himself out onto his bed, arms folded and feeling very annoyed.

“Well, I guess we're not doing it tonight then,” Peter said from where he stood by the door, having just been to check back in the common room for Remus. But no Lupin was to be found.

“Where is he, James?” Sirius whined at his friend. James shook his head.

“I dunno mate. Library?”

“You've got to believe me now though, haven't you?” Sirius asked, rolling onto his stomach and propping his head up with his hands. “Something's up with him.”

James ruffled his hair, “Yeah, maybe.”

“Like what sort of thing d'you mean Sirius?” Peter asked as he flumped down onto his own bed.

Sirius sat up, leg jiggling, “I dunno. Maybe he's sick or something?”

“That's literally what he said happened last month,” James said with a snort, “He was sick.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, scowling slightly, “Well maybe it's more than just a small cold. Maybe it's something more serious.”

Peter shuffled up to his headboard, “What? Like dragon pox or something?”

“Don't be stupid, Peter. ” Sirius growled, “They wouldn't let him into Hogwarts if it was something that contagious.” Peter flushed but didn't say anything in response. No doubt he realised what a stupid suggestion dragon pox was.

James leant against one of his bedposts with a sigh, “Ignore him Peter. He's in a grump.” Sirius's leg stilled momentarily: so what if he was in a grump? He was perfectly entitled to be annoyed by Remus's repeat disappearances.

“You think?” Peter said nastily and Sirius stuck his middle finger up at him.

“Oi, oi,” James cried, “None of that. It's bad enough that one of us has gone awol. I won't have you being a tosser about it, Black.”

Sirius huffed and rolled back onto his stomach, burying his face into a pillow. “This is so stupid. I'm bored.”

“So we postpone the prank on the girls,” James said, hopping to his feet and rummaging loudly around in his trunk. Sirius looked up, curious despite himself. James let out a triumphant cry and pulled the invisibility cloak out. He turned to Sirius with a bright and promising grin, “We can still embark on a more spontaneous excursion, can we not?”

Good old James, Sirius thought, mirroring his mates wide grin: he was always down for some fun.

Peter coughed, “So what's the new plan for tonight then?”

“Slytherin common room,” James said and Sirius felt his own grin stretch even further: brilliant.

***

The three of them had to wait for quite a while. It was late and not many people would be heading either in or out at this time in the day. Sirius could sense James's waning enthusiasm and was getting deeply worried that he might suggest they give up when there was a tell-tale creak from the hidden entrance to the Slytherin common room.

The stretch of blank wall opened and out came Cissy. Sirius blinked in surprise: what was his cousin doing out of bounds past curfew. Then he almost yelled at the sight of who was following her out, a wry smirk on his stupid smarmy face.

Lucius Malfoy reached ahead to catch Narcissa by the hand. Sirius watched horrified as his sweet older cousin blushed and looked back at the older boy. Then she leant over and kissed him softly on the lips.

James shifted uncomfortably from his left but Sirius ignored him.

What. The. Hell.

Cissy and Andy hated the head boy so what the hell was she doing with him. What the hell was she going around kissing him for?! Sirius made to move forward but found a slightly sweaty hand gripping him tightly from his right.

He turned round to find Peter's wide eyes looking at him nervously. Another hand on his left shoulder had him spinning to the other side. James shook his head firmly then gestured to the entrance that was still open.

Sirius hesitated. He looked over to Cissy and Lucius who were now meandering away down the corridor, speaking in low voices. Then a thought struck him: did Andy know about this? Surely she must what with her and Cissy being so annoyingly close; but something uncomfortable twisted in Sirius's gut as he considered the possibility that this was a secret relationship. Why else would the two blonds be sneaking out at this time?

He came to a sudden decision.

With one last look over to Cissy, Sirius hurried over to the slowly closing entranceway, James and Peter hurrying to keep up, and the three of them slipped inside just as the wall closed back up with a thud.

It was empty inside and Sirius used the opportunity to throw of the invisibility cloak and began to pace. Cissy and Lucius. It didn't make sense. Narcissa despised Malfoy. She thought he was stuck up and stupid and pretentious. She hated him even more than Andy did, which was saying something considering the number of run-ins Andy had had with him before she became a prefect last year.

“Sirius, mate,” James said, still hidden under the cloak, “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Sirius waved him off then looked around the common room for the Slytherin girls' staircase. He needed to speak to Andy right now. He marched over to the stairs but a hand grabbed him by the collar.

“Don't be thick,” James hissed, “We're doing the common room.”

“Get off me James,” Sirius whined and the two boys briefly tussled, James appearing from beneath the cloak to grip him in a headlock.

“Don't. Be. Stupid.” James bit out, panting.

“You're stupid,” Sirius retorted, “Stink-bombing their common room is a stupid prank and you know it.”

James let go of him and Sirius straightened up to see a hurt expression on his face. James raised a hand to his chest, “Are you insulting my pranking capabilities.”

“Hard to insult something that doesn't exist,” Sirius bit out, not quite meaning what he said. James's eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Take that back.”

“No.”

“Take it back.”

“No,” Sirius folded his arms, “This prank is stupid because when the bombs do go off, we won't get to see it and that's stupid!”

“Well I didn't see you coming up with any better ideas,” James hissed. Sirius was about to retort when Peter's head made a sudden appearance, floating above the ground, the rest of his body still safely underneath the cloak.

“Can you two stop it?” He hissed, “Let's put the stink-bombs down and get out before someone comes down, or Narcissa and Malfoy get back.”

“I can't believe she kissed him!” Sirius raged, and he stormed out of James's grip and over to the stairs up to the girls' dormitories.

“No, Sirius, wait!” James cried but it was too late. The second Sirius's foot landed on the bottom step, a loud wailing started and the stairs fell away beneath him.

“What the - ” Sirius began before he was falling down, landing in a lump at the foot of what was now a smooth stone slide. “Bloody hell!”

The wailing continued and then there was the tell-tale sounds of doors slamming above them.

“Quick,” Peter hissed, “Get back under here!”

James and Sirius didn't need telling twice. They hurried across to Peter's floating head and James quickly flung the cloak back over the three of them. And only just in time.

The first person to appear was Andromeda Black, who came sliding down the slide with a loud and raucous laugh and was followed by a whole herd of older Slytherin girls. Then the Slytherin boys started to appear and soon enough the green common room was full of students.

Sirius, James and Peter were huddled by the fireplace having been unable to reach the exit before their path was blocked. They were crammed together, terrified that someone would accidentally hit into them or something.

“What's all this?”

The voice was a smarmy drawl and Sirius clenched his fist when he saw Malfoy re-enter the common room, Cissy standing pale by his side.

“Cissy, have you been sneaking out?” Andy called across to her younger sister and the blonde Black flushed and started to stammer out a response, but then Malfoy cut across.

“What's it to you, Black?”

Andy flushed, wand drawn in an instance. Yes, Sirius thought: this was more like what he expected from his older cousins.

“That's my bloody sister, Malfoy,” she hissed, “You back out of it, git.”

The common room, which had got quite noisy with all the students, now went deadly silent as everyone looked from Andromeda Black to Lucius Malfoy, the very air tensing. Destroy him, Andy, Sirius thought desperately. He's a nasty tosser.

“Don't make me put you in detention, Black,” Malfoy drawled, his eyes flashing, “I'll do it.”

“Oh stop it,” Cissy shouted, her pale fingers clenched very tightly, “You don't have to be such a prick, Lucius.”

Malfoy looked gobsmacked. He floundered, “Narcissa... I...”

But she pushed past him, heading to the stairs-turned-slide up to the Slytherin girls' dorms. Andy stared at her sister, a look of slowly dawning realisation in her dark eyes. Cissy flicked her wand and the stone slide turned back into stairs which she hurried up. Andy turned on Malfoy.

“What the hell did you do to my sister Malfoy?”

Sirius felt sick as Malfoy preened, nasty glint in his eyes: “Nothing she didn't want.”

“YOU LYING BASTARD!”

Students dived out of the way as Andy wielded her wand, red light flashing across the common room towards the head boy. He darted out of the way and suddenly the two students were fiercely duelling.

“Bloody hell,” James muttered and Sirius glanced over to see his eyes were like saucers as he watched Sirius's cousin.

“Really, Potter,” Sirius muttered, “Now?”

And then, in the confusion, he seized the opportunity, darting out from under the cloak and away from the fire.

“Sirius!”

“Black, get back here!”

He ignored his two still hidden friends and dived under a chair as one of Andy's particularly nasty jinxes soared above his head. Malfoy swore and quickly retaliated. Andy must've let her guard slip because one minute she was fine and the next, a spell hit her right in the chest. She went rigid, back straight and limbs clamped to her side.

Malfoy laughed, bitterly. “You'll have to do better than that to beat me, Black,” he said, though he himself was clearly out of breath. How dare he speak to Sirius's cousin like that? Sirius saw red.

He got to his feet, appearing directly in front of the head boy with his fist raised.

“Don't you talk to my cousin like that,” he hissed, and punched Lucius Malfoy right on the nose. There was a loud crack and then blood spilled from the git's face. Sirius felt a brief flash of triumph before his hand burst into bright, vibrant agony.

“Bloody fucking balls,” he yelped. And then the world fell into pandemonium.

***

McGonagall's nostrils were flared which Sirius knew by now meant nothing good. She loomed over her desk, staring down at the three of them with barely contained rage.

“You punched the head boy in the face and broke his nose.”

“Good,” Sirius said and beside him both James and Peter groaned.

“Detention for all of you, until the end of term,” McGonagall said coldly, “And fifty points from Gryffindor.”

James let out a gasp of disbelief at this but Sirius didn't care: it had been worth it. Any and all punishment that McGonagall could throw at them was worth it for the satisfying crack as Malfoy's nose broke: that stupid arrogant git.

“And I'll be writing home to each of your parents,” McGonagall added. Sirius felt his heart drop right down to his stomach. She couldn't.

“Professor,” he rasped, shocked to his very core, “Please.”

“Oh, so you do have some manners then, Black,” McGonagall said, eyebrows raised. “I'm glad to see something forces you to think on your actions.”

“But professor, you don't understand,” Sirius gasped, “Please don't. My mum will _kill_ me, really.”

“Then I will gladly teach your dead corpse in the new year,” McGonagall said drily, “Now get out of my office, all three of you. Notes with the details of your detentions will find you before the end of the day.”

James and Peter got to their feet and Sirius slowly followed, his head pounding loudly as he stumbled after them. There was no doubt about it: Walburga Black was going to kill him.

He trailed after James and Peter down the corridor when a long-fingered hand reached out from an alcove and pulled him in. Scratch that about his mother killing him, he thought morosely as he stared up at the wide angry eyes of his cousin: Cissy would undoubtedly be doing it herself.

“'Morning Cissy,” he muttered, looking away from her intense gaze.

“Muggle brawling,” she hissed.

“He deserved it.”

“Ugh, I can't believe this, Sirius,” she cried, “I get that you're shocked, you and Andy both, but seriously. Why would you do that? Why?”

Sirius blinked and looked up to see his cousin looking deeply distressed and unhappy. He looked about. Where was Andy? She must've seen his confused gaze because she let out a long sigh, and slumped down against the wall, head resting back as she closed her eyes, brows creased.

“She's not talking to me, Sirius.”

“Why didn't you tell her?” He asked quietly, “I get not telling me. I'm your stupid little cousin who punches head boys.”

Cissy smiled reluctantly and opened her eyes to peer down at Sirius, “Don't be so hard on yourself, Sirius. You're not that little.”

Sirius snorted at the implication. He wasn't _that_ stupid either.

“So? Andy?”

“Ugh,” Cissy said and hit her head back against the wall, “I dunno Sirius. It's all so confusing anyway, my feelings for Lucius.”

Sirius made a retching noise, “It's not that confusing, Cissy. Clearly you've lost your mind.”

She laughed and sighed, “But bloody hell it feels like that sometimes.” She stood up straight, “Andy wouldn't get it.”

“You didn't give her the chance to get it,” Sirius retorted and Cissy slumped back down again, frowning at him.

“You really remind me of Regulus sometimes.”

Sirius blinked: what the hell? That was a bit out of the blue. She must've noticed his confusion because she quickly explained.

“I wrote to him about it and that's sort of what he said.”

Sirius folded his arms, “You told Regulus but not me or Andy! He's not even at Hogwarts. He's only ten!”

“He'll be eleven in January,” Cissy reminded him but they both knew that wasn't really the point. “Look, he was an objective perspective. Someone away from it all.”

Sirius rubbed his face. “I'm never not going to think Malfoy is a smarmy git.”

“You and me both,” Cissy said quietly and Sirius gave her a look. What the hell was up with his cousin? She looked down, blushing, “But love, oh Sirius, I hope one day you experience something like this. It's... It's everything.”

Her eyes were wide and soft. Sirius looked away, very unsure and uncomfortable. He was only twelve for crying out loud! What was he supposed to say to that?!

“You should speak to Andy,” he said eventually, “You two need to make up.”

Cissy let out a long groan but nodded. “Yeah. I will. I don't think I could ever survive not speaking to her, hot-headed idiot though she is.”

“And can you promise me one more thing,” Sirius added. Cissy nodded and he took a breath, “Please, never kiss that git in front of me ever again.”

Cissy laughed then grimaced, looking away and twiddling with her hair absently. “We'll see, Sirius. We'll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to do a double update this week because the world is awful rn and we all need a bit more of Sirius Black punching Lucius Malfoy in the face so. There we go. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting and kudosing, and please do subscribe if you're not already signed up – my update schedule is not fine-tuned yet. It'll usually be on Fridays I think but it could also possibly be Thursday or even Saturday so.
> 
> Till next time xo


	6. January 1972: REMUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, angsty, Remus. But is that a list describing this chapter or are they descriptors for our fave werewolf boi at age eleven?
> 
> CW: mentions of child abuse (three guesses who)

**January 1972**

_REMUS._

The night before New Year's Eve was the full moon and it had been a tough one. Remus was getting too big for the cellar and they all knew it. The three of them had brought in the new year huddled together in his bed, his father reading to him to take his mind off the lingering pain from his transformation whilst his mother stroked his hair soothingly.

And now he sat on the train back to Hogwarts, the window rattling slightly as he tried to rest his head against it, and his three friends laughing raucously at something funny Peter had said. He smiled, the familiar ache of homesickness easing away to nothing at the sight of James, Sirius and Peter sitting about the compartment, plotting their next prank.

“As long as Remus doesn't bail on us of course,” Sirius added after going over a particularly hair-brained scheme for turning the entire student's clothes a bright Gryffindor red; a scheme which Remus had been absently plotting the pragmatics for until his black-haired friend's pointed comment.

He shifted uncomfortably. He knew that Sirius in particular was deeply upset by his disappearance that night, but what could he say?

“Oh leave it, Sirius,” James said with an eye roll, “We managed to have an entertaining enough night without pranking Evans and friends.”

“I'm never going to forget that moment,” Peter said dreamily, “Malfoy's nose cracking. It was amazing.”

Sirius smirked lazily, his attention turning away from Remus, “Yeah. It was pretty amazing.”

Then the boy shifted and winced in pain. Remus frowned but he seemed to be the only one who had noticed the movement. What was wrong with Sirius? Was he in some sort of pain? Sirius noticed his concerned gaze and looked hurriedly away, stretching.

“So, this term has to be bigger and better than last year.” He said, “We need a prank that truly blows people's minds.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno,” Sirius said and Remus rolled his eyes.

Typical Sirius: wanting to do things but rarely coming up with his own ideas. He wasn't one for the details either, which Remus knew were the most important part. It was all very well having a vague idea, a moment you wanted to happen, but you needed to think it through - how were they going to dye all the clothes of every Hogwarts student red? Where would they get all the dye from? And how would they avoid getting caught, potentially quite literally, red-handed?

“Well if you're not going to come up with ideas Sirius,” Remus sighed, “You can hardly expect the three of us too.”

Sirius visibly bristled, turning on Remus angrily, “Better than teasing us with your cooperation then bailing at the last minute.”

Remus looked away. Why had he spoken? He hardly had a leg to stand on in an argument about prank involvement. He knew Sirius had been really looking forward to pranking the girls that time and there was just no reasonable explanation he could give for bailing. He'd considered saying he was sick again but felt that they had hardly bought that excuse the first time, and as for saying he had to go home to see his sick mother – that felt deeply wrong, almost like he was tempting fate with it.

And even if it was irrational, there was no way Remus was going to risk his mother, not unless he really had to. Not unless it meant the difference between having friends and total rejection. His mother being seriously sick was the last resort lie he really didn't want to use.

“Alright, Black,” James said, elbowing his friend, “That's enough.”

“How about we get something to eat?” Peter suggested and James nodded.

“Good idea, Pete,” he said and turned to Sirius and Remus, “You two want anything?”

Remus shook his head. Sirius folded his arms and looked away, staring intensely out of the window opposite Remus. James sighed.

“C'mon then Pete.”

And the two left the compartment, an uncomfortable tension remaining in the air. Sirius cleared his throat and Remus met his gaze.

“What.”

“Where did you go, Remus?”

Remus was slightly thrown off by the softness in the other boy's tone. He blinked and looked away, his eyes coming to rest on Sirius's collar. He frowned: there was the beginning of an ugly red scar that seemed to lead down the other boy's arm. Sirius seemed to notice his gaze because he hastily pulled his shirt up and over it, glaring at Remus defiantly.

“Well?”

“Sirius, where'd you get that scar on your collar?”

“No,” Sirius said, folding his arms, “I asked first. Where'd you go last term? Why'd you bail on us?”

Remus laughed, but there was nothing particularly funny. He suddenly realised that both he and Sirius were both hiding things from the group, and he didn't know what to do with this information.

“I'll tell you if you tell me where you got that scar.”

Sirius shifted and there was a long pause which panicked Remus somewhat: what if Sirius told him and then Remus would have to tell him that he was a werewolf. Whatever was going on with Sirius, it couldn't possibly be as bad as lycanthropy, could it? And then what? Then Sirius would hate him and he'd lose all his friends. Remus waited with baited breath but eventually Sirius moved to shake his head.

“It's nothing.”

“Well then,” Remus said and the compartment dissolved into an uncomfortable silence once more.

Finally, James and Peter returned, laden with sweets and chocolates. The merry chatter of the other two boys partly blew away the tension between he and Sirius, but it still felt quiet without Sirius's loud barking laughter, the long haired boy sitting silently, gloomily staring out of the window as the train rattled onwards.

***

They ate dinner in much the same form as they'd been on the train: Remus, quiet as usual; and Sirius, quiet as unusual. The other two bravely maintained the conversation with jokes and japes though James did occasionally pause to glower at Sirius, nudging him to talk and plan with him, without result. Then they'd spent the rest of the evening in the common room in much the same way before heading to bed.

And now here Remus was, unable to sleep. He wasn't sure if it was worry about Sirius finding out the truth or worry about Sirius and that terrible scar that was keeping him up. Maybe both.

He sighed, frustrated at the painful elusiveness of sleep. Then he rolled over and almost screamed. Sirius Black was standing over him, the curtains flung wide and starlight slipping in from the window.

Without hesitation, Sirius clambered on top of his blanket and sat facing him from the other end of the bed. Remus sat up slowly and watched as Sirius drew the curtains and cast a silencing charm so they wouldn't be overheard. This was something Sirius would often do with James when they intended to plan pranks they thought Remus might not like: namely the ones directed against Lily and the other girls.

But tonight Sirius Black was sitting on his bed, not James's, wanting a private conversation with him, not James. Remus swallowed, nervous.

“Tell me what's going on with you Remus,” Sirius said. “Please.”

Remus shook his head jerkily. “No.”

Sirius sighed then started unbuttoning his shirt. Remus watched as the red scar he'd seen on Sirius's collar slowly grew, stretching away down the right side of his body.

“Courtesy of my mother.”

Remus suddenly felt very _very_ cold. Sirius's mother did _that_ to him. Remus thought of his own sweet mother and then looked at the stony coldness in the grey eyes before him. His own eyes began to prickle and he sniffed harshly: he wasn't going to cry. No way. That wouldn't be fair on Sirius.

Eventually he found a word. “Why?”

“I told her where she could shove her pure-blood bigoted politics.”

“Sirius...”

That was two words he'd managed to say now and Remus floundered for something more. He should comfort him. He should criticise Mrs Black or maybe not criticise her. What did Sirius need? How could he comfort him? How could he prevent this happening again?

But it was Sirius who spoke next, his eyes down as he hastily re-buttoned his pyjama shirt.

“So now you tell me what's going on with you, Remus.” He looked up as his fingers slid the last button back into place, “Fair's fair.”

“I can't.”

The second Remus said it, he hated himself for it. Sirius looked so hurt. Remus felt his own jaw wobble and then suddenly the two boys were hugging as Remus broke into great racking sobs. This wasn't right. He should be comforting Sirius after what the boy had just told him, not the other way round.

“Whatever it is Remus,” Sirius murmured into his ear, “It can't be worse than my mother. You can trust me, Remus. I won't tell. Please, I just need to know.” He sounded so desperate.

Remus pulled back, looked into those grey eyes and opened his mouth.

And lied.

“My mother's sick. Really sick. It's bad.”

Sirius blinked in confusion and Remus nodded. This was it: the serious lie; the one that was supposed to hold against all inquiries, to protect him from their friendly curiosity. No one wanted to know about a sick mother. It was hard and horrible and heart-breaking and Remus hated himself for it. But this lie would hold. This lie would protect him.

“Remus, I'm sorry,” Sirius said and leant back, “I didn't... Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry.” His eyes were wide and horrified now, “I mean, I've been awful to you and all this time... bloody hell, Remus... that's...” He trailed off and Remus hated himself more than anything in that moment.

He was despicable and unworthy of this brave and brilliant boy before him. He didn't deserve his friendship. He barely deserved to be in the same room as him, share the same air. Remus got up quickly, unable to face those wide and honest eyes, and swung himself out of bed and away.

He had no idea where he was going, only that he needed to get away.

“Remus...” Sirius cried but he didn't follow. “Remus, I'm sorry.”

Remus was shaking as he reached for the dormitory door, and then he was gone.

***

He didn't return to the dorm till morning, when he could be certain that Sirius had gone back to bed. He crept in and hastily got changed before heading out again. What now? Remus took a shaky breath and hurried down to an early breakfast.

He was almost finished when the others came in. Sirius saw him and made a beeline straight over to him. Remus took a steadying breath. He could do this. It was a lie that was for their own good to. It was better this way.

Sirius sat down next to him. “Morning – you didn't come back last night, did you?”

Remus shook his head, “I had Charms to do.”

Sirius nodded. “Remus, I'm sorry.”

“It's alright,” Remus said quickly, “I wanted to keep it close to my chest but I guess I've been bailing on you all a lot. It's good you know.” He gave a weak smile.

“Er, what do we know?” James asked, looking between Sirius and Remus with a frown.

“I just told Sirius that I was missing a lot last term because, well, my mother's sick. I go home to visit her about once a month. It's bad.” He looked down. Why did lying come so easy? He looked back up.

James's eyes had widened and he put down his pumpkin juice heavily. “I'm so sorry, mate.”

“Yeah, Remus,” Peter added, “That's awful. So sorry mate.”

Remus stared pointedly at his hand, a horrible clenching in his gut making him feel a bit queasy. Who knew lying about your mother to your best friends would be so hard? Fortunately they must've thought he was just sad about his mum, rather than racked with guilt.

He wanted to move the conversation away from this right now, so he floundered for a moment before catching a glance of Lily Evans and her friends entering the Great Hall. He turned to James with a smile.

“Aren't we still due a giant prank on the girls?”

James grinned, “You bet we are.”

“Oh yes,” Sirius chuckled, slapping Remus heavily on the arm; “We're back!”

Remus only felt mildly guilty. Lily _was_ his friend and he got on with her surprisingly well all things considered, but if pranking her and her friends made Sirius, James and Peter happy, then pranking her it was. It was hard to feel guilty about it when his best mates were laughing around him.

***

Of course, it was a different matter entirely when later he was sat with just Lily, in the library, as she groaned about James. Remus bit his tongue. The things she was complaining about were justified, he'd be the first to admit, but they were hardly terrible things. James was much better than Sirius like that, but something about the brown-skinned boy had really got under her skin.

Finally she took a breath, looking at Remus sheepishly, “Sorry, I know he's your mate. It's just, y'know how sometimes you just have to rant.” She sighed. “I'm probably in a mood because my sister is still refusing to talk to me.”

Remus blinked: that was new. He put his quill down and looked over to her.

“What happened with your sister?”

“Oh it's just...” she trailed off and sighed, “We're muggle and she didn't get a Hogwarts letter.”

“Oh,” Remus said, “That sucks.”

Lily nodded, “Yeah, I'm sure it does, but... it doesn't help that she's being such a...” she trailed off, clearly struggling for a decent descriptor.

“Mean bean?” Remus suggested and Lily looked at him for a moment, eyes wide. Then she burst out laughing.

“Yeah,” she snorted, “Mean bean. We'll go with that.”

She wiped at her face then scrunched her nose and looked sad again. Remus bit his lip: what could he say to cheer her up? He didn't have any siblings, not like Sirius and Peter, so he didn't really know what to say.

“It just – it sucks, y'know,” Lily went on, “For me. We were so close when were younger and now she's just - ” Lily waved her hands about, clearly frustrated beyond words. Her shoulders dropped suddenly and she groaned, “She can barely look at me.”

“It sounds like she's jealous,” Remus said softly. “I'm sure she'll come round. Just give it time.”

Lily nodded and smiled sadly at him, “You really are a wise old man in the body of a scrawny kid, aren't you?”

Remus was affronted, “Excuse me?”

Lily giggled, “That's what Marlene says.”

“Oh does she?” Remus shook his head but then Lily nudged him gently on the shoulder.

“That's your appeal, Lupin,” she said smiling, her eyes intent on him, “It's part of the reason why I like you.”

Feeling distinctly uncomfortable, Remus looked away. Lily would _not_ be saying this if she knew what he and the boys were planning. Their prank was targeted at the Gryffindor first year girls specifically so he supposed, on the bright side, he'd be inadvertently getting Marlene back for calling him an old man.

He glanced back up to see that Lily was still smiling at him, eyes just as intense as before. He felt a little flustered so looked away again.

Oh boy, she was _really_ going to kill him after their prank, wasn't she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you have to wait to find out what the prank is on the girls! This is too much power for one person and yet I can't help the evil cackling laughter.
> 
> Subscribe to keep up to date and get the next chapter as soon as I post it (no longer than a week), and thank you for reading, bookmarking, kudosing, commenting and being such all-round lovely readers xo


	7. January 1972: LILY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm going to try updating twice a week for awhile: Monday or Tuesday, then Friday as well. This might not be long-term because I get a little stressed with updating and much prefer spending my time writing rather than fretting over posting (which I do – irrational, I know – but there we go). But I'm going to try it out and see if I can deal with it cos people have been so nice so far.
> 
> Anyway: this chapter – it's Lily freakin' Evans! Whoop whoop – now for the ladies to get some word-time :P

**January 1972**

_LILY._

James Potter was a total and complete tosser. This Lily knew for a fact. Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were also total tossers, but James was worse. And right now, with their dormitory looking the way it did, Lily was struggling to remember why she and her friends bothered even hanging out with Remus, his old man wisdom be damned.

Marlene McKinnon rolled into the room and swore. Lily looked down at her friend, who was sat in her wheelchair with a look of pure horror on her usually merry brown face; then she sighed.

“And you said they weren't that bad.”

Marlene looked up at her and huffed, “I said they _couldn't_ be that bad, not that they actually _weren't_ that bad.”

“Well,” Lily said, taking a tentative step into the room. “What d'you say now?”

Marlene wheeled herself forwards and looked up at the ceiling where all - literally _all_ \- of their dormitory furniture was now sat, upside down and just out of reach. “I say we kill them.”

Lily didn't disagree with her, instead stepping forwards herself to reach up and touch the top of the nearest four-poster bed which was hanging perfectly down from the ceiling near her. She tilted her head upside down and sighed: looking from this angle made their dorm look perfectly normal. It was only when she righted her head that it looked bad: perfectly upside down. That was what the boys had made their dorm: perfectly topsy turvy.

“Oi, Marlene, I was...” The voice behind them trailed off, horrified.

Lily and Marlene turned to see Mary MacDonald standing in the doorway, mouth ajar. She took a breath.

“That bastard,” the usually sweet-natured girl hissed, and she turned on her heel, disappearing back down the stairs. Lily and Marlene exchanged a worried look before hurrying after their usually good-natured friend.

As soon as the wheels of Marlene's chair touched the stone steps down to the common room, they changed into a ramp where the magically enchanted wheels touched them but then returned to their original form when they weren't being touched by it. This allowed Lily to use the steps in the leg-reliant way behind her whilst Marlene's chair rolled easily downwards.

At the bottom they looked around but Mary was nowhere to be seen. Then there was a loud crash from the boys' stairs.

“Um guys. Why did Mary just run up to the boys dorm with a look of unhinged rage on her face?”

Dorcas Meadowes appeared from over the back of the nearest sofa with a worried look on her round face. Lily sighed. They had only just had breakfast and already she could tell that this was going to be one of _those_ days. Stupid bloody Potter.

A few moments passed and then three boys came sprinting down the stairs from the boys' dorm, all cackling hysterically. Lily went over to them, furious beyond belief, her hands planted firmly on her hips.

“And _what_ exactly have you done to our dormitory?”

Potter looked up at her from where he was bent double over Black's shoulder. She glared at him then turned to the third boy. At least Remus had the decency to look a little sheepish.

“Uh, hi Lily,” he said in a small voice.

“I'll deal with you later,” she hissed, eyes narrowed, before turning to the other two. “You're going to spell our room back to how it's supposed to be right now, Potter!”

Potter's eyes widened in false innocence, “I don't know what you're talking about Evans.” He said, ruining the effect by snorting at the end. Black took over.

“Look Evans,” he said, “There's no way we could get up there. You've seen what happens to the steps when a boy tries to get up.”

Lily was almost shaking with rage. The insolence! Did they think she was stupid? How dare they?! Remus stepped forward then, still looking slightly pink in the cheeks.

“How about we tell you the spell to undo it in exchange for you getting Mary to, er...” He glanced over to his two friends who completely broke down into renewed laughter. Lily glowered at him.

“Tell me the spell, Lupin,” she hissed. He blinked and opened his mouth as though to tell her. Then he stopped and glanced back to the stairs to the boys' dorms. “It's just that Mary was really _really_ cross with Pete and I... er... I...”

“What did Mary do?” Marlene asked, she and Dorcas coming over slowly. Finally, Lily thought with a huff: some back-up. Was she the only one willing to stand up to Potter and Black? Even Remus rarely went against them. It wasn't fair!

Remus gave a half glance to his two friends, both of whom were still in fits of laughter then turned to address Marlene. But before he could get the words out there was a loud clatter and Mary came marching down the stairs, an unwilling Peter dragged behind her.

“This is what happens to boys who betray me,” she said calmly and dumped him at the feet of his friends.

“Bloody hell, Mary,” Marlene said, her voice full of awe and admiration. Lily blinked: Mary was brilliant at transfiguration but still, this was quite something.

Pettigrew's hair _had_ been blond and straight. It was now a vivid sparkly pink. His eyebrows and eyelashes matched.

“I'm sorry, Mary,” Peter moaned, desperate, “They made me!”

“Traitor,” Black cried then collapsed into a renewed fit of giggles. Even Remus was smirking.

“And in case you didn't get the message,” Mary added, arms crossed, “This means we're finished, Pettigrew.”

And with that she stormed off, out of the portrait hole and away. Lily looked down her nose at the four idiots before hurrying after her friend. Mary had really liked Peter. However angry and confident she might seem, Lily knew that Mary had been really hurt by Peter's actions. And Lily hated to see her friends hurt.

***

She eventually found Mary outside, sobbing underneath a tree by the lake. Lily hurried over, taking off her own cloak so that her friend wouldn't be so cold in the icy winter air. Although the snow from earlier in the week had mostly melted and Mary sat on a clear patch of grass, it was still too cold to be out for too long.

“Thanks Lils,” Mary sniffed and wiped hastily at her eyes. She looked about, “Where are Marlene and Dorcas?”

“They went to McGonagall,” Lily explained, “Even Remus refused to tell us how to undo it!”

“Stupid Lupin,” Mary huffed with a sly look at Lily, “But d'you still like him like that?”

Lily huffed and sat down next to her friend, “No way. If he can't even stand up to his friends...” She trailed off. Mary was staring out sadly across the lake. “Peter's an idiot too.”

“Yeah.” She sniffed, “All boys are idiots.”

“Yeah, they are,” Lily said, and wrapped an arm over Mary's shoulder, “Marlene says we should kill them and I'd be down if you wanted to.” Mary laughed, a watery sound, but it made Lily feel like she wasn't being completely useless in her attempts to comfort her friend.

“I just...” Mary began and Lily gave her an encouraging squeeze.

“Yeah?”

“My sister's wedding is coming up and even though I'm only a kid, she said I could have a plus one and,” Mary sighed, “I was going to take Peter but...”

“But he's proven himself to be a total tosser,” Lily said and Mary nodded sadly.

“I don't know what to do,” she admitted after a long silence, “He seemed so sweet and everything.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” Lily said, full of the self-assured wisdom only an eleven year old possessed. Mary nodded and leant against her friend. Lily smiled: she liked feeling she was being helpful, like she was someone her friends could rely on.

“Lily,” Mary said after a long minute of silence, “Do _you_ want to be my plus one for the wedding?”

Lily froze, her heart pounding in her chest. This was a big deal. Her friend, her _best_ friend, wanted her to be there for something so important. She swallowed and nodded.

“Yeah, definitely.” She paused, “I'll have to write to my parents to check but I bet they'll say yes. They let Tuney go on a school trip to France for the week so they really can't say no. When is it?”

“This summer,” Mary said and leant back, beaming, “It'll be so much fun. I can't believe my sister is getting married though. It's crazy.”

“Is she a lot older?”

“Yeah, almost twenty-two!” And Mary went off, talking excitedly about her family and Lily listened, happy now that her friend seemed so much happier too, the exploits of Peter Pettigrew and friends firmly forgotten. For now.

***

McGonagall herself fixed their dormitory and put all four of the pranksters in detention. And what was even better was that she didn't turn Peter's hair back to normal for a whole day! The four Gryffindor girls were convinced that McGonagall was the coolest person ever, even if she was slightly terrifying.

But nothing good lasts forever.

And, like it often was, the end of Lily's happy streak was down to a boy. Not Potter or friends this time, but one of her own friends: Severus Snape.

Things had been tough ever since he was sorted into Slytherin, or as he put it, ever since she was sorted into Gryffindor. But though Lily would never admit it to Severus, she was secretly really _really_ pleased to be in Gryffindor. She wouldn't have met Mary or Marlene or Dorcas if she'd been put in Slytherin, and she doubted that Slytherin could have anyone that could even begin to live up to how cool her Gryffindor friends were.

Apart from Sev of course.

Although not right now. He was being like _that_ again. All uptight and snobbish, which was a bit rich really seeing as he was so much poorer than she was anyway. But that wasn't what he was being snobbish about.

Lily sighed: it was the blood stuff again. Both she and Mary were muggle-born, and both she and Mary were really struggling to figure out this new prejudice against them for not having parents who were magic. It was trying, to say the least.

Mary had cried all night two weeks into term when she realised what was happening. Lily hadn't understood at that point, but Mary had looked at her with unusual venom and joined their hands together: her own pale skin against Mary's rich black; and said “of course it'll take _you_ longer to figure this out.”

That was right at the beginning of the year though, and the two girls had quickly made up, especially when Lily realised what Mary had been talking about. _That_ had led to some uncomfortable conversations, but here at Hogwarts, and both being muggle-born, Lily and Mary had quickly bonded in the face of their shared adversity.

“It's different with you though Lily,” Sev whispered to her in the present.

They were sat in the library, studying near the back where it was quieter. Since she had stopped talking to Remus after the dormitory incident and with her other friends not quite getting her love of the library, Lily was now regularly studying with Severus on Wednesday evenings.

“You don't make any sense,” Lily replied for what felt like the millionth time. It was true though: Severus would say that having magical parents _was_ important because it meant you grew up with it and it was in your blood (whatever _that_ meant), but then when she would ask about herself, he would instantly explain how she was the anomaly that proved the rule or some such nonsense.

But Sev was her first real friend. He was the first person to accept her for who she was: a witch; and she was certain that she would always love him for that, no matter how confusing things got at school.

“Look,” he hissed angrily, “It's quite simple. Having magical blood means you're more likely to not only be magic yourself, but also to be better at it. It's not exact though, and you prove that. Despite not having magic in your blood, despite being muggle-born, you're one of the best witches in our year. D'you see?”

“Uh, Sev,” Lily said with a sigh, returning her gaze back to her Transfiguration essay, “I honestly don't care. Can't you just say I'm the best witch without bringing up the fact that I'm muggle-born? Seriously. It's annoying.”

Sev huffed but said no more on it, and that would have been that were it not for the appearance of Sev's dorm mate, Xander Mulciber.

Lily looked up suddenly, that strange feeling of being watched prickling the hair on her neck. A heavy set boy with porky-white skin and round blue eyes was staring at her. Mulciber gave her a wide, joyless smile and she shivered despite herself. She'd seen him around before of course, but they'd never spoken yet.

Sev looked up to but he didn't shiver. Instead he beamed and beckoned the boy over.

“Xander, come join us,” he said and Mulciber didn't hesitate, sitting down at the table right next to Lily and opposite Sev. Lily edged her chair away from him. He was creepy and she didn't like him one bit.

“I hear MacDonald and Pettigrew broke up,” Mulciber said, leaning in too close to Lily than was entirely necessary. Sev didn't seem to notice, instead laughing.

“Yeah, they did,” he said, “After Potter and Black put all the furniture in the girls' dormitory on the ceiling. Mary was so angry she turned Pettigrew's hair bright pink.”

“Really,” Mulciber said with a half glance towards Sev, before returning his gaze back to Lily. She shifted uncomfortably, half a mind to just pack up and leave already. But the braver side of her, the Gryffindor part she thought, wasn't about to run away, no matter how creepy Mulciber might seem.

“Boys can't get up to the girl's dorms in Slytherin,” he leered, “I should know.”

Lily grimaced but Sev laughed, “You're a dog, Xander,” he said jovially. Lily stared at Sev, appalled, and he had the good sense to look a little abashed.

“Well.” Mulciber said, cocking his head to one side as he considered Lily, “How'd they do it?”

“It doesn't matter how they did it,” Lily retorted, not wanting to admit that she didn't actually know, “What's important is that they won't be doing it again.”

Mulciber threw back his head and laughed, but again, like his smile, there was no humour in it. Lily really _really_ didn't like him. He stopped laughing, too abruptly for comfort in Lily's opinion, and sighed, still staring unblinking at Lily.

“So, MacDonald turned Pettigrew's hair pink,” he said with a smirk, “Who'd have thought she'd be so... _spirited_ like that.” His lip curled and Lily felt sick. She looked over to Sev. Surely he'd say something at such a loaded comment about her friend, but he just looked fixedly down at his parchment. Great, she thought bitterly, she'd have to deal with this herself.

“Keep away from Mary,” she said, her voice shaking slightly. “Or it won't be her turning your hair pink that you'll have to worry about. It'll be me, jinxing your fat nose off.” She got to her feet abruptly, looking over to see what Sev would do. He was still staring down at his parchment. Coward, Lily thought angrily.

She gathered up her things but as she was about to brush past Mulciber on her way out, he grabbed her tightly by the wrist.

“Get off me,” she hissed, reaching for her wand. He smirked then let go with a dark chuckle.

“Seems it's not just MacDonald who's spirited,” he said, tilting back slightly on his chair, “Tell me, is it all Gryffindor girls who are like that, or just the ones like you?”

_Ones like you._

He means _muggle-born_ , Lily thought, feeling very cold all of a sudden. She looked over to Sev but he said nothing. Bloody coward.

So she drew her wand and pointed it directly into Mulciber's slimy little face.

***

“Duelling in the library, Ms Evans, of all things!” McGonagall's lips were so thin that Lily worried they might completely disappear.

Lily folded her arms, her ears still ringing from Mulciber's comment: _ones like you._ But it was Sev's silence that had really hurt her. She kept her gaze down, staring intently at the wooden floorboards of McGonagall's office. The fire crackled in the grate by the desk.

“It's hardly duelling if the other person doesn't get a jinx in,” Lily muttered, sullen and annoyed, “For all his talk, he's a terrible wizard.”

She glanced up and for the briefest of moments thought she saw McGonagall's lip quirk. But she must've imagined it because the next second her head of house looked even angrier than before.

“Ten points from Gryffindor, Ms Evans,” McGonagall said, holding her hand up to prevent Lily's remonstrance, “And your detention will be spent with Madam Pince in the library, reorganising the books.”

Lily glowered, but it could've been worse. After all, she liked the library, even if Pince was undoubtedly going to be eternally mad at her for endangering her precious books with her jinxes.

“You may go now, Ms Evans,” McGonagall said firmly and Lily got to her feet. At the door she paused, the words of Mulciber ringing soundly through her head: _ones like you._

“Professor,” she said and McGonagall looked up at her, a frown on her face.

“What is it?”

“With magic,” she said slowly, “Does it matter if your parents aren't, well, magic?”

The strangest look passed over McGonagall's usually stern face. For a long moment she looked sad, terribly terribly sad. Then a fierceness returned to her gaze and she fixed Lily with the hardest of stares.

“Now listen here Ms Evans,” she said firmly, “Some people's parents are magic, and their parents before them and so on. And some people have one parent who is magic and one who isn't. And some people have parents who aren't magical at all, who we call -”

“Muggles,” Lily said quietly. McGonagall nodded and when she next spoke, her voice was soft and gentle.

“Lily, who told you that it mattered? Is that why you jinxed that Slytherin boy?”

Lily nodded and realised, with horror, that she was very close to bursting into tears. She held it back, but only for a moment, the stubborn tear managing to slip out and slide down her cheek.

“Have a biscuit, Evans.”

Lily looked up. McGonagall was holding open a tin of biscuits and gesturing for her to sit back down. This Lily did, taking a piece of shortbread out of the proffered tin.

“Thank you,” she murmured, eating it slowly. There was a long pause, then McGonagall spoke.

“I wish I could tell you that no one will treat you any differently because you're muggle-born. I wish I could say that you won't have to work twice as hard to prove yourself, that you won't have to be so much better just to be treated as an equal by some.”

Lily stared at her favourite professor with wide eyes. McGonagall sighed and took off her spectacles to rub tiredly at her eyes. Then she put them on and stared at Lily with a piercing gaze.

“It's not true what they say about you,” she said finally, “You are not lesser because your parents are muggles. And in an ideal world, no one would treat you as such. But you are a smart girl and I will not lie to you, especially when the truth has so obviously been revealed to you by...”

“Mulciber,” Lily said and then almost said Sev's name too. But she didn't. McGonagall nodded.

“He will be dealt with Ms Evans,” she said firmly, “You can count on it. Though,” and here the older woman smiled wryly, “He will first have to recover from the, very much one-sided, duel you had with him.”

There was a moment of silence then McGonagall took a biscuit herself and sighed. The fire crackled in the grate and Lily wondered if she was supposed to leave now, but then the professor cleared her throat, eyes unreadable.

“Some people, Ms Evans, will treat you as lesser,” she said, “Because you are muggle-born.” She stared at Lily with a hard gaze, “It is imperative that you never, and I mean _never,_ believe them. They are wrong. Deeply misguided is an understatement here: they are simply wrong.”

Lily nodded. She felt sad beyond belief but having McGonagall on side, and not having her lie to her; that was a comfort if nothing else.

“If anyone else says something or does something to you or any of your friends,” McGonagall went on, “I want you to come directly to me. They will be dealt with.”

Lily nodded, “Thank you, professor.”

“Don't thank me, Ms Evans,” McGonagall said firmly, “The world is unjust, and attempting to correct some of that that injustice is the very least I can do. As a teacher, it is my job to correct misguided minds. Never thank me, Ms Evans. There is nothing for you to be grateful for here. Angry, yes. Sad, yes. Hurt, yes. We have brought you into this world and if you ever feel anything less than welcome here then that is our fault, and our responsibility to remedy.”

Lily nodded. She almost wanted to say thank you again, but didn't. McGonagall looked very tired and very sad. She offered the tin of biscuits again and Lily took another piece of shortbread.

“Thank you professor,” she said, “For the biscuit.”

McGonagall smiled. “I think it's time for bed now, Ms Evans. You've had quite an evening.”

“Yes, professor.”

“Good night, Lily.”

“Good night, professor.”

And with that, she finally left McGonagall's office, the door clicking shut behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some really interesting ideas for Lily. She is one of my all time faves and I'm genuinely super excited about what I have planned for her, but I'm also super nervous too for reasons.
> 
> So yeah – this is primarily a wolfstar fic but Lily and the girls will feature heavily later on too. And I don't want to spoil her main arc yet so I won't but. Yeah. Mmm – lots of nerves on my part for things later on with Lily. It is kinda hinted at in this chapter but like... barely. Anyway.
> 
> Thanks for reading and please subscribe to stay updated – next chapter will be this Friday xo


	8. February 1972: SIRIUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and subscribing and commenting. You guys are awesome. And now, enjoy Sirius being chaotic for a chapter. xo

**February 1972**

_SIRIUS._

This was it: Valentine's Day 1972. This was the day that would go down in history as the moment the four of them finally made their mark on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. No one would ever forget this day of pranks. No. One.

It was still dark outside but the sun would be rising soon enough so Sirius jumped merrily out of bed, in a way he never usually did, and looked about their dorm.

Remus, the key mastermind behind much of what they had planned for today was already up and dressed, and now sat reading patiently on his bed. Sirius smiled and hopped over to the bathroom.

By the time he was out, both James and Peter were stirring.

“You guys ready?” James asked, blinking with squinting eyes from his bed as he reached for his glasses.

Sirius jumped onto his best mate's bed, accidentally knocking the boys glasses out of his hands, and cackled loudly: “You bet I am. I can't wait to see McGonagall's face. Or Evans and the Slytherins too. D'you think those slimy snakes are up yet? D'you think the dye's worked? James? James!”

James pushed him off his bed and Sirius landed on the floor with a thump. Undeterred, he turned on his next friend to greet. Peter was already clambering out of bed when Sirius collided with him, throwing him bodily to the floor.

“Bloody hell, Black,” Peter said, “You'd think you didn't spend half the night sneaking round the castle. Where's all that energy come from?”

But even Peter couldn't stay in his early morning grumps for long and the four of them quickly made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. They were incredibly early but none of them cared too much, hastily settling down to eat and looking up at the door quickly when people began coming in.

“Are there no early risers in Slytherin?” Sirius hissed impatiently. He couldn't wait to see Andy's and Cissy's reactions. One of them would laugh and the other would be mad, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out which way round it'd be.

As the hall began to get reasonably busy, the Slytherins finally started to appear. James punched him on the shoulder and Sirius looked up to see a trail of morose looking first year Slytherins come ambling into the hall.

Everyone went silent, staring in shock. Then Sirius burst out laughing and the spell was broken: the hall was suddenly much louder as Slytherin's new look was examined.

Snape saw Sirius laughing and came over looking furious. “You did this!”

His robes were bright pink and sparkly. Sirius would be forever grateful to Mary MacDonald for the inspiration; even though Peter had been in a foul mood with all of them for the week after his break-up, it was totally worth it.

“Did you do this to the Slytherins?”

Sirius bit back a groan at the sound of prissy Lily Evans's severe tone. James laughed.

“Like you haven't done worse, Evans,” he said with a bright smirk, “I heard Mulciber was in the Hospital Wing for a whole day whilst Pomfrey tried to reattach his nose.”

Lily flushed bright red and Sirius snorted. Snape was still standing at their table, pink robes a-flowing, and a deep scowl on his face. Sirius didn't think he'd seen anything more beautiful: art is a glorious thing, is it not?

“Sirius Black!”

Oh dear, _that_ didn't sound good. He spun round in his seat and came face to face with the furious gaze of his cousin. Pink really didn't go with the Black pale complexion, now did it? Andy grabbed him by the scruff of his collar and pulled him to his feet. He swallowed nervously.

“PINK,” she cried and shook him slightly, “You bloody _bastard_.”

“Ah, Andy,” he said quickly, “I am many things but certainly not that. And I wouldn't let my mother hear that particular accusation either. She'd probably kill you.”

Andy's lip quirked but she managed to fight back the laugh admirably.

“Oi, Black.”

The two cousins looked over to see a curly-haired rich-skinned Hufflepuff waving from across the hall. Sirius frowned. Was the guy talking to him or... He looked over to Andy who had gone slightly pink. Interesting, Sirius thought, and made a note of it for later.

“What do you want, Tonks?” Andy hissed and the boy smiled.

“Nice robes, Black,” he said with a wink, “Pink really suits you.”

Well that's a lie, Sirius thought, but his cousin had gone almost the exact same colour as her robes. _Very interesting._ She let go of Sirius with a stern glare and flounced out of the hall. The Hufflepuff – Tonks, Andy had called him – rubbed the back of his neck and then seemed to come to a decision. He got up and hurried out of the hall after Andy.

Sirius followed him with his eyes and his gaze was suddenly caught by his other cousin coming into the hall, arm firmly linked with Malfoy. Sirius sighed but perked up when Cissy broke free of the head boy and came over to the Gryffindor table, pink robes a-flowing. She was beaming.

“Pink robes,” she said, looking down at the four boys gazing up at her, “Not bad, not bad. Though I have to say, I kinda expected more.”

“The night is young, sweet cousin,” Sirius said with a flourish, watching as Lily and Snape seemed to argue about something before the greasy-haired boy turned on his heel and stalked away. Sirius turned back to Cissy then glanced over as Malfoy wandered up the aisle between the two tables towards them.

“Black,” he said curtly. Sirius folded his arms.

“Malfoy.”

“Ugh, please stop with the male ego nonsense,” Cissy said with an eye roll, “So what if an eleven year old punched you in the face and broke your nose?” Malfoy glowered at her, and she smiled at him sweetly, “It doesn't matter, love, I still adore you.” And she pecked him on the cheek.

Sirius felt like he was about to vomit but then there was a whispered spell from behind him and he felt it rush past, landing squarely on Malfoy's head. He turned round to see Remus staring fixedly at his breakfast, a small smirk on his face. What had he done? Sirius spun back round.

Malfoy's hair was bright pink. The git hadn't noticed yet and Sirius could barely hide his glee. Cissy took a step away from her boyfriend, mouth ajar. She turned to Sirius, almost as though she were about to chide him, but then seemed to change her mind. She turned back to Malfoy and gave him an almost sickeningly sweet grin.

“Let's get breakfast, love.”

Malfoy nodded stiffly and with a last glower in Sirius's direction, he let his girlfriend lead him away. The second they were out of hearing distance, Sirius flung himself at Remus.

“You bloody genius,” he cried and pulled the other boy into a headlock, laughing.

“Remus Lupin, will you marry me?” James said seriously and Remus shoved them both off him, a proud smile breaking through on his face.

“Oh shut it, you lot,” he said then glanced up as the owls started swooping in, “Time for phase two.”

Sirius sat back in his chair, flinging an arm over Remus's shoulder and feeling more happy than he could express. “Today is gonna be the best day ever.”

The first howler landed with a crash in McGonagall's pumpkin juice and the four boys leant forwards in excitement as the thing started to smoke. McGonagall picked it out of her glass then looked up, staring directly at Sirius. Without a moment of hesitation, or a second to think, he blew her a kiss and her gaze darkened.

“Oh she is going to _kill_ us,” Peter said, “And this is just the howler.”

“Oh yee of little faith,” Sirius said, flicking his hair over his shoulder, “She has a soft spot for me, everyone knows. Minnie and I are _meant_ to be.”

James snorted, “I am _so_ glad we let you do this alone. McGonagall's wrath will be on you and you alone, Black.”

“Wrath,” Sirius said with a smirk, “So that's what the kids are calling it these days.”

Remus smacked him lightly on the arm but before he could verbally chastise him, the howler before McGonagall exploded into the air and Sirius's own voice echoed dramatically around the hall.

“GIRL I KNOW YOU'RE A KITTY-CAT COS YOU'VE GOT ME FEE-LINE FINE.”

Next to him, Remus buried his head in his hands but the love-howler, as Sirius was now fondly thinking of it, still had more.

“ARE YOU ALOHOMORA? COS YOU'VE UNLOCKED _MY_ HEART. MINNIE DEAR, I LOVE YOU LIKE JAMES POTTER LOVES HIS HAIR. LET'S NOT FIGHT THIS ANYMORE. WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?”

The howler burst into flame and disintegrated. The loudness of Sirius's amplified voice was followed by a silence beyond imagining. Even Sirius began to feel a little nervous as everyone in the Great Hall looked from him to McGonagall and back again.

Her face was unreadable. The moment prolonged exponentially. Sirius shuffled uncomfortably. Maybe he'd gone too far.

Then McGonagall's lip quirked. She made eye contact with him, raised an eyebrow, then snorted.

The silence fell away, everyone in the hall seeming to collectively let out a long held breath. Peter let out a strange half groan.

“You hypnotised McGonagall with your magical charm too!” He cried and the other three boys burst out laughing, the broken tensions an unsought for relief. “Seriously,” Peter said, a bright beam on his face despite his indignation, “You just got away with _that_ , with _McGonagall_.”

“Oh, I wouldn't go as far as that, Mr Pettigrew.”

The boys all stopped laughing and looked up to see McGonagall looming over them, amusement still etched on her face. Sirius swallowed nervously.

“Let's see,” she said, “Seeing as you want so badly to spend some _quality_ time with me, Mr Black, how does detention every night till the end of the month sound?”

“The _month_?!” Sirius yelped, “Don't you just mean till the end of the week? Surely, Professor?”

But McGonagall had raised a hand, her lips beginning to purse. “In normal circumstances I would write home.” Sirius felt himself go cold but McGonagall's gaze softened slightly, “But I don't think either of us want that, now, do we Sirius?”

He shook his head, “No, professor.”

“Good,” she replied with a smile, “Detention for the month it is then.” And with that, she walked off.

Sirius groaned and let his face fall onto the table.

“And that's only after the howler,” Peter said, patting Sirius awkwardly on the back. “I wonder what she'll do once she finds all that catnip in her office.”

“Not to mention the ball of string,” James said.

“And the cat collar with Minnie McGee printed on it,” Remus added and Sirius looked up to see he was smirking widely.

He groaned and let his face fall back onto the table. Who'd have thought that actions would have consequences?

There was a cry of shock from further down the table and Sirius looked up. James was laughing.

“Well at least the girl I've annoyed today can't give _me_ detention till the end of the month,” he said with a smirk as Lily Evans tried to bat away the enchanted butterflies that had suddenly appeared about her head.

She looked up suddenly and stared at James, her face strangely reminiscent of McGonagall's severest look. Sirius snorted as the butterflies started to sing.

“You two are unbelievable,” Remus said, shaking his head with a sigh. Sirius stared at him, torn between amusement and indignation: the filthy hypocrite!

Over at the Slytherin table, Malfoy had finally discovered his bright pink hair and was staring into Cissy's compact mirror with barely concealed horror.

***

In the end, all four of them ended up with some form of punishment. No one ever discovered that it was Remus who had charmed Malfoy's hair to be so pretty, though he still had detention for supposed collaboration with the other pranks of the day.

“Really, Mr Lupin,” McGonagall said as he and Sirius arrived for their first detention of the week, “I expect more from you. You really shouldn't let Potter and Black lead you astray.”

“Yes professor,” Remus said, looking down sheepishly. Sirius stared at his friend in barely concealed awe. How the hell did he do it? He had them all fooled.

“Black,” McGonagall said in greeting, then gestured over to the desks that were set up for them, parchment already sitting ready.

“Just lines then?” Sirius asked.

“For tonight, yes,” McGonagall said, “Though I'm sure by the end of term you'll have a real appreciation for the full range of detention types that Hogwarts has to offer.”

Sirius sighed and sat down next to Remus. Remus bloody Lupin, who was smirking and had even McGonagall, _McGonagall_ , fooled with his innocent act. Not fair.

“You might have everyone else buying your sweet and innocent act, Lupin,” he muttered, “But I know you're anything but.”

“Oh really,” Remus retorted with a glint in his eye, “And where's your proof, Black?”

Sirius huffed and leant over to reply with something which would be undoubtedly glib and clever, but at that moment McGonagall looked up, aware that her two charges were not completely focused on the task at hand. She narrowed her eyes at Sirius who was still leant across the gap between his and Remus's desks.

“Mr Black,” she said sharply, “Stop distracting Mr Lupin and focus on your own work please.”

Sirius was gobsmacked and he turned to see Remus chortling into his parchment, quill raised to hide his mischievous expression from McGonagall. The tosser! Well, Sirius thought grumpily, two could play at that game.

He tore off a piece of parchment from his lines and scribbled a note: _wot u think J + P r up 2?_ He glanced up to make sure McGonagall wasn't looking then scrunched it up and lobbed it at Remus's head. Remus looked up from his parchment and raised an eyebrow.

Sirius mimed opening the paper which the other boy promptly did. Remus let out a huff of air, lip quirking slightly as he bent over, no doubt adding something onto the note.

Just as Remus was about to chuck it back, Sirius pushed his inkpot to the floor with a clatter. McGonagall looked up to see Remus, note in hand, caught in the act. Sirius smirked and bent over his parchment, attempting to look as studious as possible.

“And what is that, Mr Lupin?” McGonagall's voice was crisp as she got to her feet and came over.

“I don't know, professor,” Remus said, ever the voice of easily-led innocence, “Sirius just threw it at me.”

“Let's see.”

McGonagall took the note, read it, then turned to Sirius with a heavy sigh. “Really, Mr Black – passing notes? Can't you be even a little more original?”

“But he wrote something back!” Sirius cried aghast, “How am _I_ in trouble for this?”

“The only handwriting on here is your own, Mr Black,” McGonagall said and Sirius could swear he saw her lip twitch slightly, as though some small part of her was finding this whole thing very entertaining.

Sirius scowled at Remus who was looking, wide-eyed, between the two of them.

“I'm sorry, professor,” he said softly, “I should have just ignored him.”

Sirius was flabbergasted. McGonagall looked over her spectacles at Remus and now Sirius was certain she was smiling. What was going on here? Was McGonagall in on Remus's charade of innocence? Were they both trying to make him go mad? Because if so, it was very close to working.

“Professor, you can't be serious,” Sirius said, “He's clearly full of evil intentions.”

Remus looked morosely down at his hands as McGonagall looked between the two of them. She sighed.

“Sirius, go sit at the back of the classroom. No more distracting Mr Lupin.”

Sirius let out a huff and gathered up his things, making sure to be as loud as possible. The second McGonagall's back was turned, Remus chucked a screwed up piece of paper at his head and gave him a clearly evil wink.

“I swear, Remus,” Sirius began but now McGonagall was paying attention to them.

“Quickly now, Mr Black,” she said sharply. Sirius gave Remus one last glare before making his way to his new seat.

Annoyed though he was with Remus's apparent super power, Sirius couldn't help his mind from spinning: they could use this for their own ends, surely? If people, teachers in particular, thought that Remus was the good one, then they could get away with even more mischief. It was just figuring out _how_ to use this newfound talent.

Bloody hell – the guy even had McGonagall fooled. They could be unstoppable.

Sirius spent the rest of detention pondering ways to use Remus's apparent innocent facade to their benefit, so he'd barely written half a parchment by the time McGonagall got up to check. She looked at both of their parchments, nodding happily at Remus's and letting him go before taking one look at Sirius's and letting out a loud sigh.

“Really, Mr Black,” she said, “When are you going to make life easier for yourself? You can stay for another half an hour and finish the page.”

Sirius watched as Remus walked past McGonagall, a bright glint in his eyes. He groaned: bloody Lupin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a complete scream to write and I hope that comes across reading it!
> 
> I think I'll update the next chapter on Tuesday so keep an eye out for it then. And please subscribe to stay on top of my slightly chaotic update schedule. It's twice a week at the moment: Fridays, and then Monday or Tuesday as well. 
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments, and to all people who've left kudos - it really makes me smile to get such kind feedback. You guys rock! xo


	9. 10th March 1972: REMUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Swear words! The s-word is used in this chapter. I'm not sure I'm going to bother warning for swear words from now on though, but just a heads up – swear words will be used, including the c-word in later chapters, I think. 
> 
> Anyway, happy birthday Remus Lupin...

**10 th March 1972**

_REMUS._

Sirius woke Remus on the morning of his birthday by throwing a jug of water over him. As he sat up in his now wet bed, spluttering, Remus took a moment to appreciate the sheer chaos that was Sirius Black.

“Tosser,” he grumbled and stumbled to the bathroom, Sirius cackling from behind him.

“Wakey wakey, Pete and Jamesy,” Sirius crooned as Remus slammed the door and grabbed a towel.

He came back out a few seconds later to the sight of James and Peter, bleary eyed, crawling out of their own beds.

“Happy birthday, Remus,” Peter yawned. James nodded along, looking still asleep even though he was now sat up. Remus frowned, turning to Sirius.

“What time is it?” It was still dark outside so it had to be early, _very_ early.

“Well I had to make sure I was up before you,” Sirius said, bounding over to James and sprinkling droplets of water on him from the bottom of the jug, “And you always get up stupidly early so...”

“Bloody hell, Black,” Peter cried, staring in horror at his watch, “It's four in the morning!”

Remus groaned but Sirius just looked even happier, “So not too early for Remus then.”

“You're incorrigible.”

“Bloody nerd,” were James Potter's first words to Remus on his birthday, but then he shoved Sirius and the jug away and got to his feet, stumbling over to clap Remus on the back, “Look, presents!”

He was right. Remus looked over to the foot of his bed which Sirius had mercifully missed with his water attack. A pile of neatly, and some not so neatly, wrapped presents sat at the foot of his bed. Remus felt his day brighten even with the sun yet to rise.

His parents had sent him lots of chocolate and sweets as well as a bright red jumper, no doubt to celebrate his house. He put it on straight away, loving the softness of it, and determined to wear it as much as possible before the weather got too hot.

“What is it with you and jumpers?” Sirius asked, laughing as he thrust his own messily wrapped gift at Remus.

“They're comfy,” Remus replied, “And you didn't have to get me anything, Sirius.”

“Sure, whatever,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “Just open it, you tosser.”

This he did, revealing a box of Honeyduke's finest. He beamed, “Thanks.”

Sirius grinned back then reached out to touch the jumper, “Hm, it _is_ soft.”

“Oi, paws off,” Remus jerked back, “Your hands are always slightly grubby and I want this to stay nice for as long as possible.”

“Yeah, good luck with that in this dorm,” said James, “And open mine and Pete's next.”

“You got him something together,” Sirius cried, appalled, “Why didn't you include me?”

“Well, you were the one who decided we were getting gifts for Remus, even though none of us got anything for you,” James said, giving him a shove, “And we decided to work together. It's nothing fancy, Remus.” He added as an afterthought.

“Thanks guys,” Remus said, feeling pleased beyond belief that his friends cared enough about him to get him gifts. He opened it to find yet more chocolate. Best birthday ever.

And he only felt slightly guilty about the ongoing lie regarding his mother.

***

As the four of them made their way through the Gryffindor common room, intending to head down to breakfast in the Great Hall, a shock of red hair stepped in front of them, blocking their path to the portrait hole. It was Lily.

Remus blinked, surprised. It had been a long time since he and the girls had last spoken. Ever since the prank on their dormitory, and then Mary's brutal break up with Peter as a result, the four Gryffindor first year girls had been making a point of avoiding Remus. Lily had even been studying with her before-school friend Severus, much to James's and Sirius's utter disgust, because she had been point blank refusing to even sit with Remus.

“Happy birthday,” Lily said and held out a card. Remus was about to take it, fully intending to re-befriend and make amends with his best study partner when Sirius stepped in the way.

“He doesn't want anything from you, Evans,” he said, folding his arms. James joined him, the two of them creating a barrier between Remus and Lily. Well that was brilliant, Remus thought: now he was back, stuck between his two groups of friends who were annoyingly self-declared enemies.

“Sirius stop,” he said with a sigh, “James, please get out of the way.”

The two boys reluctantly moved apart and Lily gave Remus a nervous smile. “I, er... I got your card for my birthday.”

Remus nodded. He had managed to persuade Mary, who seemed to have a soft spot for him, into giving Lily the card he'd made for her birthday at the end of January. It seemed to have worked its magic, albeit a little slowly, in returning Lily's friendship.

“And,” Lily went on, handing over the card in her hand, “I made one for you. It's nothing special, just a birthday card.” She shrugged, her cheeks slightly pink.

“Thanks Lily,” Remus said, taking the card. It was green: their shared favourite colour, and had a drawing of a cake on it. Indeed, it _was_ nothing special, but nor had Remus's card to Lily been anything fancy; but it meant more than it looked. He smiled.

“I, uh,” Lily said and cleared her throat awkwardly. James yawned loudly from Remus's left side and Sirius sniggered from his right. He glared at both of them before returning his gaze to Lily. Lily, however, was now glaring daggers at James and Sirius, her eyes furiously flicking between the two of them.

“You two are such tossers,” she hissed, before turning back to Remus with a heated glare, “You're worth more than them, Remus. You should be hanging out with people more worthy of your time.”

“Oh, like you, you mean?” James asked, voice low and angry, “Like you're worth Remus's time, when you spend so much of your time with creeps like Snape and Mulciber.”

Lily's face went very pale and Remus noticed, with horror, that she was shaking slightly, “I don't spend _any_ time with Mulciber.”

“Really?” Sirius asked, smirking. Remus felt a jolt of panic when he saw that cruel glint in his friend's grey eyes, “Cos I heard that when you jinxed his nose off, it was after a particularly heated study session in the library with him and Snivellus.”

“You're a nasty shit, Black,” Lily hissed and she shoved past him, heading back up to her dorm. As she went, Remus was certain he saw tears in her eyes. He turned on Sirius, furious.

“Bloody hell, Sirius,” he snarled, “You don't have to be such a cruel jerk all the time. I'm half convinced she's right about you lot not being worth my time with the way you go on.”

“What.”

Sirius had gone pale but James folded his arms, visibly bristling in defiance.

“Well if that's how you feel, Lupin,” he retorted, “Maybe you should spend your birthday with Evans and the girls rather than us.”

No, this wasn't supposed to happen. Remus glanced from Sirius's pale face to James's furious one, then over to Peter whose gaze was darting between the dark-haired boys, but refusing to meet Remus's own. Bloody coward.

“Fine,” he hissed and turned on his heel, heading out through the portrait hole, Lily's card clenched firmly in hand.

The second he left, he regretted it. Was Lily Evans really worth losing James and Peter and Sirius? He thought of how pale Sirius had gone and he almost turned on his heel, heading back to apologise, but at that moment Marlene and Dorcas came round the corner, chatting amiably. They stopped when they saw him.

“Hi, Remus,” Marlene said cautiously, “Isn't it your birthday today?”

“Yeah.”

“Happy birthday,” Dorcas gushed. Remus smiled and gave a stiff nod of gratitude. He didn't quite trust himself to speak with how he was feeling right now. Dorcas and Marlene exchanged a nervous look. Then Marlene spoke, rolling herself closer as she did.

“You alright, Lupin?”

“Yeah, fine,” he said gruffly. Dorcas snorted.

“Well clearly you're not.”

He glowered at the short girl. Out of all the girls in Lily's friend group, he was probably least close with Dorcas. All he really knew about her was that her mother was a Vietnamese muggle and her father, a pure-blood white wizard, did a lot of travelling.

“What do you know of me Meadowes?” He demanded, perhaps overly-harshly because Marlene put her chair firmly between him and Dorcas, wide brown eyes darkening perceptibly.

“No need to be such a tosser, Lupin,” she said, arms folded, “Now tell us what's wrong or I'll ram you.”

Remus took a precautionary step back, away from the wheels on Marlene's chair which, from experience, he knew could bloody hurt.

“Alright,” he said after she raised her thick eyebrows dangerously, “Alright. I'll tell you. I just had an argument with my mates.”

“All three of them?” Dorcas had a strange glint in her eye. Remus nodded.

“Yeah, well, pretty much,” he paused, “Maybe not Pete so much, but he'll take James and Sirius's side over mine any day of the week.”

Marlene snorted but said nothing.

“Lily gave me a card,” Remus said, holding up the slightly crumpled green paper, “And Sirius said something nasty so I told him maybe she was right.”

“You said Lily was right in front of her face?” Marlene asked, looking deeply troubled by this. Remus huffed: so what if Lily liked to be right all the time? More often than not she actually was right after all.

“Nah, she'd run off by then,” Remus replied, “She was really upset so Sirius had to have someone say something.” He drew his hand slowly down his face. He hoped Lily was alright: Sirius could be really cruel sometimes.

“Bloody hell,” Dorcas said, “What did he say to her?”

“Something about Mulciber and the library,” Remus said with a shrug, “I don't really know...”

He trailed off. Marlene and Dorcas were looking at each other, eyes wide.

“We should...”

“Yeah...”

And with that, the two girls hurried past him, back towards the portrait hole. Remus hesitated for a second, then chased after them.

“What's going on?”

“Don't worry, Remus,” Dorcas called back, “You did great standing up to Black. Well done.”

“Don't patronise me, Meadowes,” Remus hissed as they reached the fat lady, Marlene saying the password and the hole widening to allow her chair through. Remus and Dorcas hurried in behind her.

“Look, Remus,” Dorcas said, “You know Lily had a run in with Mulciber in the library. Well, he's a creep and she got really upset. Just – thanks for standing up for her and all, but we can deal with this.”

The two of them headed up the stairs to the girls dorms and Remus was left, standing alone in the common room. His mind whirred. Mulciber _was_ a creep but Lily had thoroughly put him in his place that time by removing the bastard's nose. So why was she still reeling from it?

He thought of Sirius's comment about things getting heated in the library and knew how to figure out what was going on with Lily. It did mean, however, that he'd have to make up with Sirius and James.

Remus sighed: why was his birthday turning into such a bloody drama. He had half a mind to just go back up to bed, pull on his new jumper, and spend the day eating all his birthday chocolate under the covers.

Damn, that did sound good.

Remus shook his head and looked about, just to make sure that James, Sirius and Peter weren't still in the common room, perhaps hiding behind a sofa watching him. They weren't, so he figured they must have taken a different route down to breakfast and the Great Hall was were they'd be.

For the second time, Remus left the common room, heading out of the portrait hole and down the corridor.

“Happy bloody birthday to me,” he muttered under his breath.

***

The three other Gryffindor first year boys were sitting at the far end of the table. Remus strode over to them, ignoring the slightly queasy feeling he had in his stomach. Peter was the first to see him coming over and he elbowed James who looked over and tensed up as Remus came over.

Without a second of hesitation he sat down next to Sirius who jumped so high it was almost comical. Almost.

“Right,” Remus said firmly, “Now, we all know that I'd rather spend my birthday with you three idiots than not, and we all know that I was stupid to say otherwise. I'm sorry. Forgive me and I'll forgive you two for behaving like jerks to Evans.” He looked at James and Sirius, the latter whose mouth was slightly ajar as he looked at him.

James cleared his throat, “Deal.”

Remus nodded then looked at Sirius, eyebrows raised. Sirius nodded.

Remus beamed. “Brilliant. Then we're all good.”

James smiled, a genuine thing that lit up his whole face, “What'd we do without you Remus?”

“Die, probably,” Remus said, helping himself to bacon and eggs, “Your pranks would certainly suffer. Juice Sirius?”

Sirius nodded and Remus topped up his glass with a smile. What exactly had made Sirius Black go quiet Remus had no idea, but he was definitely going to find out: a silent Sirius was surprisingly good company. Better than the sort of person who made girls cry anyway. And that reminded him.

“Do you know something more about what happened between Evans and Mulciber?” Remus asked. Sirius shrugged. Ok, silent Sirius was getting a bit tiresome now. “Well?” Remus put down his fork to look at the boy next to him, raising his eyebrows as he did. “Speak.”

“Oh, uh...” Sirius cleared his throat, “I don't really... I just overheard MacDonald and McKinnon talking. Apparently Mulciber was being a real pervy creep – going on about muggle-born girls being spirited and all...” Sirius trailed off, no doubt at Remus's darkening glare.

“And you thought it'd be fun to further torment her about it,” he said, keeping his voice as calm as possible. Bloody _hell._

Sirius looked sheepish.

“Muggle-born girls being spirited,” James said, aghast, “That total weirdo. What a disgusting creep!”

“Yeah,” Remus said, staring at Sirius, “And imagine using that to make Lily even more uncomfortable.” Sirius bit his lip.

“I'll tell her I'm sorry,” he said quietly.

Remus nodded. “That's a start.”

There was an awkward moment of silence. Then Peter broke the tension by cracking a joke and the four boys finished breakfast in good spirits.

Remus felt his chest unclench: perhaps his birthday could still be a good day. He'd have to check in on Lily at some point to thank her for the card and make sure she was alright; but today would be a day with the boys: his fellow pranksters and best friends.

He barely even noticed the guilt about his Lie eating away at him. It was barely there at all. Not even worth thinking about, Remus decided, determined to have at least _one_ day with his friends without his Lie stopping him from having a good time. It was his birthday for crying out loud: he was supposed to have a good time, today of all days.

***

Sirius's stance could be better, Remus considered, as he watched his friend slowly approach the common room table that Lily and her friends were sat around. Sure, his shoulders were aptly slumped and all, but his chin was definitely too high. Bloody pure-blood upbringing. Remus sighed.

Peter nudged him.“It's your turn Lupin,” he hissed but Remus waved his hand at him, ignoring their ongoing chess game for the moment.

“One minute Pete.”

Sirius Black was about to apologise. He _had_ to see this. Peter grumbled and turned away, picking up a comic instead. James looked up from where he was spelling Sirius's DADA homework different colours to watch.

“I wonder what she'll do to him,” he said with a yawn, “Five galleons says she jinxes his nose off.”

Remus glowered at him before returning his gaze to Sirius and the girls.

“Lily,” Sirius said, his voice carrying clearly across the common room. Remus watched as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “I...er... I...” he trailed off and Lily put her book down, turning her full attention to him.

“What is it, Black?” She said coldly. Remus bit his lip. This wasn't going great. Would Sirius ever be able to apologise in the future if this, clearly his first time, went terribly? Willing Lily to be a little more forgiving, Remus continued to watch.

Sirius sighed. “Lily Evans, I'm sorry.” There was a long silence. Then Lily snorted.

“Alright Black, what's going on here?” She looked over to where Remus and James were watching. They both hurriedly turned away, Remus staring pointedly down at a bare patch on the sofa they were sat on. “Is this some sort of prank?” She asked.

“No, no,” Remus heard Sirius cry and looked up to see the black-haired boy look nervously over to him. He gave him an encouraging smile. “Look, Evans – er, Lily,” Sirius hastily corrected, “I... I was really out of order with the Mulciber comment. He's a nasty creep and I shouldn't have mentioned it. I should've kept my big mouth shut,” he added lamely.

Lily snorted again but this time she looked a little softer. She glanced over to Remus and raised an eyebrow, “You've got him well trained, Lupin,” she called. Remus shrugged.

“He's apologised, Evans,” he replied, “Ball's in your court.”

Lily sighed then nodded, considering Sirius for a moment longer. “Alright Black, say it one more time.”

Remus could've thrown something but it seemed Sirius was ready to put up with Lily being a little difficult.

“Alright, Lily,” Sirius said, “I'm really sorry.”

She smiled and exchanged an amused look with Mary who'd been watching the exchange with interest along with the other girls. Lily turned back to Sirius and nodded.

“Then I forgive you, Sirius,” she said before glancing over to Remus. “Happy now, Lupin?” She called, “Both sides of the family are getting on. No need to cancel Christmas dinner.”

Remus smirked, “I can't promise we'll behave forever though, Evans, and you know it.”

Lily rolled her eyes and gave Sirius a small nod before turning back to her friends. Sirius bounded back over, eyes wild and full of glee. He plonked himself down between James and Remus and threw his arms over their shoulders.

“Look at me, all grown up,” he said. James shoved him.

“Push over.”

“Oi!”

And Remus had to hastily vacate the sofa as the two of them started to wrestle, Sirius pulling James into a tight headlock whilst the other boy laughed hysterically.

“Alright, Pete,” Remus said, joining him on the floor by the fire, “I'm back for that game now.”

Yes, Remus thought to himself as Peter promptly took his queen, today was a good day. He glanced over to Sirius and James who were still in a tussle on the sofa and smiled. He couldn't help it: he knew he was a liar and a fraud and undeserving of anyone's friendship, but he couldn't help enjoying this moment.

All his friends were getting on and life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...for now...
> 
> Next chapter on Friday guys, have a nice day xo
> 
> Also I'm on tumblr @thesecretwordsmith if you want to say hi. Ignore my terrible colour scheme there – I'm a writer not an artist damnit! 
> 
> And Harry Potter belongs to the fans guys, she-who-shalt-not-be-named has no power here :P


	10. May - June 1972: JAMES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say that you guys are awesome – I love your comments and am having such a lovely time. Please let me know if anything makes you uncomfortable in the story, or if you see the need for content warnings that I've overlooked. 
> 
> Now, back to Hogwarts...

**May - June 1972**

_JAMES._

The water splashed right into his face and James Potter spluttered. Sirius cackled and darted away from the lake, heading back up to the tree where Remus and Peter were still studying. James swore but didn't go after him.

If he went back to the tree, Remus would somehow guilt him into actually studying which he really didn't want to do. So instead he shook his head, ridding himself of the worst of the water and picked up another stone, nice and flat.

Wrist curled back, then sprung forwards, and the stone bounced across the lake James let out a satisfied sigh and shielded his eyes to avoid the worst of the glare from the bright summer sun as he watched to see how far it went. Four bounces: not bad.

“You really should revise, y'know.”

James jumped and turned to see Remus standing right next to him with, what James called, his teacher expression on. James reached up to ruffle his own messy hair then shrugged.

“I've done enough.”

“You've done even less than Sirius,” Remus said with a stern look, “And that's saying something.”

James looked up to the tree where Sirius had now settled down next to Pete with a heavy book open. He groaned: pushover. At that moment, Sirius looked up, no doubt sensing his gaze, and stuck his tongue out. James returned it with a rude hand gesture. Sirius laughed and put down the book to come bounding over. Remus sighed.

“I'd hardly call that properly studying for Transfiguration.”

Sirius shrugged, “Me and James don't need to revise. We're just naturally gifted.”

Remus's jaw twitched as though he wanted to say something to that, but then he seemed to think better of it and instead turned with a heavy sigh and walked back to Peter and the tree.

“You two are terrible,” he called over his shoulder but James was grinning: Remus had given up on getting them to study and he had Sirius right next to the lake.

Without another moment of hesitation, he leant down, scooped up a handful of water, and splashed it right in Sirius's surprised face. The other boy spluttered, indignant, then a truly evil glint appeared in his eyes and he charged.

“What the - ” James began but suddenly Sirius's arms were around his knees and they were both falling backwards into the lake.

The cold water closed around them and James pulled himself free of Sirius's grasp, kicking up to break the surface. He coughed and spluttered and when Sirius's head appeared next to him, cackling, he splashed him.

“Now we're all wet!”

Sirius snorted, “Kinda the whole idea.”

“Tosser,” James grumbled but couldn't really be annoyed with Sirius. He splashed back to dry ground, struggling slightly up the steep bank before falling down on the grass with a sigh. To be fair, he did feel a lot cooler now.

Sirius stumbled down next to him and tucked his hands behind his head, gazing up at the blue sky with a contented smirk.

“I'm bored,” he moaned after a while, leg bouncing. James looked over, considering.

“We should plan a prank for after exams, y'know, like a celebration of the past year.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, sitting up in excitement, “What sort of thing?”

“I dunno,” James said, staring out over the water, “Maybe something to do with water...”

“We could start a water fight!”

“Yeah, maybe,” James considered this. It was a good start but it lacked a certain amount of detail. He glanced up the slope to where Remus was trying to show Peter the correct hand motions for a transfiguration spell.

Sirius followed his gaze and waggled his eyebrows. “I'm on it.” He jumped to his feet and strode over to Remus and Peter, a confident swagger to his strides. James snorted as Remus looked up, face instantly falling: no doubt that mischievous glint was still in Sirius's eyes.

James got to his feet too, and hurried up after the other boy.

“No,” Remus said and shook his head, “No.”

“But I hadn't even said anything yet,” Sirius whined and turned to James, despairing. James considered Remus thoughtfully. The boy had no fewer than three textbooks open, two inkpots and about a dozen quills strewn around him.

“We're planning a prank,” James began but Remus continued to shake his head, like a dog trying to get water out of its ears.

“Nope, I'm busy.”

“But we _need_ you Remus,” Sirius moaned, falling down at the other boys feet. “ _Please_.”

“If you help us with the prank,” James said, “Then we promise to study with you everyday.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, “And why would I want that?”

James gasped, clasping his hand to his chest in mock hurt, “Because you don't want us to fail and have to leave school, never to see you again!”

“Yeah, Remus,” Sirius said, rolling over onto his back, “Imagine never getting to see us again. What would you do?”

“A lot more studying,” Remus said drily, pushing Sirius off the textbook that he had inadvertently rolled across.

“It can't hurt to plan a prank, Remus,” Pete said, looking up from his wand movements, “And it'd be good to have more study partners.”

Good old Peter, James thought happily, and turned back to Remus.

“Oh go on, Lupin,” he said, plonking himself down next to his friend, “If you don't help us then we're sure to make a complete mess of it all. Who knows how much trouble we'd end up in?!”

Remus's eyes narrowed, “So you want to drag me into your trouble to lessen the consequences for yourselves?”

“That's right!” Sirius said, his leg bouncing as he sat up. James groaned inwardly as Remus's expression darkened. He began packing up his books.

“No, Remus, don't go,” Peter said, horrified, “I need you.”

“Yeah, we need you for prank planning,” Sirius added and Peter gave him a look.

“ _I_ need him for studying.”

“I'm going to the library,” Remus said swinging his repacked bag onto his shoulder, “Anyone who wants to study is welcome to join me.”

Peter hurried to gather his things together as Remus strode away. Sirius sighed and laid his head back against the grass. James punched him on the arm.

“Well done, idiot.”

Sirius looked hurt, “What did I do?”

James rolled his eyes and slapped him on the arm, “Your hypnotic charm doesn't work on Remus, remember,” he said, “Not like it works on idiots like Pete and me.”

Sirius huffed then rolled over onto his stomach, head propped up in his hands, and smirk on his lips. “Well how about this: we prank Remus.”

James was taken aback. Pranking Remus. It was an interesting idea. They'd never really pranked each other. Sirius had occasionally done things like pour water onto one of the others or put spiders in their beds, but a proper prank, targeted solely at Remus. Well, that was new.

“D'you think we could pull it off?” James asked, tone hushed, as though their nerdy friend might be able to overhear them from the library.

“I have faith in us, James,” Sirius said then hesitated, “Do we bring Pete in on this?”

James shook his head, “Nah, he's got enough on with stressing about exams and all.” Then a thought struck him, “This for after exams right?”

Sirius nodded, “I don't think Remus would ever speak to us again if we did anything to jeopardise his study schedule.”

James snorted but nodded. After exams it was then.

***

Their exams started in the first week of June and even James had to buckle down and get some real work done. This he did and breezed through his exams, certain that he'd done well enough to be near the top of their year. Remus kept his nose to the grindstone and James was convinced that it was down to him that Pete managed to get through exams in any sort of shape.

Sirius was laid back throughout, working hard only but always when Remus pushed him enough, and the four came out the other side, relieved and ready to enjoy the last few weeks of the term before they'd be done for the year.

“Can you believe we've finished first year?” Sirius said from where he lay, strewn out on the grass by the quidditch pitch. They'd just finished their last exam: Transfiguration with McGonagall. James shrugged but Pete looked worried.

“Unless we fail and have to redo the year,” he muttered, “Not that'd any of you three have to really worry about that.”

James's heart clenched for a moment: maybe he should've helped Pete more like Remus did. It would be awful if the shorter boy had to resit without them.

“You'll pass Peter,” Remus said from where he lay, eyes partly closed next to James, “You worked hard and did really well in our study sessions. And you'll have earned your good exam results, unlike these two lazy tossers.”

“Oi,” Sirius said, poking Remus on the leg, “I worked hard!”

Remus nodded, “Fine, just James is a lazy tosser then.”

James shrugged, nonchalant: he wasn't wrong. And besides, he could put up with Lupin's insults knowing what he and Sirius had planned for tomorrow. Speaking of.

“Oh, Sirius,” he said, as casual as possible, “Shall we go do that thing?”

Remus's eyes narrowed and Peter looked deeply hurt. “What thing?” He asked, nervous, “You guys aren't doing something without me, are you?”

“No, nothing for _you_ to worry about Petey,” Sirius said, hopping to his feet, gleefully. Subtle, James snorted. Remus was now examining them both critically.

“This isn't about your supposed end of year prank, is it?”

“Oh no,” James said, waving his hand nonchalantly, “We've barely started on that.”

“But you'll tell us when you do start,” Peter said, sitting up on his knees, “A-are you sure you don't need me to come with you now?”

James paused, considering. He glanced over to Sirius, who shrugged. “Sure Petey, why not?”

“And can I come?” Remus asked. James sighed, dramatically.

“'Fraid not, Lupin,” he said, doing his best impression of regret, “We don't want to further damage your friendship with the girls.” James had to admit: it was a good lie, the sort that would hold.

“You're not planning on pranking them _again_ ,” Remus sighed, before looking to Peter, “Mary will never forgive you for doing it twice.”

Peter bit his lip but didn't look like he was going to back down. Sirius snorted and clapped him on the back, “He's well shot of her.”

Not the right thing to say. Peter wrung his hands, “D'you really think so?”

“Sure,” Sirius said and James punched him, hard, on the arm. When Sirius looked at him in confusion, James glared.

“Come on then,” he said, clapping his hands together, “See you later, Lupin.”

“Hm,” Remus said, looking between the three of them, eyes still suspicious. Sirius ruffled his hair and he glowered, and then the three of them left him lying strewn out on the grass in the sunshine.

“He's definitely suspicious,” Peter said casually as they headed back to the castle, “What _are_ you lot planning?”

“Prank on Lupin,” Sirius said, and for one brief moment he looked almost exactly like Peter: all nervous and excited. James snorted: it was just Remus after all. There was nothing to get nervous about: he might spend too much time with Lily Evans than was good for him, but at least he did have a sense of humour, unlike said red-head.

“So, what's the plan?” Peter asked, taking to pranking one of their own with an almost uncanny ease.

“Well,” James replied, “You know how Remus loves his jumpers.”

“Yeah?”

James and Sirius exchanged a bright grin, before bursting into laughter. This was going to be hilarious, James thought happily.

***

“This is not funny.”

Remus stood at the foot of the steps up to the boys dormitories with a scowl on his face. James muffled a snort but Sirius looked a little cowed by Remus's dark glare.

Strewn out in a line behind him, as though they were queuing to be worn, floated all of Remus's jumpers. He took a couple of steps forwards into the common room and the line of jumpers followed, like some bizarre yet wonderful conga line.

This was undeniably brilliant, James decided, and nudged Sirius. Peter was muffling his laughter from his other side.

“What the hell?”

James rolled his eyes as the whiny voice of Lily Evans appeared from behind them. He spun round.

“Go away and come back when you have a sense of humour,” he told her and she scowled at him.

“He's your friend, and you've done _this_ to him.”

“Oh leave off, Evans,” Sirius said, “It's not hurting anyone. It's just funny.” He turned back, hurriedly looking for reassurance from one disgruntled Remus, “It _is_ funny, right, Remus?”

James looked over too. Remus's arms were folded but his lip quirked slightly and James knew they were in the clear.

“Well, Remus?” Lily asked, but Lupin addressed Sirius first.

“Yeah, Sirius, it's funny.”

Sirius laughed, bounding over to Remus who was now smiling quite undeniably; but Lily huffed, turning on her heel to disappear in a flurry of red hair and disapproval. Well, James thought smugly, that certainly told her.

Remus looked behind him at the queue of jumpers and shook his head, chortling slightly. Then he folded his arms and looked over to Sirius.

“But if even one thread is out of place by the end of this, I'll have your head, Black.”

Sirius spluttered, “But it was James too!”

“You're idea, Sirius,” James said, cackling, “Pete and I were innocents in this – pulled in against our wills.”

Remus laughed openly at that, “As if I'd ever believe that.”

“I was dragged in against my will,” Peter said, seriously and James shoved him.

“You came to us willingly, Pete,” he said, feeling only marginally put out by his friend's treachery, “And when we told you the plan you had no qualms at getting involved.”

“Well,” Remus said, coming over, long line of jumpers in tow, “This was very funny and all, but... er... Can you undo it now?”

James shrugged, “Sure you don't want to go down to breakfast with it?”

Remus's eyes narrowed dangerously, and James hurriedly flicked his wand, undoing all the spellwork on the jumpers. Remus nodded, satisfied, as the jumpers fell to the floor with a collective thump.

“Here,” Sirius said, leaping to his feet and swishing and flicking his wand, “I'll take them back upstairs for you, Remus.”

James rolled his eyes: typical Black; not giving a damn about anyone but himself, apart from when it came to Remus Lupin. The jumpers had flown back up again and, guided by Sirius, began to meander their way back upstairs. Sirius disappeared behind them and Remus smirked as he watched him go.

“How d'you do it, Lupin?” James asked, curious despite himself, “Sirius adores me, but he'd never tread so carefully about me like he does with you.”

“Oh, I wouldn't say that,” Remus said, coming over and plonking himself down on the sofa.

“About what part?” James asked and Remus snorted.

“He adores you, James,” he replied, “Not that you need it, bloody big-headed buffoon that you are.”

Rude. James shoved Remus in the stomach and the other boy returned it. Peter sat down on the floor next to them with a sigh.

“Well both of you get the good side of Sirius Black a damn sight more than I do,” he said sadly. James scratched his nose, suddenly feeling deeply uncomfortable.

“Sirius is just like that, Pete,” Remus said kindly, “And anyway, he's terribly fond of you. You remember what he did to Mulciber that time after he tampered with your cauldron in Potions.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Peter said. James bit his lip. This was _really_ uncomfortable.

“Peter,” he said, “You're our mate, you know that, right? You're always down to go off marauding round the castle with us. And, you've got a bloody wicked sense of humour – much better than Black's anyway.”

Remus snorted and nodded in agreement, “Sirius wouldn't know subtlety if it whacked him over the head.”

Peter looked a lot happier now and he smiled up at them, “Thanks guys. I guess we do do a lot of marauding about the castle don't... we...” He trailed off, a strange expression crossing his face: “Marauding. What's the noun of that?”

“Er... marauder?” Remus suggested. Peter blinked and grinned up at him.

“We should call ourselves that?”

James snorted: seriously, a name? They didn't need a cool name to be cool. They just were.

“What – the marauder?” Remus asked, sounding just as uncertain as James did.

“The Marauders.” Pete grinned even wider and James blinked: how did he manage to say words so you heard the capital letter at the start?

“What's that?”

The three of them looked over to see Sirius bounding over from the stairs.

“Peter's given us a team name,” James said, sniggering. Peter narrowed his eyes and he quickly held up his hand in defence, “Alright, alright. The Marauders does have a ring to it.”

“What the hell is a marauder?” Sirius asked.

“Well marauding is sort of like what pirates do, I guess,” Remus said slowly, “Pillaging and raiding and what not.”

“I love it,” Sirius said, falling down in a sprawl of limbs across Remus's and James's laps.

“Well it was Pete's idea,” James said, pushing the other boy off to land with a thump on the floor below them. Even James had to admit: the name was growing on him. _Marauders_. It had a ring to it, it did feel very _them_.

“Nice one, Pete,” Sirius said, nudging the boy. James wondered if Sirius had somehow overheard their conversation and was trying to make amends of some sort. Then he thought maybe that was too sensitive a thing for Sirius Black; but then again, he could be incredibly kind when he wanted to, so maybe he _had_ overheard.

Either way, Peter was now beaming uncontrollably and that was worth something. James grabbed Remus and pulled them all into a big hug with only minimal whinging from Sirius.

“The Marauders it is then!”

The Marauders, James thought: yeah, that was a good name. It'd bring the four of them closer, uniting them under the banner of pillaging and raiding and, most importantly, mischief. Yes, James thought as the three others managed to scramble from his grasp, the Marauders it was.

Watch out Hogwarts: here come the Marauders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to be able to start referring to them as the Marauders already. Seems I have no patience so well done Peter for coming up with the name :P
> 
> Things start to get a bit more serious at the end of the next chapter. But first is, of course, their end of year prank! Very excited about this one, not sure if I'm overdoing the pranks too early on but Sirius and James are very very talented wizards and Remus is a prank genius so... we'll see... 
> 
> Next chapter will be on Monday, please make sure you're subscribed if not already and thank you for reading!! xo


	11. June 1972: SIRIUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Near the end of this chapter there is discussion of real-world racism (referred to as muggle racism in fic), written by a white writer (me).

**June 1972**

_SIRIUS._

The morning of their last full day, Sirius woke up excited. He wasn't looking forward to going home tomorrow as he hadn't gone back for Easter, despite his mother requesting his presence, and he was really not looking forward to the inevitable fall out from that; but he'd firmly pushed those thoughts of impending doom from his mind for today.

Today was going to be totally awesome and even thoughts of his eventual return home couldn't quash his excitement.

“Anyone up yet?” He called out to the dorm. It was still dim, the sun only just beginning to rise outside, but he was sure that Remus, at least, would be awake. He was right.

“Only just,” Remus whispered from the bed over and Sirius peered through his own curtains to see the other boy's head leaning out of his. They grinned at each other.

Since exams had finished, Remus had really relaxed, getting fully into planning mode for their end of year prank. Sirius was strangely proud of him. It was going to be incredible with Remus Lupin's ingenious mind behind it and he really _really_ couldn't wait.

“We have to all be up promptly,” Sirius hissed, glancing over to the slumbering forms of James and Peter, “Shall we wake them up?”

Remus raised his eyebrows, lip twitching slightly, “Like you woke me for my birthday?”

Sirius couldn't tell if he was being berated or if it was a suggestion. He floundered and Remus clambered out of bed, grin wide. “Where's that big jug you used on me?” He asked, peering under Sirius's bed.

Sirius could kiss him: so it _was_ a suggestion then. He clambered out of bed and hurried over to the cupboard by the bathroom, slinging it open to reveal, there on the bottom shelf, the giant jug.

“Hm,” Remus said, looking a little put out, “There's only one though.”

“We'll do James,” Sirius said, “Pete takes ages to wake up anyway. We do James and we'll probably have time to run back and refill to get Peter too.”

Remus nodded and they enacted their plan.

James roared like a bull as the cold water drenched him through. “You bastard Sirius Black!” He cried then blinked to see Remus standing over him, Sirius slightly behind. “You!”

He sounded so betrayed, but Sirius didn't stay to watch. He pinched the jug from Remus's hands and hurried back to the bathroom. Peter was just sitting up when Sirius got him, the water drenching him thoroughly and leaving him gasping like a fish as the others cackled.

“You know what, Sirius,” James said as he headed towards the bathroom, dripping loudly on the wooden floor, “I think you've been a bad influence on Remus.”

“Ha,” Sirius cried, slightly indignant. He personally thought it was much more the other way round but no one would believe him about Remus's clearly evil streak. “You sound like McGonagall.”

“Well, you know me and Minnie,” James said, stopping at the door with a wink, “We just get each other.”

“How dare you!” Sirius threw a hand to his chest, “She is the love of my life and I will duel you for her honour, cur!” He brandished his wand like a sword and was preparing for a fight when Remus stepped between them, eyebrows raised.

“Alright Romeos,” he said, “You can fight for McGonagall's honour in detention. We still need to do the final spell before everyone starts getting up.”

Sirius instantly lowered his wand, excitement zinging through him once more. He looked over to James who was beaming.

“Get dressed you lot,” Remus said, throwing his hands up, “Or how else will people know we're behind it, like you want?”

That got Sirius going: imagine doing the prank and no one knowing it was down to the Marauders. _The horror._ He quickly sprinted over to his trunk, pulling out clothes haphazardly as James leapt into the bathroom, snapping the door shut with a click.

The sun was just rising as the four of them made their way downstairs. They didn't go into the Great Hall: it was still too early for breakfast after all, as they'd planned. They headed outside, standing either side of the great doors into the Entrance Hall.

Sirius pulled his wand out and looked over to see the other three doing the same. They exchanged excited grins then raised their hands and shouted out the last part of the spell.

“ _Portus Exitus!_ ”

There was a zinging sound followed by a long quiet.

“Who wants to check?” James asked. Sirius didn't hesitate: he bounded through the doors. Normally going through the doors would take him into the Entrance Hall, like you'd expect; but now when he stepped through them he appeared in their dormitory at the top of Gryffindor Tower. He laughed and sprinted back out.

“It worked!”

“Yes!” Remus shouted, pumping his fist exuberantly. Peter beamed and James ran past Sirius to look himself. He came sprinting back out a second later, great big grin on his face.

“We're bloody brilliant,” he shouted, waving his arms like a maniac, “Marauders for the win!”

“Check the bathroom door,” Remus said and headed in himself. Sirius followed and, once back in their dorm, watched as Remus walked through the door that usually led to the bathroom. There was a shout from outside and then Remus's head reappeared, this time from the door that usually led to the stairs but which now led back outside.

He was grinning widely, “James is right: we _are_ bloody brilliant!”

Sirius laughed then headed over to the bathroom door himself. He swung it open and stepped through. The door which once led from their dorm to the bathroom now led directly outside, through what ought to be the Entrance Hall exterior doors. He whooped loudly.

“But will all the other dorms be the same?” Peter asked nervously. Remus nodded.

“They should,” he said, “As long as we got all of them last night.”

“We did,” James said confidently, “Peter and you did Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff; and Sirius and I did Slytherin as well as all the staff rooms. We got them all, right?”

Remus nodded, and Sirius noticed his hands shake slightly in anticipation, “We did, but there's only one way to be sure.”

Sirius clapped a hand on his shoulder, “They'll be coming through soon, Remus, no need to worry.”

“I'm not worried,” Remus retorted, shoving his hand off, but still smiling nonetheless.

“Come on,” James said, “Let's sit where we've got the best view.”

“You've got the parchment with names and times?” Remus asked and Sirius swore.

“One sec,” he cried and hurried back into their dorm, rummaging around under his bed to pull the wide piece of parchment out before hurrying back out. He waved it in their faces. “Got it!”

“Brilliant,” James said and settled down a decent distance away from the front steps, on the way to the lake, “So now we wait.”

“Now we wait.”

The sun rose and then the first bleary-eyed students emerged from the castle. Still in their pyjamas and yawning profusely, they blinked, shocked when they felt the bright sunlight on their faces. Sirius stifled a snigger as they looked about for the bathroom they were supposed to be in before noticing the Marauders sitting a fair distance away.

“That's Cheddars and Brottleby from Ravenclaw,” Peter said looking down at the parchment where the two students names had appeared with the time next to it. The two Ravenclaws looked at each other, frowned, then walked back inside. A moment later, they reappeared, deeply confused.

Then they came striding over to the Marauders, frowning deeply.

“What's going on?” Cheddars asked, looking down on them all imperiously. He was a prefect, wasn't he? Sirius looked over to Remus who beamed up at the authority figure with a mischievous look.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Remus said, “Why are you outside in your pyjamas at this time?”

Sirius snorted. He bloody loved Lupin. The prefect scowled then looked over to the doors where more people were now piling out.

“Seems like quarter past seven is peak time,” Peter said, analysing the parchment critically. James was in fits beside him. Sirius snorted as he watched a gaggle of Slytherins run back inside then out once more, getting more and more frustrated.

“This is quite something, isn't it,” Remus said, as though he were merely observing a strange potions experiment.

“I haven't got my make-up on,” a Hufflepuff fifth-year boy cried, delirious, “I can't be seen like this!” He yelped and charged back through the doors into his dorm. Several other students seemed equally concerned about being seen without their faces on, also following the boy back inside.

Sirius sniggered. This was exceptional. Remus was a genius. It had been his idea, after all. The spells had taken a lot reading and studying in the library, and then hours practising wand movements together. But it had been totally worth it, Sirius decided, as he saw Snape stumble out of the doors, duckling pyjamas too short round his ankles.

“Alright Snivellus!” James called and Snape looked over to them, confused. He blinked then blushed, glowering angrily at the Marauders before rushing back inside. _Brilliant_.

But then teachers started to appear.

At first it was hilarious, watching Slughorn gaze about blearily in his long Victorian night-gown, or Dumbledore, in his equally ridiculous sleepwear, closing his eyes and enjoying the surprise sunshine.

But then McGonagall appeared. And she was furious, knowing instantly who to turn to. The only dressed students by the lake as they were, they were easy to spot amidst the throngs of partially awake pyjama-clad students.

“POTTER! BLACK!” McGonagall cried, and not even her cat spotted silk pyjamas could make her fury any lesser to behold as she stormed over. “What have you done?”

She towered over them and Sirius turned on the charm.

“You look lovely as always, my dear Minnie,” he said and next to him Remus groaned, “Those pyjamas look simply divine on you.”

McGonagall didn't smile. Her lip didn't quirk. She didn't laugh. Her face became stony.

“My office,” she hissed, “Now.”

“Er,” Remus began but even his innocent facade couldn't stop McGonagall's rage.

“No, Lupin,” she turned on him, “You are just as guilty here. And you too Pettigrew,” she added turning to Peter who was looking downright terrified.

“But professor,” Remus continued valiantly, “How, er, how exactly do we _get_ to your office?”

Sirius had never seen McGonagall look at anyone in the way she looked at Lupin in that moment. His innocent reputation was well and truly destroyed, wasn't it?

“Please tell me, Mr Lupin,” she said, her voice ominously quiet, “That you didn't undertake a spell of this proportion without knowing the counter-charm?”

There was a long silence. Ah, Sirius thought: this was _not_ good. Remus swallowed audibly.

“I can't, professor,” Remus said, voice hoarse. McGonagall's eyes flashed and her nostrils flared and Sirius was worried that she might just turn them all too dust, right here right now; but then Professor Dumbledore appeared.

“And are these the mischief makers themselves?” The headmaster asked, sweeping over, his long night robes fluttering out behind him. McGonagall nodded stiffly. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

“Not to worry though, Professor McGonagall,” he said chirpily, “It is an easy enough counter-charm, is it not?”

“Hm,” McGonagall said, still staring daggers at each of the Marauders in turn.

“And it _is_ the end of term, is it not,” Dumbledore added. McGonagall nodded, albeit reluctantly. “It does not seem fair to be overly harsh on the last day.” He said. McGonagall looked as though she might disagree with him on that point but then she sighed and turned away.

“Very well, headmaster,” she said, “I'll go help Flitwick undo their mischief and leave them to you.”

“Very good,” Dumbledore said with a smile. “And professor?”

McGonagall paused and looked back, confused, “What is it, Albus?” She sounded incredibly done.

“Your pyjamas are very nice,” he said, innocently. McGonagall closed her eyes, as though willing the universe to give her strength, then forced a smile.

“Thank you, headmaster.” And she walked stiffly away.

Sirius shuffled uneasily from where he sat on the grass.

“Up you get, boys,” Dumbledore said, and they did, stretching their legs to get some proper feeling back into their limbs as they did.

At that moment, Lily Evans came bombarding over, face like a wet weekend. She didn't seem to see the headmaster, too obsessed with berating them as she was.

“You lot are the very worst!” She cried, folding her arms and glaring at them all. Sirius bit back a smirk at the sight of her bright pink bunny-clad pyjamas: they clashed horribly with her red hair but no doubt someone at some point had told her they suited her because she seemed quite unashamed of them.

“I can't believe this,” she went on. Dumbledore was smiling, eyes twinkling, from behind her. She had still not noticed him yet. “Just wait till McGonagall gets her hands on you. You'll be expelled for sure, and Dumbledore, he'll definitely - ”

“What is it that I'll be doing, Ms Evans?” Professor Dumbledore asked benignly from behind her. Evans froze, her expression horrified as she slowly turned to meet the twinkling blue gaze of the headmaster.

Sirius sniggered and Remus punched him, hard, which quickly shut him up. Sirius stared at him, wide-eyed: what was the problem? This was absolutely hilarious.

“P-p-professor?” Evans stuttered out and Dumbledore beamed.

“I have had the most brilliant idea,” he said chirpily, “Seeing as Ms Evans here is so aware of the problems with what you four have done, how about this? She be the one to decide your punishment, and also the one to oversee it.”

Oh dear Merlin no. _No._

Sirius stared at the headmaster, eyes wide: he couldn't be serious. But Dumbledore had that look in his eye, that twinkle in the blue. Sirius turned to catch James's eye but the other boy was too busy staring, horrified, at Lily Evans.

“Lily,” James said weakly but she ignored him. _She_ was too busy staring, horrified, at Professor Dumbledore.

“Y-you can't be serious, can you?”

“I believe _he_ is Sirius,” Dumbledore said without hesitation, gesturing to Sirius with a smug grin. No one groaned as they would were it anyone else making that joke. No one laughed either. All five of them were stupefied into silence.

Dumbledore bounced on his toes, hands behind his back like a happy toddler, “Well then.” He said, “I'll give you till after breakfast to come up with a suitable punishment, Ms Evans.”

He gave them all a happy nod before turning on his heels and spinning up the slope to where the other teachers were busy waving their wands. He joined them, and within a matter of seconds there was a tell-tale popping sound of the castle doorways righting themselves.

Peter was the first to break the silence engulfing the five of them. “Lily,” he said in a painfully polite voice, “We're all very sorry for disturbing your morning,” he carried on in a forced voice, “Please don't...”

He trailed off, but it was a valiant effort Sirius thought sadly. Evans's eyes flashed and she pulled herself up to her full height. “We shall see what I decide, now, won't we? After breakfast, Dumbledore said.” She gave them a sickeningly sweet smile, “Enjoy your meal.”

And then she too disappeared back up the slope.

“Well fuck.”

Sirius looked over to Remus and nodded in agreement. Well fuck, indeed.

***

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Well, it was a loud affair: the Great Hall was booming as students chattered excitedly about the events of the early morning, and many were giving the Marauders awed and wondering looks. But the Marauders themselves were quiet. Eventually though, James broke the silence.

“I mean, trust Evans to ruin our epic prank.”

“She hardly ruined it, James,” Remus replied, “It went off beautifully. We all knew there'd be repercussions.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, feeling bloody terrible and annoyed about it, “But we didn't think that Lily bloody Evans, of all people, would be the one handing out the repercussions now did we?”

“Better than McGonagall,” Remus said bitterly, “Did you see her face? I've never seen her look at anyone like that, never thought I would, least of all directed at me!”

Sirius snorted at that, “Secrets out Lupin,” he said, clapping his friend on the back, “McGonagall knows you're not as sweet as your face now.”

Remus huffed but said nothing.

***

After they'd all finished eating, Dumbledore came over, Evans in tow. He beamed down at them all, as though they weren't in deep _deep_ trouble.

“All finished, boys?” He asked, happily. The four of them nodded. “Good, good.” He smiled then clapped a hand on Evans's shoulder. She was beaming smugly. “Ms Evans has come up with your punishment, but first, wands to me.”

He held out his hand. Reluctantly the four of them handed over their wands. “Good, good,” Dumbledore said, “It's just a precaution of course, but we can't have you four up to more trouble now, can we? Ms Evans, will you tell them their punishment?”

“Yes,” she said, and folded her arms, “You're to scour clean the main Potions classroom.”

Eurgh, Sirius thought: how unimaginative.

“Great,” James said, “That all?”

Evans flushed, “Well I'll be monitoring you, Potter. So there.”

The four of them exchanged morose looks. As uninspired a punishment as this was, it was undoubtedly going to suck: their last day and they were to be stuck down in the dungeons with Lily Evans.

“Well off you pop then,” Dumbledore said, smiling, “And it goes without saying that Ms Evans is in charge.”

Evans beamed. Sirius groaned, but the four of them got to their feet and followed her past Dumbledore, out of the Great Hall, and down to the dungeons below.

In the Potions classroom, the tables had all been vanished away and four buckets stood in the middle of the floor, long wooden mops free-standing in each. Professor Slughorn came bustling out of his office, gave Evans an endeared smile and turned to the Marauders, chuckling to himself.

“Oh boys,” he said with a smile, “You really are very naughty.” He wagged a plump finger at them before heading over to the door. “You should never cross a lady like Ms Evans.”

Evans beamed at that. Sirius rolled his eyes. Slughorn left the dungeon, the door clicking shut behind him as he left.

Lily turned to them all, arms crossed. “Well then,” she said, gesturing to the mops, “Get to it.”

The boys set to work. Sirius watched as Lily propped herself down on a stool, opened a book and started to read. Bloody _nerd_.

The four Marauders started off well enough but after half an hour of mopping the stained stone floors, Sirius got bored. So he flicked James with water. James gasped and, with a half look towards Lily, flicked water back at Sirius.

Remus drew a sharp intake of breath from nearby and subtly shook his head at the two of them, but Remus was always easy to ignore when Sirius wanted to. He chanced a half-glance at Lily, then scooped up some more water and chucked it at James. James spluttered and flicked him back.

“Stop it Potter,” Lily hissed and Sirius bit back a laugh: this reminded him of that detention with Remus where McGonagall had only caught Sirius breaking rules, only now _he_ was the one getting away with it and James was the one unfairly in trouble.

James held up his hands in defence, “It was Sirius too, Evans, you saw!”

“I don't care about Black,” Lily retorted, “I'm talking to you. Now get back to it.”

James huffed, but did as he was told. Sirius, however, had other ideas. How far could he push this apparent blindness on Evans's part to his rebelliousness? He chanced a look at Remus but the other boy wasn't paying attention: he was staring at Lily with a strange look on his face.

Not Sirius's problem.

Instead he picked up his entire bucket of water and chucked it over James's head. James yelled loudly and Evans gasped. Oh dear, Sirius thought: she had definitely seen him do that, hadn't she? He looked over to her but she was glowering at James still, dripping wet though he was.

“Oh come off it, Evans,” James yelped, “You _saw_ him tip an entire bucket of water over me!”

But Evans seemed intent on hating James, “Watch it Potter,” she hissed, “You're such a trouble-maker.”

“But Black did this to me!” James roared, indignant. Sirius looked between the two of them, frowning slightly. For some reason this didn't seem quite the same as when Remus had got away with it in detention that time. Something else was at play here. Evans was almost trembling with rage.

“You're a no good tosser, Potter,” Evans cried, looking close to tears. Sirius chanced a look at Remus who had suddenly gone very pale.

“Lily,” Remus said softly, “It's just water. And Sirius _was_ the one to throw it.”

Evans looked at him then at Sirius before looking at James one last time. She looked confused, as though her own reaction was beyond her comprehension. She struggled with words for a long moment then wagged a finger at them all. It would almost be comical were it not so... _not_ comical.

“I'm getting McGonagall.”

And with that, she turned on her heel and flounced out of the room.

“What the bloody hell was that about?” James asked, turning to the others in confusion. Sirius shrugged: he had no bloody idea, but Remus still had a strange look on his face.

“What is it?” Sirius asked.

Remus swallowed and readjusted his grip on his mop. “I think Lily Evans is racist.”

“What?”

“Don't be absurd,” James said, rubbing uncomfortably at his neck. Sirius frowned: racism was a nasty muggle thing about judging people on their skin colour, wasn't it? Lily _was_ a muggle after all. But then she was friends with MacDonald who was black so surely she couldn't be racist, right?

Remus look like he'd eaten something nasty. “I think she is. Why else would she treat James like that, and not Sirius?”

There was a long silence. Sirius looked down at his own incredibly pale-white hands then over to James's rich-brown complexion. He swallowed, a horrible trickling sensation going down his back.

“It's just that Sirius has a hypnotic charm, surely,” Peter suggested, “James just doesn't have it so...” He trailed off, unsure.

“It could be,” Remus said slowly, “But from what she's told me about her parents, and her sister...” He hesitated, “It would be naïve to think she'd avoided all that, wouldn't it? If she were raised by the same people who raised Petunia, her sister. Right?”

Sirius didn't know what to say. He didn't know anything about the Evans family like Remus clearly did, and he didn't like criticising muggles anyway. As a pure-blood, he didn't feel like it was his place: his parents certainly did enough of it as it was, though whenever muggle racism had been brought up, they hadn't looked down their noses quite as much.

Sirius shifted. This whole conversation made him feel very uncomfortable. He looked over to James who looked how he felt: nervous and unsure, and deeply uncomfortable.

“No one's ever been...” James began, “I mean, I've never come across...”

“Yeah, but that's cos nearly all wizards aren't racist,” Remus said, “Sure - muggle culture sometimes dribbles over but wizards don't care about skin colour in the same way white muggles do.”

“White muggles like Lily's family,” Peter said slowly, frowning, “I think Mary mentioned it a bit when we were, well, you know. But I didn't really get it. I mean, my dad was a white muggle but he bloody abandoned us didn't he so...” He trailed off, biting his lip. “And anyway, I'm white. So I guess I wouldn't really... get it.”

James blinked, “Well I'm not white and _I_ don't get it.”

“Well that's cos you've been sheltered from it all,” Remus said firmly, “You've always been firmly in the wizarding world. You're a pure-blood. You barely interact with muggles and wouldn't feel muggle racism till...”

“Till Lily Evans.”

The silence was deeply long and uncomfortable. Sirius didn't like it one bit. As much as he disliked Evans, and all the girls really, thinking of her as a bigot didn't sit well. He didn't know what to say.

“I think Mary gets a bit upset with her,” Peter said then shrugged, “But surely if Lily was racist like that then Mary, who's black, wouldn't put up with her.”

“Well yeah,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, “But Mary's a bloody angel isn't she? And I think even Lily doesn't really realise it.”

“So she's racist but doesn't know.” James didn't sound convinced.

Remus shrugged. “It's how it manages to permeate so thoroughly.”

Sirius looked at Remus for a long moment, then a thought hit him, “But how do you know all this?”

Remus blushed, “My mum. She's mixed. I mean, she's very light. She pretty much passes as white, but her father had a lot of trouble when he first arrived in Wales so...” He trailed off, looking a bit uncomfortable.Sirius felt a jolt of guilt: Remus's mother was sick, seriously so. He wouldn't want to talk about her.

“I'm sure she'll grow out of it,” Peter said suddenly, “Lily, I mean. She's here now and, like you said, wizards don't really have racism in the same way, do we? So surely she'll grow out of it.”

“Yeah,” James said, looking deeply relieved, “And anyway, it hardly seems like our business.”

“So whose business is it?” Remus asked, frowning deeply.

“Muggles,” Sirius suggested and Remus glowered at him.

“A muggle problem for muggles to deal with then?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Ugh,” Remus said and rolled his eyes, “You're such a bloody pure-blood sometimes.”

Sirius felt a jolt of anger. He folded his arms, “And what is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Doesn't matter,” Remus said. “Let's just get this done, then we can go back to enjoying our last day.”

“No,” Sirius said, throwing his mop down, “You're going to explain what the hell you meant!”

“Oh leave it Sirius,” James said, rubbing uncertainly at his neck, “We're all feeling a bit weird after Evans. Just leave him be.”

Sirius bristled, feeling indignant beyond belief. He glowered at Remus, “Fine.” He turned back to his mopping, stabbing the floor with as much force as he could muster.

Everything felt weird and strange and he didn't like it one bit. Evans should've got mad at him, not James; or at least get mad at the two of them together. It had been his fault after all. He started it.

About ten minutes later and McGonagall appeared with a pink-faced Evans in tow and, on finding them hard at work mopping the floors, turned to Evans, eyebrows raised. “Well, Ms Evans? What seems to be the problem?”

Evans squirmed under McGonagall's intense gaze, “Well... they were splashing each other.”

“Hm,” McGonagall said then cast her steely gaze over the four of them, “Well, they seem hard at work now, Ms Evans.” She sniffed, “I hope you're managing alright with the responsibility Dumbledore has placed on you.”

Evans looked very unsure. She glanced at James then looked quickly away, uncertain. Sirius felt his lip curl: he couldn't feel any pity for her right now. Stupid racist girl. McGonagall sighed then looked back to the four of them, her gaze softening.

“Alright, you four,” she said, “I'm sure Professor Slughorn will be more than happy with your work here. Go and enjoy the remains of the day.”

“Really, professor?” James asked, excited. McGonagall smiled.

“Yes, Mr Potter,” she said, “I think you've learnt your lesson. And no one was hurt with your harmless prank after all, were they?”

“No professor,” James said, grinning widely. Sirius smiled, feeling oddly relieved that the usual happy James was back: he really hadn't liked what Evans had done to him. She'd really made them all feel awful and Sirius doubted he was going to forget _that_ all too soon.

He glanced over to Remus. By the looks of the contemptuous expression Remus had as he stared at the red-head, it looked like he wouldn't forget it soon either. James, however, seemed back to his usual happy bouncing self. Racism be damned, Sirius thought, glowering at Lily Evans: nothing could hold James Potter down.

But as the four of them headed back out into the sunshine, Sirius felt his stomach sink. It was late in the day and tomorrow he would be home, back in his mother's grasp for the two months of summer.

Still he thought, watching Remus pull James into a friendly headlock, they had this afternoon, glorious and bright, and unblemished by Evans and her muggle racism. The lake was shimmering and there was a light breeze.

He threw his arm over Pete's shoulder and then the other round James's shoulder, pulling his brown-skinned friend tightly against him. Remus flung his arm round James from the other side and Sirius smiled as their arms brushed against each other over James's back.

Hogwarts would be waiting for him, and his three best mates too. The summer would end, as all terrible things do, and then their second year would start. The Marauders Eternal: nothing could hold them back.

Watch out Hogwarts: the Marauders four are just getting started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends their first year! 
> 
> Thank you for reading – next chapter will be on Friday.
> 
> Concerning Lily Evans: she was raised in 1960's England by the same muggle parents who raised Petunia Dursley. She's white. Therefore, I find it hard to believe that she didn't completely escape some internalising of the ideology of white supremacy (racism) and so I want to explore that by having it called out and challenged, and so have her grow and change, realising it in all its horror. 
> 
> Criticism, especially from people of colour, is very welcome and important to me on that, and all aspects of this fic in fact. But I realise that AO3 can be a very white website and you might not feel comfortable commenting here so I'm on tumblr @thesecretwordsmith and take anonymous asks if you'd prefer to raise concerns that way.
> 
> TL;DR (in quote form)...
> 
> me, the white writer: *starts strongly identifying with Lily “nice white girl” Evans*
> 
> Lily's story arc: *becomes focused on race, racism and challenging the internalised ideology of white supremacy*
> 
> me, the white writer: … huh...


	12. August 1972: MARY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW 1: Exploration of race and racism by a white writer: this chapter is from the POV of a black girl who [SPOILERS] calls out a white girl's racism and when the white girl seems to get it, chooses to maintain that friendship. Also, none of this is beta'd so I, your basic white girl, am the only person who has read this before updating. So I totally understand if you just want to walk away right now but I also really hope you don't.
> 
> CW 2: Physical child abuse by a parent.
> 
> Lily and Mary centric but we have Sirius and Remus in the latter half so hold on to your wolfstar hats, the plot is a-foot!

**August 1972**

_MARY._

It was warm and breezy, the sun sinking gently down in the west as the wedding reception began to turn from formal dinner to upbeat after-party. Mary and Lily sat on a low wall outside the large Tudor house, admiring the ornamental garden beyond.

“I've had a lovely time,” Lily said, her voice bright and genuine, the stiffness of her initial bearing when meeting all of Mary's very black family quite gone. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Mary smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes she was sure. She was feeling a little upset with Lily to be perfectly honest. Most of her extended family hadn't been fazed by the white girl's very distant politeness, but Mary's parents, and her sisters too – those who were in the know about Hogwarts and magic – were a little put out by it.

From what Mary had told them about the wizarding world, they were under the happy impression that racism just didn't exist there. So meeting Lily, Mary's supposed best friend from school, and finding out she was Like That, had been strange for them.

Her oldest sister, Janey (who was now Mrs Jane Spencer) had frowned when Lily shook her hand whilst keeping a painfully obvious distance, the white girl blatantly ignoring Janey's attempt at genuine friendly connection. Mary didn't like it one bit: it was one thing Lily being occasionally Like That at school with just her, but to do it to her sister on her wedding day was another thing entirely.

Mary loved her sisters and did not like the way Lily had treated Janey on her wedding day one bit.

But she didn't know how to bring it up. They'd talked about racism before of course, and though Lily had seemed very open and understanding at the time, it had quickly been brushed under the carpet to be ignored by the red-head completely. Mary hadn't even tried bringing it up again when Lily had been so obvious with her intense and specific dislike of James Potter, the one Gryffindor boy in their year who was not white.

It was very frustrating.

How did you point out someone's racism when they were so blatantly certain that they could not in any circumstance be a racist? It wasn't something you were, Mary thought sadly: it was something you did. To other people. You hurt other people, and with Lily, she often wasn't even aware of it.

“Lily,” Mary said after a long moment of silence, “I... I think you owe my sister an apology.”

Lily blinked and looked over to her, offended innocence writ clearly on her pale face. It was almost comical in its caricature-like nature: over-blown, overdone. But Mary didn't find it funny.

“I don't know what you mean,” Lily said, eyes wide, “Have I done something to offend her?”

“You've been super weird with everyone,” Mary ploughed on, determined, “Keeping them all at a polite distance. I don't...” she trailed off. The moment she mentioned the words black or white or race, things were going to get difficult. Lily had no bloody idea, did she?

“Oh, I'm sorry,” Lily said, not sounding sorry at all. Mary kinda wanted to hit her for that.

“Don't do that.”

“Do what?”

“Say sorry when you're not.”

“Well, Mary,” Lily said, raising her chin imperiously, “I'm struggling to see what I've done wrong. You said yourself that I've been polite.”

“You've been cold,” Mary said sharply, “Cold and rude and aloof. My sister won't say it cos she's an angel, but you've hurt her feelings on her wedding day and I can't stand for that, Lily. I swear I can't.”

She got to her feet, gave Lily one last biting look then strode off into the ornamental garden. She didn't expect Lily to follow her. She'd probably go to the nearest phone box and call home about her nasty black friend being mean to her, and then Janey's wedding would really be ruined.

Mary swore loudly: she couldn't let that happen. She was about to head back to apologise, even though she knew that Lily was the one in the wrong, but determined nevertheless that Lily's white girl drama would _not_ ruin her sister's wedding. But when she turned round, she came face to face with a bright red Lily. Clearly the girl had followed her.

“My sister saw you and...” Lily began then looked down, “When you and your dad came to pick me up yesterday. She said...” Lily trailed off and looked away, clearly hoping that they could move on but Mary was _not_ going to let this slide. Not today. No way.

“Say it.”

Lily looked up and swallowed, her gulp audible in the quiet summer evening. “She said she didn't realise my best friend from school would be one of those.”

_One of those._ Black, she meant. Mary stared at her friend. “And what did you say to that?”

Lily looked up, that stupid wide-eyed expression on her face again, “I... I didn't say anything.”

Mary swallowed, biting back tears now. That hurt.

That really  _really_ hurt: not what Lily's stupid racist sister had said. But that Lily had done nothing: she had let it stand. Lily had heard her sister say something so bloody racist, targeted at Mary specifically, and she had done nothing. She had done absolutely  _nothing at all_ .

“Great, thanks for that,” Mary said curtly, “It's great to know that you stand against all forms of bigotry, not just the ones that target you personally.”

“Mary!” Lily looked horrified. “I...”

“Save it Lily,” Mary hissed out, angry and hurt, “I... I can't believe you. You told me how much it hurt when Snape did nothing, said nothing, when Mulciber was being bigoted against muggle-borns; but when it comes to your sister being racist – _racist,_ Lily – against me and my family. You do nothing. You say nothing.”

“Mary, please,” Lily said in a small voice. She was crying. Great, Mary thought: now I'm the bully.

“You're a hypocrite Lily Evans,” she said sharply, crying herself now, “And I can't believe I put up with it. Hogwarts was an escape, a beautiful magical unreal escape from our stupid racist mundane society. And you bloody ruin it, Evans. _You._ ”

Lily wiped at her tears then grabbed a hold of her own wrists tightly, no doubt trying to force herself to stop shaking.

Mary clenched her fists.

“My parents don't understand you, Lily, because I haven't told them a single word about you. When I first told them about Hogwarts, the magic wasn't the most surreal part of it: it was the total lack of racism amongst wizards that really put them in awe. They could hardly believe it. They walked down Diagon Alley and there were no looks, no judgement, no one stopped them in the shops to check on them. There was none of that. And _that_ was the real magic.” 

Mary took a deep breath in. She had to: she had barely drawn in any air during her talk. “And you, bloody  _you,_ Lily Evans, ruin that completely. You burst the bubble. You take away that magic with your stupid muggle racism.”

Lily wasn't crying now. She was quite still, looking at Mary with a frown. It was hard to read, but there was none of that false politeness now; none of that brushing it under the carpet.

Mary wiped at her own eyes, wet with tears, and sighed. She felt bloody exhausted and part of her wanted to go crying to her mum, but she couldn't do that: she didn't want her mum to worry. Mary was supposed to be the one that her parents didn't need to worry about: she was the one who had managed to escape racism. She was the one who was supposed to be alright, supposed to be safe.

There was a long silence. Then Lily sat down on the grass, crinkling her fancy dress, her brows still furrowed, deep in thought.

“I'm thinking,” she said after awhile. Were it a different time, a kinder situation, Mary would probably say something like _don't strain yourself._ But she didn't now.

Instead she sank down next to Lily, and leaned back against the well-trimmed box-hedge they were sat against. She was so bloody tired. She glanced over to Lily: the red-head was sitting there quietly, a deep frown still on her pale face.

“I'm sorry,” she said after awhile, and looked over to Mary, “I know that doesn't... I know I can't... I... I _am_ sorry.”

Mary sighed: the apology felt genuine now, but what good was it really? How long would it hold for before the next time Lily said something, or did something Like That? Or someone else did and she said absolutely _nothing at all._

“When we first met and I kept playing with your hair.”

“Oh yeah, because _that_ wasn't disrespectful at all,” Mary snorted and Lily flinched.

“Right, I deserve that,” she said and bit her lip, “That was bad. Even I can see that.”

Mary sighed and nodded. She was so tired but it seemed like Lily was getting there, albeit painfully slowly.

“You shouldn't need to do this, should you?” Lily asked softly. Mary nodded. It was very slow for sure, but still: Lily seemed to be getting there, wherever _there_ was exactly. “Should I apologise to your sister?”

Mary raised her eyebrows. Lily looked away, cheeks flushing pink and she nodded, stiffly. “Right. Right.”

“But don't take up too much of her time, alright?” Mary said firmly, “She's having a good night, celebrating her wedding. It's the happiest day of her life. You're just her little sister's strange friend.”

Lily snorted and nodded, nervous. “Yeah, I guess I am.” She paused and the two girls looked at each other. Mary sighed: she had no idea what she herself looked like, but Lily's eyes were still red. That wouldn't do.

“Let's sort ourselves out before we head back in,” she said, getting to her feet and wiping her dress down, “We'll wash up in the toilets. Make sure we look presentable.”

Lily nodded. Mary bit her lip then offered the other girl her hand. Lily took it gratefully and scrambled to her feet.

“Come on then.”

And the two of them headed back inside.

***

Two days later and Mary was in Diagon Alley with Lily and both their mums. Mrs Evans was very stiff and polite with Mary's mum and it was awkward, to say the least, especially as Lily's mum was the only person in the entirety of Diagon Alley treating Louise MacDonald any different.

But Lily herself seemed better, much better. She asked Mary's mother, Louise, lots of genuine questions about her family back in the Caribbean and listened actively and happily to the very  _long_ answers her mother gave. Mary snorted: her mum missed the Caribbean - there was no denying it. 

Mary's dad, however, had lived his whole life in the UK, growing up near Aberdeen before moving to London for his academic career. He would always say that he'd never leave Britain, no matter what.

“I'll go when the royal family does,” he would say seriously whenever her mother brought it up.

They still spent holidays with her grandparents in St Kitts though: days spent with the sun and sea, and laughing cousins who didn't have to put up with a certain type of British racism.

“Is that all your books Mary?” Her mum asked in the now, snapping Mary out of her ponderings. She glanced up and nodded.

“Think so,” she said and turned to Lily, “Have you got all yours too?”

“Yeah,” Lily said from behind a towering pile of books. “Is my mum near the till then?”

Mary glanced round the corner of a bookshelf and nodded, “Yeah, I see her.”

“Cool,” Lily huffed and moved along the shelf towards her mother. Mary bit back a laugh. Lily was trying to carry their entire course load for second year in one go. At least Mary and Louise had the tremendous stack of books shared out between them.

“Honestly, Mary,” her mum said, “That girl is a one.”

“Yeah, she is,” Mary replied.

“You know, I thought she would be just like those white girls at your primary school, what with her being muddle and all.”

“It's muggle, mum,” Mary said, with a sigh, “And those girls weren't _so_ bad.”

“Hmph,” Louise said, “You're too nice for your own good, Mary.”

“I know,” Mary said, putting on a slightly overdone innocent smile, “I'm an angel.”

Louise MacDonald snorted, then looked back to where Lily had reached her mum, “But I did think she was a bit... well... strange, at Janey's wedding. Do you know if she was feeling alright?”

Mary said nothing for a moment. Lily had apologised to Janey as Mary had suggested at the wedding, and she'd been much better after that. But her parents, who'd avoided the worst of Lily's whiteness before her and Mary's talk, just thought she'd been a bit under the weather.

It was a false impression that Mary was not going to pull away. It was better like this: she knew how happy it made her parents that Mary was in this magical wizarding world without racist white people, and there was no way in hell she'd burst that particular bubble.

Lily Evans was her friend. Things were complicated, but Mary had made a choice to not give up on her just yet. Lily  _had_ been so good after things had ended between Mary and Peter, and Mary  _knew_ she could be incredibly kind and brave. So. 

“Oh mum, didn't I tell you?” she said, answering her mother's question, “I think her first period had just started.”

“Ah, poor lamb,” Louise said. Mary bit her tongue: Lily Evans owed her big time for this.

The MacDonald women went up and paid for their books and Mary loved the way her mother was grinning at the welcoming service they got.

“It's so nice to just be able to shop without people looking to see if you're about to pinch something,” Louise whispered to her daughter as they gathered their bags to leave. Mary smiled and nodded.

“Right?”

“Oh Mary,” her mum sighed, hesitating by the exit. She placed her hand against her daughter's cheek and smiled. Mary was slightly embarrassed to see her mum looked close to tears, “I'm so proud of you, love.” She said, “And so happy too. This is all just so,” she gestured around to Diagon Alley and perhaps the entire wizarding world as a whole, “So wonderful.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“You must make the most of it.” Her mum raised her eyebrows, the beginning of a lecture no doubt on her lips if Mary disagreed. But why would she disagree with that?

She nodded, fervently, “I bloody well intend to.”

Her mum laughed. “Language,” she said but they both knew she wasn't really telling her off.

They went outside, meeting back up with the Evans women before they all started heading up the street towards the Leaky Cauldron.

And that's when Mary saw Sirius Black.

She blinked then turned to nudge Lily. The red-head turned, confused, and Mary gestured to where Black stood with a group of people who were undoubtedly his family.

A severe woman – his mother, no doubt – stood tall and straight, looking out over the street as though she owned it, clawed hand grasped on a boy who could only be Sirius's brother with how similar the two looked. And then there was Sirius's father.

Mary shuddered: she couldn't ever imagine being terrified of her own sweet-tempered dad in the way that Sirius Black was so clearly terrified of his.

The man was tall and pale, cheekbones prominent as he towered over his son, not shouting, but talking darkly to him. Sirius was staring at his feet, clearly trying to make himself look as small as possible. He looked so unlike himself it was actually disconcerting.

Mary and Lily exchanged a nervous look and slowed down, letting their mothers walk on ahead, so that they could watch.

Mary distantly heard Lily's mum ask her own mother if she was able to afford all the wizard equipment and both girls physically winced. Lily smiled awkwardly when they both noticed the other had done the exact same thing.

“Sorry 'bout her,” she said, gesturing forwards to her mum. Mary shrugged then nodded back to Black: he was why they'd slowed down after all.

“I don't think he has a particularly happy home life, do you?”

Lily shook her head. At that moment Black's mother caught sight of the two girls looking and her lip curled in contempt. She spoke loudly over her shoulder to the man, staring directly at both girls as she did.

“Come Orion, here is not the place to discuss such matters,” she said, lip curling even more, “Not in the sight of mudbloods.”

Mary frowned:  _mudblood_ . That was a word to describe muggle-borns, wasn't it? She'd heard a Ravenclaw sixth-year mutter it at her and Lily when they'd walked past one day at school.

Lily was trembling next to her, but Mary had grown up black in white middle-class London. This pure-blood bigoted bitch would have to come up with something more original than  _mudblood_ to scare her off. 

She narrowed her eyes at the woman then, overcome with a rush of Gryffindor madness, stuck her tongue out and pulled a face.

“Mary!” Lily sounded torn between horror and joy.

Mrs Black drew herself up to her full height and, as she did, Sirius's head popped round her back. His eyes bulged when he saw Mary standing there, tongue outstretched as she pulled faces at his mother. She caught his eye and winked. Sirius blinked, then his mouth stretched into a bright grin – now  _that_ was more like the Sirius Black she knew.

“See you at school, Mary,” Sirius called, waving madly at them both. His mother turned on him and whacked him, hard, round the face.

Mary felt herself go cold. What the bloody hell sort of parenting was  _that_ ?

“Oh my god,” Lily hissed from beside her, and Mary turned to see her friend's pale face had gone even paler.

“Come on,” she said, taking the other girl by the arm, “I think our presence might make things harder for him.”

“Because we're muggle-born?”

Mary nodded stiffly, and dragged Lily away. “Let's not make things worse.”

“But she bloody well hit him,” Lily hissed turning round, “And oh my god Mary, he's bleeding! She must've had some bloody great big ring on or something.”

“Come on,” Mary pulled her firmly. “We're the reason. We're muggle-borns and they're bigots, and just, if you want to help him, we should get away.”

Lily, albeit clearly reluctant, let Mary pull her back up the street to where their mothers were standing waiting for them by the Leaky Cauldron.

“Mum,” Lily said, “That woman down there just hit her son right in the face. He's in our house at school, and it was... she made his face bleed!”

Mrs Evans looked shocked but Mary's mother frowned more shrewdly. She looked at Mary, “Were they the wizarding bigot sort, Mary?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Mary said. Her mother knew all about this and though her parents weren't overly-concerned about it – it was a form of bigotry that seemed more manageable than racism, at least to them – it was certainly something they worried about.

“Well, if you tell us his name then we'll write to one of your teachers about it.”

“Couldn't we go over there?” Mrs Evans asked, clearly nervous and unsure, and Mary realised instantly that Lily had been sheltering her parents from the wizarding world's bigotry completely.

“Better not, love,” Louise MacDonald said firmly, “You don't know what they'd do to us, what with their magic and all.”

Mrs Evans frowned but didn't look like she wanted to argue.

“You could write to McGonagall,” Lily suggested and Mary nodded.

“Yeah, McGonagall's really good. She'd figure something out.”

“I'm not sure,” Mrs Evans said, glancing furtively down the street, “Is it really our place though?”

“I'll write to McGonagall,” Louise said, giving Mrs Evans a half-glance, “She's your head of house, girls, isn't she?”

“Yes, Mrs MacDonald,” Lily said, “And I'm sure she'd help, or do something. She'd know _what_ to do.”

“I suppose your wizarding world doesn't have some sort of magical social services, does it?”

“Er,” Mary glanced over to Lily. She actually had no idea. Lily shrugged, looking just as clueless.

“Well, this McGonagall sounds like a sensible sort,” Mary's mum said, “I'll be sure to let her know.”

“She hit him, did she?” Mrs Evans asked. She still looked deeply reluctant to get involved.

Lily sighed and glowered at her mother. Mary felt a brief surge of pity for her red-headed friend: Mrs Evans seemed a bit spineless and though lots could be said about her daughter, at least _Lily_ was no coward – a Gryffindor through and through.

“No need to worry yourself, Carol,” Louise said firmly, “I'll write to McGonagall.” Mrs Evans looked quite relieved by this but Mary could see Lily's cheeks were slightly pink, as though she were embarrassed by her mother's response.

Mary scratched her nose and looked away -

\- to see another Gryffindor boy from their year.

Remus Lupin came out of the Leaky Cauldron, arm in arm with a round-faced woman with very curly brown hair and pale brown skin; so pale in fact that she almost looked white. He stopped when he saw the four of them standing there, then waved, directing his gaze primarily at Mary rather than Lily. Strange.

Both girls waved back and he and the woman came over.

“Hello,” he said to Mary. For some reason, Lily looked a little sheepish. What had she done now, Mary wondered?

“Alright, Lupin?”

“Yeah,” he said then gestured to his mother, “This is my mum.”

“Are you in Remus's year?” The woman asked, smiling. She had the exact same smile as Remus, Mary noticed. That seemed to be the only thing they had in common in regards to looks though: Remus had pale white skin and green eyes whilst his mother had a richer, much healthier, complexion, with matching brown eyes.

“I'm Hope,” Remus's mother said, smiling that Remus smile, “And what are your names?”

“Uh, this is Mary MacDonald and Lily Evans,” Remus told her, gesturing first to Mary then Lily.

And then Mary's mother came over, Mrs Evans in tow. “Hello,” Louis MacDonald said, and more introductions were made.

In fact, things were going along very well. Mrs Lupin was a muggle too and soon all three mums were chatting amiably about being brought into the wizarding world and the magic of it all; and then Louise MacDonald mentioned the beauty of no racism and Hope responded, talking about her own experiences of a similar sort.

Mrs Evans listened, that polite zoned-out white face appearing as the two women of colour spoke about racism.

But the conversation was good, interesting even. Hope and Louise seemed to be getting on like a house on fire, already exchanging addresses and promising to write to one another. Remus stood there awkwardly, rubbing at his nose each time Hope teased him gently.

Yes, Mary thought: things were going very well. Too well, it seemed.

And sure enough, suddenly things were going very  _very_ badly. 

The Black family walked up the street towards them. Mary saw Remus's expression freeze, a look akin to horror slowly appearing on his kind face as his eyes landed on Sirius.

She looked over at the black-haired boy. His face was still bleeding slightly from where he'd been hit, and he was wiping at it self-consciously when he caught sight of the small group standing by the Leaky Cauldron.

He froze too, and then his face briefly flickered to confusion when he saw Remus's mother standing there. What was confusing him about Hope Lupin?

Mary felt her nose wrinkle in concern, then she pulled on her mum's arm. Louise MacDonald looked away from her conversation to see the Blacks walking towards them. She took a sharp intake of breath but it was too late now to make a hasty exit.

Mrs Black stopped and looked down her nose at the group of them. “Muggles,” she said loudly, “Really. What is the world coming to?”

“Alright Hope, I was just telling Tom about...”

Mary swivelled to see a tall man, who looked so like Remus he simply _had_ to be his father, come striding out the door from the Leaky Cauldron. He stopped, brought up short at the sight of the whole group of them.

Then he saw the Blacks. His expression hardened and he moved over to his wife and son quickly, placing a reassuring hand on Hope Lupin's lower back.

“Orion.” He said curtly to Sirius's father.

“Lyall.”

There was a pregnant pause. Then Sirius's mother broke it, her lip curling disdainfully once more.

“We'll be going now,” she said, “This hardly seems the right company for a respectable wizarding family to keep.”

“Oh, my dear Walburga,” Remus's dad said coldly, “We have _very_ different ideas about what constitutes the right company.”

“Clearly,” Walburga sneered and looked down her nose at Hope, “And Lupin used to be such a well-bred name at one point.”

“Stop it, mother.”

Sirius's voice was so quiet that Mary almost missed it. Walburga turned on her son, grey eyes flashing. “ _What_ did you just say?”

Sirius tilted his head up, “Remus Lupin is my friend. And I told you to stop.” His fists were clenched at his sides and he met his mother's gaze with a heated one of his own.

“You nasty little - ”

“Walburga, calm yourself,” Orion said curtly, taking his wife's hand firmly in his own. He doesn't want her to hit Sirius in front of us, Mary thought shrewdly: that cunning bastard.

Orion Black cleared his throat and looked down his nose, grip firm on Walburga's hand, “We'll be leaving, as my wife said.”

Mr and Mrs Black swept imperiously past the group, Sirius's brother in their wake. Sirius himself, however, hesitated a moment, giving Remus a nervous grin.

“Alright Remus,” he said then gave Hope and Lyall a shaky smile too.

“You must be Sirius,” Hope said, beaming, “Remus has told us so much about you.”

“He has?” Sirius looked pleased.

Mary snorted: of course Remus had told his parents about his friends. Who wouldn't? Sirius Black had some sort of magic hypnotic charm, or so Pete hypothesised.

She felt herself go cold thinking about Peter and his betrayal: he promised her he'd never prank her. He'd promised and then broke his promise just like that. She couldn't forgive broken promises, no matter how small they might seem to others.

“Sirius!”

Walburga Black's voice was harsh and Mary looked up to see Sirius's face fall, “I'd better go.”

“I'll see you on the first,” Remus said hastily and pulled him into a quick hug. Sirius gave the rest of them a hurried nod before moving away to rejoin his family as they entered the Leaky Cauldron.

“Well, I think we'd better be off too,” said Mary's mum, smiling still at Hope Lupin. The two women embraced quickly, still talking as though they'd never get the chance again. Mary and Remus exchanged an awkward look: why did mums have to be like that?

Then Lyall Lupin was carefully steering his wife and son away down the street. As the three of them receded away, Mary saw Remus's dad lean down to hurriedly whisper with his mum whose face suddenly stilled before she turned to Remus, gripping his hand tightly in her own.

Something was definitely going on there. Mary wrinkled her nose: she just had no idea what.

“I can't believe how close the first of September is now,” Mrs Evans said to Louise, “I'm going to miss Lily so much! Are you going to miss Mary?”

“More than anything,” Louise said and, much to her distaste, Mary found herself suddenly swooped up in her mother's arms.

“Ugh, mum get off,” she wiggled free just in time to see Lily smirking in amusement. “I can't _wait_ to get back to school.” She added with an embarrassed glower at her mother and Lily nodded in agreement.

The four of them made their way back into the Leaky Cauldron. Mary glanced back to see the Lupins disappearing down Diagon Alley, Mrs Lupin's grip on Remus's arm still undeniably close even seen from a distance.

There was no sign of the Black family inside the pub and the four muggle women made their way back out onto Charing Cross without further incident.

The two families went their separate ways, Mary and Lily hugging tightly goodbye. They'd see each other soon, on platform nine and three quarters on the first of September.

Their second year at Hogwarts was approaching and Mary couldn't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I updated a day earlier than I said because I realised I might not have time tomorrow and thought a day early is better than a day late (also, kind comments spurred me on). Next chapter will be posted on Monday or Tuesday. 
> 
> I know this chapter was quite heavy, especially at the start there, but I promise the next chapter is lighter – it's a Remus POV too, so we'll have some of the fallout from Sirius seeing Remus's supposedly very sick mother out and about.
> 
> Concerning Mary and Lily: I have no intention of putting Mary through what she went through at the beginning of this chapter ever again. Race and racism is Lily's arc, not hers; and I should let you know that Lily is going to grow and change, but she has a way to go. This stuff (internalised white supremacy/ racism) is insidious and takes time to unpick so. I love Lily Evans, I do, but at the moment she has some stuff (racism) to work through before she's the icon who is worthy of James Potter's love.
> 
> And Mary MacDonald is a sweet angel, yes, but she's also a total bamf (sticking her tongue out at Walburga bloomin' Black is such a Power Move) and I bloody love her. Say what you will about Peter Pettigrew but he has incredible taste in girls. (Or at least, how I hc it all :P). 
> 
> Again, criticism and advice on how I'm writing race is hugely hugely appreciated from BIPoC, especially if you are a black girl/woman as Mary is, or a brown boy/man as James is, as these two characters are very important to the story. But like, any and all non-white people are gonna know better than me, a white girl, so please please, if you see something that doesn't look right then say something. You can comment here or I'm on tumblr @thesecretwordsmith. 
> 
> And thank you, thank you to the people who commented on the last chapter – I really really appreciated the feedback <3


	13. 1st September 1972: REMUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SECOND YEAR!! Big things happen this year and I can't wait, but for now, enjoy Remus being a tad bit angsty...

**1 st of September 1972**

_REMUS._

Remus Lupin's mum didn't come to see him off for his second year at Hogwarts. He had told his parents the moment he'd used the Lie back in January, and they'd been incredibly supportive and encouraging about it.

But none of them had counted on bumping into Sirius Black in Diagon Alley over the summer. What must he have thought, Remus worried, seeing Hope Lupin up and about, looking her usual healthy self after Remus had told them all that she was so very ill?

His dad's hand on his shoulder tightened as the two of them passed through the barrier and came out onto platform nine and three quarters.

And Lily and Mary had been there too, Remus thought miserably. The perfect lie felt like it was going to fall apart, but Remus couldn't allow that. He wanted to be at Hogwarts: he liked school, he loved learning and he bloody adored his friends. The Lie had to hold. He was determined.

The Lupins had decided to say that Hope had seemed like she was getting better over the summer but then had a relapse. There: easy. It was all going to be just fine.

Remus and his dad meandered along the platform and Lyall helped his son get his trunk onto the train. As they were getting back off again to say a proper goodbye, a hand grabbed Remus by the shoulder and he spun round to see James Potter beaming down at him. Remus blinked: it looked like the dark-haired boy had shot right up over the summer.

“Alright down there,” James giggled, long limbs gangling about. Behind him stood a man who looked so like James, from the brown skin to that same messy hair (though it was flecked with grey in places), that he had to be his father. Beside him was a woman with skin as rich-black as Mary MacDonald's and straight black hair: James's mother.

“Hello,” she said, and offered her hand to Remus's dad, “You must be Mr Lupin. I'm Euphemia Potter and this is Fleamont, my husband.” She gestured to the older version of James as Lyall shook her hand then his.

“Hello, seems like our sons are good friends.” Lyall said with a small smile.

“Yes, and I must apologise,” Mrs Potter said, her voice confident and kind all at once, “But James is a rascal and a ruffian, just like his father. I have a terrible feeling your dear Remus may be being led astray by him.”

Lyall's eyes twinkled as he looked down at Remus. “I very much doubt that.” He said, “Remus may look innocent enough but he has a rule-breaking streak, just like his mother.”

“Oh, James has told us about your wife,” Mrs Potter said, “And we are terribly sorry. Long-term illness is always so hard to bear.”

Lyall nodded, awkwardly, and Remus felt a pang of guilt: he hated that his father was being forced to lie for him. It just wasn't fair. He looked down at his shoes.

“Remus is a genius when it comes to ideas for pranks,” James said, changing the subject admirably.

Lyall snorted. “I don't doubt it.”

“Oi, James!”

The group by the train turned round to see Peter Pettigrew running up to them, his white skin slightly pink in places from exertion.

“Hey Pete!” James said and punched him gently on the shoulder.

“Alright, Remus,” Peter said, smiling. “Good summer?”

“Yeah, you?”

“S'alright,” he said, then grimaced, “But mum made me have extra Charms tutoring cos I'm so bad at it.”

“Oh no,” Remus said then shrugged, “But I guess you'll find it easier this year. We'll all be asking you for help.”

Peter beamed at that then turned to Mrs Potter with a familiarity that only comes from a childhood spent as close family friends.

“Hi Euphemia, my mum asked me to thank you for having me over last week.”

“Well you can tell her it was no trouble, you were lovely as usual,” Mrs Potter replied, “But where is your mum today, Peter?”

“Oh, she had to work. She just dropped me and Esme off before getting off to the ministry.”

Esmeralda Pettigrew, Remus recalled, was Peter's older sister. She was a Hufflepuff, in fifth-year now, and very pretty. She was tall and slender with white skin and blue eyes. Remus often saw her in the library, wire-reading glasses pushed up her nose as she concentrated on her studies.

The Pettigrew siblings were very different, Remus thought wryly, though he knew Pete was very protective of his quieter older sister.

“Well, you three had better get on the train,” Mr Potter said softly and his wife nodded her agreement. She leant across to give James a big kiss on the cheek which he pushed away, a look of disgust on his face. Remus smirked then turned to hug his own dad goodbye.

“Stay safe, son,” Lyall murmured in his ear and Remus nodded. He wished his mum was here. He wished he could hug her goodbye like last year, but that just wouldn't be sensible what with the Lie and everything.

The three boys got on the train, James turning back to wave at his parents one last time.

“James, you write to me,” Mrs Potter called from the platform, “And if I get a letter from McGonagall before you, I'll be very cross.” She looked at him fondly though, and Remus shook his head: James's parents were definitely too soft on him, not that it was such a terrible thing. James was kind and full of love, and no doubt that came from how his parents treated him.

Remus felt a jolt as he compared that with the relationship, if you could call it that, that Sirius had with his parents. It didn't seem fair. Poor Sirius.

Think of the devil though...

“Oi, Marauders!”

The three of them turned away from the platform to see Sirius charging down the train towards them. He flung himself at James and the two boys fell to the floor, Remus and Peter quickly getting out of the way.

The train lurched forwards and James hurriedly got to his feet, dashing to the window to wave farewell to his parents as the platform receded away. Remus waved to his dad too, but Sirius stayed lounging on the train floor and when the others turned back to him, he was smirking lazily.

Peter nudged him with his foot, “Get up Black, you're not an animal.”

“Oh Pete, there you are.”

The four of them looked round to see Peter's sister meandering her way towards them, set of brass scales in hand.

“Alright Esme?” Peter asked, smiling.

“Yeah, your scales were in my trunk,” she said and handed them across to her younger brother. She smiled awkwardly at the other three. “Nice prank at the end of last term by the way,” she said, “Though some of us really need to use the bathroom in the mornings.”

“Oh, you're beautiful enough without make-up,” Sirius said, winking at her. She smiled despite herself, but replied curtly.

“Well, it's not make-up I needed.”

“Esme keeps her gender potions in the bathroom,” Peter explained and gave his sister a sheepish look, “But you managed to get in soon enough. The teachers turned the doors back quick enough.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Esme said. Remus frowned: gender potions?

As his sister walked away, Peter looked back to the others and must have seen Remus's confused look because he explained.

“Esme's trans.”

“Oh shit,” Sirius said, getting up, “We didn't even think about people actually needing the bathroom, did we guys?”

“Live and learn,” James said then called down the train to Esme, “We're sorry for the inconvenience last term!”

She glanced back, rolled her eyes, then carried on, soon disappearing into one of the compartments further down the train. Speaking of. Remus looked about: they could hardly spend the rest of the train journey in the narrow corridor, now, could they?

“C'mon,” he said, “Let's get a compartment before they're all full.”

The Marauders wandered down the train, peering into compartments, and that was how they found Sirius's cousin caught in a slightly compromising position.

The blinds were shut on the door, but that didn't stop Sirius, who went bounding in heedless of Remus's qualms. And there was Andromeda Black, wrapped up in the lap of that Hufflepuff, Ted Tonks.

“Merlin's tits!” Sirius yelped and Andy pulled herself away, not looking even the slightest bit abashed. But Tonks was flushing, his warm brown skin turning slightly red round the cheeks.

“What do you want Sirius?” Andromeda asked, coldly, “Didn't your mother ever teach you to knock?”

“My mother taught me a lot of things, Andy,” Sirius replied, “And I take great joy in ignoring as much of it as possible.” That got Andromeda laughing. She slid of Tonks's lap and came over, pulling Sirius into a quick hug.

“Sorry we didn't come with you lot,” she said then frowned, “Where's Reg?”

Sirius blushed, “Er...”

“You didn't abandon him, did you?”

“I was going to get him!” Sirius said and Remus snorted.

“This is the first we're hearing about it.” He said and James sniggered beside him.

“Where'd you abandon your brother, Sirius? We really ought to look for him.”

Sirius sighed but nodded, “Fine. It's just, he was _really_ annoying over the summer – he kept doing whatever our parents said and all.”

Remus bit his lip: there was undoubtedly a very good reason for the younger Black brother to do as he was told. It was written quite clearly on Sirius's face where there was still a faint scar from that day at Diagon Alley, when he'd been bleeding.

Not everyone was as recklessly brave as Sirius, and Remus could easily understand why Regulus obeyed their parents so well.

“Look,” Andromeda said, “Just go find him, alright? I can't do it.” She glanced back at Tonks with a wry smirk, “I've got a head boy to thoroughly dishevel.”

Remus took another look at Tonks and saw, with surprise, the glint of the head boy pin on his chest.

“What is it with you and Cissy and powerful men?” Sirius asked and Andy shoved him.

“Go find Regulus,” she said curtly, pushing them all out the door.

The compartment door had only just clicked shut behind them when it was sliding open once more and Ted Tonks walked out. He cleared his throat, awkwardly.

“I have to run a prefect meeting,” he said, looking abashed, “Wish me luck.” And he hurried away. Andromeda appeared in the doorway with a morose look. Sirius sniggered and she glowered at him.

“Don't be a prat Sirius,” she said, “Now go find Regulus.”

“Er, I don't think you need to find him,” said Peter and the others turned to see where he was pointing. Walking towards them, arm in arm, were Narcissa and Regulus, both already dressed in their school robes.

Andromeda sighed and Remus looked at her, confused. He thought the Black cousins all got on well with each other. Or had something changed over the summer? Then he looked back to Narcissa and saw a quite evident change.

A silver engagement ring flashed on her finger. Remus's eyebrows went right up. Next to him, Sirius groaned.

“So I found Regulus for you, Sirius,” Narcissa said as she came over. Remus scrutinised her: it wasn't just the ring that was different about her. There was something in the way she carried herself that was different too. Then he realised: she was tilting her chin up and looking down her nose at all of them.

“Were you snogging that muggle-born again?” Narcissa added, turning to her older sister.

Andromeda folded her arms. “So what if I was?”

“Dad will kill you if he finds out.”

“So don't tell him,” Andromeda bit out. “Little Miss Engaged.” She added bitterly. Remus and James exchanged panicked looks: the Black sisters were so close. This felt all wrong, all terribly terribly wrong. Sirius groaned even more loudly.

“Can you two stop it,” he said, “We have to put up with enough family drama at home, and now we're back at school I was kinda hoping you'd just stop it.”

“Well if Cissy is going to be all bigoted about Ted,” Andromeda hissed, “Then I'm not going to play nice.”

“Ugh, it's not bigoted, Andy,” Narcissa said imperiously, “It's just realistic. You're a Black. You can't go around snogging just anyone who'll have you.”

“That's not what this is,” Andromeda bit back, “Just because you jumped at the opportunity to tie yourself to the first pure-blood git who'd have you.”

“Don't talk about Lucius like that!”

“Why? You were quite happy to call him a git last year.”

“It's different now!”

“Oh, now that you're an _engaged lady_ , like Bella?” Andromeda asked. Sirius nudged the other three Marauders, grabbing his brother as he did.

“Let's leave them to it,” he muttered darkly, “I can't bear it.”

James nodded and they followed after the Black brothers as they meandered their way down the train, eventually coming across a partially empty compartment. Only Marlene and Dorcas were sitting within and, them being Gryffindor girls who were not Lily Evans, the Marauders decided to sit with them.

“Alright, boys,” Dorcas said, smiling at them all over her book. Marlene's chair had forced a nice gap for itself by the window, so she was seated where a person sitting on the seat by the window would be, wide grin on her face.

“Good summers?” Marlene asked then noticed Regulus slipping in behind Sirius, “And what's this now? You haven't cloned yourself have you, Black?”

Sirius scowled at her as he took a seat opposite Remus. Regulus sat down by the door, close to his older brother as he looked warily over to Marlene. Peter sat next to Remus, and James flung himself down on the other side of Sirius.

“Don't be a tosser, McKinnon,” Sirius grumbled, “This is my little brother, Reggie.”

“It's Regulus,” Regulus said primly.

Marlene and Dorcas exchanged a look then burst out laughing. Even Remus couldn't help but smirk a little: Sirius and Regulus were sat in exactly the same position next to each other, arms folded and identical glowers on their pale faces.

“Oi, oi,” Sirius called, “None of that! Only a member of the Black family can laugh at a Black.”

“Don't be a tosser, Sirius,” James said, ruffling his hair, “We'd all probably lose our minds if we couldn't laugh at you.”

Sirius's lip quirked but Regulus looked haughty.

“You looking forward to your first year?” Remus asked him softly. He remembered being nervous on his first train ride to Hogwarts, and though Regulus had his older brother and cousins at school already, he must still be feeling some of that, Remus reasoned.

Regulus looked at him, chin upturned and Remus smiled back.

“I don't need pity, Lupin,” he said coldly, “Not from a half-blood like you, anyway.”

Remus blinked, shocked. Sirius looked at his brother in horror but before he could reply, Remus got in first.

“Fine by me,” he retorted, “If you're going to be too bigoted to accept compassion then you're not going to get very far, now are you?”

Regulus flushed pink and got stiffly to his feet. He glanced at his older brother.

“Apologise to Remus,” Sirius said curtly but Regulus shook his head.

“I won't.”

“Don't be a stubborn little git,” Sirius hissed, getting to his feet as well, “You just insulted my friend and you need to apologise.” Regulus looked wrong-footed by his brother's response. He opened his mouth as though to say something, but nothing came out.

“Sirius,” Remus said, reaching to put a hand on the other boy's arm, “Don't worry about it. He's only a kid.”

“I'm only a year younger than you, Lupin,” Regulus retorted, his pale face going very red now, “Don't be so high and mighty, you...” He stumbled over his words before finding a suitable insult: “You half-blood piece of scum.”

There was a moment of silence during which Sirius seemed to be vibrating, his hands quaking into fists at his side. Remus swallowed.

“OUT!” Sirius roared, turning on his brother, “GET OUT!”

Regulus didn't need telling twice. He turned on his heel and slung the compartment door open, going through it then slamming it shut behind.

There was a long silence after he'd gone. Remus stared down at his feet. This was his fault, wasn't it? He'd just been trying to be nice though: the boy had looked nervous to be surrounded by all his brother's friends and not knowing anyone himself.

Remus remembered that day in Diagon Alley: how Regulus had hurried after his parents whilst Sirius had lingered. The two boys might look very similar but clearly there were some important differences between the two.

“I'm sorry about that, Remus,” Sirius said quietly. Remus shook his head.

“There's nothing to be sorry for,” he replied but Sirius shook his head furiously, like a dog shaking water from its fur.

“There is though,” he said, sinking back into his seat, “How my mum treated you and your parents in Diagon Alley too. Your poor mum.”

Ah, Remus thought, here it was: his mother.

“So how is Mrs Lupin?” Peter asked hesitantly and Remus drew in a breath, about to embark on the carefully rehearsed Lie when Marlene McKinnon perked up.

“What's wrong with Remus's mum?”

Damn.

Sirius gave him an apologetic look from across the compartment but Remus just gave him a reassuring smile in return. If he was going to lie, he might as well get as many people as possible knowing: it would spare him the questions and curiosity later on.

“My mum's sick,” he explained, “It's serious. She was a bit better over the summer. That's when you saw her in Diagon Alley,” he said to Sirius and the boy nodded, face serious, “But er... it's got worse again.”

“Oh Merlin, Remus,” Marlene said, clearly horrified, “I'm so sorry.”

“That sucks,” Dorcas said sadly, “My auntie died two years ago. She'd been suffering from dragon pox for years before. My dad was heart-broken. They were really close.”

Remus looked down at his feet. He was a terrible person. Dorcas had something real and awful happen in her family and here he was – lying to save his own skin.

“Well,” James said, clapping his hands together, “How about a game of exploding snap?”

Remus looked over to him, grateful for the change of topic. James gave him a small smile before bringing out the cards and the six of them settled down to a very loud and boisterous game. Marlene won nearly all the rounds, though Peter did manage to get in a few wins for the boys.

The rest of the journey to school was much more relaxed, and even Sirius seemed to stop fuming about his brother for a time.

***

But of course, good things don't last. It was later that evening and Remus watched sadly as Regulus headed over to the Slytherin table, Sirius clenching the table so hard to his right that it was creaking.

“Of course he's in Slytherin,” Sirius hissed, “He laps up all our parents' pure-blood bigotry like it's gospel.”

“Mm,” Remus nodded, noncommittally. He exchanged a pained look with James who just shrugged. What could they do? This was family stuff, hardly their business.

Regulus sat down next to Narcissa, both of them seated at the opposite end of the Slytherin table to Andromeda, who was exchanging looks with the head boy, Tonks, at the Hufflepuff table. Yes, Remus thought sadly: it seemed like this year was going to be the year of Black family drama.

Well, on the bright side, if Sirius was obsessing over his family, it seemed deeply unlikely that he would obsess over Remus again like last year. And with Remus's Lie firmly ingrained in place, it seemed his deep dark secret would be quite safe for the foreseeable future.

He glanced up at the ceiling. The moon was waning: it wouldn't be full till the twenty-second and he felt a great wash of calm run through him at that thought. He could be normal for a few weeks at least before the wolf came for him, and even then, he'd have the weekend to recover afterwards. Yes, Remus thought, everything was going to be just fine. Just. Fine.

Second year watch out: here comes Remus Lupin and everything is going to be Just Fine.

_Just Fine._

Surely?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. To be updated on Friday :D


	14. September 1972: SIRIUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW 1: explicit mention of child abuse  
> CW 2: use of word b*tch by Sirius in reference to his mother
> 
> I feel like those warnings kinda tell you all you need to know about this chapter. Also, it's a Sirius POV...

**September 1972**

_SIRIUS._

Sirius was back! Hogwarts was just the same as it was last year and he was free, free, free! He had James and Peter and Remus, and everything was marvellous. It was perfect, or would be were it not for Regulus being such a bigoted idiot. But Sirius forced himself not to dwell on that particular problem. He was back at Hogwarts, far far away from his bitch mother, and life was good.

Apart from the drama going on between Andy and Cissy. And the whole Lily Evans probably being a racist muggle dilemma. Not to mention Remus's glumness about his mum, and Peter's moping over Mary MacDonald, who had somehow got even prettier and more charming over the summer.

Apart from all _that_ , life at Hogwarts was perfect and nothing could get Sirius down. No way. 

“Oh look,” said a familiar snide voice as the Marauders made their way down the corridor to Charms, “It's the _black_ sheep of the noble house of _Black_.”

Bloody Snape.

“Watch it Snivellus,” James said loudly, “Someone might slip on that trail of grease you're leaving behind you.”

Peter laughed and Snape glowered at them all, pushing his lanky hair out of his face and turning to the girl next to him: the girl next to him, who was Lily Evans.

“Come on, Lily,” he drawled, “Let's go a different way to Charms.”

And the two of them turned away down a different corridor, Lily looking back and biting her lip as she tried to catch Remus's eye. But Remus was making a point of not even looking at the red-head. Her apparent racism had really struck an uncomfortable note with him, no doubt exacerbated by the fact that his mother, who was mixed race, was also deeply ill.

Sirius wrapped an arm around the other boy's shoulder, slightly unnerved to realise that Remus, like James, had grown quite a bit other the summer. Sirius was now vying for last place in the height race with the plump and slightly dumpy Peter. Not that he'd ever call Pete dumpy to his face. Or maybe he would. Sirius scrunched up his face: he probably had done just that last year at some point actually. Oops. Well. He'd apologise at some point in the future then... probably.

“You still not talking to your girlfriend, Evans, then?” He asked and Remus gave him a Look: oops, not the right thing to say then. Would he ever be good at talking to people, Sirius wondered with a sigh? Probably not. Oh well.

“She was never my girlfriend, Sirius,” Remus muttered with a dark look, “And I certainly wouldn't call her a friend now.”

“Cos she's racist?”

“Yes.”

“But wasn't she racist before and you were friends with her anyway?”

Remus gave him a dark look, again, but Sirius just smiled. Which did a fat lot of good: if Peter was right about his hypnotic powers then Remus was the only person immune to them, and he was really  _very_ immune to them too.

“I didn't realise before.”

“But Mary's still friends with her,” James piped up from behind them. Sirius spun round so he was walking backwards to talk to him.

“He makes a good point there, Lupin,” Sirius said to Remus, “Mary's muggle and black. She should know what racism is better than us white boys. She's still friends with Lily.”

Remus's face twisted, “Yeah, but Mary could forgive her own murderer with her dying breath.”

“Mary's perfect,” Peter said dreamily and Sirius snorted.

“You're so whipped, Pettigrew,” he said, “And you're not even dating the girl anymore!”

“Yeah, and whose fault is that?” Pete scowled. James chuckled and slung an arm over the shorter boy's shoulder.

“Ah come on, Pete,” he said, “You love us more than Mary.”

Peter grumbled but reluctantly acquiesced. “Fine.”

“We're way more fun than MacDonald,” Sirius added, “What would you do with her? Study?”

“It's alright for you to joke about that,” Peter said, scuffing his shoe along the stone floor as they turned down the Charms corridor. “But I actually _need_ to study, unlike you geniuses.”

“Yeah,” Remus chipped in, “You two can not study, but Pete and I actually have to work to get decent grades.”

“ _You_ don't need to study,” Sirius said, indignant as he looked up at his taller friend, “You're a bloody nerd!”

“Just me then,” Peter said sadly. Remus gave Sirius a sharp look: oh, he was trying to make Pete feel less like the odd one out. Oops. Sirius had really ruined that then, hadn't he? He shrugged and Remus sighed.

“Come on, gang,” he said.

“Marauders,” James corrected, “We're not just any gang, Remus. We're the bloomin' Marauders, in the flesh!”

“Ok, Marauder-in-the-flesh,” Remus said with a smirk, “Flitwick awaits us. Come on.”

The four of them filed into Charms.

***

When they exited the class later, a third year Hufflepuff came over to them. “Oi Black,” she yelled.

Sirius jumped and racked his brains, trying to figure out if he'd done something to offend her at some point, but he couldn't place her face. But just because he didn't recognise her, didn't mean he hadn't done something to her.

“McGonagall wants to see you now.”

“Now?”

“That's what I said,” she narrowed her eyes at him.

“But it's dinner now!” Sirius was bloody hungry, but the Hufflepuff just shrugged at him.

“If you don't go that's on you, but she seemed quite adamant. So if I were you, I'd go.”

“Have you done something?” James asked him, “You wouldn't do something without me, would you?”

James actually looked quite worried by the thought but Sirius shook his head. At least, he was pretty sure he hadn't done anything.

“Well you'd better go,” Remus said, “Or she'll just find you another time and it'll be a lot worse.”

Why did Remus always have to be right? Sirius sighed and nodded. “See you lot later.”

“Maybe she's finally decided to take you up on your romantic pursuit?” Peter suggested and Sirius forced a laugh before bidding his friends goodbye and heading away up the corridor to see their head of house.

McGonagall called him in the second he knocked on her office door. She was sat at her desk, a low fire crackling in the room's fireplace.

“Ah, Mr Black,” she said and smiled. Actually smiled. This was weird. Maybe Pete had been right or maybe this was some sort of prank revenge by the teachers. But if that was the case, surely all the Marauders would be targets? Or at least James too. “Take a seat.”

This Sirius did, sitting uncomfortably on the edge of the seat. “Er, professor,” he said slowly, “I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything yet.”

“I'm going to ignore that word 'yet', Mr Black,” McGonagall said, looking over her spectacles at him severely.

“So... I'm not in trouble?”

“No, you're not.”

“Right. Great,” Sirius got back to his feet, “Can I go get dinner then?”

“Have a biscuit, Black.”

Sirius sunk back down into his seat and took a piece of shortbread from the proffered tin. This was very very strange. Maybe someone had died at home. He hoped it was his mother if that was the case, though he supposed his father dying would also have its merits.

He munched on the shortbread then glanced up at McGonagall who was still surveying him over the top of her glasses.

“So, uh,” he said, mouth full of biscuit, “What's this all about then?”

McGonagall surveyed him for a few more moments. Then she spoke, her voice soft, almost motherly, not that Sirius really understood what _that_ word was supposed to mean.

“Sirius, you know you can come to me with any problems, don't you?”

Sirius coughed, choking slightly on the dry biscuit. McGonagall sighed and handed him a glass of water. He sipped it and wiped at his mouth, still staring slightly warily at McGonagall.

“Er... yeah, I guess,” he said awkwardly. McGonagall bit her lip and considered him for a while longer.

“Sirius, if anything is going on at home that you want to talk about,” she began and Sirius hastily jumped to his feet. No! No way. He was not talking to McGonagall, of all people, about his bloody parents. No way. It needed to be kept separate: school and home, good and bad, safe and... well, not safe.

“I'm fine, professor,” he said hastily, “Honest. I mean, we don't get on. They're bigoted prats but I'm fine.”

McGonagall sat back in her chair with a sigh. Then she raised a hand, took of her glasses, and wiped tiredly at her eyes.

“Sirius,” she said, after a second longer, “If they're abusing you - ”

“It's none of your business!” Sirius shouted and instantly regretted it. He shouldn't shout at McGonagall. But her expression didn't change: she still looked all soft and sad. Sirius didn't like it one bit. He cleared his throat.

“Honest professor,” he said, “You should be more worried about me at school than at home.”

McGonagall frowned, “And why's that?”

“Oh Minnie,” Sirius said, winking, “Now that really _would_ be telling.”

McGonagall sighed, and Sirius was relieved to see her softened expression vanish somewhat, replaced by reluctant mirth. That was more like it, Sirius thought with satisfaction.

“I mean, I know James made sure to smuggle in some choice items from Gambol and Japes, and - ”

“Stop,” McGonagall said, holding up her hand, expression tired and severe but slightly amused all at once, “I think knowing would make whatever you and Potter are up to so much worse.”

“Ah Minnie,” Sirius said, clasping a hand to his heart, “Then we shall always endeavour to surprise you.”

“Oh dear god,” McGonagall muttered then waved her hand at the door, “Out then, Black. Go have some dinner.”

“Thanks, professor,” Sirius said, hopping over to the door. “And we'll always make sure to never let you get a whiff of our nefarious plans before they're enacted, professor.”

McGonagall sighed and Sirius thought he had safely escaped the talk about his home life. He reached for the door, pulling it open.

“Sirius,” McGonagall called and he looked back. She was staring at him intently, “You're my student, and I want you to remember that I will always be on your side. And I'm always here to talk.”

“Yes professor,” Sirius said, then fled, McGonagall's door slamming shut behind him.

He hurried down to the Great Hall, barely noticing his surroundings till he was sat down next to James and Peter. He didn't want to think about the conversation he'd just almost sort of had with McGonagall. If he didn't think about what happened at home then it wouldn't be real, right?

Then he noticed an unusual absence at the table. “Where's Remus?”

James shrugged, “He wasn't feeling well. I think he went to the Hospital Wing.”

“You think?” Sirius gave James a hard stare, “Where'd he say he was going?”

“He said he was going to lie down,” Peter said through mouthfuls of mashed potatoes, “And then if he didn't feel better, he'd head over to Pomfrey later.”

Sirius grabbed a spoon of potatoes and lumbered them onto his plate, feeling distinctly disgruntled by the severe lack of Remus.

“What did McGonagall want?” James asked and Sirius shook his head.

“She's just checking in.”

“So it _was_ a date!” Peter said, waggling his eyebrows. Sirius shoved him so hard he fell off his seat.

“Oi, oi,” James cried, “Calm it, Black. What's up?”

Sirius looked up. “Enchanted ceiling.”

“Oh ha ha,” James said, “You're bloody hilarious, you are.”

Peter scrambled back onto his chair and gave Sirius a heated glower. “You can be such a tosser when you're in a mood.”

“What did McGonagall want?” James tried again. Bloody hell, Sirius thought, when did Potter get so bloody nosey?

“She was just checking in.”

“Alright, so when does she check in with the rest of us.”

“Feeling left out, Potter,” Sirius retorted. “Not getting enough attention now you haven't got mummy doting all over you.”

“Pete's right,” James said, getting to his feet and scowling down at Sirius, “You can be a right tosser when you're in a mood. Come on Pete, let's go.”

“Yeah, go on Petey,” Sirius muttered, as James strode off, “Follow James around like the needy little hanger-on you are.”

There was a long silence after he'd said that and Sirius didn't dare look up. The words had just come out. He wasn't even sure he meant them. Peter huffed then got to his feet.

“Y'know Sirius,” the shorter boy said, “One of these days you're gonna look up, and we're all gonna be gone because you've pushed as all away by being such a bloody prat.”

Sirius blinked in surprise: he knew he'd been rude to Pete, but he'd never expected the other boy to ever say anything so harsh to him. It seemed it wasn't just Remus immune to his hypnotic charm then. He looked up at Peter, who glowered down at him before following after James who had already left the hall.

Great, Sirius thought: so now he was all alone. Just great. At least he'd still have Remus, unless the other two got to him first that was. Sirius hurriedly wolfed the rest of his food down then got to his feet, hurrying out of the Great Hall and up the stairs towards Gryffindor Tower.

***

When he got to their dorm, he was relieved to see that James and Pete hadn't got there yet. Remus was there though, lying on his bed with his eyes closed.

“Are you asleep?” Sirius hissed from the doorway and when there wasn't a response he bounded over, leaning right over his friend's face, “Oi, Remus – are you awake?”

“I am now,” the other boy muttered and opened his eyes, frowning up at Sirius. He looked ill.

“Um, I heard you were sick,” Sirius said awkwardly, and sat down on the edge of the bed. Remus sat up slowly.

“Yeah, bit under the weather,” he said with a grimace, “That's all.”

Sirius looked at his friend with concern: what if what Remus's mother had passed onto him? What if Remus became very sick too? He always looked quite sickly a lot of the time, and he definitely scarred too easily as well.

“Will you be alright?” Sirius asked and Remus nodded.

“Yeah, course.”

“And it's not anything related to... your mum?” He asked this cautiously as he knew how much Remus didn't like talking about his mother's illness. The two were very close and Sirius, with his own mother being what she was, struggled to imagine how hard this must be for Remus.

“No, nothing to do with what my mum has,” Remus said firmly. There was a long silence. Then, the inevitable - “So what did McGonagall want?”

Sirius looked down at his hands, clasped over his lap and shook his head. He was horrified to feel tears beginning to well in his eyes. He wiped them away hastily but Remus had seen.

“Sirius, what is it?” Remus's voice was soft and kind. He was always so bloody sensitive, wasn't he? It was actually quite annoying. Sirius huffed and tried to control his temper.

“She wanted to talk about home,” he forced out and looked determinedly away from Remus's face. No doubt the other boy was pulling some sort of sensitive expression, and Sirius just couldn't deal with that. He just couldn't Deal. With. It.

“We don't have to talk about it,” Remus said quietly. Sirius nodded jerkily.

“I don't wanna talk 'bout it.”

He glanced over to Remus who nodded then swung his legs out of the bed with a sigh.

“I'm feeling a lot better now actually.” He stretched and Sirius watched him feeling awed: he was actually not going to talk about it. Sirius rubbed the last tears from his eyes.

“That's good, sleeping helped then?”

“Yeah, guess so,” Remus replied then patted his stomach, “Could do with something to eat though. I missed dinner. Don't s'ppose you've got any snacks?”

“No, but we could go down to the kitchens,” Sirius said. He and James had discovered the kitchens at the end of last year: you tickled a pear in a painting and it opened a door. Sirius bloody loved Hogwarts.

Remus raised his eyebrows, “And how long have you known where the kitchens are without telling me?”

Sirius winked, “Now that would be telling, my dear Lupin.”

Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius sniggered. This was more like it. James and Peter had just been being prats: Remus was the only good one, the only Marauder worth his salt. Sirius dragged him to his feet, pulling him out of the dormitory.

“Kitchens here we come!”

Remus snorted and hesitated at the door, “What about James and Peter? Where are they anyway?”

Sirius slumped against the wall: of course it had been too perfect to last. He folded his arms with a shrug.

Remus raised his eyebrows. “What did you do, Sirius?”

“Why'd you assume that _I_ did something?”

Remus said nothing, just stared at him.

Sirius huffed. “Fine. We had a bit of an argument because they wouldn't leave off about what McGonagall wanted from me.”

“Well, of course they wanted to know,” Remus said, “They're your friends.”

“Yeah I know,” Sirius said, feeling his anger flare up uncontrollably, “But that doesn't mean they get to know everything about me!”

“We're not having drama in the dorm,” Remus said firmly and started walking past Sirius down the stairs, “First, we go to the kitchens cos I am starving, then we're going to sort this stupid fight out.”

Sirius dragged his feet, “Remus!”

“Come on, Sirius.” His voice was firm and brooked no opposition. Sirius growled but followed him down the stairs.

“I'm not talking about my home life with anyone.”

“No, you're not,” Remus said as they crossed the common room, heading out the portrait hole, “But you're not going into one of your moods either. I don't have the energy right now to deal with that on top of everything else at the moment.”

“What else?” Sirius scrutinised Remus. Sure, he was a bit under the weather and all, but there wasn't anything else going on at the moment, was there?

“Never mind,” Remus said, avoiding Sirius's gaze, his confidence clearly slipping. They walked down the corridor, bright moonlight shining through the tall windows. Sirius glanced outside: it was almost the full moon. He stopped and looked out.

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” He said, staring out at the silvery light.

“Come on,” Remus said, “I'm hungry, remember? You promised to show me the kitchens.”

“Fine, fine,” Sirius said and turned away from the moon to look at Remus. He froze: there was the strangest expression on his friend's face as he stared out at the night sky. Sirius frowned. Was it fear? It was, wasn't it? But what could Remus be so scared of?

He glanced back outside just as Remus seemed to shake himself out of it. “You're not scared of the dark are you, Remus?”

“No, of course not,” Remus retorted, “Don't be stupid.”

Hm... strange.

They continued on their way down to the kitchens but Sirius couldn't get Remus's look of fear out of his head. It had seemed so raw and real, and Sirius didn't like it one bit. Remus wasn't scared of anything, not ever. Why was he so scared of the night sky? It didn't make sense.

They got to the entrance to the kitchens, Sirius tickled the pear and the two of them went in.

“Bloody hell,” Remus said and Sirius smirked: it _was_ quite something. The house elves were cleaning up after dinner but two still managed to come over, bobbing and bowing with bright smiles on their faces.

They were nothing like Kreacher, Sirius thought, then shuddered: no, no thinking about home. Not when he was here at school with Remus. Keep it separate. It was the best way to deal with it, the only way.

“We thought you might be here.”

Sirius spun round to see James getting to his feet from a nearby table. Peter stood beside him.

“Why?” Remus asked.

“You missed dinner,” James said with a shrug, “Sirius would get you food.”

“Are you feeling better, Remus?” Peter asked and Remus nodded.

“Yeah bit, thanks Pete.”

“Why don't you get something to eat and we can all sit down and sort whatever's going on with Sirius out?” James suggested.

Sirius shook his head but couldn't find the words: no, they were _not_ doing this. And that was bloody sneaky of James too – waiting for him down here because he knew he'd want to look after Remus. It was an overly Slytherin thing to do, and Sirius didn't like it one bit.

“You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to,” Remus said softly, “But they're worried about you, Sirius. You can give them something small, surely? Just tell them what McGonagall said.”

“You also owe us both an apology for being a prat,” James added, sitting back down. Peter sat down next to him. Remus seemed to waver for a moment, before joining them at the table. A house elf brought him over some cheese on toast, and the boy dug in.

Sirius bit his lip. He wanted to run. More than anything he wanted to just swing back open the door and run, run, _run_.

But they were his friends. And Remus already knew a lot of it anyway. And James was right – he had been a prat at dinner. Especially to Pete. He closed his eyes briefly then opened them and headed over, sitting down next to Remus, with James and Peter on the other side of the table.

“Fine.” He said and wiped at his face before looking at Peter, “I'm sorry about what I said at dinner. It wasn't true or fair, what I said to both of you,” he added, glancing at James who nodded.

“We accept your apology.” He said, Peter nodding slowly beside him. Sirius let out a breath then helped himself to some of Remus's toast.

“McGonagall wanted to ask me about my home life,” he said, stuffing a particularly cheesy piece into his mouth. “That's why she wanted to see me.” He reached for another piece of toast but Remus batted his hand away.

“And why did she want to ask about your home life?” James asked and Sirius didn't like the knowing glint in his dark eyes. He suspected, didn't he?

Sirius looked away. He didn't like this: James was pure and naïve and innocent, and Sirius didn't want to take that away. He didn't want the lines between home and school to blur. He didn't want that, he really didn't.

He glanced up to see James's gaze soften and, just like that, Sirius opened his mouth and answered honestly.

“My mum beats me.”

There. It was out.

He reached for more toast and this time Remus didn't bat him away. He chewed on it forcefully, focusing intently on the taste of tangy cheddar and wholemeal toast. It was good so he helped himself to some more, ignoring the deathly silence that surrounded him.

“Bloody hell,” Peter said eventually. Sirius looked up from his toast. All three of them were staring at him: Pete's eyes were wide and shocked, as were James's, who also looked angry though not at Sirius. He glanced over to Remus, whose face was unreadable.

Well then. Now what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger, I know! I'll update on Monday rather than Tuesday so you won't have to wait as long to find out how this all unfolds. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's commented and bookmarked and left kudos. Also, please subscribe if you're not already to keep up with my updates. 
> 
> Have a nice weekend :D


	15. September 1972: JAMES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that yesterday's cliffhanger was too cruel so here's the next chapter a bit sooner than initially intended, and it's a James one! :)
> 
> CW 1: mention of child abuse  
> CW 2: mention of racism

**September 1972**

_JAMES._

If he was being perfectly honest with himself, James had always known.

He had known before Sirius's admission in the safety of the warm Hogwarts kitchens, surrounded by overly-kind house elves and Remus's cheesy toast. He had known from the stiff expressions on his friend's face when his home life was mentioned. He had known since that first day on the Hogwarts Express, when the Black family was discussed.

James Potter had always known that his best friend was being abused by his parents, and he had done nothing, said nothing, done absolutely _nothing._

And now he was bloody livid with himself.

“Sirius,” he said, after Peter's succinct summary, “I should have done something, I should have said something earlier.”

Sirius's eyes widened, “You knew?”

James nodded, a jerky and uncomfortable motion, “I guessed, from what you've said.”

He glanced to his left to see Peter staring at him, a defined frown on his brow. Across the table, Remus had slowly put down the piece of toast he had been about to bite into before Sirius's admission. He cleared his throat.

“There's nothing any of us could do, James,” he said croakily, “Even knowing.”

“Did you know?”

“Yes.”

That threw James: Remus had known, had _actually_ known. He glanced back to Sirius who was staring stonily down at his own hands now. Sirius had told Remus this and didn't tell James. He could see it clear as day, written on the two of their faces, their body positions, their everything.

“Sirius told you,” Peter said and James was so bloody grateful Pete was the one to say it. If he, James, had said it he doubted he'd be able to keep the accusation out of his voice. And that wouldn't be fair. Sirius was the victim here, not James, no matter how much it hurt to know that his best friend told Remus before him about something so terrible, so bloody terrible.

“Yeah,” Remus said and the look he and Sirius shared made James feel so bloody jealous he couldn't help himself.

“Why'd you tell him?” _And not me,_ he fortunately didn't add.

Sirius shrugged, “Remus was there.”

“I was there!”

No, no, no, James thought: this was bad, really bad. He was reacting really badly, but it was like he was floating above his body, looking down on the situation without any control. He couldn't stop himself.

“I was there, Sirius,” he said, voice low, “I was _always_ there, and often Remus wasn't.”

“Yeah, because his mum is deathly ill!” Sirius retorted, getting to his feet, “He knows what it's like to have to put up with something serious and shitty, unlike you.”

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” James got to his feet too.

“Stop it, both of you,” Remus said, raising his hands, and James turned on him, angry and jealous beyond belief. Sirius was _his_ best friend, not Remus's. 

“Zip it, Lupin,” he hissed, “I'm talking to Sirius!”

“Don't talk to Remus like that,” Sirius cried, “You're being a right prat, James. I've just told you that my mother beats me,” he broke off slightly at that, and Remus reached over to clasp him on the arm and he calmed, “I've just told you _that,_ and you're going on about yourself like a right tosser.”

James was breathing heavily. All that Sirius said was right, completely and totally correct. He collapsed back down and nodded.

“You're right.” He said quietly, “I... I'm sorry. It's not right, what you're going through Sirius, I'm upset because I feel so... so helpless...” James looked back up at Sirius who was staring at him haughtily in a way that was so reminiscent of Regulus it could have been funny.

But it wasn't funny. There was nothing funny about this situation at all. Sirius sat back down too, nicking another piece of Remus's toast as he did.

“Yeah, I get that,” he said with a shrug.

“But that doesn't excuse your behaviour,” Remus said to James, eyes flashing uncharacteristically in his direction. Sirius waved him away.

“Nah, I get it.” He said, chomping on the toast, “Any more to get out, Potter? I'd rather get this over with now and then we can stop talking about it.”

James shook his head, “No, no more. Only, maybe McGonagall could do something if you told her. Maybe she could let you stay at Hogwarts over the holidays or something?”

Sirius slumped over the table. “I'm not getting McGonagall involved, not now, not ever. Ok?”

James hesitated. But what could he do? If Sirius was adamant that McGonagall wasn't to get involved then he could hardly be dissuaded. “Alright then,” he said after another second longer.

“But that's a good point,” Peter piped up and James almost jumped: he'd forgotten that the other boy was there. Pete had been so quiet.

“What's a good point?”

“Well, getting to stay at Hogwarts during the holidays,” he said, “Then you'd be away from them.”

Sirius shrugged, “I was going to spend Christmas here and probably Easter too.”

“But what about summer?”

Sirius shrugged again, “That's far enough away for now. I'll get to it when I get to it.”

James sighed then nodded, “You could come to mine for the summer if you wanted, or for Christmas too, if you wanted?”

But Sirius shook his head, “I couldn't do that. It'd be imposing.”

“No, it really wouldn't.”

Sirius shook his head again but before he could speak, Remus lifted his head, frown deep on his brow.

“Sirius,” he said, breaking off the polite argument going on between James and Sirius. Sirius turned to him.

“What?”

“Maybe James is right about McGonagall,” he said, “If she knows then maybe she'll let you stay over the summer, but if she doesn't know then - ”

“No,” Sirius said stonily, “I'm not telling her, Remus, and you'd better respect that or else.”

“And anyway,” James said, “Sirius can spend the summer at mine rather than go home, so no need to stay at school for two months is there?”

Sirius turned back to James, “I couldn't.”

“You could!”

Sirius bit his lip, crumbs of toast falling from his mouth, “Could I?”

James rolled his eyes and nodded. He was going to write home tonight, asking Sirius over for Christmas and summer and potentially forever, and he knew his mother would be more than hospitable. Euphemia Potter loved guests.

“Well, now that that's sorted,” Peter said with a nervous grin, “What are the Marauders' plans for this year?”

James waggled his eyebrows and beamed. Oh the plans, the plans: the plans he had for second year!

“Well,” he said, clapping his hands together, “First big event will be Halloween, but we'll want to start targeting people, the Slytherins especially, before then.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said with savage relish, “Get Regulus back for being such a bigoted tosser.”

“I love your enthusiasm,” James said, “But we won't be targeting individuals. I was thinking of doing something to their common room again though.”

“Not stink bombs again?” Peter asked, with a barely restrained groan, “Don't forget Halloween last year.”

“Hey,” Sirius said as Peter directed his gaze pointedly at him, “How was I to know those stink bombs would be so bad?”

Remus snorted. “Because they cost just a knut for a hundred, and came in an  _unsealed_ bag.”

“Live and learn,” Sirius said bracingly, “That's what I say: live and learn.”

James beamed at his stupid impulsive best friend. Sirius looked back to his normal self: well and truly out of the bad mood he had been in. He was happy, and a happy Sirius made everybody shine. James loved happy Sirius more than anything, and he'd do just about anything to keep him happy.

The Marauders continued to plan into the night as slowly the house elves around them settled down to bed, the great kitchen fire cooling to embers behind them.

***

A week later and their plans were falling apart in the most chaotic and beautiful way imaginable.

“RUN!” Remus cried as he came charging down the stairs from the Slytherin boys' dorms, “They're coming!”

“Get under!”

James swung the cloak around his friend and Remus turned to him, eyes wide, “Where's Sirius?!”

“I thought he was with you?”

“Oh bugger this,” Peter said from behind him, “We're all going to die.”

“Shut up Pete,” James hissed, “It'll be fine.”

Sirius was missing, still up the stairs and probably trying to put a stink bomb in his brother's bed no doubt. And their plan was about to fall apart. But Peter didn't have to be so dramatic about it. This was all going to be fine.

“Where _is_ he?” Remus muttered as the first Slytherin boys started to appear, bleary-eyed in the very early morning sunlight.

Then there was a loud bang from the top of the stairs.

“Ah,” James said slowly. Remus groaned from beside him. The Slytherin boys looked round and there appeared Sirius Black bounding down the steps behind them. His eyes were wide and hair a mess down his back.

He looked around wildly, ignoring the indignant cries of the Slytherin students.

“What are _you_ doing here?”

“This is _our_ common room.”

“Get out, Black!”

Sirius ignored them, looking around frantically for the Marauders. James stuck his head out of the cloak.

“Oi, over here.”

The Slytherin students cried out in shock and Sirius bounded over, slipping under the cloak with the other three just as Regulus came hurrying down the stairs, completely bald, his usual luscious black locks totally gone.

“Bloody hell, Sirius,” Remus hissed, “Way to get off track.”

“Oh whatever,” Sirius grumbled and James glanced over to see his lip quirk despite his sour expression, “He deserved it. He was being a prat.”

“Come on,” James said with a sigh, “Let's get out of here before Slughorn arrives. They've already seen us two but we might be able to get out of it.”

“You've completely ruined the prank,” Peter grumbled but went with the others as they meandered their way out of the Slytherin common room. Just as they reached the door, bright fireworks started to go off by the sofa.

The Slytherins all jumped in shock.

“Hm,” Remus said, “I guess it kinda worked.”

“Hardly,” Peter muttered, but the four of them stayed to watch for a good hour from the shadows as more and more Slytherins came down the stairs to find their common room in total anarchy. The fireworks were loud, bright and noisy, and they left an acrid smoke that clogged the room.

“Next time, we won't put Sirius on watch,” James said firmly, “Clearly he can't be trusted around his brother.”

“Well you'd want to jinx him too if he were your brother,” Sirius grumbled and Remus elbowed him.

“You need to learn some self-control.”

“Ugh, self-control is for other people,” Sirius said with a sigh. James snorted but promptly stifled his giggles at Remus's unimpressed stare. Lupin needed to lighten up: everything had worked out very well, all things considered.

It was a great prank to start the year off and no one could persuade him otherwise.

***

Alright so maybe _McGonagall_ could persuade him otherwise.

He and Sirius were stood before their head of house as she loomed over them in front of her desk, eyes frighteningly severe. She glared at them.

“Are either of you willing to come clean?”

Neither of them looked up. As the only two of the four who had been seen, they were the only two in trouble. And there was no way on earth either of them would give her Remus or Peter too. The Marauders protected their own, James thought with a surge of defiant pride.

McGonagall sighed. “Fine. Then that's double detention for you both, and twenty points from Gryffindor, each.”

“Ok, so can we go now, professor?” Sirius asked and James internally groaned. Typical Sirius: too much cheek to handle. He glanced up to see Sirius and McGonagall having some sort of stare off. He nudged his friend hard and Sirius glanced round. James widened his eyes at him: _don't be a prat!_

“Mr Potter, you may go,” McGonagall said at last, “Sirius. You'll stay a moment longer.”

Sirius huffed but didn't say anything to contradict her. James gave him a consolatory glance then hurried out the door, relieved to escape the tension coming off McGonagall in waves. She was probably going to kill Sirius, wasn't she? Oh well, Sirius'd had a good run, James thought sadly. He'd been a good friend too, but it seemed his time was up now.

James made his way back to the Gryffindor common room where Remus and Peter were settled down by the fire working on their Charms homework. They looked up when he came in and Remus moved his textbook so James could sit down.

“Where's Sirius?” Peter asked. James sighed.

“He couldn't keep his mouth shut with McGonagall so she's probably going to kill him now.”

“Ah,” Peter said, sagely.

Remus snorted. “If he'd just let Regulus be and come back down with me when the Slytherins started getting up then neither of you would be in any trouble.” He sighed and bent back over his Charms textbook, “It's his own fault.”

James could hardly dissent: it was true. Sirius Black was his own worst enemy.

At that moment the portrait hole swung open and in came Mary MacDonald chatting amiably with Lily Evans. He sighed: another problem.

Remus was certain that Lily was this muggle thing called racist, and James had to admit that she had certainly treated him more harshly than Sirius for doing less mischief, but it was such a strange and weird thing. Why would she hate him for being brown-skinned? No one had ever treated him differently for it before. Muggles were very weird, weren't they?

And then, with Lily, there was the fact that Mary MacDonald was still stoically friends with her. Peter and Remus were both convinced that this was down to Mary's goodness rather than Lily's lack of racism, but still. It had to mean there was hope for the slightly prissy red-head. Right?

“Getting a good look in are we, Potter?” Mary said, eyebrows raised, and James flushed. Mary MacDonald was very pretty, so much so that he did wonder what she'd been doing with Peter last year (not that he'd ever in a million years say as much to his shorter friend), and her unwavering and understated confidence was a dazzling thing.

He shrugged, “Just admiring the view.”

Peter glowered at him: oops, he shouldn't be flirting with his friend's ex now, should he? That was a very Sirius thing to do.

James sank further down into the sofa with a sigh. Second year wasn't really going as he'd planned. Between Sirius's family problems and Peter's failed love life, and all that Remus was going through with his mum, and then Lily Evans's strange muggle bigotry; everything just seemed a lot more complicated than last year.

“Come on,” Evans said with a huff, “Let's go see what Marlene and Dorcas are up to.”

And the two girls disappeared up the stairs to their dormitory.

“What was that?” Peter hissed at him. James closed his eyes: maybe if he couldn't see Peter then Peter wouldn't be able to see him.

He yelped as his friend poked him, “Alright, alright,” he said, opening his eyes to glare back at Peter, “I was just talking to her. I can still talk to her, right?”

“You were bloody flirting and you know it!”

“Ah Merlin, cool off Petey,” James said, “It's not like anything's happening between the two of you.”

Peter scowled at him before turning back to his Charms work.

“Have you done this for Flitwick yet?” Remus asked him. James looked down at their work. Nope, he had not done it yet.

“When's it due?”

“Monday afternoon.”

“But that's tomorrow!” James groaned: why did life hate him?

“Well you better get a move on,” Peter said primly, “It's bloody hard.”

“Ugh, whatever,” James said and closed his eyes once more, enjoying the warmth coming from the fire, “I'll get it done in the morning.”

“Well you're not copying mine,” Peter retorted, clearly still grumpy about his brief flirtation with Mary.

“Yeah, like you're the person I'd want to copy from.”

“James!” Remus snapped.

He groaned and turned away from his friends. Where was Sirius? Had McGonagall killed him yet? Would he be back soon? Maybe they could sneak down to the kitchens and find something chocolatey to eat. James would ask Remus for some of his chocolate but he doubted the other boy would give him any, even if he wasn't in his disapproval mood like he was now. Remus was very protective of his chocolate.

“Are you going to be disappearing this month?” James asked him.

Remus froze. “What d'you mean?”

“To see your mum,” James explained, eyebrows raised as he watched the other boy. Why was Remus being so weird? But then the other boy relaxed and nodded, glancing briefly out the window to the darkening sky.

“Yeah, will be soon.”

James nodded, “How is she?”

“Yeah, not much has changed,” Remus said, and turned his attention firmly back to his homework. Typical Remus: he never wanted to talk about his ill mum. Well, James reasoned, that was understandable. He couldn't imagine anything happening to his own mother, and hated even the thought of not having her up and about, taking on the world with her usual vim and vigour.

Poor Remus.

The portrait hole swung open and in came Sirius. James grinned and jumped to his feet, suggestion of a visit to the kitchens on the tip of his tongue, but then he saw his friend's face. Sirius looked like he might hit something, or someone.

“Er... didn't go well with McGonagall then?”

Sirius glowered at him. “No.”

“D'you fancy sneaking down to the kitchens?”

“No.”

James groaned: great, so Sirius was in one of his moods and now who would go get chocolate with him in the kitchens? He glanced at Remus.

“No,” Lupin said as James opened his mouth. He shut it and huffed again, before turning to Peter.“Petey boy?”

“Not in the mood James,” Peter said firmly, “And I need to finish this.” He gestured to his parchment.

Sirius snorted, “Stupid bloody Charms,” And with that, he banged across the common room and up the stairs to their dorm.

James groaned again, and sank back down into the sofa next to Remus. Remus, who handed him the Charms textbook.

“You might as well get started on your homework,” he said firmly.

James sighed. So much for chocolate. He pulled a piece of parchment over and started scratching something down for Flitwick. This day had not gone the way he'd wanted at all.

Oh well, there was always tomorrow, and the day after. Hopefully Sirius would shake out of his mood and everything would improve.

Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATING TOMORROW AS WELL!
> 
> So I'm going to be taking a break from posting for a few weeks or so just so I can get back to actually writing (which I have completely stopped recently in favour of editing and re-reading for posting). However, before that, there are two more chapters I want to post to resolve a little thing so you guys get a sense of closure before my break. To do this I've decided to update tomorrow and Monday both to give you the next two chapters, and then I can take my break safe in the knowledge that my brilliant readers are not left on a total cliffhanger! This is going to be quite a string of chapter posts so please make sure you read them in the right order – I don't want plot points to be spoilt for you just because I've suddenly decided to bombard you with all these chapters like this! 
> 
> Thank you for reading guys. This fic means a lot to me, and the fact that people are following and reading it is slightly mind-blowing in an amazing way, so thank you!! xo


	16. Late September 1972: REMUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: discussion of racism by two white characters written by a white writer 
> 
> And make sure you've read the preceding chapters too! I've broken my update routine and posted a couple of chapters daily, and will be posting the next one tomorrow as well so heads up for that. :D

**Late September 1972**

_REMUS._

Sirius's mood after the Slytherin common room prank quickly abated which was nice: it didn't become one of those drawn out ones that went on forever and ever and ever.

Remus was relieved because he really hated it when Sirius was upset. His emotions held sway over all he interacted with, in particular the other Marauders, and Remus was bloody tired of feeling moody all the time.

The full moon of September was on a Friday night so Remus had the weekend to recover. When he reappeared in the Gryffindor common room on Sunday evening he was greeted by Peter who was sat at a table studying.

“Thank Merlin you're back,” the shorter boy said with a groan, “Can you help me with this new Charms work Flitwick set us?”

“Sure,” Remus said, biting back a yawn. He came over and sat down by Peter. “Do I even want to know where Sirius and James are?”

“Nope,” Pete said firmly, before turning back to his parchment, “Now, d'you know what Flitwick was going on about with that wand movement?”

Remus sighed and settled down into studying with Peter.

“Hey Remus.”

He looked up from correcting Peter's punctuation to see Lily Evans standing by their table, eyes wide and sheepish. Right.

“Lily,” he said curtly.

“Hi Evans,” Peter said chirpily, looking about for Mary, “Is it just you?”

“Yeah, er, Mary's gone to the library with Dorcas and Marlene.”

“And you didn't?” Peter sounded incredulous and Remus could hardly blame him: of the girls, Lily was undoubtedly the most determinedly studious.

“What do you want Lily?” Remus asked shortly. He folded his arms, recalling clearly that last day of term when she had been so irrationally mad at James.

“Can, er, can we talk?”

Remus spread his hands, “What're we doing right now?”

Peter coughed and buried his head down into his Charms textbook. Lily flushed, “Please, Remus, could you walk with me?”

He sighed, bit his lip, then nodded, “Fine.” And he got to his feet, wincing slightly from the wounds the wolf had inflicted on him only a couple of nights earlier.

“Are you alright?” Lily asked, genuine concern written on her freckled face.

Remus nodded, “Just scrapes and bruises.” He walked over to the portrait hole and scrambled through but Lily was right behind him, still frowning deeply.

“From what?”

“Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?”

She blushed red and shook her head, “No, er, sorry. Right.”

Remus raised his eyebrows and gestured for the two of them to start walking. This they did, walking along the corridor away from the fat lady, and dogged by a long silence before Lily finally seemed to get herself together again to break it.

“There's no concept of race... or racism at Hogwarts, is there?”

“No, that's a muggle thing.”

“Right,” Lily said, nodding firmly, “Right. And that's why, or part of the reason why, Mary is so happy here.”

“Makes sense,” Remus said nodding along. Where was Lily going with this? Did _she_ even know?

“My parents...” She trailed off, frowning, “Look, they're not evil. They're not members of the BNP or anything like that. They abhor that sort of... but... well... We just, it's... My sister said, when she first saw Mary and her dad...”

Lily trailed off, floundering helplessly. Remus watched her for a moment then sighed. He stopped walking and folded his arms.

“Lily, get to the point.”

She stopped and looked at him.

“I think I've been awful to Mary,” she said, voice breaking slightly, “And I don't want to be awful, I don't want to be the only racist at Hogwarts. I don't...” She trailed off again, then looked at Remus, despairing. “What do I do, Remus?”

He examined her. Her eyes were wide, chin trembling slightly, as she met his gaze. She was upset, that much was obvious: deeply deeply upset that she had hurt her friend in such a way. And there seemed to be a determination there too – to do better, to be better.

Remus came to a decision.

“Right,” he said, tapping his foot against the stone floor, “First of all, you need to understand muggle British history. It's not pretty, the stuff they don't teach at school, but you need to know it. What can you tell me about the Trans-Atlantic Slave trade?”

“Er... that it was stopped when people realised it was bad?”

Remus sighed, “You need to start educating yourself, Lily. That's where you start.”

“Ok,” Lily said, then hesitated, “I don't suppose they'd have books on muggle history in the Hogwarts library.”

Remus shook his head with a snort, “Wizards don't care about muggle history, Lily, even less than muggles do.”

Lily gave a watery laugh, “I don't suppose you have any books?”

Remus considered her, “I don't, but my mum definitely does. I can write home, explain the situation. Mum's all about education as a solution to all society's problems.” He smiled, thinking of all the times his mum had talked about it, his father sitting listening, eyes wide in awe at her passion and eloquence.

“Oh Remus, no don't,” Lily said, horrified. Remus frowned and looked at her. She hurriedly explained, “Dorcas told me and Mary about your mum and how she's... ill. I don't want to be an extra burden on her, Remus, honest I don't.”

Remus felt his stomach drop out. Of course,  _of course._ He'd wanted this lie to spread, to protect his dark secret; but now it just felt terrible and awful and ugly. He swallowed and looked away from Lily's honest gaze.

“Don't worry, Lily,” he said, “Dad can find the books and send them. It won't be a bother to mum at all.”

“Are you sure?” Lily asked, “I just... I don't want to make things worse or...”

“Lily, stop,” Remus said and placed a hand on her shoulder. He tried giving her a reassuring smile, “This is no trouble, and it's important, right?”

Lily nodded, “Yeah.”

“Good then,” Remus said. Then he considered something else, “So what made you realise...” He trailed off, but Lily knew what he was talking about. She looked down at her feet, scuffing them against the stonework, sheepish and uncomfortable.

“Mary and I... we... she, er... I was being an idiot, very rude actually, at her sister's wedding. I was Mary's plus one and well,” she bit her lip: “Mary told me... and I mentioned something my sister said and it was a... yeah.”

“You really need to learn how to speak in full sentences about this,” Remus said with a snort. But he was pleased. Maybe Mary wasn't being overly forgiving towards Lily: maybe the red-head could figure it out, and not be something so damaging and detrimental: she could stop being the only racist at Hogwarts.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Lily said with a laugh. She sighed, “Thanks Remus. For talking to me, for helping. I don't want to put Mary through anymore of... this, and you seem to have a better understanding than anyone else here, bar Mary of course, so... Thanks.”

Remus nodded then shrugged, “I'll never really get it, y'know.” He gestured to his own pale complexion. “My grandad was obviously black, and mum's mixed, but look at me. I'm so white I'm almost see-through.”

Lily snorted. “Yeah, but you do understand more than I do.”

“That's not really saying much Lily, now is it?” Remus said with a smirk, and fortunately Lily saw the humour. She smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, well, me talking to you about it doesn't hurt you, does it?”

“No more than talking to you normally hurts me, I guess.”

He really couldn't help himself. Lily laughed though, and he thought that maybe her sense of humour would be what would save her from all the racism she had to unlearn. Maybe.

Laughing at things made them easier to deal with. He sighed as he considered laughing at lycanthropy: but maybe not everything could be made easier by laughing at it.

Lily cocked her head to one side as the laughter faded away, echoing away down the corridor and leaving them in silence: “Are  _you_ alright, Remus?”

“What?”

“You just look a bit under the weather.”

“Oh no, I'm fine,” Remus said quickly, “This is just what I look like after trying to help Pete with Charms.”

Lily snorted then quickly stifled it, “That's a bit harsh, Remus!” She sighed, “Though he is particularly bad at it. But this year he seems better.”

“I should hope so,” Remus said, “He had tutoring over the summer.” Then he flushed: maybe he shouldn't be spreading that around. “You're not to tell anyone that, Lily.”

“I won't, I won't,” Lily said, crossing her hand over her heart, “Swear.”

“Not even Mary,” Remus hesitated, considering, “Actually, _especially_ not Mary.”

“Alright, alright,” Lily held up her hands, “I'll tell no one. Ok?”

“Good,” Remus said, nodding. Then he looked around. It was getting quite dark now and he was tired, “Head back to the common room?”

Lily nodded, and the two of them retraced their steps back to the fat lady. As they clambered through, Lily pulled a face.

“So does this mean I have to be really nice to James all the time?”

“I wouldn't say _really_ nice,” Remus said, “Just treat him the same as Sirius. They're about the same level of annoying.” He hesitated, “Maybe a bit better than Sirius, actually.”

Lily giggled and they entered the common room laughing together.

“Oi Lupin, you and Evans back together then?”

Remus looked up to see James and Sirius lounging on one of the sofas by the fire. His eyes narrowed and he folded his arms.

“And where have you two been?”

Sirius waved his hand vaguely, “Oh, here and there.”

“Hm, I guess that means I don't want to know.”

“Exactly,” James said with a wink, “It's better for you this way.” He looked over to Lily, slightly nervous, “Alright Evans?”

“Yeah,” Lily said, and she smiled at him. Definite improvement, Remus thought with a strange sense of pride, “And I also don't want to think about what you _two_ idiots could've been up to.”

She emphasised the word _two_ then looked to Remus who rolled his eyes. Was this going to be a thing now – Lily Evans constantly seeking his approval? Oh well – there were worse things after all. He glanced out the window at the slowly waning moon. There were worse things. He shifted uncomfortably before making his excuses and heading to bed.

He'd write home tomorrow. No doubt he could get some books to Lily by the end of the week. But right now he needed a good long sleep.

***

“Wake up Remus.”

No, he thought sleepily: no. He'd only just gone to sleep: surely it couldn't be morning already. He opened an eye and came face to face with James's beaming face. He groaned and rolled over. No.

Then a heavy lump landed on top of him. He yelped and sprung up. Sirius Black was sitting on top of him, grinning broadly. It was dark outside. No. No no no. He needed sleep. It was Monday tomorrow, or later today or whatever, and he had classes that he didn't want to fall asleep in.

“Come on, Remus,” came Peter's sleepy voice from further away, “Let's just get whatever they've planned over with and then we can all go back to sleep.”

“No,” Remus mumbled.

“Yes,” Sirius said, bouncing up and down on his bed. “Yes, yes, yes.”

Remus groaned and gave in. He sat up and glowered round at his three supposed friends. Peter was standing a little further back, looking just as exhausted as Remus felt. But James and Sirius were both wide awake, beaming mischievously and exchanging bright looks. This was not good. It just could not be good with those matching expressions on James and Sirius's faces.

“Come on then, Remus,” Sirius said, grabbing him by the arm and hauling him to his feet, “Under the cloak. Quick, quick. Lots to do, lots to do.”

This was really not good.

“D'you two really need Pete and me?” Remus asked as James threw his invisibility cloak over the four of them.

“'Course we do,” James said, “You're Marauders. And we need as many Marauders as possible for tonight's endeavour.”

“What _is_ tonight's endeavour?” Remus asked, fearing the answer.

“Oh, you'll see, you'll see,” Sirius giggled. This was _really_ not good. Remus glanced longingly back at his bed but then James was herding them out the door and down the stairs to the silent common room below.

Then they headed out the portrait hole and into the shadow-lit corridors beyond.

“Guys, come on,” Remus said, “I'm serious.” He flinched the second the word was out as Sirius turned to him, eyes wide and gleaming. “No, don't say it.”

“Oh, but I like saying it,” Sirius grumbled.

“It wasn't funny the first time,” Remus replied, “And it won't be any more amusing the millionth so please, don't.” He looked about the darkened corridors as they hurried past moonlit windows, “What _are_ we doing?”

“This way.”

Sirius giggled loudly and James nudged him, hushing him severely as the four of them tiptoed past Peeves who was writing swear words in the condensation on an exterior window.

“How derivative,” Sirius said primly then chuckled some more.

Eventually the four of them made their way down the moving staircases to the Entrance Hall. James threw off the cloak after a quick look around.

“Right,” he said, turning to Remus and Peter, “You two are on lookout. Keep the cloak. If Filch comes give us a shout. Sirius and I are gonna be... doing some things in here.” He gestured to the Great Hall.

Oh no, this was  _really_ not good.

“What are you doing?”

“You'll see!” Sirius giggled again. This was so very not not _not_ good. But Remus was too tired to argue so he just nodded.

Sirius and James disappeared into the Great Hall, leaving Remus and Peter under the cloak in the Entrance hall. Time passed. Then some more.

Finally, Remus gave in to the temptation and plonked himself down on the floor, pulling Peter down with him so they were both still under the cloak.

“I'm just gonna have a nap,” Peter said, yawning loudly as he settled down, “Wake me if anything happens.”

“Sure.”

Soon Peter was snoring beside him. Time passed. And then some more. Remus had no clue what James and Sirius could possibly be doing but he supposed it was probably better this way: plausible deniability and all that.

He yawned. A clock was ticking loudly somewhere and he listened. Tick... Tick... Tick...

His eyes drooped and he shook himself: they were supposed to be keeping watch. Tick... Tick... Tick...

He slumped down. Why was the floor so comfortable? Had it always been this comfy? Tick... Tick... Tick... Tick

BANG.

Remus shot awake, furious with himself for falling asleep like that. But it was still so close to the full moon and he had been so so tired. He exchanged a look with Peter, who was awake now too, then they turned as the doors to the Great Hall burst open and James and Sirius came pelting out.

“RUN!”

The two boys sprinted away, heading up the stairs.

“What did they...” Peter looked at Remus who shrugged. He got to his feet, then tiptoed over to the door to the hall: it was still slightly ajar, and he was about to step inside when Peter grabbed him by the arm.

“Wait, look.”

They both looked down. Something was different about the floor: it was kind of shiny and gleaming now. Very strange. Then there was a great yowl and the two of them looked up: Mrs Norris was bouncing around the hall in terror, her claws trying to grasp the floor, but the floor rippled beneath her, making it impossible to get a grip.

“They turned the floor into a giant bouncy castle,” Peter said, awed. Even Remus was impressed: James and Sirius really were quite brilliant, weren't they?

“Mrs Norris!”

The rasping voice of Filch made Remus jump and that was all it took. He slipped, fell back, out of the cloak, and suddenly found himself bouncing uncontrollably across the floor of the Great Hall. He yelped and tried to right himself but this was  _enchanted_ bouncy castle floor: there was nothing he could do to stop himself.

Bouncing. Bouncing. Bouncing.

He passed Mrs Norris mid-flight and the cat and the boy exchanged a horrified look two metres above the ground. Oh, Remus was going to  _kill_ James and Sirius.

“I'll have your guts for this!” Filch cried from the door and Remus twisted to see the angry man waving a fist at him. Then he turned and disappeared, no doubt to get a teacher who could undo the enchantment.

“PETE!” Remus yelled when he was certain the caretaker was gone. He continued to bounce, up and down, whirling around, but there was no reply from his friend. Damnit: Peter had fled too no doubt.

“REMUS LUPIN!”

Oh no. He turned, mid bounce. There stood Professor McGonagall in a floaty nightgown, her nostrils flared so wide that he could see right up them from his great bouncing height above the floor.

“Get down here right now,” McGonagall yelled.

“I. Can't.” Remus cried between bounces.

McGonagall said something under her breath which Remus was sure was some sort of swearword before whipping out her wand. She pointed it at him and suddenly he stopped bouncing, instead hovering a metre or so above the floor. She twitched her wand and he came zooming out of the Great Hall, landing in a heap on the Entrance Hall floor.

He lay there for a second, tempted to just fall asleep here so he wouldn't have to deal with this. McGonagall came over to him. She was shaking with anger.

“And what is the meaning of this?”

Remus sighed, “Honestly professor,” he said sadly, “I don't think there's supposed to be any meaning to it.”

McGonagall's eyes darkened then a yowl from behind her reminded them both of Mrs Norris. McGonagall turned on her heel, waved her wand and a second later the disgruntled cat came zooming out of the Great Hall, landing not far from Remus.

“You and all three of your friends I will deal with tomorrow,” McGonagall said and Remus hurriedly sat up.

“It was just me, professor, honest.”

“Sure it was, Mr Lupin,” McGonagall said then gestured for him to get up, “I'll deal with this tomorrow. I'm taking you back to Gryffindor tower now. Come on.”

Remus followed his head of house back up the stairs and along the moonlit corridors to the portrait of the fat lady.

“All four of you,” McGonagall said, turning to him as the portrait swung open, “My office, first thing.”

“But professor, honestly, it was just me,” Remus said but McGonagall wasn't listening.

“You make sure you're all there,” she said, then sighed, eyes tired, “Now. I have a bouncing floor to deal with, of all things.”

And she strode off, leaving Remus to crawl morosely back through the portrait hole.

The other three were all sitting in the common room, looking anxious when Remus entered. Sirius got to his feet first, hurrying over.

“You alright, Remus?” He asked, “Pete told us you ended up on the floor. You're not hurt are you?”

He sounded so bloody concerned but Remus wasn't having any of it. “I've had bloody enough of this!” He said, angry. They didn't care. They just didn't care, did they? “I've got enough going on in my life without you three being all...” He let out a frustrated huff, “So bloody stupid.” He turned on James: “Why a bouncy floor? Why?”

“It was funny.”

Remus growled, “I'll give you funny, mate. I'm bruised all over thanks to that stupid floor. And McGonagall looks like she wants to murder me. So.” He raised a hand to his face: he was just so bloody tired.

“You're not the only one with problems.” Sirius sounded angry, “And this was harmless enough. It's just a way to blow of steam, to have a laugh.”

“Oh, cos we're all laughing so bloody hard right now?” Remus asked, arms folded so tightly they hurt.

“Well we would be if you weren't being such a tosser,” Sirius snapped, “So we get detention? So what? It's not the end of the world. There are worse things.”

“Oh and don't I know it,” Remus hissed. Sirius looked slightly taken aback but he refolded his arms, looking menacing.

“Alright, alright,” James said, holding up his hands, “We're sorry, Remus, honest. We didn't think it through. We shouldn't have involved you if you didn't want to.”

“I'm not sorry,” Sirius said and James rolled his eyes.

“Sirius!”

“No, don't defend him James,” Remus said, “If he's not sorry, then that's on him. Stupid prat doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself.”

“That's not true!”

“Oh really?” Remus asked, feeling vindictive, “Then why has the year so far been all about the Black family drama, defined for all of us by Sirius Black's bloody moods and grumps and stupid whining.”

“That's not fair!”

“Oh really – why the hell not?”

Sirius was silent, breathing heavily. Wow, Remus thought: he'd rendered Sirius Black speechless.

“You're a right tosser,” Sirius said after awhile, “What is it? Your time of the month or something?”

Remus took a step back, horrified. Because that was the truth, wasn't it? He was so upset because it _was_ his time of the month, in a manner of speaking. But they didn't know that. They couldn't. He pulled himself together but not before Sirius gave him a funny look.

“I'm going to bed.” He said stonily, “McGonagall wants to see all four of us first thing tomorrow in her office. So be there.”

“Oh, so you grassed us up, did you?” Sirius asked sharply, and Remus turned on him.

“You think so little of me, do you?” Sirius looked a bit sheepish but Remus didn't care. “If you must know, I repeatedly told her that it was just me, but for some reason she didn't bloody believe me. Can't think why.”

And with that, he turned on his heel and headed up the stairs. He slammed the dormitory door behind him and drew his curtains firmly shut before lying down, head on the pillow, and tried to get some sleep.

But the blasted thing eluded him, and he was still awake when the other three made their way up, James and Peter talking quietly whilst Sirius was an ominous silent presence.

Stupid tosser, Remus thought bitterly, and turned over, trying fruitlessly to get back to sleep again.

He woke the next morning angry, bitter and sleep-deprived, and in no mood to make amends. Stupid tossers, depriving him of his bloody sleep! Remus was not happy, not at all.

And why should he have always be the one making things up with the others? He was entitled to be angry with them from time to time. He really bloody well was. So there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my final update before my self-imposed writing break will be tomorrow, and I hope that chapter gives you guys some closure on some things. I don't want to spoil it but I'm sure you could hazard a pretty accurate guess as to what happens. 
> 
> Anyway – thank you for reading, bookmarking, kudosing and following along. Comments and criticism are always always welcome too.
> 
> Please let me know if/where my content warnings (CW's) are slipping up. This upcoming break will also be a time for me to reflect on the story and character arcs etc, and whether something in this fic is perpetuating narratives that I don't want to perpetuate, and how I can improve things/ change things to make this fic as safe and inclusive as possible. So now is a particularly good time for constructive criticism of all sorts before I get back to writing and planning and actually Working On This Fic, rather than just editing and re-reading (which is all I'm doing atm)!
> 
> Catch you guys tomorrow with Chapter 17! xo


	17. Early October 1972: REMUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Remus chapter. I wonder why...

**Early October 1972**

_REMUS._

He knew he was being a prat about this, but for some reason Remus couldn't seem to bring himself to apologise to Sirius for their argument. James was right: it was just some fun; a way to let off steam, and no one had got hurt so what _was_ Remus's problem?

Remus didn't have the answer to that though he did have a sneaky suspicion that it was something to do with his own low self-esteem, combined with the fact that he had been lying to his friends for so long now, and that a big part of him really didn't think he deserved them as friends in the first place so was trying to push them away before they pushed him.

Whatever it was, Remus was now no longer talking to any of the other Marauders. It was good he was back on speaking terms with Lily, because he would've been really bloody lonely if not.

After the bouncy castle incident, the four of them had all been dealt detention by a livid McGonagall and, much to Remus's horror, he was to spend his with Sirius: _just_ Sirius. It was so bloody unfair. He recalled last year having detentions with Sirius and the laughs they'd had, messing about and getting each other in trouble.

But it was so different now.

McGonagall oversaw their detention. She set them lines and there was a stony and uncomfortable silence permeating the classroom. Still, both of them were getting on with their work so there was nothing for McGonagall to tell them off for.

Eventually she had to leave the room, called away by another member of staff to deal with a first year squabble.

“And don't think of misbehaving,” she added sternly, before leaving the room.

Neither Sirius nor Remus looked up from their work, transcribing the words over and over:  _I will not make the Great Hall bouncy ever again, nor will I sneak about the castle after hours._

Then Sirius's quill stopped moving, the repetitive scratching sound coming to an abrupt halt.

“I know, you know.” He said, voice soft. “I worked it out, Remus.”

“What are you talking about?” Remus didn't look up from his parchment: no doubt this was another stupid prank or something.

“You don't like the moon,” Sirius said and Remus's heart started beating rapidly out of time. No.

No. No _. No_.

“You don't like the moon,” Sirius repeated, “And when I mentioned your time of the month you went all weird, and I checked. I looked up all the times you've been missing.”

NO NO NO.

“They all match up with the full moon.”

Remus couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't. He couldn't. This couldn't be real. No No _No_.

“Remus, I know you're a werewolf.”

SNAP.

The quill in Remus's hand broke into the parchment, dark ink spreading across his neatly written words. He was shaking. He couldn't look up. He couldn't look at Sirius and see it in his grey eyes. He couldn't bear to see that expression on Sirius's face: anyone but Sirius. No no _no_.

“Remus?” Sirius's chair scraped loudly and suddenly pale hands were clasping his own. “Remus, breathe.”

He did just that, drawing in a rattling breath, still not looking up. Instead he focused on the long fingers holding his own: Sirius's fingers. Sirius knew. Sirius _knew_.

“What are you doing out of your seat, Black?” McGonagall's voice was harsh and clear, coming from the door behind them. “Back to work, else it'll be an extra hour for the both of you.”

Sirius squeezed Remus's hands then hurried back to his seat.

Remus's mind was spinning still but he was now doing as Sirius had instructed; still taking steady breaths in and out. In... Out... In... Out...

He got back to work, pulling over an unspoilt piece of parchment and rummaging around in his bag for a new quill. The words no longer held any meaning. Nothing held any meaning. Remus was spinning and whirring, falling and flailing inside his own head, but his hand continued to write out the words McGonagall had set them, clear and neat and repeated. Over and over.

Sirius knew.

Sirius knew.

Sirius _knew._

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, McGonagall came over. She nodded happily with Remus's work and dismissed him before heading over to Sirius.

Remus moved quickly, gathering up his bag and ink-pot and almost tripping over his feet as he escaped the classroom. He had to get away. He had to run.

Run. Run. _Run_.

The door clicked shut behind him and he did just that.

He ran away, sprinting down the corridor just as the door opened again, and then there was the sound of pounding footsteps behind him.

“Remus!” Sirius shouted after him but Remus didn't stop, didn't turn, didn't look. He didn't want to see. He couldn't. He could _not_. Not on Sirius's face. No no _no_.

He had to get away. Run run _run._ He slid down steps and leapt through low doors until suddenly he was rushing down the steps into the Entrance hall and bursting through the doors out into the Hogwarts grounds. Run. Run. _Run._

He had no plan as to where he was running to, only that he was running from Sirius. He was running from the look that would be on his face: the fear, the anger, the horror and disappointment. Vaguely Remus realised that he was heading downhill and soon the great lake appeared before him.

Dammit. Now where?

He slowed, trying to figure out a path to take, and that was all it took. Sirius grabbed him by the arm and held him in place as he struggled.

“Remus,” he panted, “Remus, stop!”

“NO!” He sprung free but there was nowhere to run to, nowhere to go. So he looked. He looked at Sirius's face.

Sirius was out of breath, like Remus; cheeks tinged red from exertion. His mouth was slightly parted, taking in air rapidly but it was his eyes: the truth would be in his grey eyes. So Remus looked at them.

They were wide but not horrified; slightly wet but not scared; and there was something else, something else that wasn't anger or fear or disappointment.

“Remus, you're my friend,” Sirius said, his words slightly choked, “You're my friend and I love you and it doesn't matter that you're a werewolf. It doesn't matter: you're Remus. You're still Remus.”

Remus choked back a sob. He was trembling and he couldn't look away from those grey eyes. Those grey eyes that were full of honest truth: it didn't matter to him. It didn't matter.

“But that's just because you don't _know!_ ”

“Then help me understand.” Sirius's voice was open and honest. So bloody naïve.

“I'm a monster!” There. The truth. Sirius shook his head and wiped the tears furiously from his eyes.

“No you're not,” he said and reached for Remus but Remus recoiled. “You're not a monster. You're Remus. You're my friend.”

This was so much worse than fear or horror or anger. So much worse. Remus sank down onto the ground. The sun was setting and the world was in a haze of dusk: warm and strange and ethereal. And Remus cried.

“You don't understand,” he said through painful sobs. “I'm a _dark_ _creature_ : a monster.”

“NO,” Sirius shouted, his voice carrying across the lake, echoing about the gold-dusk world. He sank down beside Remus and shook him by the shoulders, “You're Remus. You eat too much chocolate and love to read. You drink tea and keep us in check. You tell me the truth when no one else will. You're kind and sweet, and help Pete with Charms homework because he's bloody useless at it, and you're friends with Lily Evans even though she's a stuck-up snob. And you _understand_ things, people, the world, in a way that's just...” He trailed off.

Remus had stopped crying now. He was staring at Sirius in awe. Sirius Black knew he was a werewolf but was refusing to accept that it made him evil. Bloody Sirius Black. Only Sirius could be so... so bull-headed and stubborn and brave and brilliant and damnit, Remus actually almost believed him.

“The Marauders stick together,” Sirius said, voice solemn and quieter now, “No matter what. That's what friendship is. That's what you do for the people you care about.”

Remus stared up at Sirius. The last rays of sunlight caught in his black hair, turning it auburn at the top and making him shine, like a fairy, or an avenging angel. His grey eyes glistened as he stared down at Remus, solemn and deep and powerful.

And Remus believed him.

“Ok.” He said, voice trembling, feeling so little and small and insignificant beside the spectacular boy beside him. Sirius Black was so bloody spectacular. “Alright then.”

Sirius beamed and, Remus thought, everything seemed worth it for that smile. “James and Peter ought to know.”

Remus closed his eyes, feeling everything fall away from him, but it was alright because Sirius was here now, and Sirius was in control. He knew what to do. It was alright so long as Sirius Black was there beside him.

He nodded, “Ok then.”

“Remus,” Sirius said and pulled him into a hug. Remus breathed deeply. Sirius smelt nice: like wet grass and rain and long summer evenings. He made him feel safe, like nothing bad would ever happen to him again. Like that werewolf had never broken into his bedroom in the first place, and he was still a small child, innocent and unaware of the evil that lurked in the shadows of the world.

“Let's go up and tell them now,” Sirius added and Remus nodded, helpless in the limelight of those powerful grey eyes, solemn and wise and burning in the dusk sunlight. Sirius Black wasn't even thirteen years old yet, but in this moment he seemed eternal.

The two boys got to their feet. Sirius slung an arm over Remus's shoulder and began to chatter away about this thing or that, happy and free and brilliant.

And together they walked back up towards the castle.

***

“You're joking!”

James sat up on his bed and stared between the two of them. Remus shuffled but Sirius's arm was still tight around his shoulder.

“We're not,” he replied calmly, “Remus Lupin is a werewolf. His mum isn't sick. That's just been an excuse for why he disappears every full moon.”

James frowned. Remus glanced over to the other boy in the room. Pete's eyes were wide, his mouth slightly ajar. Remus looked away, down at the floor as he fiddled with a loose piece of thread on his sleeve. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea.

“Bloody hell,” James said, and scrambled out of bed to come over to them, “That's bloody incredible.”

Remus looked up, eyebrows raised: incredible was not a word he would use to describe it, but that was typical of James, wasn't it?

“That is so cool.” Pete said suddenly and the three turned to him. Remus sighed: cool wasn't a word he'd use either. Clearly the three of them just weren't getting it.

“I'm a monster,” he said and Sirius hit him lightly on the arm.

“No you're not,” he said firmly, “We've been other this, Remus. You're not a monster. You're our friend.”

“I turn into a werewolf, a bloodthirsty animal every month,” Remus said bitterly, “I'm a monster.”

“Can't you be both?” Peter asked, getting to his feet and coming over. “I mean, yeah, you turn into that once a month and that's pretty scary and everything; but you're also Remus Lupin: the boy who gets me through Charms and doesn't like breaking the rules,” He hesitated, considering, “Who doesn't like breaking the rules _as_ _much_ as the rest of us that is.” He corrected hastily.

Remus swallowed.

“He's _not_ a monster,” Sirius said, glowering at Pete.

“But I am,” Remus said. “I can't help it, I just am.”

“That's right,” James said and Sirius glowered at him too, “You _can't_ help it. But you _can_ help the other stuff: the stuff you _choose_ to do like helping Pete with Charms.”

“What's your point?”

“Simple,” James said with a shrug, “It doesn't matter that you're a werewolf. Well – it does but only because I guess it's not something you enjoy.”

Remus snorted: _that_ was an understatement and a half.

“So,” James said, clapping his hands together, “You're still our Remus, our friend and fellow Marauder. Pranking genius, Mr Innocent-face. Y'know,” James shrugged, “Remus Lupin stuff.”

Remus swallowed: there was a lump in his throat and he didn't want to start crying again. He'd already gone through all of that with Sirius in the twilight-dusk, and he didn't fancy doing it again in the dorm room, especially as everything felt a lot less ethereal and other-worldly here: it was all a lot more real in here than it had been by the lake with Sirius. With Sirius looking so... so... so beautiful.

Remus swallowed. _That_ was a new thought. He pushed it away for now.

“So, the other day, when Sirius said that thing about your time of the month,” James said slowly and Remus nodded, blushing a bit.

“Yeah, I get a bit... emotional near the full moon,” he said sheepishly.

“Well,” Sirius said, clapping him on the back, “Now we know that, we'll know to be nice to you round then, and feed you lots of chocolate.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, blushing even harder for some reason at the smile on Sirius's face. “Guess so.”

“So,” James said, settling back down on his bed, “What's it like? Being a werewolf and all?”

Sirius flashed him a look, arm going back protectively over Remus's shoulder. “Don't be prat, Potter.”

“I'm not,” James said, arms up in defence, “If we know, we can help, right?”

“It's not a problem Sirius,” Remus said, slinking away from the other boy to sit on the edge of his own bed, “I can tell you guys a bit about it. It's not exactly nice but...” He trailed off, shrugging.

“So how long have you been, y'know?” Peter asked, “Do you know who turned you?”

Remus shook his head, “I don't know the wolf's name but I was five years old when it... when I was...”

He trailed off: Sirius had gone very pale very quickly and Remus worried the other boy might collapse. Both James and Peter had gone quiet as well.

“Bloody hell,” James said after another moment of silence, “That's so young. How did it happen? Were you wandering about in a forest or something or...”

Remus shook his head, “I was just in my bedroom, in bed, and he broke in through the window. Or that's what my dad said.”

“That's insane,” Peter said, then he frowned, “Was it on purpose?”

“No, no,” Remus said firmly, “When we transform we can't control our actions. The wolf takes over, it... it's not nice.” He finished lamely.

There was another silence. Then Sirius spoke.

“Does it hurt?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you feel your body changing?” Peter added, “Like, do you feel the change, the snout and claws and everything?”

Remus nodded. Talking about this wasn't actually as bad as he would have thought: it somehow made it easier to bear with his friends, the Marauders, on side.

“Yeah, I feel it all. Bones popping and growing and my face lengthening and yeah, it bloody hurts. Then the wolf takes over and I...” he hesitated, trying to describe it, “I guess it's a bit like going to sleep and not remembering a dream. The next morning I'm aching and battered by the wolf but I don't really recall what's happened.”

“That's awful,” Sirius said and he plumped himself down next to Remus. “Poor Remus, to be so... the stupid moon.” He stopped then cocked his head to one side, looking at Remus from beneath those very long lashes. Remus swallowed. What was he thinking? “Moony.”

“What?”

Sirius jumped up, bed creaking, “That's what we should call you – Moony!”

Remus frowned, “But wouldn't people figure it out?”

“Nah, this is a great idea,” James said quickly, “We can just say we caught you with your trousers down and got a good look at your bum – you were _mooning_ us!”

Remus's frown deepened, “I think I might prefer people knowing I'm a bloodthirsty monster actually.” And both Peter and James laughed, but Sirius didn't.

“You're not a monster, Remus,” he said, barely containing the whine. “You're _Remus_. And now you're Moony too, our Moony. Moony of the Marauders!”

“Yeah, that nickname's sticking,” Peter said, still giggling, “I can't wait to see the girls' faces when we explain the mooning lie.”

“More like just one girl's face in particular,” James said, snorting. Peter threw a pillow at him.

“Mary MacDonald is flawless.”

“Yeah, she's not the issue in any potential relationship between the two of you,” Sirius said and Remus hit him gently. Honestly, the boy could be so insensitive sometimes, his beauty be damned.

“I still blame you lot for the break-up,” Peter grumbled.

“Oh come of it Petey-boy,” Sirius said, “Lily and Remus made up, didn't they? She forgave him for it. There's got to be something else to your break-up than just that harmless prank.”

Remus glanced over to Peter, curious despite himself: it did seem strange that Mary and Peter had broken up over something so seemingly small. Peter huffed and looked away, but the other three weren't having it.

“Oh come on Pete,” James said from where he was lounging across his bed, “Tell all. This is a safe space. We've had a werewolf confession already tonight – I'm sure we can handle whatever you've got to say.”

Peter sighed then chewed his lip, “Fine then.” He said.

“Result!” Sirius cried and laid back against Remus's bed, hands behind his head. “Do tell.”

“Well, she just asked me to promise her something, that's all,” Peter said slowly, “She made me promise her never to prank her or anything.”

“And you broke your promise,” Remus said, eyebrows raised. Oh Peter, what a fool.

Sirius took a sharp breath in then laughed, “Peter, you never break a promise to a lady.”

Remus poked him, “Like you'd know. You offend most ladies you interact with on a daily basis.”

Sirius winked, “All part of the charm.”

Peter sighed, “It is as well. Girls love Sirius, even though he's a right tosser.”

“They do?” James sat up, looking between all three of them, head zipping about almost comically. Then his gaze landed on Remus, “You know the girls, Moony, are they taken in by Black's charm?”

Remus sighed, ignoring the use of his new nickname for now. “None of the girl's in our year do, least not in Gryffindor. Though I think Dorcas might be a bit sweet on him.”

“Dorcas Meadowes?” Sirius asked, eyes alight with mischief. Oh dear Merlin, what had Remus set off here?

“Well there isn't any other Dorcas is there?”

“Dorcas Meadowes,” Sirius said, grin widening, “She's not bad, is she?” Remus hit him on the leg.

“Don't be a tosser.”

“What about me?” James asked, almost leaping off his bed in his excitement, “Do any of the girls like me?”

Remus didn't say anything, trying to come up with something nice to say and unable to. Sirius burst out in peals of laughter.

“Ha, that told you James,” he cackled. James threw a pillow at his face. Remus snorted and soon the four of them were engaged in a rather vicious pillow fight.

Well, Remus thought, as Peter landed a rather hash blow on his nose, knocking him off the bed to land on the floor with a thud: this was certainly not how he imagined this day ending. He'd started it not talking to any of his friends, and now here he was, ending it with not only his three best mates back, but also with them knowing his dark and dangerous secret. And far from despising him for it, they still wanted to be friends.

He glanced between the three of them: Peter, wide-eyed and loyal; James, boisterous and loving; and Sirius. Remus took a sharp breath in: _Sirius Black,_ who was adamant that he wasn't a monster. The first person outside his parents (who didn't really count) to accept him for what he was, in all his horror and monstrosity.

“Look out Moony!”

And a pillow smashed firmly in his face, but Remus didn't mind. How could he? He had his three best mates and his whole life ahead of him. Things couldn't get any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is where I leave you, for now. Sorry guys but I really must go write stuff rather than just re-read and edit. Tis a silly thing but apparently in order to have written something you have to actually write it. Sounds fake but ok, I'll go along with it.
> 
> I'll get some writing done and then come back to post the next chapters again, probably in a similar posting routine as has been – twice a week, Mondays and Fridays. But I can't say when exactly this will be, although I can be definite in that it will be before Christmas, hopefully November time, but if I give an exact date my head will rebel and nothing will get done. Tis a silly thing but I do not want to anger the angry anti-deadline monster in me.
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos and bookmarks. Thank you for reading and following, and being insightful and kind and brilliant. You lot all rock and if you are new to this story then please please do subscribe so you catch me when I start posting regularly again.
> 
> Look after yourselves and till my next update, adieu xo


	18. Late October 1972: SIRIUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time, no see. I am officially BACK TO UPDATING! Hope you've been well xx
> 
> CW: bats

**Late October 1972**

_SIRIUS._

It was the night of the full moon and Sirius couldn't sleep. This was the first one since he'd figured it out; the first one since Remus had come clean to them all about being a werewolf. And Sirius couldn't bloody sleep. Nor could James or Peter, but they didn't seem half as worried as they ought to be.

“Look,” Peter said rationally, “He's done it so many times before we knew about it, and he was fine, so logically he should be fine tonight too.”

But he still stayed up by the window with the other two, staring out at the round silvery orb of light hanging in the sky, ruining Remus's life. Sirius glowered up at it: how could he ever have thought it beautiful? It was ugly and insubstantial and stupid stupid stupid. It wasn't fair that something so ugly could ruin Remus's life. It wasn't fair. He kicked out at the edge of the nearest bed and James placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Calm down, Sirius,” he said firmly and Sirius glowered at him. When had telling someone to calm down ever worked?

“I can't _calm down_ ,” he snapped, “My mate is in pain out there!”

“He's our friend too, Sirius,” Peter said reasonably. Stupid bloody Peter being so bloody reasonable and calm. Remus was transforming into a bloody werewolf out there! Sirius was perfectly entitled to not be calm.

“Shut up Peter, you dumpy tosser,” he growled and James glared at him.

“We're all worried Sirius,” he snapped, “Don't be a prat about it.”

Sirius huffed. Stupid James. Stupid Peter. Stupid moon.

The distant sound of howling broke him out of his mood and he pressed his nose against the glass, listening intently. That  _had_ to be Remus, right? He glanced at the other two. They both looked worried, Peter chewing on his bottom lip and James pushing his glasses hard against his nose.

Sirius let out a cry and looked down: he'd accidentally drawn blood where he was clenching his hands into fists. He winced. He really needed to cut his fingernails. They were almost like claws.

“Bloody hell, Sirius,” James murmured and he scowled at him.

“I've had worse.” He said and looked back outside, “And Remus is going through so much worse right now.”

No one disputed this fact.

The night persisted and the next morning Sirius woke up with his face pressed against the glass. He peeled himself away and looked about. James was curled up on the floor whilst Peter had managed to make it back to his bed, though he was still clothed and atop the duvet.

Sirius looked back outside then stretched: now to find Remus.

***

“You shouldn't be in here!”

“Like we'd not come and see you,” Sirius retorted, staring down at his werewolf friend tucked up under the white sheets of a Hospital Wing bed.

“We brought chocolate,” Pete said and that quieted Remus down somewhat. He took the bar of Honeyduke's finest from Peter with a small murmur of thanks. Then he continued to glare around at the three of them.

“Pomfrey will kill you.”

“Nah she won't,” Sirius said, “I'll just whip out some of that Sirius Black hypnotic charm, right Pete?”

Peter rolled his eyes but didn't disagree. James perched himself down by Remus's head and looked over at his friend with a deep frown.

“You look bloody awful.”

Sirius snorted and Remus raised his eyebrows, mouth still full of chocolate, “And you wonder why you're not the charming one?”

“Manners, Moony,” Sirius said, putting on his best Walburga impression, “Don't eat with your mouth full.”

Peter chuckled and Remus smiled, but it was clearly a reluctant one. “You lot are awful.” But from the expression on his face he could've just as easily been saying _You lot are amazing_. Or at least, that was how Sirius was choosing to interpret his words.

“Now, Mr Lupin, have you taken your potions – oh!”

Madam Pomfrey appeared behind the long white curtains and froze at the sight of the three boys huddled round Remus's bed. Sirius beamed at her: charm offensive on.

“Why Poppy,” he said confidently, “You look absolutely stunning today. Have you done something with your hair?” He hastily took note of what state her hair was in for future reference: the braided afro was tucked firmly out of the way under her nurse's cap.

Pomfrey's eyes widened and she stared at Sirius. “What is going on here?”

“We're visiting our poor sickly friend,” Sirius said, “Because we are such caring people. Is it not your hair then? Perhaps that's a new apron? There's certainly something more beautiful about you than usual.”

Remus stifled a snort from behind him, but Sirius was determined: he would charm Pomfrey into letting them stay or so help him he'd die trying.

“Truly, you are star fallen to earth, to grace us mere mortals with - ”

“Alright, that's enough Mr Black,” Pomfrey said sternly but Sirius swore he saw her lip quirk as though she were forcing herself not to smile.

“But will I ever be able to compliment your beauty enough, Poppy?”

“Madam Pomfrey to you, Black,” she said sternly. Damnit, Sirius thought: foiled by propriety. James was sniggering too now as Pomfrey continued: “I don't know how you three knew Mr Lupin was in here and to be frank I'm not sure I want to know.”

“Oh, we know he's a werewolf,” Peter piped up. James hit him but too late. Pomfrey's eyes widened and Sirius groaned: now they were really in trouble.

“You don't?!” She cried, shocked, and when none of them could meet her eyes, she gasped. “You do! Right, this is beyond me.”

“What are you going to do?” James asked, sounding almost as nervous as Sirius now felt.

“I'm getting Professor McGonagall.”

All three of them groaned and Sirius looked over to see Remus frowning deeply. He reached out without thinking, taking the other boy's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“It's alright, Moony,” he said. Remus nodded but didn't look up.

Pomfrey bustled away and the four Marauders were left in an awkward silence.

“Great. Well bloody done Pete,” James grumbled, “Now we're all for it.”

Peter held up his hands, defensive, “Well I didn't know we weren't supposed to say.”

“Too stupid to figure it out yourself?” Sirius said, feeling angry with the other boy: Remus could be in a lot of trouble for this. It was bad. Potentially _really_ bad.

“Don't be harsh on him,” Remus said, squeezing Sirius's hand back, “This is my fault.”

“Oh bloody hell, Moony,” Sirius retorted, “How did you get to that stupid conclusion?”

“I shouldn't have told you about my condition.”

“Um actually, I think what happened is Sirius figured it out,” James said, “That's hardly your fault, Remus.”

Sirius turned on Remus, triumphant, “So it's _my_ fault, not yours.”

At that moment Pomfrey returned, bustling into their strange Marauder argument with the vigour only a medi-witch who'd seen too many strange magical ailments from Hogwarts students to be surprised by much anymore.

“McGonagall wants to see the three of you in her office,” she said, “This is beyond me. Of you go. Not you dear.” She added as Remus made to get out of bed. “You're still too unwell. Now let's see that wound on your leg.

“What wound?” Sirius asked, staring at Remus in concern. What had the wolf done to his friend? Was it bad?

“Out, Black,” Pomfrey said and James nudged him.

“C'mon, Sirius. We shouldn't keep McGonagall waiting.”

Sirius reluctantly let go of Remus's hand and followed after James and Peter as they exited through the curtains. “We'll come back, Moony,” he promised. Remus nodded, jaw tight, and Sirius almost went back to his side, but Peter grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away.

“C'mon, Sirius,” he said, “There's nothing we can do here, and if we keep McGonagall waiting that can only make it worse.”

Why did Peter have to be right _now_? Sirius nodded and, with one last glance at Remus, hurried after the other two. Time to charm McGonagall it seemed.

***

McGonagall glowered down at them. It seemed she was not in the mood to be charmed, but nevertheless Sirius persisted.

“Minnie, have you done something new with your hair?” He asked, “Truly you look more beautiful than normal. I fear my heart cannot take it!” To reiterate his point, Sirius clasped his hand to his chest and sighed, longingly.

“Enough, Black,” McGonagall said shortly, “Now is not the time for your nonsense.”

So much for his supposed hypnotic charm, Sirius thought bitterly. He folded his arms and scowled up at their head of house. McGonagall returned the scowl magnificently.

“This isn't going to harm Remus, is it professor?” James asked, tentatively, “If anyone's to blame it's us.”

“Me specifically,” Sirius added, “I was the one who confronted him about it. I figured it out.”

“Look, boys,” McGonagall said, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose, “This is more serious than any of your childish pranks, and as such - ”

She broke off at a knock on her office door, calling for whomever was outside to come in. The door swung open and there stood Professor Dumbledore. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This was bad. If the headmaster was involved then this was bad. Sirius would never forgive himself if something bad happened to Remus. What if they made him leave Hogwarts forever? What would Sirius do then?

He exchanged a horrified look with James whose mouth was open in shock.

“Mr Potter, Mr Pettigrew,” Dumbledore said, nodding to each of them in turn, his eyes solemn, “Mr Black.”

“Please professor,” Sirius said hurriedly, “It's my fault, all my fault. If someone has to leave then it should be me. Please don't punish Remus for what I did. Please professor.”

Dumbledore held up his hand and Sirius instantly fell silent. “That will not be necessary Mr Black.”

“Will Remus be alright?” Peter asked, chewing on his bottom lip.

Dumbledore came into the office, taking a stand behind McGonagall's desk. “No one is in trouble, Mr Pettigrew,” he said softly, “But I must impress on you the importance of this secret.”

“We know, professor,” James said hurriedly, “We understand.”

“Lycanthropy is no small matter, Mr Potter,” Dumbledore said, “If anyone outside the people in this room, as well as Remus himself and Madam Pomfrey, were to find out, it would spell not just the end of Remus's time here at Hogwarts but a Ministry inquiry.”

Sirius's throat had gone very dry: they could arrest Remus? They could lock him up, take him far away. He thought of the stories he'd heard of Azkaban. They wouldn't put him there, would they?”

“As such,” Dumbledore went on, “I hope you are all prepared for the secrecy I must swear you to.”

“Of course, professor,” James said quickly, “We swear. We swear. I swear we won't tell another soul.”

Dumbledore nodded, turning to the other two.

“I promise too, professor,” Peter said, voice small but certain. Sirius nodded fervently.

“Me too,” he croaked. His voice was so hoarse he could barely get the words out: “I promise. I promise, I swear.”

Dumbledore's solemn expression broke out into a bright smile, “Good. Then if we are all on the same page, I see no need to take further action here.” He turned to McGonagall, “I'll see you at the staff meeting later this evening then, professor.”

McGonagall nodded and got to her feet, holding the door open for Dumbledore as he swept away. She closed it with a click and turned to the still seated Marauders.

“Well then,” she said, voice quiet, “That's that sorted then.”

“So it's just you and Pomfrey and Dumbledore who know?” Sirius asked her and she nodded, giving him a weak smile.

“And now you three too.”

“Remus is going to be ok, isn't he professor?” Peter piped up, “I mean, this isn't something that'll get worse as he gets older, right?”

McGonagall's face was unreadable as she came over and sat back down with a sigh, “Honestly, Mr Pettigrew, no one can be quite sure. Lycanthropy isn't well studied. It's hard to know for certain.”

“So he might hurt himself even more,” Sirius asked, wide eyed and fearful.

“He'll be alright, Mr Black,” McGonagall said firmly, “Madam Pomfrey is a highly trained medi-witch, a scientist and an expert in her field. Mr Lupin is in the best care.”

“Yes, but what about after Hogwarts?” James asked, “What then?”

McGonagall opened her mouth but no words came out. She swallowed and closed it. “I think we're done here, Mr Potter. The three of you may go.”

“Can we go see Remus?” Sirius asked and McGonagall examined him carefully over the rim of her glasses. Then she sighed and nodded.

“If Madam Pomfrey allows it then I see no reason to forbid you.”

Sirius was on his feet in a second. “Thank you, professor,” he said, and hurried out the door, James and Peter fast on his heels.

The three of them made their way back to the Hospital Wing and came face to face with Madam Pomfrey at the door. She frowned down at them but Sirius was determined.

“Professor McGonagall practically insisted that we be allowed to see him,” he said stubbornly and Pomfrey considered him for a long moment. Then she sighed and gestured them inside.

“But do not exhaust him.”

“We won't!” James cried as the three of them bundled in. Remus was still lying down, eyes closed, and Sirius sat down carefully on the edge of his bed.

“Hey,” he said softly and Remus opened his eyes, blinking wearily.

“Well?”

“It's all fine,” Peter said from the other side of the bed, “Dumbledore swore us to secrecy and we're all good.”

“Yeah,” James said with a bright smile, “Us knowing your secret is legitimate now.”

“You're welcome,” Peter said and Sirius reluctantly smiled. It was better this way, he supposed: now they could visit Remus after the full moon without alerting suspicion.

“You know,” James said, helping himself to some of Remus's left over chocolate, “We should start planning something for Halloween.”

“Bit late, isn't it?” Remus asked, taking his chocolate back from James with a small huff. Sirius smirked at James's wide eyed expression. Never take Moony's chocolate.

“Well, not really,” James said, “We still have time. Didn't you say you found a nest of live bats in that abandoned classroom, Pete?”

Peter frowned, “Yeah, but why...” He trailed off.

Sirius laughed, “Brilliant.” Remus sighed but didn't try to dissuade them.

Halloween, Sirius decided, was going to be epic.

***

What was it with Halloween and pranks going awry, Sirius wondered as the horde of giant bats dive-bombed the Gryffindor table for a third time. Whose idea was it to enlarge the stupid flapping creatures anyway? He ducked under the table where most of Gryffindor was already huddled.

Oh right, he realised as Remus glowered at him, it had been _his_ idea.

“Happy Halloween guys,” he said and James snorted. Remus folded his arms and sighed.

“Normal sized bats would have been fine.”

“D'you think they think we're moths or something?” Pete asked from slightly further down the under-table sanctuary. “They eat moths, don't they?”

“I guess with their size now, we probably look like moths or something,” Sirius said, considering it. Then he yelped as someone behind him hit him hard on the back of the head. He turned to see Lily Evans sitting there looking furious.

“You idiot, Black,” she said then gestured to a shaking Dorcas Meadowes, “Dorcas is deeply afraid of bats.”

Sirius shifted, uncomfortable. “Uh, sorry.”

“I'm sorry, what was that?” Lily asked sweetly, “I couldn't hear you over the horrified screams and great flapping wings of the giant bats?!” She looked almost wild with anger.

“Uh...” Sirius shifted away, ending up halfway on James who shoved him off. He sprawled against Remus who sighed, again. Seriously, Sirius thought, if there were sighing competitions then Remus would win them all.

“FINITE!”

Dumbledore's voice was loud and bellowing and suddenly the great flapping of wings stopped. Sirius exchanged a nervous look with James who took a deep breath then stuck his head out from under the table.

“Well?” Lily asked, pale face even paler.

James stuck his thumbs up, “No more giant flying man-eating bats about.”

Lily huffed and scrambled out. Sirius and the rest of Gryffindor followed. There were gasps of shock and horror as people came face to face with the devastation the Marauders had wrought.

The Halloween feast was completely destroyed and the Great Hall looked worse than James's bed in the morning. It was a mess.

“Mr Black, Mr Potter!”

Next to him, James groaned as McGonagall came whirling over to them like a hurricane, nostrils flared.

“Er, Minnie my love,” Sirius began but she shut him up with one dark glare. He swallowed: the charm offensive was definitely not going to work here.

“The two of you have ruined Halloween,” she said, furious, “All that hard work the house-elves put into this feast, ruined! Not to mention the great distress you have put your classmates through.”

James shuffled, looking distinctly sheepish, “We're sorry professor. It all sort of got away from us, y'know?”

“I'll say,” McGonagall said shortly, “My office. Now.”

The two hurried after her out of the wrecked Great Hall. Sirius looked over to James and the two had to quickly look away, biting back laughs. It _was_ sort of hilarious after all.

Detention till the end of term, though, that wasn't so hilarious, and James's horror was intensified when they got back to Gryffindor tower to see a simple note attached to the noticeboard.

“Quidditch try outs!” He cried, “But I'll miss them for detention!” He turned on Sirius, glowering, “This is your fault.”

“Hardly,” Sirius retorted, “You went along with it.”

“Not the part where you engorgio'd the stupid things!”

“Enough,” Remus said firmly, appearing from behind them and leaning across, “Look, your detentions are every Friday and Saturday, right?”

“Yeah...”

“Your point?”

Remus sighed and tapped the note firmly, “Well Quidditch try-outs are Saturday _and_ Sunday too. Just try-out on Sunday.”

“But that's only for keeper,” James huffed, “That's the worst position. I want to be a chaser, or maybe a beater.” He mimed hitting something with a bat. Sirius snorted but Remus just sighed, again.

“If you explain the situation I'm sure the captain will understand.”

“Or not,” Sirius said, unable to control himself, “I hear Sunak really hates bats too.”

James pulled him into a headlock and soon they were tussling in front of the noticeboard. Eventually James pulled away with a sigh but he didn't look as grumpy as before.

“Well, I guess I'll try-out on Sunday then,” he said, “But if I end up as keeper I'm holding you solely responsible.”

“What if you don't make the team at all?” Remus asked and Sirius rolled his eyes. James was flabbergasted.

“Not make the team? Me?” He huffed, “You haven't seen me fly, have you?”

“No.”

“Well just wait and see.”

Sirius snorted. James sounded like a right arrogant tosser right now. “I might try-out too then.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said with a shrug, “Why not?”

“Wouldn't it be amazing if we both make the team?” James said, bubbling with excitement now. He ruffled his hair and Sirius and Remus exchanged a look before bursting into laughter.

James and Quidditch: now _this_ was going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and especially so because this fic has been on a long break. I have one word for you guys: quidditch.
> 
> <3 <3 <3


	19. Early November 1972: PETER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter, even the bad bits and especially the good bits.
> 
> CW: the c-word is used by Sirius.

**Early November 1972**

_PETER._

It was very lucky, Peter decided, that he and Remus had escaped punishment for the atrocious Halloween debacle. They had, after all, helped James and Sirius smuggle the bats from the abandoned classroom to the Great Hall.

Those two had their first detentions this weekend, but before that was Sirius's birthday: his thirteenth. He was the first of them to become a teenager and Peter just knew it was going to make him about a million times worse to deal with.

Still, deal with him they must.

After waking him up with the obligatory spraying of water, the other three offered up their gifts, mainly of food, though Remus had got him a rather fancy quill. Then they headed down for breakfast.

Nearly everyone they passed wished Sirius happy birthday, and Peter wondered if they all would have known were it not for the giant badge strapped across his chest courtesy of James, or if they just knew because it was charming Sirius Black. Peter was certain that even if his own birthday didn't fall in the middle of the summer holidays, he wouldn't get so many well-wishes walking down the corridor with a massive badge. Still, that was just down to Sirius's charm, right?

The four of them settled down at the Gryffindor table and soon Andy came bounding over to wish Sirius a happy birthday, a flustered looking Ted Tonks in tow.

“You're no longer a little kid, Sirius,” Andy said, ruffling his head. Sirius ducked away but she sat down and pulled him into a tight hug. Peter exchanged an amused look with Remus but James was too busy trying to look cool for Andy to laugh at Sirius's discomfort.

“Alright, alright,” Sirius cried, finally managing to shove his older cousin off, “I get it, I get it.”

She pulled away, laughing, but then her face fell as she looked at something in the near distance. Peter turned with the others to see the two other Blacks coming over. Andy huffed as her sister came up.

“Oh please, Andy,” Narcissa said, “He's not just your cousin.”

“Yeah, he's my brother,” Regulus said from beside her but Sirius just scowled.

“Could've fooled me.”

“Oh stop, Sirius,” Narcissa said, “He's only eleven. What could he do to stop your mother?”

“More than a fat load of nothing,” Sirius snapped, eyes flashing dangerously. Oh dear, Peter thought: he recognised that look on Sirius's face. This was the time to look away and try not to annoy him further. Clearly Regulus hadn't got the memo though.

“Look, I just came to wish you a happy birthday.” He said, arms folded, “And don't pretend you're annoyed about me keeping my head with our parents. It's because I insulted your friend. Well I'm sorry,” he looked very upset now, “I didn't know you cared more for them than me!”

“Push off,” Sirius said shortly, “You insulted him with your bigoted opinions and I won't have that Reggie. I just won't!” He got to his feet, towering over his younger brother but only just. Really, Peter thought vaguely, Sirius was almost as short as he himself was.

“Look, happy birthday Sirius,” Narcissa said, and forced a pair of handmade cards into his hand, “Have a good day. We'll keep out of your way if you want.”

“Yeah, that'd be the best present you could give,” Sirius muttered, gaze still firmly on Regulus.

“I don't know what I've done to deserve this grump from you,” Narcissa added with a huff and Andy laughed.

“Sure, whatever, Little Miss Pure-Blood Wifey.” She folded her arms but Peter noticed both sister's looked desperately in pain for a short moment before both of them rearranged their faces into something much colder and more unreadable.

Narcissa glanced at Tonks who was hovering awkwardly at Andy's side, “You shouldn't lead him on,” she said, “Seeing as it can't go anywhere anyway.”

Andy pulled herself up to her full height, fists clenched at her side.

“Dromeda,” Ted said softly, “Leave it.” But Andy wasn't listening.

“You don't know a damn thing about me and Ted,” she hissed at her sister. “Because you've never bothered to even ask!”

“Yes,” Narcissa replied, voice calm and cold and utterly terrible, “Because he's a filthy mudblood.”

Sirius let out a roar of anger and Andy had her wand out in a flash, “Take that back.”

“Woah, woah,” Tonks said, taking her gently by the arm, “Don't make me take points Dromeda.” He turned to Narcissa, and Peter was surprised to see a hard expression on the usually relaxed head boy's face, “And that's detention for you Narcissa.”

The blonde huffed, “Whatever,” And then she turned on her heel and stalked off. Regulus gave Sirius one last glower before hurrying after her.

“That bitch,” Andy hissed, “What a total cow!” But despite her harsh tone, Peter noticed that she had begun to cry. Ted pulled her into his shoulder, stroking her hair.

“Hey, it's alright,” he said softly, “Dromeda, it's ok.”

“But it's not!”

“Cissy's a right cunt,” Sirius bit out and Peter gasped at the language. Sirius gave him a disparaging look before turning back to his cousin, “Neither of them are worth our time, Andy. Just forget about it.”

“She's my bloody sister,” Andy cried, pulling away from Ted to reveal red eyes, “I can't just _forget_ her.”

Sirius shrugged, “Regulus is my brother. I can forget him easy enough.”

“Sirius, you don't mean that!” Remus said, shocked. Sirius frowned.

“I do.”

“Well I don't think either of them are worth your time, Andy. You're worth so much better.” James said hurriedly and she gave him a small smile.

“Thanks Potter.”

“Come on,” Ted said to her, “Let's get you something to eat.”

“Happy birthday Sirius,” Andy said again, and gave him a weak smile. Sirius pulled her into a hug.

“Thanks,” he said and she patted him on the cheek, “Don't let the pure-blood bigots get you down.”

She snorted. Then she and Ted turned and walked slowly away.

Sirius sat back down with a sigh. “Well, happy birthday to me I guess.”

James punched him affectionately on the shoulder, “We're gonna have a great day today, just wait and see, Sirius.”

Sirius smiled but Remus was frowning, “You're not going to get into more trouble I hope,” he said firmly, “Halloween was _bad_ , remember?”

“We don't care,” James said confidently, “Rules are for other people.”

“They might stop you from trying out for Quidditch.”

“Maybe we shouldn't break too many rules,” James amended.

“You can do what you want,” Sirius said, staring heatedly back at the Slytherin table where Narcissa and Regulus were now talking to Snape, “But nothing's gonna stop me today.”

Remus sighed but Peter couldn't help but feel a little excited. He doubted today would be dull.

***

Peter was rarely right and this was definitely the first time he was right and regretted it. Today had certainly _not_ been dull.

McGonagall's severe face was becoming a normal sight. Peter was pretty sure that soon he would be able to write a book on the subtleties of Minerva McGonagall's angry expressions.

The four of them were sat in her office, as per, all of them looking sheepish. Well, all of them bar Sirius, who looked defiant, as per.

“He was being a prat,” he said, arms folded, “He deserved it.”

McGonagall's nostrils flared.

“Professor,” Remus piped up suddenly and her gaze flittered over to him, “I'd just like to distance myself from any and all comments Sirius might make today.”

Sirius scowled at him but then James cleared his throat.

“Um yeah, me too.”

“And me,” Peter added.

“Traitors,” Sirius huffed before turning back to McGonagall, “Snape was talking about me, saying nasty things. Then he called Pete and Remus half-bloods and was just being a total prat. I'm not sorry.” He glared at her.

McGonagall, who had looked slightly mollified and maybe even a little amused by the other three's distancing comments, turned back to Sirius, eyes hard.

“That may be so, Mr Black,” she said, voice like ice, “But it is no excuse to do what you did to Mr Snape.”

“He deserved it!” Sirius shouted, getting to his feet. McGonagall stood up too, hands pressed firmly down on the desk as she loomed over him.

“You switched his arms and legs over,” she growled, “That is unacceptable behaviour, Mr Black.”

“Well it was bloody hilarious!”

“You are already in enough trouble as it is,” McGonagall bit out, “What with what you and Mr Potter did at Halloween. Don't push me, Sirius.”

Her voice had become low and soft, alluringly dangerous and Sirius swallowed nervously, slowly sitting back down. He nodded, jerkily.

“I want you to write Mr Snape a long apology letter,” she said swiftly, “Madam Pomfrey is optimistic that he'll be back to normal by Monday. I want the apology letter on my desk by then. Do I make myself clear?”

Sirius's jaw tensed but at a pointed look from James, he nodded jerkily.

“Yes professor.”

“Good,” she said, “Then that'll just be twenty points from Gryffindor and an extra detention for you, Mr Black, on Sunday morning.”

“But that's Quidditch try-outs,” James said. His voice trailed off quickly at the look McGonagall gave him.

“You're more than welcome to join your friend on Sunday, Mr Potter.”

James hastily shook his head, “No, professor, no thank you.”

“Good,” McGonagall said and sat back down, waving her hand at the four of them impatiently, “Then you can go.”

This they did, exiting her office and making their way a good distance along the corridor before Sirius broke the silence.

“Thanks for all the support by the way,” he said, “Great to know that my friends have my back when needed.”

“Oh come off it, Sirius,” James said, “Jinxing Snape was hardly worth me not being able to try-out.”

“Ugh,” Sirius groaned, “That's all you care about now, isn't it? It's all Quidditch this, and broomsticks that.”

Peter snorted and James turned on him, furious, “Something funny, Pete?”

“It was just a good impression,” Peter replied with a shrug.

“And how's this for an impression?” Sirius asked him, voice nasty, “Oh, I'm Peter Pettigrew and I love Marcy MacDonald but she doesn't care about me because I'm a spineless cowardly little rodent!” He spat out the last words, full of venom.

Peter stared at him, wide-eyed and deeply hurt.

“You prat, Black,” Remus hissed, “Just ignore him, Pete. He's in a foul mood.”

“And you'd know all about foul moods, wouldn't you Remus?” Sirius bit out, glancing outside, “Just because we're nowhere near the full now, doesn't mean you won't be in a foul temper when it does come round.”

Remus stopped walked abruptly, forcing the other three to stop as well. He stared at Sirius who was only half making eye contact with him now. Remus was breathing heavily, lip curling as he glowered at Sirius.

“Fuck you,” he said eventually, then turned on his heel and strode away, back up the corridor. Peter hesitated, glanced at Sirius and James for a moment longer, then hurried after him.

Usually he would've stayed with Sirius and James, but Sirius was in such a nasty mood and Peter didn't think he could deal with him right now, especially after what he'd said to Peter about Mary. Stupid tosser. He hurried to catch up with Remus, rubbing hastily at his eyes.

From behind him he heard James sigh and turn on Sirius.

“You _utter_ prat, Sirius.”

“I... I didn't mean...” Sirius's voice tailed off into silence as the two of them passed beyond Peter's hearing.

The thing was, Peter thought sadly, was that it wasn't the way Sirius had been cruel to Peter that had everyone upset: it was his treatment of Remus. And of course that was terrible but just for once, just once, Peter thought bitterly, he'd like them to choose solely him over Sirius. Just once.

“Sirius is a right tosser,” Remus bit out as Peter caught up with him, “Why does he have to be like that?! It's not fair.”

Peter was shocked to see Remus was crying slightly. He reached out but Remus shook him off, coming to an abrupt halt by a pair of large bay windows.

“I'm just trying to help,” Peter cried, annoyed and angry and hurting. Remus glanced over to him and sighed.

“I know Pete,” he said, “I know. I'm sorry, it's just -” He let out a sound akin to a growl, “Bloody _Sirius Black_!”

“I don't know if I'm going to forgive him this time,” Peter said, but a solid part of him knew that that just wasn't true. He loved being in Sirius's reflected limelight way too much to not forgive him.

“Yeah, I don't know if I can either,” Remus said sadly. “I guess we just need some time away from him, hey?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah.”

***

“Oh come on guys,” James whined from across the library desk the next day, “Won't you just forgive him already? He feels really bad about it.”

“Well he can come and tell us that himself,” Remus said primly but Peter bit his lip. He found it hard to refuse James anything, especially when he was begging so nicely.

“But I have my Quidditch try-outs tomorrow morning,” James said, “And Sirius won't be there so I need you two there.”

“We'll be there,” Peter said quickly, “Our argument's not with you James, just Sirius.” He'd hate for James to think he was upset with him. Being in a fight with Sirius was one thing, but a fight with James? No, never: Pete could never do that, not _ever_.

James beamed at him and Peter felt his heart swell. Then James looked over to Remus who was staring determinedly down at his textbook. “Moony?” James asked, voice soft.

Remus sighed then nodded, “Fine. I'll come watch you try-out, but only because Sirius won't be there.”

James let out a relieved sigh, “Brilliant.”

“We're still mad at Sirius though, James,” Remus added hastily, “Don't forget that.”

“No, no, of course,” James said with a nonchalant wave of his hand, “I get it. I get it. He was a prat.”

“Where is he now?” Peter asked, looking about.

“Sulking in the dorm,” James said, “We only just got back from detention with Slughorn: cleaning out cauldrons. And he's got McGonagall's detention tomorrow morning for what he did to Snape so, he's grumpy.”

“Sirius – grumpy? Never!” Remus said sarcastically and Peter chuckled. James sighed.

“I wish you'd hurry up and forgive him though guys. He's having a hard time with his family and it _was_ his birthday and everything.”

Remus's eyes flashed dangerously. “Don't make excuses for him James. You heard what he said about me and full moons.”

“Yeah and what he said about me and Mary,” Peter added, folding his arms defiantly.

“I know, I know,” James said with a sigh, “I know guys.”

“And he insulted you too,” Remus added, “Mocking you for your love of Quidditch.”

“Yeah, well,” James waved his hand, “That's not _not_ true, is it? I do go on about it a lot.”

Remus snorted but Peter shook his head, “It's not true, James,” he said quickly, “You hardly ever mention it and considering how good you are, you'd think you'd mention it more.”

“You think, Pete?” James asked, and Peter nodded.

“'Course.”

Remus snorted and the two turned to look at him. He hastily picked up his textbook to hide behind it. Peter frowned: he was just telling James how amazing he was at Quidditch. That wasn't a bad thing, was it? Friends were supposed to big each other up, right? That's always what he'd done with James anyway.

“Thanks Pete,” James said with a smile, “I _am_ a bit nervous about tomorrow after all.”

“You'll be fine,” Peter said firmly, “Sunak would be an idiot not to snap you up and you know it.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” James said, leaning back in his chair with a wide grin. “This time tomorrow I'll be on the team.”

Remus sighed from behind his textbook but made no comment.

***

“Chaser try-outs were yesterday, Potter,” Lucas Sunak said. He was a tall black seventh year, strongly built and with a pointed nose.

“Yeah, but I had detention yesterday,” James replied, earnestly.

They were on the Quidditch pitch on Sunday morning, Peter and Remus hanging back slightly to watch as James attempted to persuade the Gryffindor team captain to let him try out for chaser despite those try-outs being scheduled for yesterday. Unfortunately for James he didn't have Sirius's magic charm and so was struggling.

“Yeah and I remember why you had detention,” Sunak said coldly, “My boyfriend is terrified of bats so thanks for that. He was in shock for the entire night.”

Ah,” James said.

Ah indeed.

“Hello,” came a beautifully familiar voice and Peter turned around to see Mary MacDonald walking over, dressed in spare quidditch robes and holding a battered school broomstick, “I've come to try out for keeper.”

“Brilliant,” Sunak said with a smile, “They're lining up over there.” He gestured to the other end of the field where a small line of nervous students stood huddled together. Mary nodded, gave Peter a small smile then hurried over to join them.

“I didn't know Mary was trying out,” Peter said, surprised, and there was a less than beautiful snort from behind him. He turned round to see Lily Evans standing there, wry smirk on her face, “Something funny Evans?”

“Why would Mary tell you her plans?”

Peter huffed.

“Isn't Mary muggle-born like you?” James asked, scratching the top of his head. Lily glowered.

“And what has that got to do with anything?”

“Nothing, nothing,” James said quickly as Remus and Peter both stifled snorts, “Nothing at all.”

“She used to play football when she was younger,” Lily said, “She was a brilliant goalie – so there.”

And with a huff, Lily strode away, heading over to the stands where a few other supporters were sitting already.

“What's a goalie?” James asked Remus but before the other boy could explain, Sunak was striding away, calling over his shoulder to James.

“You can try-out for keeper or for nothing at all, Potter.”

James sprung into action, clenching his broom firmly to his side as he hurried after Sunak to the other end of the pitch.

“Come on,” Remus said to Peter, and the two of them headed over to the stands, making sure to sit a good distance away from Evans out of respect for James. Remus still gave her a small wave though. Peter huffed: traitor.

Sunak's clear voice carried across the pitch to the stands, “Alright people,” he said, “Our first match is coming up. We had trouble with two of our players so try-outs were hastily called. It's good you're all here. Quidditch is a great opportunity.”

“What happened to the other players?” Mary asked and Sunak sighed.

“Ludwick and Grain were bullying our new seeker last year. It got really bad about two weeks ago,” he said with a sigh, “So I booted them off. That sort of behaviour just isn't acceptable, but you can imagine this puts us in a tricky position now. So, whoever gets picked is going to need to work hard. Alright?”

There were lots of nods and affirmations from the huddled students. Peter leant forward to watch Mary as Sunak set them off flying.

“Wow,” Remus said and Peter had to agree: the girl could fly.

Her and James were streaming out far ahead of the others, zooming and racing each other round the pitch.

“She's amazing,” Peter breathed in awe, and ignored Remus's snigger from beside him. Lily turned round from lower down in the stands and gave them a smug look. Peter stuck his tongue out at her and she glowered before turning her attention back to the pitch.

“Alright,” Sunak called from atop his broom, “So now let's take turns as keeper. You,” He pointed to Mary, “What's your name?”

“Er... Mary, Mary MacDonald.”

“You fly well,” Sunak said and Peter noticed James scowling, clearly jealous of the praise not aimed at him. “You try first. Over to the hoops.” Then he turned to Potter, “Alright Potter.” he chucked him the quaffle, “Try and get a goal in.”

Both James and Mary were frowning intensely as they took their positions. Peter exchanged a look with Remus: this was going to be interesting.

“Go on Mary!” Lily shouted from below them and Peter huffed but he didn't call out for James. He couldn't do that to Mary. Remus didn't seem to have the same qualms though.

“Potter for the win!” He cried and Lily turned around to glower. Remus shrugged and shouted again, “Come on, James. For the sake of your ego!”

Lily laughed at that and James turned on his broom, throwing a rude hand gesture at Remus.

“Oi, none of that Potter,” Sunak shouted and James looked a bit sheepish as he flew towards Mary, quaffle in hand.

He zig-zagged but Mary was quite still, watching him intently. He raised his arm, feinted beautifully to the right and threw the quaffle hard at the left hoop. There was no way Mary could save that, Peter realised, unsure how he felt about it.

But then – bam – she was there, in front of the hoop, quaffle soundly caught in her right hand. She laughed and Sunak clapped.

“Well saved, MacDonald,” he cried, then turned to the waiting students.

“Smith, you next.”

A wiry white boy came zooming up, taking over from Mary by the hoops.

“Try again, Potter,” Sunak said with a wry smirk. James huffed and caught the quaffle that was passed to him.

“Why's he making James take all the shots?” Peter asked Remus, “I thought he said he was only trying out keepers today.”

“Well, maybe he's changed his mind after seeing James fly,” Remus suggested, “He is very good after all.”

“Mary's good too,” Peter said, “I didn't think she would be, considering she's muggle-born. Not that there's anything wrong with that,” he added hastily at Remus's look, “Just that, y-know, she only learnt to fly a broomstick last year and all.”

“Well, she made a bloody good save just then,” Remus said thoughtfully, “All that football must've paid off.”

“Football's only with one ball, isn't it?” Peter asked. Remus nodded and Peter shook his head, “Muggles are weird.”

“Just because you don't understand them,” Lily called up from below them, “Doesn't mean they're weird.”

“Oi, don't eavesdrop on our conversation,” Peter retorted, very cross, and worried she might have heard his muggle-born comment about Mary. He really hoped she hadn't: he didn't want another reason for the girl of his dreams to hate him. It just wasn't fair.

Eventually the try-outs came to an end. Sunak made Mary play keeper a fair few more times, and James continued in the role of chaser till the very end, eventually managing to even get one or two goals in against Mary. Mary who was bloody incredibly, darting about the hoops like a dragonfly over water, bobbing and weaving and only letting in the two goals from James.

As the fliers all landed back on the ground, the watchers in the stands came over.

“So Mary MacDonald,” Sunak said, beaming down at her, “You'll be our new keeper.”

“Really?” She was practically vibrating with excitement and Peter wanted to hug her more than anything, but he couldn't. So he didn't. Lily did though, embracing her friend tightly, both girls laughing.

“Well done, MacDonald,” Sunak said, “You're talented. Did you play much when you were younger?”

“Er... not Quidditch,” she said slowly, “I'm muggle-born.”

Sunak's eyebrows went right up, “Bloody hell. So you only learnt to fly last year then?”

Mary nodded, biting her lip gently. “But I was a good goalie for our local girl's football team.”

“Well,” Sunak said, hands on hips, clearly impressed, “Good for you.”

“What about me?” James asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Sunak's face was unreadable. “I haven't chosen a chaser yet. I'll let you know Potter.”

James's face fell but before he could reply, Sunak was striding off, back towards the changing rooms. James turned to Peter, horrified.

“But what if he doesn't pick me?” He asked, appalled. Peter clasped him on the back.

“He will, James, of course he will.”

“I mean, none of us saw the other chaser try-outs yesterday,” Remus said slowly, “There could've been someone really good.”

James scowled at him. “Better than me? I didn't miss _any_ and it was only Mary who managed to stop my goals.”

“Mary was amazing.”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed with Peter, nodding fervently, “She was incredible.”

James's glower darkened and he stalked off, striding angrily towards the changing rooms.

“Potter jealous?” Lily asked, coming over as Mary too headed over to the changing rooms. Peter scowled at her.

“Push off Evans,” he grumbled but Remus shoved him.

“Ignore Pete,” he said, “Mary flew brilliantly. She looked pleased too.”

“Yeah, she almost didn't try-out though,” Lily said, “She was so nervous people might not take her seriously cos she's muggle-born.” At this she gave Peter a very pointed look. Damn, he thought: so she had heard his muggle-born comment. That was just bloody brilliant then, wasn't it?

“Well, as a Gryffindor who wants us to win the cup,” Remus replied, “I'm bloody glad she did. She's incredible. Hufflepuff chasers don't stand a chance.”

“Yeah,” Lily said and smiled. She considered the two of them for a moment, head cocked to one side, “I hear you lot had an argument with Black. That true?”

Remus's easy manner hardened, jaw tensing, “No offence Lily,” he said firmly, “But that's not really any of your business.”

“Ok, ok,” she said, holding up her hands in defence, “I wasn't going to be a prat. I just think it's sad. You lot are so tight, seems a shame to lose that.”

“Really?” Peter asked, incredulous at Evans's response, “Like you care about us.”

Lily glowered at him, “I give a damn about Remus, Pettigrew, not you. And he cares about the three of you for some insane reason, so it's important to me. That ok with you?” Her green eyes were flashing darkly as she scowled at him and Peter decided to back off. An enraged Lily Evans was a terrifying thing.

“Alright,” he muttered and walked away.

Well, maybe it was time to make amends with Sirius, he considered: if even Lily Evans was concerned then that really said something. Still, Remus was very upset about the full moon comment, so he might need some more time.

But Peter could forgive Sirius without Remus's blessing. After all, Sirius was worth more to him than Remus, not that he'd ever say _that_ out loud. Yes, Peter decided, as he made his way up to school on his own, he'd go and forgive Sirius right now. Maybe the other boy would be so grateful he'd even say something nice to Peter. That'd be good.

If Remus wanted to sulk on his own then that was his choice. Peter liked getting on with people, needed it even; and just because Remus didn't need it, he couldn't stop Peter from getting back in Sirius Black's good books.

Peter liked how it made him feel – being on Sirius's good side – much more than being on his bad side anyway. Much _much_ more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I swear when I first wrote this chapter I had no intention of it becoming so angsty but Sirius Black sometimes just does things, says things, that I have no intention of writing but he's just so bloody uncontrollable. Sometimes it's just easier to let him do his thing and clean up the mess afterwards. So if you want someone to blame for the angst in this chapter (and over the next couple of chapters too) then blame Sirius. And yes, this is me, as the writer, saying that I, as the writer, have no control over my writing, which I have written. Hem. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading xx


	20. November 1972: LILY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tries to act normal like I didn't totally forget to update last week* 
> 
> CW: discussion of racism and mention of racial profiling by London police

**November 1972**

_LILY._

Mary and Lily were both in agreement: Benjy Fenwick, star chaser on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, was the best looking boy in the entire school. He was in the year above them, Asian-British with sharp cheekbones, a pale face, and kind eyes.

Lily was very excited to watch her friend play against him. She was adamant that this was how all good romances started: a playful sports rivalry that blossomed into something more. Mary had laughed at that and asked her whether she didn't want Benjy for herself then.

But Lily was crushing on quite a different person. Not that Dorcas Meadowes had eyes for anyone outside of Sirius bloody Black.

It was quite hopeless really, Lily thought with a sigh. Black was oblivious to Dorcas's longing looks and Dorcas herself was oblivious to Lily's longing looks. It was strange: she'd never thought of herself as gay or anything, but here she was, crushing on a girl – and a good friend at that too.

Lily hadn't even told Mary this, and she usually told Mary everything. No, this was something Lily was going to figure out all on her own.

The two friends walked down to the Quidditch pitch, Mary quivering with nerves beside her.

“You're going to be brilliant,” Lily told her friend firmly, “You're bloody amazing.”

“I know, I know,” Mary said, hopping nervously from foot to foot, “But I let in some of James's throws in our last practice and he kept bloody smirking too.”

Lily sighed: the second Sunak had told Potter that he'd made the team, he'd become awful. Of course, Sunak had held him on edge for so long to try and avoid the sudden big-headedness James was swallowed up in, but that had failed. Potter had become unbearable. Even Remus was willing to admit as much, and Lily knew how much of a blind spot Remus had for both Potter and Black, and Pettigrew too she supposed.

Remus had given her some books from his mother, about race and black history in the UK, and Lily had ploughed through them all, awed and horrified at the fact that so much had not been taught to her. Stuff that her dad, a history teacher at the local grammar school, didn't even know about. It was crazy.

She and Mary hadn't talked about it but her friend had seen Lily reading some of the books and Lily swore she'd seen her smile. So. Things were better, or at least, were getting better. She certainly didn't look down on Potter for being brown-skinned now, or at least, she didn't think she did. It was a bit of a mind-twist, trying to look at all the things she had to unlearn and trying to challenge them, but Lily was determined.

And it wasn't just for Mary, or Remus – so he would look at her like he had when they were first friends – no. This was for Lily herself. She needed to know the world she had grown up in, the muggle world; she needed to understand it, for her own good. How could she wrap her head around the magical world if she didn't even understand muggles, her own people, her own heritage, dire and terrible as it undoubtedly was – _is_ , even?!

“Look,” Lily said to Mary as they arrived at the Quidditch pitch, “Just let Potter get on with his job and you focus on yours. You're a bloody good keeper.”

Mary smiled, “Thanks, Lils. I know.”

“And have fun out there!” Lily added as Mary disappeared into the changing room. She herself turned and headed up into the stands, quickly finding Marlene and Dorcas and sitting herself down with them.

Dorcas greeted her happily and Lily blushed, feeling the heat rise to her face at the sight of the pretty girl's smile.

“Reckon we'll win?” Marlene asked, excited. Lily nodded.

“Definitely.”

The other girls beamed though Marlene's grin quickly turned thoughtful, “Though there's a lot of pressure on MacDonald and Potter, y'know. Cos they're _both_ second years. Apparently there were some raised eyebrows when Sunak added two new students who are so young, but you've seen them both play, Lils. They any good?”

“Yeah,” Lily said, nodding fervently, “Mary's amazing, and Potter's alright too, I guess.”

“He better be,” Dorcas said with a snort, “Else he'll look like a right tosser after the way he's been behaving these past two weeks.”

Lily chuckled in agreement then the three girls turned as Frank Longbottom's voice started echoing round the stands.

“Welcome, welcome all,” he cried, “To the Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff quidditch match!” There were cheers. “Now,” he said, “This is the first match of the season for both teams. Hufflepuff has new player Jones on their team whilst Gryffindor has two very recent additions: Mary MacDonald as keeper and James Potter as chaser. Both only joined the team barely two weeks ago after Ludwick and Grain were kicked off for being total arseholes.”

“Longbottom!” McGonagall cried, warning in her voice.

“It's just the truth, professor,” Longbottom said and there were cries and jeers from the crowd, “If you can't handle the truth, professor, well that's on - ” He broke off, no doubt seeing McGonagall's ferocious expression, “Anyway, back to the line up.”

Frank Longbottom, Lily recalled, had come a close second in her and Mary's discussion of attractive boys. He was a fifth year prefect, dating Alice Huang, the third Gryffindor chaser along with Potter and Sunak, and had a very nice face. (“And butt too,” Marlene had added, cackling as she zoomed past them on her wheelchair, leaving Mary and Lily both blushing furiously in her wake.)

“And they're off!” Frank's voice echoed across the pitch as the fourteen players shot into the air. Lily focused on Mary as she whizzed over to the Gryffindor hoops, circling them intently.

Here we go, Lily thought and crossed her fingers: there was a lot of pressure on Mary, and Potter too, so please _please_ let them win.

***

An hour later and the Gryffindor team were sinking down to the ground in a huddled victorious mass. Lily's throat hurt from all the screaming and cheering. She and Dorcas hurried after Marlene as the three of them zoomed down onto the pitch, heading straight for Mary. Mary, who was now being hoisted up onto the Prewett twins shoulders with Potter.

The two of them were the stars of the match. Sunak was sobbing – apparently he'd been more stressed about this match than anyone had realised – and was quickly pulled by his boyfriend into a tight embrace.

But Lily only had eyes for Mary. Mary, who when she saw her friends, tapped Gideon Prewett to let her down, and then she was charging over to them and the four of them were hugging her tightly.

“I did it!” Potter was screaming as Black pulled him into a tight hug a short distance away, “I bloody did it!”

Gryffindor had absolutely slaughtered Hufflepuff: the badgers hadn't managed to get any goals in, not one, with Mary being a total badass by the hoops. And when Gryffindor seeker, Bee Kabul, had caught the snitch the final score was 250-0. It was incredible. It was beyond anything.

Lily was so bloody in awe of her friend, and Potter, annoyingly enough, had actually been pretty spectacular too, scoring about half the Gryffindor goals himself. It was incredible: the team was unstoppable.

“Best team ever,” Lucas Sunak sobbed, “Best line up. Best team ever. There's no way we don't get the cup. No way.”

“Party in Gryffindor common room,” Fabian Prewett shouted and there were more cheers.

As Lily was meandering her way back up to the castle, her arms tightly wound around Mary's and Dorcas's waists there came a shout from behind them.

She turned. It was Sev, hurrying up the hill from the pitch and looking slightly out of breath.

“Lily,” he called and she stepped away from her friends.

“I'll catch you guys up,” she said and Mary raised her eyebrows.

“Ok then. Don't be long.” The two other girls walked off, soon catching up with Marlene who was chatting with the two burly Prewett twins further ahead.

Lily hung back, waiting for Severus to reach her. She gave him a weak smile. Though she was still hurt by what he had done (or, more accurately, failed to do) last year, Lily's own mistakes with Mary had given her a little more understanding for him.

“Good match,” he said, still breathing heavily from the hill, “Gryffindor really flattened Hufflepuff.”

“Yeah, we did.”

Sev nodded up the hill to where Mary and the others were now disappearing into the castle, “MacDonald was incredible.”

Lily smiled and took Severus by the arm, turning to walk with him, “Yeah she was.”

Sev beamed at her, “I didn't know a muggle-born could fly so well.”

Lily sighed. It had been going so well. “What has that got to do with anything?”

“Oh I'm not being like that,” Sev said quickly, “Just – she won't have flown a broom till Hogwarts. I'm complimenting her. It's a nice thing.”

“Fine,” Lily huffed. Severus's surprise wasn't isolated: it was a similar sentiment Potter had said, and Pettigrew too. Even Dorcas, who Lily was besotted with right now, had said something similar, though maybe less, well, blatant.

“I heard the two of you had a bit of a falling out,” Severus went on after a long moment of silence. They had almost reached the castle doors by now. Lily stopped, letting go of Sev's arm as she did. She scrutinised him.

“I don't see how that's any of your business,” she said, folding her arms. Severus shuffled and rubbed his arm awkwardly.

“Well, I know about muggle racism,” he said slowly, “It's so backwards and terrible and everything, but Lily. It's not your fault. You're only a kid and it's what you've been taught...” He trailed off at the look in her eyes.

“Stop it,” she hissed, “I don't want you making excuses for me, Sev. Not you, of all people.”

“And what's _that_ supposed to mean,” Severus retorted, eyes wide. “I was only saying that with a sister like _that_ and your parents and everything...”

“STOP IT!” Lily bellowed then took a deep breath, placing her hand to the bridge of her nose. “Please.”

“I'm on your side,” Severus insisted and Lily turned away, heading through the doors and into the Entrance Hall.

“Look, just leave it, Sev,” she said sharply, “I think if we don't talk about muggle racism or weird wizard pure-blood mania, then we'll be good. Ok?”

“So you were thinking we might not be good,” Severus said in a small voice. Lily turned back around to stare at him.

“Yeah, I was.”

Severus took a step back, eyes widening, “But we hung out over the summer and everything was fine then, wasn't it?”

Lily shrugged, “I guess. But we didn't talk about any of that stuff so...” She bit her lip then looked at him, eyebrows raised. He nodded.

“Ok.”

“Ok what?”

“We won't talk about any of that stuff,” he said firmly, “I want us to be good, Lily. You're my best friend.”

Lily blinked but didn't know what to say. There was probably a time, before the Mulciber incident in the library last year, when she would have said the same about him: that he was her best friend too. But now? Now things were different. She was different. And he was just the same. He was still the sort of person who she didn't want to talk to about important things – like muggle racism and wizard bigotry; because it was just too painful hearing the sort of things he'd say: how unaware he was, and his refusal to try to challenge the way he saw it all, including the way he saw her, as a muggle-born.

“Cool,” she said after a while and started edging her way towards the stairs, “Um, I told Mary I wouldn't be long. This is her moment. I should...” She pointed up towards the stairs and Severus nodded.

“Yeah, 'course.”

“Cool, cool,” Lily said, awkward and uncomfortable, “See you around then.”

“Yeah, see you,” Severus replied with a nervous smile.

Lily turned and hurried away.

***

The Gryffindor party was in full swing when she got there and Lily looked hurriedly around for her friends. And there they were, lolling about in a corner with Potter and Black, Dorcas giggling at something funny the latter boy had said.

Lily huffed. Great. Sirius bloody Black was charming her future wife and he didn't even know it. She took a deep breath. It wouldn't do to go charging over there to start an argument, especially as everyone seemed so happy. She wasn't going to ruin this for Mary, no way.

So instead, Lily headed over to the drinks table to get some butterbeers. There was nothing alcoholic at this party: it was still only just the afternoon after all. Gryffindor had slaughtered Hufflepuff on the pitch pretty quickly. They really were an incredible team, weren't they?

Lily was just gathering together some bottles of butterbeer when someone suddenly loomed up behind her. She turned, saw a brief flash of Lucas Sunak, laughing loudly, then flinched.

She flinched.

Despite all the reading and educating she'd been doing, she still flinched at the sight of the tall black seventh year.

He looked at her and she was horrified to see realisation in his gaze. He wasn't muggle-born though, was he? How did he know? How did he _know?_ She swallowed.

“Sorry,” came out of her mouth and he nodded, slowly, the mirth that had been on his face completely gone now. Lily felt like she might burst into tears. What had she done? Where had that come from? Her, of course – but she'd been reading those books, learning and trying to understand. All that work, but she still flinched at Lucas Sunak.

She felt she ought to say something more, but then again, maybe not. She couldn't undo it, she couldn't fix it. So instead she hurried away, butterbeer bottles clinking in her grasp.

She came over to the corner where her friends were. Pettigrew was also there but Remus was nowhere to be seen. Great, she thought sadly, the one Gryffindor second year boy she actually got on with and he wasn't here.

“Alright Evans?” Potter asked from where he was lounging next to Black on the window seat, “D'you see the match?”

“Yeah,” Lily said, forcing her voice to sound normal. Now was really not the time. “You played well, Potter. Glad to see it wasn't just talk.”

Black snorted, winked at Dorcas, then gestured to the butterbeer in her hands, “Lash them out then Evans.”

Lily looked down at the bottles in her hand, slightly surprised for a second that they were there. Then she handed them round. When she got to Mary, her friend gave her a knowing look.

“I saw you and Sunak at the drinks table.” Mary's voice was low and quiet, for Lily's ears only. Lily shook her head.

“Not for you to worry about,” she said quickly, “I... I'll talk to Remus about it, I...” She trailed off, took a breath, and put on a smile. “You were incredibly Mary.”

Mary smiled, though she was still looking at Lily thoughtfully, “Yeah I was, wasn't I?”

“You were,” Pettigrew said, moving up the sofa to sit closer to her, “You didn't let a single shot in. That must be some sort of record or something.”

Mary's smile widened, “Lucas is very pleased with me and James.”

“Of course he is,” Pettigrew said, “You're incredible.”

Mary snorted, “Thanks Pete. You certainly know how to compliment a girl.” Pettigrew beamed at this and Lily could barely contain her eye roll: she really hoped Mary didn't get back together with him – he was a bit of a suck-up, wasn't he?

“Yeah, Lucas certainly seemed more relieved than I thought he would be,” Potter said, joining in their conversation, “I didn't realise how bloody nervous he was about us two second years till after we'd bloody won them the match.”

“Come on, James,” Black said with a snigger, “Don't be a prat. There are _seven_ people on a Quidditch team after all.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Potter said with a nonchalant wave of his hand. Lily exchanged a look with Marlene who seemed to also find Potter's arrogance a little annoying, but Lily couldn't help but feel a little relieved at the change of topic. Talking about the Gryffindor captain, Lucas Sunak, was making her feel a little uncomfortable after her terrible interaction with him a moment ago.

“So are you guys still fighting with Lupin?” Dorcas asked, gazing up at Black with a sickening look. Sirius shrugged, jaw tensing.

“He's fighting with us.”

“Yeah well,” Potter said, giving his friend a look, “He's got his reasons.” Black looked down, a bit sheepish and Lily frowned: what was going on there then?

“Well I forgave you quick enough,” Pettigrew piped up and Sirius nodded, pointedly avoiding the other boy's gaze. Lily muffled a snort: Pettigrew's forgiveness hardly seemed equal to Remus's for Black.

“Hey Lily,” Mary said suddenly, “Will you come up to the dorm with me? I was going to change but I was hoping you'd take a look over my Potions essay for Slughorn.”

“Sure,” Lily said, grateful for an excuse to get away from Potter and Black, and Dorcas's clear crush on the latter boy.

The two girls headed up to their dorm, but when Mary shut the door behind them, she didn't head over to her trunk to get her homework. Instead she fixed Lily with an intense stare. Lily shuffled: she had a vague idea what this was going to be about.

“Sunak,” Mary said and Lily nodded, eyes closed.

“Yeah.”

“You apologise?”

Lily nodded, “But I... I didn't mean to. It just happened. And then he... he _knew,_ y'know?”

“Yeah.”

“But I thought he was pure-blood, like Potter or Black. How would he know about... about _that_?”

Mary sighed and slumped down on her bed. Lily perched on the end of it, biting her lip and looking to her best friend for some sort of _something._

“I feel so caught in the middle with this,” Mary said after a while, “Sunak sees muggle racism as a pretty good reason to think little of muggles, and muggle-borns like you,” she added. Lily shuffled, uncomfortable, “And I can hardly criticise him, after what he's been through.”

“I really didn't mean anything by it.” Lily said quickly, “Mary, honest, I'm really trying. It just... he made me jump and he's so tall.”

“Yeah, but if he was white and tall and made you jump, would you still have flinched like that?”

Lily sighed and shook her head. She knew she wouldn't.

“That's not what I'm referring to though,” Mary went on, “Like, it must've sucked for him to have that happen, but the thing he told me about was... worse.”

Lily settled herself deeper on Mary's bed, resting her head against the bed post to listen. “I didn't know you've been talking to him?”

“Well, he instigated the conversation,” Mary explained, “When he knew I was muggle-born and I'm black so... yeah. He wanted to get my perspective on it all.”

“But I still don't understand how he knows as he's pure-blood. Wouldn't he be sheltered from the muggle world.”

“He was,” Mary replied, “He was. His mother is one of those intense pure-bloods. Not like the Blacks but still pretty anti-muggle. And Lucas, he would always fight with her over it. And he took Muggle Studies to annoy her, I think.”

There was a long silence. Mary looked tired and Lily bit her lip: she hated how this exhausted her friend. It wasn't fair. Then Mary carried on.

“Well, they do a trip for Muggle Studies NEWT in sixth year,” she paused, frowning, “Yeah, Sunak said it was last year and this his final year at school so it is sixth year.”

Lily waited patiently.

“Well anyway,” Mary continued, “They went on this trip around muggle London. And... basically, he was racially profiled in a fancy store on Oxford Street.”

Lily didn't know what to say. “That must've...” She trailed off but Mary nodded.

“Right? Cos he's been sheltered from it all his whole life and then he's what? Sixteen or seventeen? And he has _that_ happen to him.”

“What happened in the end? Was it all...”

“He said that Professor Harlow had to obliviate the muggle police.”

“The police got involved!?”

“Yeah.”

“That's...” Lily tried to think of a suitable word, “That's fucked.”

Mary nodded, eyes still tired, “Yup.”

“So now he hates muggles?”

“I wouldn't say that,” Mary said quickly, “It's just – he understands where his mother is coming from more. Like, racism is such a messed up, backwards thing, and yet it's so apart of muggle life. And I get where she's coming from: it's insane and backwards and just...” She shuddered.

“That's hard for you,” Lily said softly, “Surely? Like, you're muggle-born but also... racism.”

Mary nodded, “Yup. I guess that's why Sunak wanted to ask me about it all, but like...” She gestured to herself, “I'm twelve years old. And I'm supposed to be representing black muggle-borns everywhere. Like – what? How? I'm just a kid!”

Mary sighed and pressed her hands to the bridge of her nose in a gesture that was so reminiscent of a done McGonagall that it was uncanny. “It's like – all my life I've had to put up with racism and then now that I'm free of it, sort of, there's this new bigotry that uses that same racism to justify why I'm lesser in this world.”

Lily shook her head, “And I just flinched at Sunak which makes it all...”

“Yeah,” Mary said then hastily adds, “But I know you didn't do it on purpose, Lils. Like, you're trying and I appreciate that, I do. But it's still, I dunno – it just really sucks.”

Lily nodded: she was right. It did suck, really suck.

They sat in silence for a long moment more then Mary's expression lit up, going from tired and sad to happy and mischievous in seconds. She raised her eyebrows at Lily. Lily frowned.

“What?”

“You're crushing on Dorcas.”

Lily gasped, “How did you...”

“I saw you glowering at Sirius downstairs whilst Dorcas was fawning all over him. You're not subtle, Lils.”

Lily huffed and chucked a cushion at her head. “And nor are you MacDonald! I saw the looks you were giving poor Benjy Fenwick each time you saved the quaffle. That poor boy, ensnared in your charms.”

Mary blushed and giggled before chucking the cushion back at Lily, “Stop it Evans!”

“And you've got Pettigrew eating out of your hand, as per.”

“Don't with Peter,” Mary said seriously, “That ship has sailed. But we could be friends.”

“Er, does he know that?”

Mary lobbed a sock at her and Lily fell off the bed, laughing hysterically.

“You're insane, Evans,” Mary shouted, chuckling herself, “Better hope Dorcas likes crazy!”

“And why are you hoping I like crazy?”

Mary and Lily stopped laughing and peered round the bed to see both their other dorm-mates by the door. Dorcas's eyebrows were right up. Lily felt herself blush bright red. Oh, she was going to _kill_ Mary!

“Sirius Black is insane,” Mary said quickly and Lily let out a sigh of relief. Good cover, and it had the added benefit of making Dorcas blush.

“No, stop,” Lily's future wife cried, “I wasn't that obvious, was I?”

Marlene snorted, rolling further into the dorm. “Oh no, not at all.”

“Really?”

“No, not really,” Marlene said with a smug grin, “But I wouldn't worry. Sirius Black is such a sensitive soul, I'm sure he'd never use this against you.”

Mary snorted and Dorcas frowned, “But he _is_ sensitive,” she cried, “He's passionate and sensitive and wonderful – like T-Rex.”

“Oh Merlin,” Lily snorted, “I really wish I didn't introduce you to muggle music.”

“Yeah, maybe you should try sharing some _female_ artists with her,” Mary said, the voice of innocence and Lily threw a shoe at her. Mary yelped and dived under her covers, leaving Lily to blush furiously, Dorcas and Marlene staring at her in confusion.

Why everyone thought Mary was the innocent one, Lily would never know. That girl had more mischief in her than the boys now apparently calling themselves the Marauders (what a stupid name, Lily thought) combined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading guys. I fully intend to get into a routine with updates so please bear with. 
> 
> I hc Lily as bisexual (I hc lots of characters as bisexual apparently - can't think why - but we'll get to them later) and there is lots of fun to be had with that, especially as I hc James as Very Straight (sorry Regulus/James shippers - this fic is not for you). I should also add that I do not like Snape so if you are a fan of Snape just be aware that he is not going to come across well in this fic. 
> 
> Um, yeah - trying to recall what "dating" was like as a middle-schooler has brought back some very cringe memories for me so I hope some of that awkwardness comes across. Anyway, that's enough blathering from me. 
> 
> Hopefully there won't be as long a wait for the next chapter as for this one, but your patience is appreciated. Thank you lovely readers xx


	21. November - December 1972: SIRIUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black is chaos personified and I love him.

**November – December 1972**

_SIRIUS._

It had been weeks. Peter had forgiven him quickly enough and James hadn't even stopped talking to him in the first place. But still Remus Lupin was upset with Sirius. _Still._

It had been one harmless, thoughtless, stupid bloody comment and Sirius was really worried that maybe he had really done it this time: he'd really gone and lost Moony for good. It wasn't fair. Sirius hadn't meant to hurt him: where Remus was concerned he only had good intentions after all, but sometimes Sirius just said things, did things, that upset other people. He didn't  _mean_ to!

“Will you stop huffing about Moony for two seconds so we can focus on planning this?” James hissed from his bed. Sirius groaned and rolled over, forcing himself up and over to James's bed.

“Fine.”

They were planning a big prank for the end of term but it was difficult without Remus's genius mind on side. After half an hour of fruitless brainstorming, Sirius groaned.

“Just drop me James and get Remus instead,” he said, “He's better than me at all this.”

“No way,” James said firmly, “I need you, Sirius. You're the only one with the charisma to stop people hating us after we've ruined their evenings, so I _need_ you.”

Sirius huffed but he was secretly pleased: they didn't need Remus. Not when they had his own brilliant charisma. He rolled over and buckled down, trying to force his brain to focus on the details of the prank. It was all in the detail. That was the important part. That was the part Remus was so bloody good at.

“Look, I've got to go,” James said, glancing at the clock on his bedside table. “Quidditch practice. Sunak'll kill me if I'm late again.”

“Sure, sure,” Sirius said, waving his hand, “I'll get Pete to help. Where is he anyway?”

“Er, I think he's studying,” James said as he pulled his flying robes on, “With Moony.”

“Ugh,” Sirius sighed and flung himself out across the bed, “Traitor!”

“Oh come off it, Sirius,” James said, grabbing his broom from under the bed, “You're the one in the wrong here.”

“But it's been so long,” Sirius moaned. James rolled his eyes.

“Well, Peter needs help with Charms more than he needs your approval so -” He shrugged then headed over to the door, “Just try figuring out how we'll trick the ceiling enchantment, ok?”

“Ok,” Sirius said with a sigh. James snorted and disappeared, leaving Sirius all alone in the dorm.

And he really did try to focus like James said, but it was so boring, just lying on the bed trying to think. So he stopped thinking, and started doing instead. He wandered down to the Gryffindor common room.

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon and though it was cold outside, most people were still trying to make the most of the last of the autumn sunshine so the common room was practically empty.

But there was one familiar face, sitting by the window, head buried in their DADA textbook.

“Alright Meadowes,” Sirius said, sliding down into the seat across from her. The girl looked up, saw him and smiled, blushing prettily as she did. Yes, Sirius thought with satisfaction: this was how he was supposed to be treated. None of that cold shouldering and disapproving tuts that Moony was so good at.

And apparently Dorcas had a crush on him too. So that was interesting. He'd never really thought that much about girls or dating. He'd always thought they were too young to be thinking about that sort of thing: and Peter's moping over Mary had always put him right off.

But Sirius was _thirteen_ now. That was practically a grown up. He was the oldest of the Marauders and he supposed he ought to act it. And Dorcas was sweet and really liked him too. So.

“Hi Sirius,” Dorcas said, closing her book firmly, “You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius said and winked at her. She giggled and he felt his chest puff out: yes, this was how he was supposed to be treated. “Been abandoned by all my mates though. Tossers.” Dorcas giggled again and Sirius smiled even wider. “What about you? Where are your lot?”

“Oh, Mary's got Quidditch practice and Lily and Marlene went to watch.”

“And you didn't fancy it?”

Dorcas shook her head, “I hate the cold. And it's bloody freezing out there.”

“Yeah, yeah, I bet it'll snow soon,” Sirius said wisely. Dorcas nodded.

“Yeah, but we've still got the sun so that's something for now.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said and the conversation tailed off into silence. What the hell? Why were they talking about the weather? Who cared about the bloody weather? It got cold like this every year – not a big deal?! So what – it was sunny today – who cared?

“Have you done the defence essay?” Dorcas asked softly and Sirius looked down at the parchment she had beneath her closed book.

“Er... no...” he said, “It's not due for a while yet, is it?”

“Monday,” Dorcas said, “I'm really struggling with Kappas.”

“Kappas?” Sirius asked, surprised, “Nah, Meadowes, Kappas are easy. Here, let me help.”

And he pulled her essay over and started reading through it. He glanced up to see her beaming at him, eyes wide and happy. He smiled. Yeah, Dorcas Meadowes's regard was worth more than Moony's tutting and disapproval. Dorcas actually liked him. She thought he was cool and charming and brilliant. Which he was!

“Thanks Sirius,” she said softly, “You're so nice.”

Yeah, Sirius thought: he _was_ bloody nice. And it was good someone was actually appreciating him finally. He didn't need Remus Lupin. Remus could carry on sulking and moping till the end of days: Sirius had Dorcas Meadowes calling him nice. He didn't need Remus. No way.

***

“Ok Sirius, it's time to accept defeat. We need Remus.”

Sirius looked up at James and glowered. “No we don't.”

“Yes we do.”

“No we don't.”

“We do.”

“Don't.”

“Do.”

“Don't!”

“Stop it both of you!” Peter cried from where he sat by the window. Both James and Sirius turned to him in surprise.

It had been about a week since they started planning for this prank and it was still flawed, and, with the last day of term fast approaching, they were running out of time. But here they were, working away in the dorm on a rainy Friday afternoon.

“Look Sirius,” Peter went on, “James is right. We need Moony and the only way we'll get him is if you go and apologise, make things right with him.”

“No.”

“Sirius!”

“I'm not doing it.”

“You're being a right prat,” James said, getting off his bed to pace about the dorm, “Just go and say sorry to him. Get on your knees if you have to, beg him to come help us.”

“You were the one who said we didn't need him,” Sirius said, grumpily, “You said you needed me more cos people like me.”

“Well I was wrong ok?” James cried and turned to Sirius, arms folded, “We _need_ Moony, otherwise this isn't going to work.”

“Well then – you can have him,” Sirius bit out, and he got to his feet angrily, “Just tell him that I'm no longer involved in your stupid prank and he'll come bounding back.” He strode over to the door and wrenched it open, “Because I'm not helping anymore. I'm out!”

And he thundered out of the dorm, slamming the door loudly behind him.

“Problems in paradise?”

Remus Lupin was standing halfway up the stairs, staring at him with eyebrows raised. Sirius glowered at him.

“You win, Lupin,” he hissed, “You get them. I'm out.”

And he stormed past Remus, down to the common room below. He didn't need any of them. He didn't need James or Peter, and he certainly didn't need Remus _bloody_ Lupin! Dorcas Meadowes thought he was nice and charming and cool and Sirius liked having someone who thought highly of him. It made a damned good change.

He was thirteen years old, for crying out loud! He was deserving of a little more respect. And Dorcas was willing to offer him that. He didn't need the stupid Marauders being stupid and judgemental after all!

Sirius slammed open the portrait hole and strode off. He thought Dorcas might be in the library at this time, studying away, so headed there.

He was just turning a corner when he ran into someone, quite literally. The two of them bounced off each other and fell to the floor. Sirius swore and looked up. He swore again: it was Regulus.

“What are you doing?” He spat out. Regulus looked up and scowled.

“Well I was walking along the corridor before you knocked into me.”

“You walked into me!” Sirius huffed as he got to his feet, but he was too tired to get really mad at his brother. Fighting with James had really taken it out of him. You really had to try to get into a fight with James, he was so bloody good-natured, at least when it came to Sirius. Well, Sirius thought bitterly, at least he usually was.

“Look, I don't have time for you Sirius,” Regulus bit out, “I have homework up to my ears and I need to get it done. So if you don't mind, I'll be on my way.”

He made to walk past but Sirius grabbed him by the arm. He wasn't sure why he did that though. Regulus raised his eyebrows, nostrils flared.

“Look, Reggie,” Sirius said, “I don't...” He trailed off and sighed, “Where did we go wrong? We used to be so close.”

Regulus's expression changed. He frowned. “I don't know, Sirius. I guess... you can be a right tosser sometimes, y'know?”

Sirius sighed: great. That was just great.

“Ugh,” he said, “Whatever.”

“Oh, that's all you have to say,” Regulus looked livid, “Just whatever. You're a right prat, Sirius.”

And he shrugged himself out of Sirius's grasp, striding away down the corridor. Sirius watched him go, blood pounding his ears. Great, just great. Everything today was going just great.

He stomped the last distance to the library, throwing open the doors with a loud bang. Madam Pince looked up at him, horrified, but Sirius quickly darted away, disappearing down a row of shelves in search of the one person who actually liked him: Dorcas Meadowes.

He found her pretty quickly but he felt his stomach harden when he saw who she was with. All four Gryffindor second year girls sat huddled together by a large window near the back of the library, giggling and talking quietly. Maybe this wasn't a great idea.

Sirius was about to leave when Dorcas looked up and saw him. She waved and the other girls spun round to see him standing there. He swallowed. Well. Couldn't back out now – and Dorcas was smiling so nicely at him. He walked over and pulled up a chair next to Dorcas.

“Alright ladies,” he said with a smile. He glanced over to Evans whose face was stony then to Mary and Marlene who were exchanging knowing smirks. Girls were so weird. He focused back on Dorcas, who was still beaming at him. “Alright Dorcas?”

“Yeah,” she said, “I didn't know you ever came to the library.”

Sirius winked, “I do for the right person.” Dorcas giggled, but Evans huffed loudly from his right. He turned to her, eyebrows raised, “Something the matter Evans?”

“No, nothing,” she said, scowling at him, “Just wondered whether you're here for Dorcas or because all your friends have dropped you for being a tosser.”

“Lily,” Dorcas hissed and Evans had the good grace to blush but she was still glowering at Sirius. He folded his arms. Stupid racist muggle-born witch.

“Bit feisty aren't you Evans,” he said softly, “Considering your track record with your friends.”

“And what's that supposed to mean?” Lily asked, but she was going even redder now. Sirius smirked.

“Oh, I think you know what I mean.”

“If you're just here to pick fights, Black,” Mary said, frowning at him, “Maybe it's best you push off.”

Sirius held his hands up, “She was the one to start on me.”

“Well why shouldn't I?” Lily hissed, “Seeing as you've been a right prat to my friend.”

Sirius frowned: what was she talking about? He always treated the girls nicely, and it had been ages since the last Snivellus incident. Lily huffed.

“You really really hurt Remus,” she said, “And I don't know what you said exactly, but he's been really upset. You hurt him, and that's no way to treat your mates.”

Sirius got to his feet suddenly. He glowered down at her. “You don't know shit, Evans.” How dare she talk about Remus to him? Remus was _his_ friend more than hers.

“Well I know a damn sight more than you, Black,” Lily hissed, eyes wide. “Seeing as I'm the one whose been there for Remus after you dropped him.”

“He dropped me,” Sirius retorted, feeling wild with anger now. Lily Evans was such a meddling prat. How dare she presume to get involved? How dare she!

“And why was that, Black?” Lily asked, voice low, “Cos you hurt him. You really _really_ hurt him. That's no way to treat your friends.”

“And you know so much about that, don't you?”

Lily blinked but said nothing.

“Alright, Sirius,” Mary said sharply, “I think we've had enough of this. You can go now.”

He glanced at her then over to Marlene who had reached over to Dorcas. Dorcas who looked close to tears. Damn, he hadn't meant to upset her of all people. Then he looked back at Lily: bloody Evans.

“I know all about you, Evans,” he said, voice soft, “And your racist muggle bullshit.”

Lily stood up, chest heaving and she opened her mouth, but no words came out. She looked close to tears. But, again, it was Mary who spoke next.

“Don't talk about things you don't understand, Black,” she said calmly, “Now get out.”

“How can you defend her?” Sirius cried, turning on MacDonald in shock, “You're muggle-born too, and you have to put up with the same crap that she... that her lot...”

Mary got to her feet, “Get out, Sirius,” she said sharply, “You're a white pure-blood prat. What do you know about muggle racism?”

Sirius clenched his fists but couldn't come up with anything to say. He swallowed and looked over to Dorcas who was actually crying now. “Dorcas, I...” He trailed off.

“Don't talk to her,” Marlene said sharply, glowering up at him, “You should go.”

He glanced over to Lily who was shaking uncontrollably. Her face was very pale now. Then he looked back to Mary. She wasn't shaking, just looking at him coldly, calmly; inscrutable and in control. She raised her eyebrows and he nodded.

“Fine.”

He turned on his heels and left, making a point of banging the library door loudly against the wall just to annoy stupid Madam Pince. Hearing her cry out in shock was very satisfying but it didn't stop the boiling whirling unhappy rage inside him.

Somehow he knew deep down that this was all Remus's fault.

Stupid bloody Remus Lupin.

***

The last week of term arrived and Sirius was still not talking to his friends, nor anyone really. Not even sweet Dorcas Meadowes would even look in his direction. It really sucked.

And what really got to him was the fact that he'd missed the November full moon a couple of weeks back.

Even though he was upset with Remus, he still really really wished he could have been there in the hospital wing with the other two to check that their mate was alright. Sirius was mad at himself for missing it. Why had he let everything get away from him like that?

But it was still too hard to talk to Moony. Missing the moon had made the whole thing even worse. Sirius felt stupid and ashamed and so bloody angry. He missed his friends more than anything.

And so that's how he wound up talking to Remus after over a month of not.

It was snowing as the Gryffindors trudged back up to the castle after their final Herbology lesson before Christmas.

“Remus,” Sirius called and his three friends turned round. James was biting his lip, looking distinctly uncertain whilst Peter wouldn't even look at him. But Sirius turned away from them to focus on the person he needed to talk to.

“What do you want, Sirius?” Remus asked, arms folded.

“Can I talk to you?”

“What are we doing now?”

“Please, Moony.”

Remus sighed then nodded to James and Peter. James gave Sirius a nervous smile. “We'll see you both inside.” And he and Pete carried on walking through the snowdrifts.

Sirius trudged the last distance to Remus. His werewolf friend still had his arms folded, with a tightness in his jaw that Sirius hated more than anything.

“I'm sorry.” His voice broke slightly and he wiped hastily at his eyes, “Remus I'm so sorry. And then I missed last moon and everything and I'm just... I really ballsed things up with the girls too, and my brother and...” He trailed off and took a deep breath before looking up at Remus. The other boy really needed to stop growing, Sirius thought bitterly, or else he'd need a step-ladder soon to meet his gaze.

“Sirius?”

“I don't care about any of that,” Sirius said, waving his hand nonchalantly, “Because nothing's worse than you hating me.”

“I don't...” Remus's voice broke and he took a deep breath, “I don't hate you, Sirius.”

Sirius smiled, “Really?”

“Don't,” Remus said and shook his head, “I _should_ hate you for being such a prat. Lily told me what you said to her and Mary and the girls.” He shook his head again, “You really are a force of destruction aren't you, Sirius?”

Sirius nodded, “That's why I need you. I'll be _your_ force of destruction. Just point me in the direction you want destroyed and I'm there.”

Remus laughed and Sirius felt his heart beat faster: Moony must forgive him now. If he'd laughed that was a good sign, wasn't it? Wasn't it?

“You're impossible,” Remus said with a sigh, “Alright, Sirius Black. I forgive you.”

Sirius hadn't ever felt this happy and relieved in his entire life before. “Thank you Remus,” he said and pulled the taller boy into a tight hug, “I swear I won't let you down.”

“Alright, alright,” Remus said, pushing him off, a light blush enriching his cheeks, “Don't make promises you can't keep. You're a prat but I think I'll keep you.”

“Aw Moony,” Sirius said, slinging his arm around the werewolf's shoulder as they started heading up to the castle, “You say that but I know you love me really.”

Remus snorted and shook his head, “Hm, maybe I forgave you too quickly.”

“You can't take it back,” Sirius said hastily, “You said you forgive me and you can't take it back!”

“I only said it so we'd have you on side for the prank on Friday.”

“Did you figure out the details?”

“Of course I did,” Remus said, only sounding a little offended. He looked over to Sirius and smiled, “But we are definitely going to need your charm to stop the worst of the wrath from the teachers.”

“I'm all over it,” Sirius said as they reached the castle doors, “I charmed you into forgiving me, didn't I? I can charm anyone.”

Remus snorted and the two boys walked into the Entrance Hall still laughing. Then they were knocked over by an overemotional James.

“Bloody hell, Potter,” Sirius cried from the floor. He tried shoving the other boy off but James was having none of it.

“I'm so glad you and dad aren't getting divorced,” James said, squeezing him tightly, “Me and Pete didn't want to go into foster care.”

“Stop being a prat,” Remus said, getting to his feet, wry smile on his face. Sirius pushed his friend off.

“Does that make me mum?” He asked James, eyebrows raised.

James shrugged, “Yeah.”

“Bloody hell.”

“Good to have you back, Sirius,” Peter said from further back, “We wouldn't be the Marauders without you.”

Sirius smirked, “Yeah, obviously.” He glanced to James, “You're not crying, are you James?”

“Shove off,” James said thickly and clambered back to his feet, “I'm a sensitive flower, you know that.”

Sirius snorted and got to his feet too. “So, this end of term prank?”

“Oh it's gonna be brilliant,” Peter said, beaming. Remus nodded.

“We're going to blow their socks off.”

Sirius beamed and flung an arm over James's shoulder, “Well lads, the band's back together. John Lennon is back with the Beatles.”

“You are _not_ Lennon in a Beatles analogy,” Remus said seriously.

“What? Yeah I am!”

“Whatever, Ringo.”

Sirius was flabbergasted, “I'm _not_ Ringo!”

“Shut up with the muggle music analogies,” James whined, “I don't get them.”

The four of them made their way up the stairs, Sirius firmly squashed between James and Remus, Peter on James's other side.

“If you don't listen to good music then that's not our problem,” Remus said with a smirk and Sirius chortled. He felt bloody amazing. He had his friends back. Remus had forgiven him and everything was good.

“So, this prank?”

James's eyes gleamed, “Oh, just wait, Sirius. It's gonna be bloody amazing.”

Sirius felt his own grin broaden: brilliant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, there we go. The band's back together and pranks are a-brewing. As much as I love angst, finally resolving it is satisfying. 
> 
> Regular update day to be Tuesdays so I will see you guys next week with a juicy Remus chapter. Thank you for reading guys - your comments mean so much <3


	22. December 1972: REMUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> December in the fic and December irl - we're matching!
> 
> CW: discussion of racism

**December 1972**

_REMUS._

He could forgive Sirius anything, Remus thought with a sigh. Pete always said that Remus was the only person immune to Sirius's charm but that just wasn't true. He was actually much more susceptible to it than anyone. It was actually quite terrifying.

Still, Sirius had finally apologised, and Remus had him back.

He yawned, stretched, then clambered sleepily out of bed. Today was the last day of term. Today was the day of their big prank. He chortled to himself: he couldn't wait to see McGonagall's face, and Sirius's attempts to charm her would be equally hilarious no doubt. Bloody Sirius.

Remus, smiling to himself, wandered over to the bathroom.

Half an hour later he came out, showered and dressed, to see that everyone was still asleep. He snorted: typical.

So instead he wandered down to the common room. It was still very early and there were only a few people up. But sitting in a corner, reading one of his mother's books he'd leant her, sat Lily Evans. She was frowning deeply, mouthing some of the words to herself as he came over.

“Morning Lily.”

She looked up, saw him, and smiled, “Alright Remus?”

“Yeah.”

She gestured to the book she was reading, “Does your mum want these back?”

He shook his head, “Nah, you can keep hold of them for a while longer.”

“She doesn't mind, does she?”

“Mind?” Remus sat down next to her, eyebrows raised, “She's bloody over the moon about it. A white muggle-born learning about racism in a non-racist environment.” He gestured around the room, implying the entirety of Hogwarts and the wizarding world, “She loves it.”

Lily looked down, blushing slightly, “You told her... everything.”

Remus nodded, thinking back to the conversations he'd had with his mum over the summer, when he himself still wasn't keen on Lily; then to the letters the two of them had exchanged over the past few months. Hope Lupin loved the fact that Lily was taking the time to educate herself and had kept writing that _this_ was how change would really happen: when those with the power in the messed up hierarchy started learning about it.

“She thinks its bloody brilliant that you're taking the time to learn,” he said with a smile. Then he bit his lip, thinking of something else, “I'm sorry about what Sirius said to you in the library.”

Lily blushed deeper and shook her head, “Don't be. You're not his keeper.” She sighed, “And anyway, it's not like he's wrong about it all, now is he?”

“Yeah but he doesn't really know enough to comment,” Remus said with a shrug, “He's pure-blood. He's white. He was a prat to bring it up.”

“You're white and, well, you're not a muggle-born like me,” Lily said slowly, “But your opinion matters, Remus. You can't just say whose words mean more, y'know.”

Remus blinked at her, surprised. Then he nodded, slowly, “Yeah, I guess. But... I mean, come on, Lily. Would you rather me or Sirius talking to you about it?”

Lily snorted, “Ok, you got me.” Then she looked up and smiled at something over Remus's shoulder. He turned round to see Mary coming down the stairs, still in her pyjamas and bleary eyed.

“Morning, Mary,” he said and she waved at him wearily before coming over to sit with them in the corner.

“Hey, Remus,” she said, still yawning.

Lily stifled a giggle, “Is there a reason you're up so early, Mary?”

Mary nodded, looking deeply disgruntled, “Marlene is sleep singing again.”

Remus blinked: what the hell? Lily seemed to noticed his bewildered expression because she hastily explained.

“Er... Marlene's always been a strange sleeper. She talks sometimes, has full conversations and everything,” she said, “And um, now it seems she's started, er...”

“Belting out the muggle national anthem in the early hours of the morning,” Mary finished, looking so done.

Remus snorted. “Well. That's fun.”

“We were just talking about Sirius and what he said,” Lily told Mary and that seemed to perk the other girl up. She turned to Remus, eyebrows furrowed.

“You really need to control him, Lupin,” She said firmly, “When he's in a grump, he's awful.”

“I know, I know,” Remus said with a sigh, “Look, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again.”

“It's not up to Remus to control Sirius!” Lily said, exasperated. Mary shrugged then turned to Remus.

“You've forgiven him for whatever it was, haven't you?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then,” Mary said, folding her arms and raising her eyebrows as though she'd proved a great point, “He's his friend so he's his responsibility. Just like you're mine, Lils.”

Lily sighed, “Alright. Fine.”

“We were just talking about muggle racism,” Remus said after a moment's silence, “My mum thinks it's great that Lily's educating herself.”

“Yeah, it is,” Mary said, but her face was neutral. Remus bit his lip and she sighed, “What do you want, Lupin? Me to give you both gold stars for not endorsing white supremacy?”

Remus looked away from Mary's stare, feeling awkward and uncomfortable, “Uh, no, I was... er, just talking about it. I didn't mean to be like that. I didn't...” He trailed off and Mary snorted.

“Yes, Remus. It's great that I don't have to deal with racism from my best friend.” She sighed and rested her head back against the top of the chair, eyes closed peacefully, “Hogwarts is so bloody amazing. I almost don't want to have to go back to muggle London for Christmas.”

“My mum prefers shopping in wizard places rather than muggle ones,” Remus said softly and Mary opened her eyes, staring at him in consideration.

“Your mum seems really cool.”

“She is,” Remus said, smiling, “I forget you met her at Diagon Alley that time.”

“My mum is always talking about Hope Lupin in her letters,” Mary said with a snort, “They have a lot in common I guess.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, nodding. His mum had mentioned Louise MacDonald quite a few times in her letters to him. “They seem to have created a muggle mothers to wizarding kids group via letters.”

Mary snorted, “Don't. Mothers are crazy.”

Remus smiled but didn't agree with her. Hope Lupin was the sanest, kindest, bestest person ever. Not that Remus was biased or anything.

At that moment a distraction appeared in the form of a pyjama clad Sirius Black. He bounced down the stairs, looking about eagerly. When he saw Remus he let out a shout and came bounding over.

“Ready for today then, Remus?” He asked then faltered when he saw who Remus was sat with.

Lily had gone very pale whilst Mary now looked wide awake as she sat forward, chin tilted upwards. Sirius swallowed then looked to Remus who simply raised his eyebrows.

“Right,” Sirius muttered and he came and sat down next to him. He looked down at his hands, took a breath, then looked up. “I'm, erm, I'm sorry Lily. And to you too Mary. About what I said in the library.”

Mary nodded, “You should be,” she said curtly, “Seeing as you were talking about something you know next to nothing about.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said sheepishly, “Right.” He bit his lip and looked to Remus but Remus just shrugged. The awkward silence prolonged. Then Lily spoke.

“What did you mean when you said 'ready for today Remus'?”

Ah.

Remus exchanged a look with Sirius who was now biting back a smirk. Mary snorted.

“Alright, Black,” she said, “I forgive you, but I have a strange feeling that soon all four of you will be begging our forgiveness again.”

Remus laughed nervously, glancing to Lily who had the strangest expression on her pale face. She looked torn between nerves and admonishment. Then she sighed and got to her feet.

“What I know can't hurt me, right?” She looked to Remus and he nodded slowly.

“It can't hurt you _that_ much.”

Mary laughed, “Oh dear God, maybe it was better when you two weren't speaking. The Marauders back together can only spell trouble for the rest of us.”

Sirius chuckled, “We do try, MacDonald. Anything for you ladies.” He winked.

Lily sighed. “You know you owe Dorcas an apology too.”

That wiped the smile of Sirius's face. He looked down and nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

Remus stared at his friend. He wondered what was going to happen between him and Dorcas. Maybe they'd start dating. That was what teenagers did, right? And Sirius  _was_ a teenager now so... He wondered why the thought made a strange weight form in his stomach. Weird. 

“Come on, Sirius,” he said, clambering to his feet too, “Let's wake James and Peter up.”

“Wouldn't Mary like to waken the latter?” Sirius asked with a waggle of his eyebrows. Mary stuck her tongue out at him then closed her eyes and fell back against her headrest. “I'll take that as a no then,” Sirius said and hopped to his feet. “Alright, Moony. Shenanigans await!”

Remus snorted and, waving goodbye to the girls, he followed Sirius back up to their dorm.

***

It was still early when the Marauders made their way down to the Great Hall. They enacted their plan then sat down under the invisibility cloak in the Entrance Hall to wait.

***

And of course it was the girls who first stumbled into the Great Hall that morning. Lily went in first, skipping merrily along. She disappeared through the doors as the other girls came down the steps. There was a moment of silence then a long scream before Lily came bursting back out, face bright red.

“Those bastards!” She cried.

Mary frowned. “What have they done?”

“No, don't go in there,” Lily cried. Mary froze and turned to look at Lily, confused.

From beside him, Remus felt Sirius stifle a snort and James shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Well now I have to see,” Marlene said firmly and she wheeled herself through the doors into the hall. Dorcas hesitated then followed after her friend. Mary however, stayed where she was, considering it.

“What have they done Lils?”

“I dunno,” Lily said, “Something to gravity. It's all the wrong way up.” Before she could further explain, though, there was a shout from the hall and Marlene came wheeling out, her face bright. Dorcas followed her, stumbling slightly.

“That's bloody brilliant,” she whispered, clearly breathless.

“Alright, fine,” Mary said, and marched through the doors herself. There was a long moment of silence then Mary came back out, shaking her head.

“McGonagall is going to kill them.” She said, but she was smiling brightly.

“Oh damn this,” Peter said, and he clambered out from under the cloak to greet the girls, arm raised. “Alright ladies.”

Oh dear, Remus thought: was he trying to mimic Sirius's charm? He was wasn't he? It did  _not_ suit Peter one bit.

“You lot are for it this time,” Marlene said, still chortling.

“I don't know what you're talking about, McKinnon,” Peter said and then Remus saw something horrifying: Pettigrew tried winking. And it was bad.

“Oh Merlin's pants, someone save him,” Remus muttered and Sirius jumped out of the cloak.

“I'm on it!”

“Not you!” Remus cried but too late. He turned to James who shrugged, and the last two hidden Marauders revealed themselves, shrugging out of the cloak and following Sirius over to the huddle of Gryffindor second years.

“Something wrong ladies?” Sirius asked smoothly, “Don't you want breakfast this morning?”

“What have you done Sirius?” Dorcas asked, folding her arms in a very Lilyish manoeuvrer.

“We've done nothing,” James said, slinging an arm over Sirius's shoulder in support, “Shall we go in ourselves, Mr Black?”

“Why, of course, Mr Potter,” Sirius said with a smirk and Remus watched, barely managing to bite back his own laughter, as the two of them disappeared through the doors. Marlene was in hysterics.

Remus offered her his own arm, “Ms McKinnon?”

“Oh bloody hell, yes!” Marlene chortled and reached up to take Remus's proffered hand. He leant down slightly so she could reach more easily. Then the two of them entered the Great Hall.

The whole world went topsy-turvy. Marlene was laughing beside him and suddenly they were upside down on what ought to have been the Great Hall's ceiling. But now it was the floor. Far below them, reaching out to infinity lay the sky, still dotted with stars in the early morning dawn. The house tables sat in their usual positions, just flipped to protrude down.

In fact, everything bar the doors, was flipped: up was down and down was up. It was a nifty bit of perception magic that James in particular had a knack for.

The two of them headed along the ceiling-floor towards where James and Sirius were sitting at the Gryffindor table in absolute hysterics. Sirius's hair was sticking up, or rather down, still drawn to where the floor ought to have been despite the fact that he was stuck happily on the ceiling-floor.

The only thing, bar the sticking up hair, that indicated a great change, were the doors out of the Great Hall themselves.

From the nearest one, the one they had just come through, Remus could see Peter and the rest of the girls peering through, staring up at the rest of them in awe. This was insane. This was brilliant. This was so bloody Marauder excellence that Remus couldn't stop his wide beam as he and Marlene joined James and Sirius at the table.

“Good morning,” James said in mock formality, “Tis wondrous weather we are having for this time of year is it not?”

“Indeed,” Sirius said, “Eggs, Ms McKinnon.”

He offered said dish to the girl who was still chortling uncontrollably. She nodded and accepted them with a wide grin, “Why thank you, Mr Black.”

And then the four of them broke down into hysterics again.

“What in Merlin's name is going on here?!”

Ah. Oh dear.

It was McGonagall. She came striding up to them, hair knot sticking up (or down depending on perspective) ridiculously as she stormed over.

“Ah my dearest Minnie,” Sirius said smoothly, “We were just remarking on the marvellous weather we've been having.”

“I'll give you marvellous weather, Black,” McGonagall hissed. She looked around eyes wide, “Why can't you put even an ounce of the effort you do into pranks into your studies instead?!”

“Professor,” Remus began but was secretly relieved when McGonagall held up a hand to silence him. He had no idea where he was going to go with that. McGonagall glowered at them.

“Detention for all four of you.”

“What?” Marlene cried, horrified, “But I didn't do this!”

“Guilty by association, Ms McKinnon,” McGonagall said coolly and Marlene finally stopped laughing. She turned on the other three at the table.

“You lot are the worst! I had plans to enjoy my last day.”

Sirius shrugged, unconcerned, “Just one of the risks of the job.”

“Enough, Black,” McGonagall said, “You'll be serving detention for the rest of the week, seeing as you're staying over Christmas anyway.” She turned on Remus, “And you too, Mr Lupin.”

Remus blinked: he hadn't known Sirius was staying over Christmas. He had been certain that James had invited him to the Potters' for the break. He turned to see Sirius looking at him in surprise.

“You're staying too?”

Remus shrugged, “Yeah.”

“But you love your parents,” Sirius said, frowning, “Why would...” He trailed off, eyes widening as he seemed to realise. “ _Oh_.” 

Fortunately neither Marlene nor McGonagall seemed to have noticed this interaction: the former still grumbling about detention, the other still looking about the hall and tutting loudly.

“Right,” McGonagall said eventually, “I want all four of you out of here. There'll be no students in here till we've figured out a way to undo it.”

“Oh but professor if no one comes in then that defeats the point,” James moaned then looked down when McGonagall gave him a nostril-flaring glare.

“Out. Now.”

They didn't hesitate. McGonagall looked beyond furious so they hastily obeyed.

Back out in the Entrance Hall, Peter was chortling along with the rest of the girls. Even Lily looked amused. Remus smiled. So what? He had detention over Christmas – there were worse things after all.

“That's why you never hang out with boys, Marlene,” Lily said. McKinnon glowered at her but Remus noticed that Lily had been looking mainly at Dorcas when she'd said it. Interesting. Very interesting.

Dorcas, however, only had eyes for Sirius. Remus felt that weight in his stomach again and he looked away as Sirius drew the girl away from the group, speaking softly to her. He must be apologising, Remus thought. That was a good thing, he reminded himself forcefully: it was good Sirius was making amends.

Remus liked Dorcas: she was sweet and kind. And it was a good thing that Sirius was getting along with her. But the lump in Remus's stomach still didn't budge.

Strange.

***

Later that day they sat in the classroom, writing lines:  _I will not turn the Great Hall upside down for my own amusement._

Marlene and James sat near the front, the latter turning round every so often to shoot great big grins at the other two. Remus sighed. This was not a great start to the Christmas break. A shuffle from beside him made him look to his left. A piece of rolled up parchment landed softly in front of him. He looked at Sirius, eyebrows raised.

The other boy mimicked opening it. With a strange sense of de-ja-vu, Remus did as asked.

_Y u stying ovr xmas?_

Remus frowned: he assumed 'stying' meant 'staying'. Was the letter 'a' really too much work for Sirius? Then he sighed: what was he thinking? Of course the letter 'a' was too much work for him. He was Sirius Black.

Remus bent down and penned a hasty reply.

_I will tell you later. Ok?_

He chucked the parchment back to Sirius then bent down over his lines. He heard the other boy huff but there was no return scrawl and the rest of their detention passed uneventfully.

Marlene was so annoyed with them for getting her into trouble that once McGonagall had let them all go, she refused to speak to them for the rest of the day. And she glowered spectacularly at Peter in particular throughout dinner.

“What did I do?” Peter asked, indignant.

“Er, well you helped us with the prank but you didn't get blamed,” Remus explained, “Whilst Marlene, who did not help with the prank, had to serve detention with the rest of us.”

Sirius snorted into his drink whilst Peter muttered grumpily. James however, was not paying attention.

“D'you think if I'd been born seven years earlier that it'd be me your cousin is snogging right now?”

Sirius choked on his pumpkin juice, much to Remus's amusement, and the three other Marauders turned to see what James was looking at. Over by the Hufflepuff table, Andromeda Black was plonked firmly in the lap of Ted Tonks, their faces so firmly attached that it could've been some sort of jinx.

Sirius sighed, “Mate, I did not need to see that today. Please stop.”

James huffed, but reluctantly turned away. “We're gonna be playing Slytherin next year,” he said, “And Andy's seeker isn't she?”

“Yup,” Sirius said.

“If only she were a chaser like me,” James said dreamily, “Or keeper even. Then we'd be facing off against each other on the pitch. Romantic right?”

“Sure.”

“I know Benjy Fenwick started crushing on Mary after our game.”

“He did?” Peter sounded deeply concerned and Remus couldn't blame him really: Benjy Fenwick was, according to the girls, the most attractive boy in the entire school, and he was a Hufflepuff too. Perfect boyfriend material really, Remus thought.

“Yeah, yeah, catch up Pete,” Sirius said with a nonchalant wave of his hand, “But come on James. You need to get over this crush. Andy's gonna be leaving at the end of the year. Who are you going to pine after then?”

James shrugged then clasped an overdramatic hand to his chest, “I shall pine for no one else. If I can't have Andromeda Black then I take no other.”

“Sure, James. Sure.”

Sirius waggled his eyebrows at Remus then got distracted, looking down the table at something behind him. Remus turned and felt that weird lump in his stomach again. Dorcas Meadowes was waving coyly up the table at Sirius.

Fine: that was just completely, totally, absolutely fine. Just fine. Brilliant even. Remus took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. Big mistake.

The moon was waxing: it would be full this time next week. And that was the reason Remus was staying at school over break: his transformations were getting harder as he got older and he really _really_ didn't want to put his parents at risk, especially as he had such a lovely routine here at Hogwarts.

He sighed and looked back down. This was all just fine. Completely, totally, absolutely fine.

Just Fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't decide if I'm writing this fic for the character analysis that gives me uncomfortable realizations about myself or for the strenuous mental weight-lifting that is the process of coming up with prank ideas. I started it for wolfstar feels and so I could live a Hogwarts experience a couple steps away from canon, but this fic is challenging me in ways I both love and hate, and never really planned for. (I one hundred percent blame Sirius for this - him and Lily - why couldn't they just be clear-cut heroes and be done with it).
> 
> Anyway, thanks for coming along for the ride - update next week friends xo


	23. Christmas 1972: MINERVA & ALBUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying something different with this chapter so heads-up – it's two new POVs in one chapter. I wanted an external look at Remus and Sirius over the holidays and McGonagall cleared her throat loudly in my ear so I had to write her. And then Dumbledore kinda happened. Anyway, this is a different chapter to usual but despite not being a Sirius or Remus POV, it's definitely a wolfstar-centric chapter.
> 
> CW: reference to Sirius's abusive home life

**Christmas 1972**

_MINERVA._

Minerva McGonagall was not fooled by Remus Lupin's innocent face. Other, lesser, teachers might be taken in by it, but Minerva had been teaching for long enough to know a dangerous mischief maker like Lupin when she saw one.

And so, when she came down for breakfast on Christmas morning to a Great Hall waist high in snowdrifts, she knew who to look for.

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were giggling together in the middle of a particularly large snowdrift where the Gryffindor house table usually stood. Of course, with two of these so called _Marauders_ staying at Hogwarts over Christmas this year, Minerva had known it was not going to be an easy two weeks. She sighed: Albus was definitely _not_ paying her enough for this.

Wand held aloft to melt a path through the snow, Minerva strode over to the two Gryffindor second years.

“Am I not giving you enough detentions?” She asked, more tired than she could even begin to express. The two boys jumped and turned round, only one of them having the sense to look even the tiniest bit abashed.

Sirius Black was beaming. Oh please, Merlin,  _no_ .

“And a Merry Christmas to you too, my dear Minnie,” he said with a wink. Lupin had the sense to shift his chair a little away from Black, as though he wished to distance himself both physically and literally from Black's comments.

“Look, Sirius,” she said, voice firm, cutting across his deranged flirtations, “I'm going to be honest with you. If you can't behave at Hogwarts over the holidays then it seems unlikely that you'll be allowed back at Easter.”

As expected, his face paled literally.

She sighed, “I know neither of us want that, now, do we Mr Black?” Sirius shook his head hastily. “Good. Then I can expect nothing more like this until term recommences?” She gestured to the snow-clad hall. Sirius nodded sheepishly.

“We _are_ sorry, professor,” Lupin piped up and she turned to look at him, “But, it's not like it's hurting anyone now, is it? And it is Christmas after all, and look - ” His mouth had fallen open as he pointed to something behind Minerva. She didn't turn. She'd heard Albus's delighted yelp and did not want to see it.

“Professor,” Lupin said, mouth still agape, “Professor Dumbledore and Professor Slughorn have started having a snowball fight.”

Minerva closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. “You make an excellent point, Mr Lupin,” she said heavily, “But still, your detention tomorrow will be double in length. And Merry Christmas.”

She walked back up to the staff table, glowering at Albus and Horace as she did. The two fools at least had the decency to look a little sheepish, the expressions of the two old professors almost perfectly mimicking the looks that she'd just seen on her two Gryffindors' faces.

Minerva sighed: she  _really_ wasn't paid enough for this.

***

Minerva McGonagall was in her office marking a few last essays later that morning when a snowball crashed against her window. Already peeved that she was spending any of Christmas working, Minerva got to her feet angrily, and marched over to the window.

She stuck her head out, looked down, and sighed. But of course.

Far below her, playing loudly in the snow were Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Well, she thought drily, at least they're messing about in the snow outside, rather than in.

And she was about to shut her window and get back to her marking when their voices carried up.

“You're a prat, Sirius,” Remus cried after a particularly large splatter hit him straight on the face, “I'll get you for that.”

And he walloped a pile of snow right into the other boy's face. Minerva chuckled, despite herself. It was always satisfying to see Lupin stand up for himself with Black. Not for Remus's sake, but for Sirius. That boy needed someone to keep him in line, and Merlin knows Minerva couldn't.

The boys continued playing far below, quite unaware of their head of house watching them, equally endeared and amused despite herself. Then their fight seemed to come to an end and Minerva was about to close the window when she heard her name mentioned.

“I can't believe McGonagall threatened you with having to go home,” Remus said, voice so soft that it was only because of how quiet the snow-clad school was during the holidays that Minerva could hear.

“It doesn't matter Moony,” Sirius said, lying flat on his back in the snow to make snow-angels. Minerva bit her lip: that _had_ been harsh of her, especially with what she was starting to suspect Mr Black's home life was really like.

“But it does,” Remus insisted, crouching down by Sirius's head, arms folded as he stared down at his friend, “I always thought McGonagall was a decent sort, but that... that was just cruel.”

“We'd charmed snow to fall and actually settle in the Great Hall,” Sirius replied with a snort, “She was more than entitled to be upset about it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Remus said and Minerva could hear the frown in his voice. “But still. It's... It wasn't fair.”

“Ugh, Moony, stop,” Sirius said, clenching a mock hand to his heart, “To hear you wound the love of my life does me great injury.”

“Tosser,” Remus muttered and dumped a pile of snow on Sirius's face. Minerva smiled but she felt a little guilty now too.

From what she had overheard, it seemed that Sirius really did have real problems at home, as suspected; and there she'd been, threatening him with having to go back there at Easter. Minerva sighed and closed the window softly so as not to draw attention to herself.

She settled back to marking those last essays before heading out of her office and to the staffroom. No doubt Albus would have broken out the mulled wine by now. Dear Merlin, she thought with a shake of her head: he and Horace would probably be getting up to the worst sort of mischief.

Sirius Black slipped to the back of her mind as she opened the door to find a very drunk headmaster and a potions master singing muggle carols at the top of their voices.

Really, Minerva sighed: she needed to ask for a pay rise, and soon.

***

The Great Hall on Boxing Day was blissfully clear of snow or any sort of wintery precipitate. Minerva was deeply relieved but her eyes were soon drawn to the completely empty seats at the Gryffindor table. There were only two of her lions staying at Hogwarts over the holidays and she had a deep sinking sensation in her stomach as she considered all the terrible possibilities behind those empty chairs.

Eventually, having had as much of the uncertainty as she could take, Minerva McGonagall made her excuses and left the table, passing a deeply hungover headmaster and feeling only a little bit smug about it.

She made her way up to Gryffindor tower and clambered through the portrait hole as elegantly as she could. What were the two Marauders up to?

She righted herself after the portrait hole and looked about the common room with only a slight hint of nervousness. And there they were.

Studying.

Minerva frowned. Then Remus looked up from his textbook and blinked when he saw her standing there.

“Professor?” He said, surprised. From beside him, Sirius looked up to and went slightly pink. Surely the boy wasn't embarrassed to be caught studying by a professor? Or, at least, she hoped it was studying.

Just to check, she walked slowly over and peered down at the books spread out on the table. They really _were_ just studying: preparing to write the long Transfiguration essay she'd set the second years before the Christmas break.

“It's a flick rather than a twist,” she said, trying to cover her surprise. Sirius blinked. She sighed, “You've written that the spell requires a twist of the wand. But it's really a flick.”

Sirius looked down at his parchment, “Oh.” He hastily corrected his mistake. “Thanks.”

“Can we help you, professor?” Remus asked, ever the polite and innocent one.

Minerva sighed: truly, it was Remus Lupin who would drive her to madness before Sirius Black. At least with the latter you always knew where you stood: with Lupin you could never be completely sure if he was genuinely innocent or else just pretending to cover for some terrible misdemeanour.

“I, er, I just wanted to check on you both,” she said then came to a decision, sitting down in a cushy armchair across from them both.

“Mr Black,” she said quietly, looking him directly in the eye, “I think I owe you an apology.”

Sirius blinked, eyes widening, but Remus had cocked his head to one side, considering her curiously.

“What for, professor?” Sirius asked.

“Implying that you might be forced to go home for the next holidays,” Minerva said, “It was unfair of me, considering...” she trailed off, not because she was uncomfortable, but because she wasn't sure she should let Sirius know how much she had figured out about his home life.

What jurisdiction did she, as his teacher, have there after all? The wizarding world had no social services as they did in the muggle one. She could quite easily cause more harm than good. Seeing his jaw tighten at her words, she knew she'd made the right decision not mentioning it.

“You will, of course, be able to stay at Hogwarts over the Easter holidays,” she said with a smile. Sirius nodded and gave her a stiff smile back, but Remus was frowning.

“And what about the summer, professor?” He asked. She looked at him. Sirius did too, with a dark glower across his face.

“The summer?”

“Will Sirius be able to stay at school, at Hogwarts, over the summer holidays too?” Remus put down his quill and folded his arms. Truly, Minerva thought, Remus Lupin was a force to be reckoned with, especially when it came to his friends.

“Hogwarts does not stay open over the summer.”

“Why not?”

Minerva sighed, “I'm sorry, Mr Lupin, that's just how it is.”

“Yeah, but why?” Remus was still frowning at her intently. If anyone could make Minerva McGonagall uncomfortable it was the child scowling across from her right now. She was about to respond when Sirius nudged his friend.

“Don't, Moony,” he said firmly, then turned back to Minerva, “We understand, Professor McGonagall.”

Remus opened his mouth but shut it abruptly at the dark look Sirius was giving him. Minerva sighed: these boys always seemed to get her sighing and tutting and yelling, now didn't they? Marauders indeed.

She got to her feet. “It's good to see the two of you studying.” Then she left, pausing briefly at the portrait hole to look back. The two boys were leaning in to each other, intense expressions on both their faces.

Well, Minerva thought, as she turned and left the common room; Sirius Black may have a bad home life, but at least he'd found a family at Hogwarts. And Remus Lupin may ultimately be the one to drive her insane, but his intentions were good so she could hardly fault him for it.

After all, she'd been a student once too; and the truth was that Minerva McGonagall was not fooled by Remus Lupin's innocent face because she'd once been very good at wearing such a face herself.

Minerva smirked to herself as she headed back to the Great Hall: what goes around really does come back around now, doesn't it?

Her amusement was short-lived. When she re-entered the Great Hall her feet sank down into an inch deep snowfall. She looked across to the staff table where Albus Dumbledore's ears had gone bright pink.

“Right,” she said and strode over to the headmaster: time to demand a pay rise.

***

**New Year 1973**

_ALBUS._

The budgets for the new year were tight, to say the least. Minerva's demand for a pay rise had been fervent and Albus had quickly given in. The snowfall in the Great Hall had undoubtedly been crossing a line, after all, but it _was_ just a bit of frozen water.

He chuckled to himself as he wandered out of the castle and down towards the lake. It was early in the morning and he was enjoying his weekly sunrise walk.

But then, as he passed by a shrub, he overheard a hotly brewing argument between two of his students. Albus, ever the concerned teacher, stopped to listen in.

“I don't know why you don't just tell her, Sirius,” hissed a voice he recognised as that of Remus Lupin's. Having taken a keen interest in the werewolf since writing to his father to invite him to Hogwarts, Albus stepped a little closer. What was going on here then?

“It's none of her business,” Sirius Black retorted, loud and angry. How unusual, Albus thought wryly. “And it's none of yours either at that too!”

“How can you say that, Sirius?! I'm your friend. James and Pete too. We care about you. We're worried.”

“Well stop worrying.”

“Oh yeah, cos telling someone to stop worrying always works so well.”

“Look, I'm not telling McGonagall.”

“I think you're being an idiot.”

Albus had to whole-heartedly agree with Lupin there: trying to hide things from Minerva McGonagall never ended well. She had a knack for finding out the things you most wanted her not to know. Albus thought sadly of his all-year bouncy castle plans before turning his attention back to the argument heating up behind the shrub.

“Let's do a prank.”

“What?” Lupin sounded blind-sided, and Albus had to admit that though Sirius Black was a notorious prankster, even he, Albus, was slightly wrong-footed by the direction the argument had taken.

“Let's do a massive prank!”

“Sirius...”

“No, Moony, listen,” Sirius said, voice bursting with fervent excitement, “It'll be the last one with just you and me before James and Pete get back. We need lots of exciting things to tell them because I know James, at least, will have done loads.”

From behind the bush, Albus heard Remus sigh loudly, “Fine. What were you thinking?”

“Well how about snow again,” Sirius said, “But throughout the whole school, not just the Great Hall.”

“It's an interesting idea,” Remus said, clearly considering. Albus himself, was considering how far to let this new conversation go before he announced himself.

Maybe a little longer, he decided: it would be interesting to hear how they planned on making it snow throughout the castle. When he'd done it with Doge back in fifth year, they'd struggled to find a decent enough weather charm, but perhaps these bright second years could figure it out quicker.

“I bet McGonagall's nostrils would flare so wide that her nose would grow,” Sirius said chortling and Remus snorted.

Albus grinned: this seemed like the perfect moment. So he cleared his throat loudly and the laughter broke off.

Then two heads appeared, bright red, from behind the bush.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” he said with a wide smile.

“P-p-professor,” Remus said, mouth slightly agape. Sirius looked torn between laughing and hiding which Albus found very amusing.

“Enjoying the morning sunshine too?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Lovely, lovely,” he said and looked up at the sky, “It looks like it might snow later. What do you think?”

He looked over to the two of them, eyebrows raised. Remus had somehow gone even redder but Sirius had finally cracked, breaking down into slightly hysterical peals of laughter. Albus watched, amused, as Remus too started to break.

“As amusing as snow throughout the entire castle seems,” Albus said, sighing at the thought that he had to now be responsible or else nearly all the school budget would end up going into Minerva's pay-check, “I don't think Professor McGonagall's nostrils could take the strain. Better leave off, eh boys?”

“Y-y-yes professor,” Remus said and Sirius nodded through his tears.

“Jolly good,” Albus said, beaming, “And happy new year to you both.”

And he carried on his way, listening in amusement as both Gryffindors broke down into peals of hysterical laughter.

Ah, to be young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I am conflicted with Dumbledore as a character. Part of me sees him as a powerful manipulative bastard and another part of me refuses to see him as anything but the slightly eccentric genius type. Writing him is hard. This whole chapter was fun to write but writing teachers is h a r d and, er... yeah. Honestly I'm not sure about this chapter and doubt any experimenting like this will be happening for a long while. But I needed to try it out, ya know?
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading. The next chapter is a Sirius POV (and I'm super excited about it) and I will be posting it on FRIDAY. That's right folks, I'm taking the plunge: updates are to be twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays till the New Year. xx


	24. January - February 1973: SIRIUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank you guys for being so supportive and insightful. It really really means a lot when I see a comment and even though my response may not be anything particularly eloquent or whatever, I really really appreciate your comments. All feedback is incredible so thank you.
> 
> And now... Sirius...

**January – February 1973**

_SIRIUS._

The carriages rolled up to the castle doors and Sirius bounced on his toes in excitement: they were back! James and Peter were back: the Marauders were all re-united. And he and Remus had _so much_ to tell the other two. What a strange and brilliant break they'd had.

For sure – it had started off a little dull, what with the full moon and everything. But Sirius had brought Moony so much chocolate the morning after, and then they'd planned their epic Christmas day prank over Honeyduke's finest in the sanctuary of the Hospital Wing – making sure Pomfrey didn't overhear of course.

Sirius beamed: it had been a good break. He continued to bounce on his toes, so excited that his best mates would all be back together. He especially couldn't wait to tell James  _everything._

James, who was the first one out of the carriage, ruffling his messy hair as he did. Sirius beamed and gave a shout as he came tumbling up the steps to pull him into a tight hug.

“We're back!” James yelled and Sirius heard Remus snort.

“Really? Couldn't tell.”

“Oh Moony,” James said, overdramatic, and he released Sirius so that he could pull Remus into a tight embrace. “I've missed you.”

“Alright, alright,” Remus said, pushing him away, “And what'd you do to Pete?”

James huffed, “He chose to ride with the girls rather than me. Can you believe that?”

“Still obsessing over Mary?”

“Got it in one.” James shook his head and Sirius didn't blame him: Peter's unrequited love gimmick was getting old now.

“Idiot.”

“Yeah, you'd think he'd care about us more seeing as we're his best mates,” James said, but without any real bitterness, “It's like the saying goes: Marauders before...” he trailed off, searching for the right word.

Sirius decided to help him out. “Sworders?”

“We're calling the girls _sworders_ now?” Remus asked dryly and Sirius punched him lightly on the arm. He'd have hit James harder but Remus needed softer handling what with being a werewolf and all.

“Stop being such a cynical tosser.”

“Well maybe if you made a little more sense once in a while...”

“Stop bickering like an old married couple,” James said, sidling in between them both. He took them each by an arm and together the three of them marched into the Entrance Hall, “Now. Tell me everything you've been up to.”

Sirius beamed. “Well. Most importantly, McGonagall admitted her undying love for me.”

“What?”

“She apologised to him.” Remus corrected as they headed towards the Great Hall.

“WHAT?!”

Sirius grinned even wider. “I know right? Crazy!”

James turned to him, gripping him firmly by both shoulders and staring down at him intently: “Tell. Me.  _Everything._ ”

So he did.

***

Having settled down in their dorm with Peter returned to them from the girls, Sirius was starting to regret telling James absolutely everything. It had been bad enough with just Remus whining about telling McGonagall, but now he had James too.

“Will you both leave off?” He huffed from where he lay sprawled out across his bed.

James plonked himself down on the edge of Sirius's bed. “No.”

“Ugh.” And Sirius shoved him right off again. “Don't make me have to go to sleep early just to avoid you tossers.”

“Sirius, we're just concerned about you,” Remus said softly, “And, um, clearly McGonagall knows something is really bad at home so...”

“I'm fine,” Sirius retorted, “I'll be fine over the summer. If I just keep my mouth shut - ”

“Oh yeah, because you're so good at that,” Peter snorted from where he was already nestled in his bed, pyjama-clad and all.

“Why don't you piss off and harass MacDonald?” Sirius hissed and he was satisfied to see the other boy blush.

THWUMP.

The pillow landed splat in the middle of his face. Sirius blinked as it dropped away and he turned on Remus angrily.

“Really mature, Moony.”

Remus shrugged, “If you're gonna behave like a prat then I'll treat you like one.”

Sirius stuck his tongue out at Moony who smirked back at him. This was stupid.

“Look, mate,” James said from his position on the floor, “If you don't want to tell McGonagall then that's fine. We all agreed to as much.”

“Good. Then leave off.”

“But,” James continued, hand raised, “You're coming to mine for at least part of the summer. And mum says you can stay for Easter too if you want.”

“Nah, I'm staying here for Easter,” Sirius said firmly. James frowned.

“Any reason in particular.

“It's the full moon during the holidays,” Sirius said with a shrug. He glanced over to Remus who wasn't smirking anymore. In fact he was looking down at his hands as though they were the most interesting things in the world.

“Oh,” James said and bit his lip. He looked over to Remus. “Can your parents not cope with the wolf anymore?”

Remus shook his head, “They think they can but they don't.... They don't know how bad it's getting.”

“Is that cos you're getting older?”

Remus nodded in response to Peter's question and Sirius noticed how tense the werewolf's jaw was. He felt his own heart beat hard. Remus would be the last to admit it, but the changes in his lycanthropy were really scaring him. Sirius could tell. There had to be something more the three of them could do for him. There just had to be. Spending the morning after with him in the hospital wing was all well and good, but there had to be something more they could do. There just had to be.

And Sirius was determined to figure out what. He glanced over to James who was staring at Remus with a considered frown: no doubt James shared that same determination. Sirius looked over to Peter who had returned to his comic happily enough: and they'd make sure Pete helped too.

The Marauders looked out for their own. And Remus was a very important Marauder, Sirius decided: very _very_ important.

***

“I think Madam Pince hates me.”

The library was quiet this late in the evening and Sirius's voice carried much louder than he intended. Said librarian looked up from her desk and scowled at him. Oops. He smiled, trying to dazzle her with his charm. Her gaze softened somewhat but she was still eyeing him intently so Sirius hurriedly looked away, back down to the heavy book in front of him.

“I'm sure she doesn't hate you,” James yawned, turning the thick pages of his ancient tome with a sigh, “Get back to reading.”

Peter started snoring from where he was slumped, head resting firmly on the open book in front of him. Sirius poked him, hard, and the boy bolted upright, staring about startled.

“Wha-wha-is it?”

“Don't fall asleep,” Sirius hissed, “Remus won't be sleeping tonight so we can't either.” He glanced out the window where the full moon was beginning to glow over a darkening sky. He hated winter. It got darker earlier in winter and the moon came out sooner. Sirius couldn't recall hating winter before Remus told them about being a werewolf, but now he despised it with a fervent passion.

How bloody dare the season have the cheek to shorten the days and draw out the nights! It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. Poor Moony.

Thinking of his friend forced Sirius back to the task at hand: he looked down at one of the books James had snuck out from the restricted section with his cloak. _Dark Creatures and How to Kill Them._

It made him feel sick, reading the chapter on werewolves over and over, trying desperately to find something that would help him look after his friend. But the stupid writer – a hag from the late seventeenth century – just seemed obsessed with silver and bullets and dead wolves. Stupid witch.

He closed the book with a thump of billowing dust and pulled another from the pile in the middle of the table. _Cursed Wizards and the Disease of the Transformed._

This one, at least, seemed somewhat more sympathetic to people with lycanthropy. It wasn't set on de-humanising them like the stupid 1600's witch. But still: nothing. Just pity tinged with contempt and a vague description of chains and dungeons to hold a werewolf for the full moon. Sirius looked at the ugly diagram of a woman partway through transformation, her wrists bleeding through the metal containing them.

No way, Sirius thought firmly: no way would they ever do that to Moony. No way.

The three of them knew were Remus went each full moon. He'd told them all about the Whomping Willow and the strange shack on the edge of Hogsmeade village. Sirius had wanted to explore it right off the bat, but Remus had got very angry and said he never wanted them to ever see it. Not ever.

Well, Sirius thought grumpily: screw that. He just needed to persuade James and Peter, and then one night, not tonight obviously, the three of them could give Remus the slip and go see the place he transformed themselves. Sirius needed to be absolutely certain that there were no silver chains, no bars; despite Moony's reassurances that there weren't.

“Alright boys, library's closed now.”

They looked up to see Madam Pince looming over them. She glanced down at their pile of books and a frown appeared on her face.

“Are those restricted section volumes?”

“No.” Peter said, voice so high-pitched as to be an admission in itself.

The librarian's nostrils flared. Oh dear.

“We'll just be going then,” Sirius said, quickly scooping up as many of the books as he could carry. Their research wasn't ending with the closing of the library: no way.

“Wait one moment, Black,” Pince said, voice rising dangerously in volume.

Yeah, like he'd do that. He glanced to James who had also gathered as many books as possible. Eyes wide, his friend nodded.

“RUN!”

And they did, knocking back their chairs as they scampered away from the angered librarian. Peter lurched behind them. BANG went the doors as they threw them aside and then they were pelting down the corridor.

“McGonagall will hear of this!” Pince screeched from behind them but they didn't stop to look back.

So what if McGonagall put them in detention or took away house points? That was hardly a punishment for them by now, and Remus was much more important than all that nonsense anyway. Moony was a bloody important Marauder, and Sirius was determined that they were going to help him. No matter what.

They reached the fat lady and made their way into the common room slightly out of breath only to come face to face with an unamused Frank Longbottom, arms folded, eyebrows raised.

“And what have you three been up to now?”

Sirius sighed, “Why do you always assume the worst of us Frank?”

Frank raised his eyebrows further and Sirius bit back a smirk. Longbottom was a prefect this year and had been taking this new responsibility very seriously, often coming down quite hard on the Marauders. It was sad really: last year Frank had been relaxed and easy-going, and often one of the first to laugh at their various pranks, but now. Now – look what being a prefect had done to him. It was a great shame, a calamity really.

Sirius hoped that when, ultimately, one of the Marauders became a prefect, as inevitably one would what with them being the only Gryffindor boys in their year and all; that he would not turn into what Frank had turned into: a rule-lover.

“What have you got there?” Frank asked, nodding to the books in their arms.

“Is studying a crime now?”

Frank snorted, “Like you lot ever study.”

“Hey,” Peter cried, indignant, “ _I_ study. No need to lump us all together.”

“Let me see those books.”

“No.”

“Potter,” Frank said, voice testy.

“No.”

“Black!”

But Sirius had pulled his wand. There was no way he was going to let Remus's secret be risked for the whims of a power-mad ex-friend. Frank's eyes bulged. Sirius discreetly passed his books to Peter, and both he and James started to edge round Longbottom.

Sirius had a firm grip on his wand. He was only a second year and Frank was a fifth year prefect but everyone knew that he and James could hold their own in any sort of duel.

“McGonagall will hear about this,” Frank hissed. Sirius shrugged.

“And?”

“You are incorrigible,” Frank cried exasperated. “You lot will lose us the house cup.”

“Oh well, there's always next year.”

Sirius lowered his wand with a bright grin as James and Peter leapt up the dorm stairs, disappearing round the bend near the top, the incriminating books disappearing with them.

“Ten points, Sirius,” Frank said, arms folded.

“Now whose going to lose us the house cup?” Sirius asked, eyes bright. Frank glowered at him.

“Come on, Sirius,” he said, “You're coming with me to see McGonagall.”

“Sure thing,” Sirius said brightly, “You know me and Minnie have a special bond, right?”

“Whatever you say,” Frank said, voice tired.

Sirius followed after him as they exited the common room, walking down the corridors to McGonagall's office.

It was late, almost curfew, and moonlight streamed through the tall windows overlooking the lake and the forbidden forest. Far away, Sirius knew that Remus was in pain, suffering in his werewolf form. And that made everything that was happening to him now, with Frank and soon McGonagall too, seem frivolous and unimportant.

Who cared how many detentions McGonagall gave him? What did he care if Gryffindor never won the house cup ever again? What was it all to him, when his friend, his fellow Marauder, his Moony, was out there suffering?

“Wait out here,” Frank said when they reached their head of house's office. He went in, leaving Sirius to lounge against the opposite wall, still staring – or rather glowering angrily – up at the full moon. Stupid celestial body. Stupid stupid stupid. He sighed then looked up as Frank came back out.

“Try and keep your head, Sirius,” he said, voice gentle now, “For your own good, mate, really.”

Sirius nodded, waving his hand nonchalantly as he walked past the prefect and into McGonagall's office.

The door clicked shut behind him and he was face to face with a very tired looking Minerva McGonagall. She sighed heavily when she saw him and gestured for him to take a seat. The fire crackled loudly in the grate by her desk and silvery moonlight slipped through the edge of her window despite the heavy curtains now drawn firmly across.

“Evening, Minnie,” Sirius said with a smile as he dropped down into the proffered chair, but it was all too forced. He really wasn't in the mood. His mind was on Moony and lycanthropy and that stupid book by that stupid seventeenth century hag and it was all so _stupid_.

“Madam Pince has been to see me,” she said, “And now Frank tells me you held your wand to him – to a prefect.”

Sirius shrugged. “Is that better or worse than the time I punched the head boy in the face?”

McGonagall closed her eyes and took a long breath in. Then she forcefully lowered her shoulders and re-opened her eyes again.

“I know this evening must be hard for Mr Pettigrew, Mr Potter and yourself,” she said, voice soft, “What with what poor Mr Lupin is going through.”

“He's told us what it's like,” Sirius said, words tumbling out even more uncontrollably than usual, “He says he can feel it – all his bones popping and his face changing and everything and how it hurts so much. And... and he says it's getting worse as he gets older and he doesn't even want to tell his parents about it which I get in a way but only because my parents are like what they are, but Remus's parents are amazing and he loves his mother so much so why would he want to keep it from her when she's so kind and nice and his dad's good too and... and... professor?”

“Sirius,” McGonagall said, voice tight. She rubbed at her face and Sirius could swear he saw her eyes glistening for a moment there, but then she cleared her throat and looked at him severely. “You can not use Remus Lupin's condition as an excuse to act out.”

“I'm not!” How dare she? Sirius felt his hands tremble: as if he would ever... as if... as if! He glowered at her but she met his gaze with a steely one of her own.

“I'm sure Remus would prefer to spend his untransformed time _with_ his friends rather than wait around whilst you serve out so many detentions for your various crimes.” She took a breath. “He needs you, Sirius. You and James and Peter. He _needs_ you. So why,” and here her voice lowered dangerously; “Why would you so irresponsibly ensure that you can not be there for him by putting yourselves in detention all the time?”

Sirius opened his mouth then closed it again. He frowned. She did make an excellent point.

“I didn't think of it like that,” he said eventually.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows, lips a thin line. “Clearly.”

“Will you be putting us in detention for tonight?” He asked in a small voice, barely able to look at her now.

“Yes.”

“But - ”

“What would we tell Frank Longbottom and Madam Pince were I not to put the three of you in detention for tonight, Mr Black?”

Sirius sighed, “I guess.”

“Good,” McGonagall said firmly, “Then your detentions will start at the weekend.”

Sirius looked up, surprised, but then he realised: she was giving them tomorrow to be with Remus.

He nodded quickly. “Yes professor.”

“And I expect the behaviours of all four of you to improve over the coming days.”

He nodded again. “Yes professor.”

“Very well, Mr Black,” McGonagall said curtly, “Then you may leave now. Head straight back to the common room, it's nearly curfew.”

Sirius nodded a final time then got to his feet. He hesitated for moment by the door, looking back at the straight-backed witch sitting at her desk, her silhouette framed by flame and firelight. “Thank you professor.”

She looked at him and they made eye contact, McGonagall's lip quirking slightly. “Good night Sirius.”

“Good night professor.”

And he turned and left, her office door clicking shut behind him.

***

Sirius really had intended to take McGonagall's words to heart but the thing was... when Remus was involved in their pranks, the four of them ended up spending all their time together anyway. Just... in detention together.

So although McGonagall's point had worked very well for the particular circumstances she was talking about, it didn't really apply for most of the things they did.

And now here they were: Valentine's Day 1973.

Remus and Sirius were in firm agreement that everything romantic was ridiculous. This was a sentiment that was more or less shared by James (though even he would say there was something in it when it came to Andy), but one which Peter, lovesick fool that he was, wasn't so keen on.

Either way, Valentine's Day was a prime opportunity for all sorts of mischief and mayhem. Sirius was never going to forget Remus's spell on Lucius Malfoy last year that turned his slimy blond hair a bright pink. No – never would he forget something so beautiful as that: it had really been a work of art.

But this year they had wanted to do something bigger, less targeted at Slytherins perhaps: something light-hearted and witty, but also hilarious and brilliant.

And Remus Lupin had come up with the perfect prank.

So when the school woke up on Wednesday the fourteenth of February, it was to find that the entire castle and grounds were overflowing with growing red roses. They twined everywhere: along walls and round the backs of chairs, up through the cracks in floorboards and spinning about the bannisters of the stairs. Everywhere.

“I can't believe you lot!” Evans cried as she batted away a slow growing rose that was winding itself happily round her wrist in the Great Hall that morning. Another part of the enchantment had been to get rid of the nasty thorns because no one liked thorns, even if a rose sat between them.

And the best part of the enchantment was yet to come.

“I hear Dumbledore's asked all staff to leave them alone,” Dorcas whispered to Sirius as they sat together. Sirius raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she giggled then turned to her breakfast plate which was enshrined in rose petals. He noticed her blush and thought that was interesting. _Very_ interesting.

He turned to Moony who was sitting opposite but the werewolf had a dark scowl on his face as he stared at Dorcas. Strange.

“Oi Moony,” he said with a beam. Remus blinked and quickly rearranged his face into a smile. Sirius decided to ignore the strangeness as he shared Dorcas's information: “Apparently Dumbledore thinks the roses should stay for the day.”

“Does he?” James asked, chortling, “Well I'm sure he'll be changing his mind when the next phase is enacted.”

“Next phase?” Marlene asked, looking worried, “What are you lot up to?”

“We're just celebrating Valentine's day,” Peter said, with a half glance towards Mary, “Cos we're mature and grown-up like that.”

Sirius snorted but made no comment. Up at the staff table, McGonagall was watching the four of them carefully so he took the opportunity to wave at her. Her gaze darkened visibly and Sirius hurriedly looked away, turning to James instead.

“When're you gonna...”

“After we've eaten,” James said with a smug grin. Brilliant, Sirius thought and hurriedly started shovelling his fried eggs down.

And soon enough, all four of the Marauders had finished eating. Sirius looked to James who covertly glanced around before taking out his wand, pointing it at the nearest rose and muttering the well-rehearsed spell.

And suddenly the dulcet tones of T-Rex filled the Great Hall, echoing out from the bright red roses.

_ Well you're dirty and sweet _ _  
_ _ Clad in black _ _  
_ _ Don't look back _ _  
_ _ And I love you _ _  
_ _ You're dirty and sweet oh yeah _

“Bloody hell!” Evans yelled from further down the table, but Mary and Marlene were laughing. Dorcas turned to Sirius with a coy smile.

“I know this song.”

Sirius felt himself blush so quickly looked away, happening to make eye contact with Remus across the table. Remus, who was frowning again.

“Oi, Moony,” Sirius said and cocked his head to one side in confusion, “Your prank. Your song choice. Why the long face?”

Remus hastily rearranged his frown into a grin. He shrugged, “Maybe we should've done Hot Love instead.”

“Nah,” James said confidently, as though _he_ knew anything about muggle music, “Get It On is funnier.”

Sirius snorted, then had an idea. He pushed his plate out of the way and clambered up onto the table to dance.

“Merlin's pants Sirius!” Remus cried but Sirius ignored him. This was too good. Over at the staff table he saw McGonagall laughing, actually laughing, and everyone was having a great time, bobbing along to Marc Bolan's hypnotic voice.

“Ms Meadowes,” Sirius said, struck by inspiration, and he leant down, offering his hand to the blushing witch. She exchanged a nervous look with Mary who gave her a hasty shove, then she was clambering up with Sirius.

There were some whoops from around the hall and then the two were dancing, bobbing and twirling and laughing. Sirius grinned: this was fun. He liked making her smile and blush: it was very satisfying.

_Get It On  
Bang a gong  
Get It On _

He glanced down to see Remus looking morose but then James had clambered up onto the table too, pulling him into a spin. Sirius laughed but he was still concerned about Remus. He glanced back but now Moony was smiling, exchanging smirks with Marlene. Oh, Sirius thought, that was a relief. He'd hate for Remus to be upset.

Then Dorcas tugged him back and the two continued to dance. Up and down the Gryffindor table and all around the hall, others were starting to join in too: people were upon the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables now as well. Sirius saw his cousin Andy being spun about by Ted Tonks at the far end of the Hufflepuff table.

Well, he thought, content: if the head boy was enjoying the prank then the Marauders could hardly be in any sort of serious trouble for this, now could they?

People were really enjoying their Valentine's prank. Brilliant.

***

Of course, half a day later, and with the roses still projecting the same song on repeat, over and over, people seemed less enthused.

“Maybe we could change the record?” James suggested under his breath to Sirius as they walked to Transfiguration.

“Nah, I'm sure the teachers will make it stop soon enough.”

“I think they've already tried to,” Remus said, biting his lip, “And the roses just got bigger and louder. You've noticed that too right?”

“Right...” Sirius looked down at the nearest bunch of roses: they did look slightly bigger now, and louder too. And then as he watched they seemed to grow even more. Ah. That couldn't be good.

“Did you guys figure out how to undo it before you did it?” Peter asked in a small voice. The other three were silent.

Oh dear. Well. Sirius swallowed. Surely the teachers would figure out how to undo it eventually. Surely?

__Get It On  
Bang a gong  
Get It On

T-Rex continued to sing the same refrain, over and over.

“Maybe we'd better change the record at least,” Remus said slowly. Sirius nodded.

“Yeah.”

They came round the corner and stopped abruptly. Professor McGonagall was standing in the middle of the corridor, eyes closed, bobbing her head along to the music.

“What have we done?” James said, horror clear in his voice.

“Let's back away, slowly,” Remus whispered, voice urgent. The others nodded and they began to make their retreat.

“And where are you four going?” McGonagall asked, and she stopped moving and opened her eyes to stare at them, wry smirk on her lips.

“Er...”

“Well...”

“Professor, you see...” Sirius trailed off. He really didn't like the look on McGonagall's face. It wasn't a scowl or a glower or a stern tight jaw. She looked deeply amused. More than that, even: she looked mischievous.

Oh dear Merlin, Sirius thought: what had they done.

She pointed into the classroom. “In. All of you, and sit down.”

The four of them reluctantly moved into the room where the rest of the class were already sitting. No one was smiling or dancing or singing along anymore. It was the same song. On repeat. Over and over and over and over.

“I used to love this song,” Remus said, shell-shocked. The four of them slowly took their seats just as McGonagall strode in with a sinister smile.

T-Rex continued to sing.

***

“Never again,” Sirius huffed as they finally took the bloody record off.

“The teachers must have done something so they couldn't hear it themselves,” Remus said thoughtfully. He carefully put the record back into its wallet and sat down on his bed.

“Why though?” James asked, his voice desperate, eyes wide, “Why not just make it all stop?”

“They pranked us.” Peter said and a deep silence fell across the dorm as the four of them considered what this might mean.

“Well then,” Sirius said eventually, “It's over, isn't it? We'll never be able to play a prank again, not after this.”

“Wait, wait,” Remus said firmly, “It doesn't have to be like that.”

“Doesn't it?” James sounded hoarse and desperate.

But Sirius sighed, “I wish you were right Moony, but everyone knows we've been outdone...”

“But do they?” Remus asked, sitting up on his bed and looking round at them intently, “If we take responsibility for this, for all of it, then surely that'll turn us into even greater pranking legends.”

“But everyone will hate us,” Peter said in a small voice, but Sirius was considering it. What Remus was suggesting was big, and bad, and brilliant.

“You're a genius, Lupin,” he said, springing off his bed and kissing Remus firmly on the forehead. The other boy blushed and pushed him away.

“Don't be a prat.”

“But this is it, don't you see?” Sirius cried and turned to James, “We take responsibility for all of it and, yes, people might hate us for a while, but our reputations as Hogwarts greatest pranksters ever is still in place.

“Are you sure?” James asked, biting his lip, “I couldn't bear it if people found out that McGonagall got one over on us.”

“Never!” Sirius stood up tall, “We will _never_ surrender!”

Remus snorted and Sirius turned to him, beaming. The other boy wasn't blushing anymore and was instead staring right at Sirius with a bright expression on his face. He was a genius.

“Alright,” James said at last, “I agree. We take responsibility for the whole day, and damn the consequences.”

“But won't the girls hate us,” Peter said, worrying at his lower lip. Sirius rolled his eyes: typical Peter.

“It's for the greater good, Petey,” he said, throwing an arm round the smaller boy's shoulder.

“Um, not sure _that's_ a good way to put it,” James said, eyebrows raised.

Oh right, Sirius thought: those were the words of a terrible dark wizard. Right.

Remus snorted, “A short term loss for the long term gain.”

“Yes,” Sirius said, snapping his fingers happily, “That's what I meant.”

“Alright then,” James said, nodding happily as he settled down on the top of his own bed, “Then we're all sorted.”

“Mary's gonna hate me forever,” Peter said sadly and Sirius threw a cushion in his face.

“Oh get over it Pettigrew,” he said, “She was never going to date you again anyway.”

“Sirius,” Remus said from his bed, a warning in his voice, but Sirius ignored him. He flung himself out on his own bed and recalled dancing on top of the Gryffindor table with Dorcas this morning. That had been fun. Pity Remus had seemed a bit strange about it. Sirius frowned and glanced over to his werewolf friend who was now padding over to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Sirius watched him disappear, then pulled out the book he'd hidden under his pillow.

He flicked to the right page and read the sentence he'd found only the other night. It was short and simple, barely there at all, but it had made all the difference in the world. Sirius now knew how he was going to help Moony. He'd tell James and Peter tomorrow, and soon enough Remus's transformations would be so much easier.

He read the sentence again, fingers brushing over the two most important words which he'd firmly underlined. A warm glow grew in his stomach.

_And it is a proven fact that werewolves will never harm other animals during the full moon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needless to say the prank in this chapter came about because I was listening to T-Rex on repeat, over and over. And over. In this house we listen to good songs on repeat till we hate them. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading and, as I said in the notes at the beginning, I really appreciate you guys so much and all feedback means a lot. So thank you <3
> 
> And the next chapter is a Remus POV which I will post on Tuesday (look at me keeping to a routine ;P) xx


	25. March 1973: REMUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, so this fic is going to go on a break. I think I bit off more than I can chew when I decided to do twice a week updates and I am not happy with some of the stuff I've written after this chapter but I don't have the energy to properly go over it right now.
> 
> So, that being said, this will be the last update till the new year, but I quite like this chapter and hope you guys do too. :)

**March 1973**

_REMUS._

Remus had no idea why he was so unhappy about Sirius's flirtations with Dorcas. No idea at all.

He really couldn't think of any sane and rational reason for it, but when he saw Sirius winking at her or when Dorcas would giggle and bat her lashes or they'd laugh together, heads close; Remus would get the strangest urge to hit something, or someone.

It was really unnerving.

He liked Dorcas, he really did. She was sweet and funny and very good at keeping Marlene in check when the other girl was getting overly-rowdy. Remus had also had many interesting conversations with Dorcas about all sorts of things: from the shared experience of having a muggle mother and wizard father, to fascinating talks about Dorcas's mother tongue of Vietnamese which her mum would always encourage her to speak at home, and all the way to intense discussions about muggle racism.

She was calm and chilled: seemingly a perfect opposite to Sirius who was all impulse and passion. But she also had an intense ferocity that Remus knew could keep Sirius in check.

Really, he thought to himself, they would make the perfect couple.

So why was he developing an irrational and intense hatred for the pair of them?

He wasn't talking to Dorcas anymore, even if he happened to be hanging out with the girls. He'd chat with Mary, Lily and Marlene happily enough but if Dorcas tried to engage him he'd find himself going all cold and offish with her. It was awful.

And then there was Sirius himself.

To be fair to Remus, Sirius was acting like a prat towards the rest of the Marauders whenever Dorcas was brought up. He'd start being all condescending and all-knowing just because he and Dorcas had held hands that day. It was like he'd forgotten that it was actually Peter, out of all of them, who'd been the first to go out with a girl.

But Remus was definitely over-reacting to him. The two of them would end up bickering all the time now. Remus's temper had significantly shortened when it came to Sirius. He couldn't seem to bear him and when the other boy started talking about Dorcas, Remus could feel this strange ringing in his head, like he was sick or something.

It didn't make any sense. He liked both of them so much, so why was it upsetting him so much that they were slowly starting to date.

“It's not just you, mate,” James confided to him the day before Remus's birthday. “I'm finding it annoying too, y'know.”

Remus had somehow managed to persuade James to come study with him in the library so it was just the two of them that morning: Peter was serving a detention with Slughorn for accidentally blowing up his cauldron again, and Sirius was hanging out with Dorcas. Remus's stomach clenched painfully at that thought.

“I just don't understand what she sees in him,” Remus said coolly as he scratched a line out in his Transfiguration essay. “She's so nice and he's so...”

“Oh come off it,” James chortled, “I know Sirius can be a bit of a tosser but even I can see the appeal for the ladies.”

Remus huffed, “I don't know what you mean.”

“Let's see,” James said, and started counting on his fingers, “There's the hair, the cheekbones, the casually handsome smile...”

“Alright, alright,” Remus said, holding his hands up to stop him, “I get it.”

“And I suppose he has pretty eyes too,” James added, swinging back on his chair with a thoughtful expression.

Remus sighed, his mind flicking to said grey eyes. They were probably staring intently into Dorcas's right now. The quill in his hand snapped and Remus swore as rogue ink splattered across his essay.

“Bloody hell, Moony,” James cried, “What are you – jealous or something?”

Remus frowned, “What?” But James's eyes had widened almost comically, and he stared at Remus, mouth ajar.

“You like Dorcas, don't you?”

“Of course I like Dorcas,” Remus said, completely baffled by James's strange expression, “I get on well with all the girls, you know that.”

“No, no,” James said in a hushed whisper, “You _like_ Dorcas.”

Remus stared at James. What the hell was he going on about? Maybe not having Sirius's total attention for pranks had driven the poor boy insane. The two were nearly inseparable usually. It must be hard for him to not have Sirius egging him on. Look now – James was so at a loss as to what to do that he had agreed to study –  _study –_ with Remus in the  _library_ .

“You're upset with Sirius and Dorcas dating,” James went on voice low, “Because _you_ want to date Dorcas yourself.”

He sat back in his chair, smug grin on his face. Remus blinked, confused. He hadn't even considered that. Maybe it was true: that would explain his frustrations with Sirius after all. But then why would he be feeling so cold and frustrated towards Dorcas too?

Remus frowned. “Maybe...”

“What d'you mean maybe?” James cried, “I'm totally right. You're jealous of Sirius because you want to date Dorcas. It all makes sense.”

“I guess...” But Remus wasn't sure whether what James was saying could be completely accurate.

“Ugh,” James said with a sigh and his face fell down onto the table. He turned to look up at Remus with a morose expression, “This is bad. But remember what we said at the start of term?”

“Er, no.”

“Marauders before sworders.”

“I still don't get how girls are sworders.”

“They just are, ok?”

“No, I'm not ok with it.”

James huffed and sat back up, scowling dangerously at Remus, “Look here, Lupin,” he said firmly, “You and Sirius are going to hash this out. You both like the same girl and there's only one way to sort this.”

“There is?”

This did not sound good. Remus had quickly learnt that a look in James's eyes like the one he had now only meant trouble. It was a rare look and Sirius's matching look occurred much more regularly, but Remus knew that when James had the look in his eyes, it was going to be much  _much_ worse.

James got to his feet with a bright grin, “Oh yes. This is going to be brilliant.”

Remus groaned. He had no idea what James's idea was but he just knew that whatever it was, it was going to end badly. Really badly.

***

“You what?”

“Sit back down, Sirius,” James said curtly. He glared over his glasses at the two of them in a look that was unnervingly reminiscent of McGonagall.

Remus sighed from where he was sat on the chair opposite Sirius's. James sat between them with a clipboard and quill whilst Peter was watching in excitement from a spare table against the opposite wall.

The empty classroom was dimly lit because James had closed the blinds so the only light came from a bobbing _lumos_ spell directly over their heads. It was absurd, to say the least, but also so completely a James thing to do.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” James said, putting on a stupid voice, “Welcome to the newest coolest quiz game: 'For the Hand of a Lady!'”

Peter got out his tinny sound recorder and pressed a button to let loose the sounds of cheers and whoops. James preened happily but Sirius did not look impressed.

“I'm not doing this,” he said curtly, “Dorcas likes _me_ ,” he gave a disparaging look to Remus, “And that's all that matters.”

“Shut up and sit down,” James said grumpily, “Or else I'll have to take out Dorcas Meadowes completely. Clearly she is driving a wedge through our friendship and that is just not acceptable. So either play along and win or else I'll have to kill her. You don't want to turn me into a murderer now, do you?”

Sirius huffed but reluctantly sat down. Remus gave him a despairing look but Sirius just scowled back at him. Great – so now Sirius hated him. Remus wasn't even sure that he liked Dorcas like that anyway, but James had been so bloody certain. Ugh, he just wanted to go up to bed, eat some chocolate, and prepare for the inevitable jug of water that awaited him on his birthday tomorrow.

This was all so stupid.

“James, we don't need to do this,” Remus said, “I'm not sure I even like...”

He trailed off at the glare James gave him. Bloody hell: sometimes James could be even worse than Sirius, and that was saying something. So Remus gave up and allowed James to continue with his strange game show. Where'd he even hear about muggle game shows in the first place?! This was all so stupid.

“Round one,” James said, putting on that stupid voice again, “Is called 'Know Thine Fair Lady'.”

“I object to the word fair,” Remus said automatically, “It conflates beauty with whiteness and...” He trailed off at James's face. Maybe repeating his mother's speeches on white supremacist beauty standards wasn't the best idea. He sighed, “Fine, fine, go on.”

“In this round I will ask the contestants a series of questions regarding the notoriously bewitching Dorcas Meadowes, and they must answer correctly,” James went on, “The person who gets the most answers correct wins the round. Any questions.”

No one said anything. Sirius was scowling alternately at James and Remus. The sound of tinny cheers filled the classroom as Pete played his stupid recorder again.

“Alright then,” James said with a wide grin, “Sirius, as the defender, goes first.” He cleared his throat and looked down at the clipboard, “What is thine lady's favourite colour?”

Sirius sighed, “Purple – like the heather round where she grew up.”

Remus raised his eyebrows, surprised that Sirius would know that. James looked shocked too, his mouth slightly agape. He cleared his throat and looked hastily back down at his clipboard.

“That is correct, er, one point to Sirius.”

Peter's recorder spat out cheers again. James coughed then turned to Remus.

“Alright, Remus, all to play for here,” he said, “Your question: when is Dorcas's birthday?”

“What?” Sirius cried, aghast, “But that's so much easier!”

“No it's not,” James huffed. Remus rolled his eyes.

“And how did you get this information anyway?” Sirius asked, eyes narrowing, “You haven't been stalking her have you?”

“No, no of course not,” James said, arms raised, “I just asked her the questions the other day.”

“Did you give her a reason why you were asking her all these questions?” Remus asked, voice strained. What the hell sort of chaos was James inadvertently wreaking?

“That is not part of the game,” James huffed, “Now, Remus, do you know the answer or not?”

“Yes I know it,” Remus said stiffly, “Fourth of January.”

“That's correct!” James nodded to Peter who pressed the tinny cheers again. Sirius scowled at Remus and Remus looked anywhere but at him. This was all so stupid. He didn't like it when Sirius was cross with him and this was all James's fault really. Remus was pretty sure now that he didn't like Dorcas like that: he was just bored and frustrated with all this teenage nonsense about dating.

He sighed as he realised that tomorrow he too would be a teenager. It was all so stupid.

“Next question is for Sirius,” James said, grinning brightly, “What is Dorcas's middle name?”

“Er...” Sirius bit his lip, clearly stuck, “Um... I think I know what it is but it's really hard to pronounce. You have to get all the tones correct.”

“I'm gonna need an answer soon,” James said. Peter pressed a button on his recorder and the pre-recorded crowd went _ooo_. Sirius scowled at Peter.

“I don't want to butcher it,” Sirius whined, “She says it so beautifully.”

“Ok, Remus, do you want to try?” James asked, turning to Remus.

“No, no,” Sirius hastily said, “I know it. It's...” He hesitated, took a breath. “ _Hồ Xuân_ _?_ ”

Remus flinched. He couldn't speak Vietnamese but he'd heard Dorcas say her name and Sirius was right – it was beautiful – and Sirius had just completely butchered it.

“Hm,” James said, glancing down at his clipboard, “Well. That's not how she pronounced it.” He considered, then turned to Remus, “Want to try Moony?”

Remus shook his head fervently. No way. One white guy butchering Dorcas's middle name was more than enough for one day.

“Very well,” James said, “Then no one gets the point.”

“Oh come on!” Sirius cried, “At least I tried.”

“Exactly,” James said, wrinkling his nose, “And you should be grateful I'm not taking points away for it.”

Peter snorted.

“Ugh, you're being so annoying Potter,” Sirius huffed but James just shrugged.

“Remind me to never let you try to pronounce my Hindi middle name.” He shuddered, “My mum would never forgive you.”

Sirius got to his feet, arms folded and brows furrowed deeply, “This is stupid. I'm out.”

“Yeah, maybe if you beg Dorcas on bended knee she might forgive you for what you just did to her name,” Peter said with a chortle. Sirius turned on him.

“Piss of Pettigrew,” he hissed, “Just because I have no intention of betraying Dorcas's trust like you did with Mary. Just because you're jealous.” He glowered round at them all, “You all are. You're all just immature children.”

“I'm going to be thirteen tomorrow just like you,” Remus retorted. “Don't act like you're so much older and wiser cos you're not, Black, you're about a billion times more immature than the rest of us.”

“You know what, Moony,” Sirius hissed, and he strode over so that he loomed over where Remus still sat, “You're a self-righteous prat who needs to get over himself. So what – you're a werewolf – that doesn't make you better than us.”

Remus got to his feet quickly and Sirius took a step back.

“Alright, alright,” James said, getting to his feet too, “That's enough you two. Clearly Sirius hasn't enjoyed this.”

“You think, Potter?” Sirius cried, turning away from Remus to glower at him, “You're ridiculous, you know that? Naive and selfish and stupid. We're not here just to dance to your tune. We're not toys or puppets that you can muck about with. Some of us actually have real problems in life.”

James's mouth was slightly open but Remus had his own bones to pick with what Sirius had just ranted.

“You think _I_ think my lycanthropy makes me _better_ than you?” He shouted, striding back over to Sirius, “Are you fucking thick? I turn into a monster once every month and you think I think that makes me better? _Better!?”_

His voice had risen in volume but now it broke, the pitch cracking at the end. Remus felt himself blush but he was still too mad at Sirius to back down. Here was the boy who had told him over and over that he wasn't a monster, who had seen him fall apart when he'd realised his friend knew about his dark secret; and he thought that Remus saw it as something that made him _better_?!

Sirius's jaw tensed and Remus knew what that meant: he was going to be bloody stubborn and stupid. There would be no amends today.

“Yeah, you do,” Sirius said, folding his arms, “You think it makes you wiser and all-knowing like some sort of guru wannabe.”

“Fuck you.”

And with that final word, Remus shoved past him and stormed out of the classroom. Distantly he heard Peter's stupid sound recorder going off again, so as the door slammed shut behind him, cheers and whoops accompanied him out. So bloody stupid.

***

“And then I left.”

He let out a huff of annoyance and looked down at the two girls watching him pace in front of the common room fireplace. He hadn't been able to tell them everything because they didn't know about his lycanthropy and he had no intention of letting them know it. Not ever.

Mary exchanged a look with Lily who sighed.

“I'm sorry Remus,” she said softly, “It sounds like Sirius can be really cruel sometimes.”

“You think!” He exclaimed then sighed and sat down on the armchair across from them. Mary frowned.

“It sounds like James was being the real prat here though,” she said firmly, “Imagine doing that stupid game when it's clear that Sirius and Dorcas like each other.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, though he felt a little morose now, as though his hot anger had had a pin stuck into it. He felt all deflated.

“And you said he asked Dorcas all those personal questions for the game?” Lily asked, but before Remus could reply, Marlene and Dorcas came down the dorm stairs, talking animatedly.

They stopped when they saw the slightly serious expressions on the other three's faces.

“Everything alright?” Dorcas asked, looking between Mary and Lily, and then over to Remus. She frowned, “Where's Sirius?”

Remus almost wanted to bite out something snappy: like how he should be asking her that seeing as the two of them spent so much time together now. But he said nothing, instead giving her a strained smile and getting slowly to his feet.

“Oh, he's around somewhere. I'm going to bed now,” he nodded to Lily and Mary, “Night.”

“G'night Remus,” Mary said and she reached out to give his hand a soft squeeze as he walked by.

He was halfway up the stairs when he overheard Dorcas ask what was up with him.

“Oh you know what boys are like,” he heard Lily reply, “They're super weird. Don't know what you see in them, Dorcas.”

He didn't hear the rest of the conversation as the dorm door clicked shut behind him. He sighed then slowly got ready for bed, making sure to firmly draw his curtains shut when he settled down in his four-poster. He definitely did _not_ want to be disturbed tonight, and as for the typical Marauder birthday morning wake-up; Remus really doubted that _that_ was on the table after the huge argument earlier.

So, resigned to his thirteenth birthday being marred by tension and awkwardness between his best mates, Remus settled down with his mother's copy of Keats and a slightly battered chocolate frog he'd found in the bottom of his trunk.

***

He woke up with a start much later, book splayed across his front to the sound of padding footsteps across the creaky dorm floor. It was pitch black, the only light coming from the tip of his still-lit wand on his pillow. Remus glanced at his watch to see that it was almost one o'clock in the morning.

Well, he thought slightly bitterly, happy birthday to me.

Then he turned his attention back to the padding around the dorm. It had stopped at what he knew to be James's bed. There was a muttered _silencio_ charm and then silence.

Sirius must be talking with James, as per, Remus realised. He sighed and tried to get back to sleep.

But just as he was about to drop off again, the padding restarted, this time heading over to Pete's bed. That really got Remus's attention: Sirius had never gone to chat with Peter in his bed before. James had on occasion and so had Remus, but Sirius had never done this. Not ever.

The _silencio_ charm was cast again but this time for a much shorter amount of time than with James. Barely five minutes later and the padding recommenced. This time, headed directly for Remus's bed.

Remus braced himself for storm Sirius Black, but when the other boy's face did finally appear from around the red curtains, he looked subdued, strangely subdued – it was actually quite unnerving to see such an expression on the other boy's face.

“Can I?” Sirius asked softly. Remus hesitated but how could he say no to Sirius Black when he looked so much like a kicked puppy dog? He nodded stiffly and Sirius clambered into his bed, drawing the curtains firmly shut and muttering the usual silencing charm.

“What do you want?” Remus's voice sounded harsh even to his own ears, but he couldn't help it. Sirius had really hurt him with his werewolf comments.

He sighed: there seemed to be a theme with his life – of Sirius Black, someone he adored so dearly, hurting him. He hoped it wouldn't continue: forgiving Sirius was too easy and his words hurt so much worse than anyone else's ever could. Remus got hurt enough every full moon: he didn't need Sirius adding to those wounds by inflicting brutal verbal ones of his own.

“Remus, I'm sorry,” Sirius said in a small voice.

“Been making the apology rounds have you?” Remus's voice hadn't softened: he had to stay strong for as long as possible. Getting forgiveness from him couldn't become easy for Sirius. It just couldn't.

“Yeah,” Sirius said and rubbed at his arm, “I... er... I've been... you... er...”

“You really like Dorcas, don't you?”

“Well yeah,” Sirius said, blinking up at him in surprise, “She's sweet and kind and optimistic and ... and she thinks that I'm like that too.”

“If only she knew the truth,” Remus bit out and regretted it. Sirius visibly flinched. Then he sighed.

“Yeah. I deserve that.”

“So, your apology,” Remus prompted after a long awkward silence. Sirius looked up at him, eye to eye, then glanced away, cheeks turning slightly pink.

“I said what I said because it's true.”

“What?!”

This was the worst apology Remus had ever heard, but he'd probably still forgive the bastard. He needed Sirius in his life. He bloody _needed_ him, like a fish needs water or a wolf needs the moon.

“Well – you _are_ wise and all that,” Sirius said slowly, “And you _are_ better than us. All of us. Even James.”

Remus snorted, “Even James?”

“Ugh, just shut up and listen.”

“Excuse me?”

Sirius looked down, “Right, yeah, I'm apologising.”

“I mean,” Remus said with a sigh, “I did think that you're apologies were getting better since last year but clearly I was wrong.”

“Look, I'm trying to tell you how amazing you are, alright?” Sirius glowered at him and for a brief moment Remus swore time stood still as he stared into those burning grey eyes. He swallowed.

“Go on, then.” He was so grateful his voice didn't break for that. It was so hoarse as it was anyway.

“Well you are,” Sirius said, “Better than us I mean. And I feel so inadequate next to you, Moony. It's like you're kind and wise and tactful and brilliant. And then there's me who's just going around wreaking havoc and destruction with every word out of my mouth and I just... I get annoyed at you because you're so bloody... you're so...” He trailed off. Remus licked his lips.

“I'm so what?”

“You're so bloody perfect!” Sirius almost shouted it. He folded his arms and scowled up at Remus, “Alright? You're perfect and I'm bloody terrible and that's that! So yeah, you can fuck right off!”

Remus blinked. Storm Sirius indeed.

“Ok, calm down,” he said finally as Sirius continued to glower at him, “You said some really nice things there before you told me to... fuck off...” He raised his eyebrows at Sirius.

There was another long moment of silence, the two boys staring at each other incredulously.

Then Remus started to smile and his beam grew even wider when he saw Sirius's lip quirk, and suddenly they were both snorting, hysterical in the face of whatever the hell had just come out of Sirius's mouth.

After the mad laughter died away, Remus took a deep breath, and grabbed Sirius by the arm.

“Alright then, Black,” he said and Sirius looked at him, grey eyes wide.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We're good.”

“We are?” Sirius asked, face becoming solemn once more, “Because I know I'm terrible. I say things and I do things and I don't think and I bloody adore you, Remus – you and James and Peter. You're more important to me than any girl, even Dorcas Meadowes. I'd be lost without you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Remus said with a wink, “You love me, you need me, you'd be lost without me. I know, I get it. This friendship is basically a charity case on my part. I'm a saint and you're a sinner, and you're nothing but a terrible burden.”

“Well, I wouldn't go that far,” Sirius said, smirking, “Being friends with me undoubtedly has perks too.”

“Ah, well, I'd love to know them,” Remus said with a straight face. Sirius punched him on the arm and he let out an over-dramatic cry of pain, keeling over in false agony.

“Oh no, Moony, I'm sorry, I...” Sirius trailed off at the wide grin creeping across Remus's face. “You tosser!”

“Well – you don't have the monopoly on being melodramatic, Sirius,” Remus said with a snort and Sirius hit him again, a lot harder. So Remus grabbed his pillow and whacked him over the head and soon the two were engaged in a rather vicious pillow fight.

It ended when Sirius fell off the side of his bed with a great roar, waking up both James and Peter who came tumbling out of their respective beds with bleary eyes.

“Bloody hell, you two kissed and made up yet?” James asked with a yawn. He glanced over to the clock on his bedside table and swore a little more originally.

“Oh hey, it's your birthday now,” Peter said, stumbling out of bed. “Happy Birthday, Remus!”

“Merlin's tits, it is!” Sirius cried and scrambled up to give Remus a rough hug, “Happy Birthday Moony. Welcome to teenage-hood. You may now look down on those immature children over there and do hardcore drugs with me.”

Remus shoved him off, “Yeah, that'll be a no from me.”

James snorted, and stumbled over, pulling Remus into another hug, “Happy Birthday, Remus! Hey – you missed out on the jug of water over the head. You must be so sad.”

“So sad,” Remus said with a sigh, “Whatever shall my life be without that?”

“Don't worry,” Sirius said firmly, “We'll do it later. You'll have to go back to sleep at some point.”

Ignoring that slightly ominous comment from Sirius, Remus hugged Pete back as he embraced him then tumbled over to the bathroom to pee.

He couldn't stop smiling: Sirius was a tosser, but he was their tosser: the Marauders' tosser, totally and completely. Remus grinned into the bathroom mirror. And he was the Marauders' werewolf too.

He sighed happily: what a strange group they made. What a strange and brilliant group they were. He stumbled back out of the bathroom, still wrapped up in his happy thoughts, to be greeted by a jet of cold water to the face.

Those bastards. Sirius cackled from behind the jug and Remus pushed the water off his face to glower at the other boy. Then his lip quirked. Sirius blinked.

“Uh-oh,” James said from next to him, “That's not a good face.”

Remus drew out the large glass of water he had behind his back and walked calmly towards Sirius.

Sirius, brave Gryffindor that he was, yelped and dived behind Peter who ended up with most of the water on him. But Remus was already rushing back to the bathroom and re-filling. He could hear the cries of chaos and anarchy coming from the dorm and he grinned widely.

Oh yes – a very strange group indeed. But they were _his_ group.

He marched back out, armed with nothing but a glass and a burning desire for chaos. Water splashed into Sirius's face, wetting his dark hair and dripping down his perfectly formed cheekbones.

Remus laughed: mischief managed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading guys, and being so supportive - I really appreciate it. It's crazy how just one comment can bring so much joy to my day so thank you xx
> 
> But I really need a break from this fic. It has kinda got away from me and become something overwhelming in my head which sucks. So, I'm taking a break. Please subscribe if you want to catch me when I start updating again but that won't be till the new year at least.
> 
> Much love, lovely readers <3


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